


and maybe, your heart still stops when you see me

by thewaterymellen



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, High School, Kryptonian Language, Married Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, October Prompt Challenge, STAN KALE LUVERS OR PERISH, Songfic, Supercorptober2020, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, because i felt like teaching the general sc fandom kryptahniuo basics, kara gives mini kryptahniuo lessons, oneshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 95,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26769313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewaterymellen/pseuds/thewaterymellen
Summary: This is a collection of Supercorp one-shots for Supercorptober 2020! Prompts are by @kmsdraws!
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 277
Kudos: 250





	1. fell from the sky into my lap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 of Supercoptober: Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo... i never imagined this would be my first work for supercorp, but i'm very not productive and i've accomplished like, nothing in the last few months. this first chapter was written in a rush, in like, less than an hour because i was trying to publish it before it went over to october 2, but obviously, i didn't make it.
> 
> i'll shut up now. :)
> 
> Chapter Title from "Pete Davidson" by Ariana Grande (aka Track 14).

“Lee, help me!” Kara jumps with both feet onto a brittle leaf, grinning goofily when it crunches satisfyingly under her boots.

“With what?”

“Gather a bunch of leaves into a pile so I can jump into them!”

“Can’t you just, I dunno, use superspeed?” Lena picks up a limp leaf by the stem, twirling it between her thumb and forefinger distastefully.

“But it’s more fun if you help me! And everyone else will see.” The Kryptonian gives her a pleading look, cerulean eyes widening, mouth twitching into a pout that makes her heart flutter. Just a little bit.

How could she say no to those eyes?

“Please, Lena?”

“Fine. But you owe me lunch from… Paris.”

“Okay!” The superhero hops from browned leaf to leaf, giggling softly as they crackle under her shoes, eyes crinkling at the corners.

She vaguely wonders how Supergirl, the Girl of Steel, Hero of National City, Champion of Planet Earth can be so childlike, in an annoyingly endearing way.

Lena sighs. No point in resisting now. She bends down, looking awkward as she grabs a few damp leaves in her hands.

“No, not those! You gotta get the crunchy ones or it’s going to be sad.”

“Fine, fine.” She drops them, shaking her hand with a frown of disgust when they stick to her fingers.

The two spend the next half hour gathering crunchy leaves into a pile, well, Kara does most of it. Lena just wanders under the canopy of fiery foliage and watches her best friend dart back and forth, possibly dipping into super-speed when no one else is looking.

“Why are you smiling?”

“Huh? What?”

“You’re just standing there smiling. Why?” Kara wonders curiously, skidding to a stop in front of her, not even close to breathless.

The Luthor’s mouth opens, and a faint blush colors her pale cheeks when incoherent stammering just comes out, “Uh, uhm, your leaf pile just blew away!”

The reporter whirls around immediately, eyes widening in dismay when she realizes that her leaves are now scattered across the grass, no more than a pathetic mass of leaves.

“Stupid Santa Ana Winds,” she grumbles, stomping over to what’s left of the meager pile, kicking them together with a foot.

As if responding to her, a gust of wind sends the remains of the fire-colored leaves spiraling into the air, one into her mouth.

Lena bites back a chuckle when Kara splutters then pouts, crossing her arms like a petulant child.

“Stop laughing at me!”

“I’m not laughing at you.”

“Yes, you are!”

“It’s funny,” she bites her lip when a few giggles escape.

“You’re cruel.”

“Well, I guess, sometimes, my Luthor genes just shine through.”

Kara marches to her, clearly intending to scold her but her foot lands on a particularly wet leaf and her legs fly out from below her and suddenly, she’s laying on the leaf-covered grass.

If her best friend weren’t so indestructible, she would have panicked, but she may as well have been steel because Lena’s pretty sure the ground dented under the blonde hair that splays out in all directions, covered in leaf fragments and grass.

Lena just bursts into laughter, a grin splitting her face, but Kara groans.

“Kara? Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay! I just fell into a whole bunch of wet leaves,” she grumbles, making no move to get up.

“What happened to your super reflexes?”

“It’s not like I can just fly with like eighty people here,” the superhero hisses, propping herself up on an elbow.

“True,” Lena concedes, reaching out a hand to help her up.

The blonde takes it, pulling her down on top of her without warning. She lets out an uncharacteristic squeal as she flops down on top of her friend, landing with a soft  _ oof _ .

She rolls off Kara as her cheeks flame as red as the leaves, but the superhero makes no notice and jumps to her feet, adjusting her lead-lined glasses.

“You  _ jerk _ !”

“That’s revenge for laughing at me, you idiot.”

“Excuse me? I am many things but an idiot is certainly not one of them. This is humiliating,” she huffs, picking broken leaf out of her raven-colored hair.

“Right, right, forgot I’m friends with literally the smartest person on the planet.”

“Well, not the smart-”

“ _ I _ think you’re the smartest,” Kara offers one hand and a grin. “And don’t think about pulling me down unless you want to dislocate your wrist or something.”

“Meanie.”

“Idiot.”

“Dork.”

“I’m  _ your _ dork,” she simpers, which quickly morphs into an expression of horror and then embarrassment.

“Mhm,” Lena almost smirks at her friend’s rosy cheeks, grabbing the outstretched hand.

She pulls herself to her feet, fingers running through her hair, trying to comb the leaves out. When she’s satisfied, she turns to her hoodie and jeans and brushes her hands across them until they look just a little more rumpled than they were when she put them on.

She glances up at her friend, “Kara, darling, can you help me…”

Lena trails off when she realizes the Kryptonian is looking at her unwaveringly, an intense look in the vivid blue of her eyes that makes something flutter in her stomach.

“What? Do I still have leaves in my hair?”

Kara blinks quickly, her cheeks reddening a little more as she shakes her head vigorously. “N-no, of course not, you look fine, amazing, as usual, no, you look beautiful, and uh, yeah, no leaves in your hair!”

Lena frowns, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” she says, too eagerly, “nothing at all, I’m just dandy, and oh golly, no one says that anymore! No one says golly either. Wow, I’m such a weirdo.”

“Kara,” the youngest Luthor chuckles amusedly, “Slow down. Why are you so frantic?”

“I, uh, I… can I kiss you?”

“W-what?” It’s Lena’s turn to stammer.

“Uh, I just really wanna kiss you right now because you look beautiful, and oh, nevermind, please pretend I never said that because-”

Lena kisses her.

Kara flushes so bright Lena worries she’s going to explode, “Why’d you do that?” she squeaks.

“Because you wanted me to?”

The reporter deflates, “Oh.”

“No, no, no, not what I meant. Because I wanted to, okay?”

“Because you wanted to?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“So…”

“I like you. Like, like  _ like _ you. Wow, that’s a lot of like’s. I mean, well, what I’m trying to say is that I really like you, like, not in that friend way, but in that way where I think I might… be in love with you?”

“You might be in love with me?”

“Yeah,” Kara rambles, “You’re amazing and super smart and beautiful and wonderful and you’re a good person and beautiful, and I remember that time when we went to that gala because your mom was trying to kill Edge and you looked really nice in that dress and you’re my best friend. Oh,  _ Rao _ , you’re my best friend and I really don’t want to ruin our friendship especially after the whole I’m Supergirl fiasco, and oh gosh, I should shut up now.”

“You’re cute.”

“What?”

“You’re such a dork. It’s adorable.”

“Thanks. Wait, what?”

“Can I kiss you?” Lena asks bluntly.

“Uh, yeah, sure, of course! Yes! Please do!”

And so she does.

Her heart pounds when she’s leaning in, beating so fast it rivals a hummingbird’s wings, and now that she’s thinking about it, it’s so much worse. Her breath hitches when she feels Kara’s breath, and she swallows audibly, even for a person without superhearing.

And then their lips touch, softly, gently, almost hesitantly and Lena almost collapses right there. It feels so  _ right _ and like  _ home _ and the way her heart is racing with exhiliration and she just feels  _ so happy right now _ she wants to squeal like a little girl. She feels like this is what she’s been looking for her whole life, what she’s been missing and just realized now.

When she finally pulls away, it’s for air and her head drops onto Kara’s shoulder which is surprisingly soft for being tougher than steel.

“Kara?” she murmurs when her heart rate finally slows to the speed of a freight train.

“Yeah?”

“How are you still crushing leaves?”

“It’s satisfying! Watch!”

Lena just laughs, open and delighted, and just kisses Kara again, and nothing else matters anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is badddd like really really i didn't have time to edit or write so and I don't really care so I decided to publish this mess baddddd... I'm going crazy goodnight


	2. let's see the next amazing thing baking does now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2: Baking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blehhh i keep writing too slow, and now it's October 3rd... who cares? i think this is a little better than yesterday's? idk, I hope it is...
> 
> Chapter Title from "What Baking Can Do" from _Waitress the Musical_.

Lena wakes up to the faint sound of a smoke detector. It’s loud enough to wake her up through the paper-thin walls of her apartment.

She rubs her eyes blearily, noting with a groan that it’s three in the morning, but she gets up anyway, switching on a single lamp by her bed and blinking until her eyes adjust.

When the alarm fails to turn off after two more minutes, she ventures out into the hallway, eyes landing on the door of her newest neighbor, a girl who just moved about a month ago. She pauses to listen, soft mutters drifting through the door.

She knocks.

There’s no answer and the incessant blaring continues, so she pulls a bobby pin from her pocket and picks the lock. She knows she probably shouldn’t, but she’s tired  _ goddammit, _ and the alarm is annoying and has to be turned off if she’s going to get any sleep tonight.

She smells something burning, probably sugar by the way the saccharine aroma assaults her the moment she steps through the door.

“Oh my God, are you baki...” She steps into the kitchen, and the words die on her lips when she finds a young woman floating just under the ceiling, holding the smoke detector in her hands.

“Uh…” she immediately jumps to the ground, “hi,” she gives a little wave, and if she weren’t so annoyed and stunned, Lena would’ve thought it was cute.

“Oh wow, uh, you’re her.”

“Uh, who?”

“Her. You’re Supergirl. I live next to Supergirl.”

That explains why she never leaves through the door. Lena had thought she was just a recluse.

The blonde woman adjusts her glasses, “W-what? No! Who’s that? Never heard of her? Why would you think I’m her? What?”

Lena almost laughs, “You were flying.”

“No, no, I wasn’t! You must be… er, hallucinating, yes, that’s it!”

The blaring of the alarm ceases with a soft crunch.

“You just crushed the smoke detector in one hand.”

The mass of plastic and wires drops to the ground, and the woman lets out a nervous laugh, “I’m not Supergirl. You must be mistaken.”

“Take off your glasses.”

“Well, I’d be blind without them!”

“I don’t think so,” the now-fully-awake Luthor steps forward, pulling the glasses from her face before she has a chance to protest or move, “You know, for a Super, you have terrible spatial awareness.”

“I’m not-”

“These are lead-lined. No prescription.”

“Uh… I can explain…”

“Supergirl…” 

“I’m not-”

“Oh my God, stop denying it. You don’t even have oven mitts.”

“So? That doesn’t prove anything!”

“It proves you’ve been pulling this hot muffin tin,” she wrinkles her nose at the overly sweet smell, already feeling a stomachache, “without oven mitts. That’s not possible.”

“I used a towel!”

Lena’s palm hits her forehead with a long sigh, “What’s your name?”

“Kara.”

“Kara…”

“Danvers. Kara Danvers. I’m not Supergirl!”

“Yeah, well, I’m Lena Luthor.”

Her eyes widen and Lena notices for the first time just how blue they are. “Luthor? As in Lex Luthor? My cousin put him-” She seems to realize what she’s saying and clamps a hand over her mouth, eyes comically wide.

“Your cousin, hmm?”

“Y-yeah, my cousin is Clark Kent. Reporter at the Daily Planet in Metropolis.”

“So Clark Kent is Superman. Wow. Huh, my brother never told me that.”

“No! No! He’s not-”

“Kara.”

“What?” 

Lena hands her back her glasses, which she puts on hastily.

“You can relax. I won’t tell anyone. Promise.”

She just groans, sitting on the flour-covered floor with a soft  _ hmph _ , “My sister is going to kill me.”

“Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn’t be baking at three in the morning.”

Kara squints at her, “Did you pick my lock?”

“Maybe.”

She points a finger accusingly, but with the glasses perched crookedly on her nose and white powder in her hair, it looks anything but. “You broke in! I can arrest you for that!”

“I apologize for picking your lock. Your alarm woke me up, and it was annoying.”

“I was trying to bake cupcakes,” she grumbles, running a finger through the flour. “But apparently I can’t, or some person apparently needs saving, at like, two o’clock in the morning, and when I get back, it’s all burnt.”

Lena surprises herself with the next sentence that comes out of her mouth, “I can help.” She closes her mouth, but it’s too late to take back the words. “That is, if you want me to,” she adds quickly.

She’s blushing. She can feel the way her cheeks are burning and can practically feel the red slowly blooming on her skin. Her heart does this weird stutter thing when Kara’s eyes widen happily.

“Really?’

“Yeah, of course.”

“It’s, like, three AM.”

“Astute observation.”

“Aren’t you tired? Don’t you need to sleep?”

Lena chuckles, “Sounds like you want me to leave. I can go if you want. I’ll just-”

“No! Wait! Don’t go! I mean, stay… please?”

And her eyes— Lena notices for the first time just how blue they are— widen just a little bit and her lips morph into a pout, and it’s so natural (and cute) she wonders if she’s intentionally giving her that (irresistible) look.

“Okay, Supergirl.”

“Kara is fine,” the blonde jumps in, one corner of her mouth quirking downwards, shoulders falling just a fraction of an inch.

“Did I say something wrong?”

She sighs, “No, of course not!”

Lena raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, it’s just that I feel like people only want to be friends with me because I’m Supergirl, some super-powerful alien with powers and stuff.”

“Are you implying I’m only staying because you’re Supergirl? I’m offended.”

An apology is halfway out of Kara’s mouth before she realizes that Lena’s joking, and she flushes.

“Right. Let’s get to baking!”

***

Lena bursts out laughing when she realizes that Kara hadn’t bothered to use baking soda in her previous attempts, and the Kryptonian just pouts adorably and floats to the top shelf of the cabinet to grab the box.

“So,” The younger Luthor watches in fascination as Kara pulls the first two muffin tins out of the oven with her bare hands, completely unaffected. “Why are you baking at three am?”

“I just felt like eating cupcakes.”

“Can’t you just fly to some store and buy some?”

“Homemade cupcakes taste better. Less chemical-y and all that.” She wrinkles her nose.

“But do you have to bake at three in the morning without even knowing how? Your logic is flawless.”

“In my defense, I started at ten!”

“Oh wow, you’re really terrible at this.”

“Yes, I am. Now help me take these cupcakes out of the molds.”

“Kara, they’re underbaked. I told you you put too much batter in the liner.”

She sighs, and then Lena jumps back when she heat-visions the cupcakes, the soft desert browning just slightly.

“Whoa, is that safe?”

“Yeah,” the alien responds happily, plucking one from the tin to check that it’s fully baked ll the way through. “I do it all the time with Ms. Grant’s coffee and food when it gets cold.”

“Ms. Grant. As in Cat Grant.”

“Yup.” Kara lumps a spoonful of frosting onto the freshly baked cupcake before taking an inhumanly large bite, “I was her assistant. These taste amazing!”

“Kara,” Lena chastises, wiping a dollop of frosting from the woman’s nose without thinking. She licks her finger before she realizes what she’s doing and looks up to find Kara looking at her, mouth open. She clears her throat and continues her sentence, acting as nonchalant as she can despite the fact her heart is pounding and she’s not sure why. 

“We- we have to decorate the cupcakes, and if you eat any more, we won’t have any left to decorate… nope!” She bats Kara’s reaching hand away from the tray of cupcakes.

Silently, Lena scoops the white frosting into a piping bag, breathing slowly to try to slow her heart rate. Her stomach flutters, and it’s almost uncomfortable. She twitches uneasily as she ties the full bag, hands shaking slightly.

Kara is quiet too, the quietest she’s been since Lena walked in uninvited.

She adjusts the star tip before piping a neat swirl on the first cupcake. It’s quiet, way too quiet, and she can hear her heart beating in her ears and she’s 100 percent positive Kara can too because, well,  _ duh _ , superhearing.

“Can I pipe?” the superhero chimes in, giving her a bashful grin that does nothing to calm the storm that seemingly rages inside her body.

“Of course,” she murmurs, handing the blonde the piping bag. Her breath hitches when their hands brush.

The first one is not too bad; Kara squeezes too lightly and the meager pressure causes a small trail that breaks off.

The second is disastrous; the seams of the piping bag burst when Kara applies too much pressure.

Lena guffaws and Kara blushes bright red, and just like that, the tension is broken. The dark-haired woman swipes the bag and manages to salvage most of the frosting by dumping it into another piping bag.

“Can I-”

“No!” Lena puts the bag above her head, which is incredibly stupid of her because Kara has several inches on her and can fly.

Somehow, Kara jumps for it but ends up bowling Lena over, barely managing to twist so she takes the brunt of the impact, thanks to her inhuman reflexes.

Lena’s about to push herself to her feet and groan, but the words die in her throat when she realizes  _ how close they are _ .

The proximity makes her head spin and she looks down only to freeze.

Blue meets green,

( _ oh _ , her eyes are bright blue, the color of the ocean, a cerulean that lightens)

and they stay there, time frozen for an agonizing moment before Kara speaks.

“Your heart’s beating really fast.”

“Is it?”

“I can hear it.”

“Mhm.”

They don’t move.

A lock of black hair tumbles over Lena’s shoulder tickling her face on its way down, and the Kryptonian reaches up to tuck it back behind her ear.

Her throat closes, so she swallows, embarrassingly loud, to clear it.

The hitch of her breath is loud, far too loud in the silence that has blanketed the room, deafening, even.

“I, uh, I…” Lena fights to form a coherent sentence, but her face is mere inches away from Kara’s and nothing seems to make it from her brain to her mouth.

Kara’s gaze flickers to her lips.

Then back up.

Then back down again, and Lena is suddenly so much closer, Kara’s breath searing on her mouth.

Lena wants to kiss her.

She’s not sure why, or when that became an option, but suddenly, she just knows that she wants to kiss her. It’s a novel sensation, and it occurs to her that the flutter in her gut is butterflies, metaphorical, of course.

“I want to kiss you,” she blurts, and her face flames red, but there’s no taking it back, “Is that okay?”

Kara’s looking at her lips again, her voice trembling when she answers, “Yeah, th-that’d be okay, more than okay, actually. Great, even.”

So she does, leaning down the last few inches so that their lips touch.

It doesn’t deepen beyond soft, chaste kisses, just barely open-mouthed,

But Lena’s blood is on fire, and she’s never felt like this before. It’s half terrifying and half exhilarating and half amazing, and that makes it three halves, but she doesn’t really care.

How could she when she’s kissing Kara Danvers, Supergirl?

The small kisses slow and both are breathless and happy, just laying on the hard wooden floor, covered in sugar and flour.

Lena shifts so she’s no longer on top of Kara and instead next to her, their bodies pressed together, noses almost touching.

“Hi,” Kara whispers.

“Hi,” Lena whispers back.

“I think I like you.”

“Think?”

“I know I like you.”

“Mhm. Me too.”

“Can I take you out?”

“Like, a date?”

“Yeah.”

“I’d love that.”

They lay there, sharing small kisses until rosy light begins to bleed through the frosted glass.

The cupcakes lay forgotten on the countertop, slowly growing cold.

Lena heaves out a contented sigh when she rolls onto her back, intertwining Kara’s fingers in her own, and it feels right, righter than anything, and she’s sure of it.

Several quiet words are thrown back and forth, but eventually, the little bubble they’re in shatters when Lena’s phone buzzes in her pocket.

She exhales slowly, disappointed she has to go so soon, “I should probably head back to my apartment to change, and then I need to go to L-Corp.”

The Kryptonian nods, giving a little frown, “Aww, I forgot you practically own this huge company. Wait, if you’re the CEO, can you even be late?”

“Kara, darling,” she murmurs, noting Kara’s soft grin at the term of endearment, “You need to go to work too.”

“Right, forgot.” They push themselves to their feet, brushing the powder out of their clothes and hair. “Sorry for keeping you up all night.”

“No! It’s fine. I’m glad you did.”

“Don’t fall asleep at work!”

“You too.”

“Psh. I’m an alien. I don’t need much sleep.”

“Hence your amazing idea of baking cupcakes at three in the morning.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll see you tonight?”

“Yeah! Of course!” Kara sounds so excited Lena has to laugh adoringly.

The faint sound of sirens can be heard below, and Kara sighs, turning to the window. “The city’s beautiful.”

“Just like you,” she blurts, cursing her mouth for moving without her permission for the millionth time that day.

The superhero’s cheeks flood with red, and she sputters for a response before going with, “Stop distracting me! I need to go catch some bad guys!”

“Stay safe.”

“I’m  _ fine _ .”

“Promise me you’ll be in one, unscathed piece when I see you later.”

“Hm…”

“Kara!”

“Fine. Promise. And I gotta goooo.”

“Right. Bye.”

The kiss Kara gives her right before she slips into her suit and speeds out the window is hello, goodbye, and everything in between, and Lena has never been more sure about anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	3. we can just dance to this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3: Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so apparently i love to procrastinate and I really suck at completing work on time and apparently, that includes writing fanfiction asklfjdlkf it's 1:19 am so I am one hour and 19 minutes too late but who cares
> 
> Chapter Title from Troye Sivan's "Dance to This."

Kara doesn’t have a date for her Junior prom, but she goes anyway. Only because she’s three years into high school with absolutely no friends except Kenny, who had been killed in an accident two years prior.

She tricks Alex into letting her tag along by telling her that there was a chance, her date, Maggie was going to ditch, and after that, who was gonna stay with her?

It’s a terrible reason, but Alex is completely paranoid, something Kara takes advantage of.

When they stand in front of the mirror in the school bathroom minutes before prom starts, Alex breathes heavily, fretting over every small thing, especially the fact that everything might be too loud for Kara’s sensitive ears, and the alien feels a small twinge of guilt.

“Alex, I’m going to be  _ fine _ . Don’t worry about me. Tonight is about  _ you _ . C’mon, Maggie is going to love you,” she urges.

“You really think so?” Her sister adjusts her hair one more time.

“Yes.  _.ukiemodh w rrip eh, _ Alex _ , _ ” she murmurs in her native language, trying to calm her sister down.

“That means ‘I love you’ right?”

“Yup.”

“Yesss!”

Kara laughs, “It’s time. Go get your girl!”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be  _ fine, _ like I said. Who knows?” she jokes, “I might find someone.”

“Girl, you haven’t liked someone since Kenny. That would be  _ amazing _ .”

“That’s  _ terrifying _ . He knew I was an alien, and he was fine with it. Who knows if anyone else will accept me for it?”

“Kara Zor-El. You are literally Superman but younger and female. They’re going to love you,” she says assuredly, “Not that you can go around telling people,” she adds immediately.

“Of course,” Kara sighs, fixing her dress, “Now, let’s go! I can hear them letting people in.”

“No powers.”

“Right.”

***

An hour into prom, she’s watching Alex and Maggie dance and sing along to the song, and for the first time since she got here, she feels lonely.

It’s not that she’s alone; she’s used to that. Trapped in a pod for twenty-four years and then being utterly lost when she arrived on a completely new planet. 

She’s happy for them, sure, but she has a sudden irrational fear that Maggie is going to take Alex from her. Alex, her only friend, the only person who’s ever been there for her in the few years she’s been on Earth.

Kara watches the two of them with a half-smile on her face. They’re cute, she’ll give them that, and she’s happy, beyond happy to see her sister grinning from ear to ear.

And it hits her out of nowhere that she wants someone like that.

A boyfriend or a girlfriend.

(Gender didn’t really matter to her considering they were perfectly accepting on Krypton.)

She inhales slowly, heading over to the food table, making sure to use her heightened sense of smell to check if the punch had been spiked. Not that it would matter, considering alcohol didn’t even affect her due to her fast metabolism. She just wasn’t in favor of drinking underage.

It’s about ten o’clock when she looks up from discretely shoving her face with finger foods (because she has nothing else to do and doesn’t want to just stand there). There’s a commotion by the bleachers of the gym, nothing noticeable, but having super hearing, she picks up malice and the sound of frantic scrabbling backward.

She doesn’t know what she’s doing when she drifts closer to check it out.

There’s a group of boys surrounding a girl, snarling insults lowly. She’s backed against a wall, and two arms gripping her forearms tightly.

Kara doesn’t use her superhearing, but she catches the words “Luthor” and “Superman,” and her blood runs cold.

The girl gasps quietly when a hand smacks her across the face, another immediately clamping over her mouth in the case she screams.

She meets the wide eyes of the girl, and the feeling that rushes through her is calm.

It’s familiarity. She’s never seen the girl in her life, but the feeling that jolts through her is recognition, like  _ oh, it’s you.  _ Her eyes are green, green like kryptonite, wide and pleading, and Kara doesn’t think before she acts.

“What are you doing?” Her feet carry her forward, and to her credit, her voice is strong, unwavering.

“Stay out of this, Danvers.” A boy named Mike glares at her. He’s hated her since she rejected him several months ago.

“Stop! Let her go!” she glares back, pushing the boy closest to her to the side, shoving her way to the frozen girl in the middle.

Someone punches her, hard.

She doesn’t fake a grunt of pain like she does when she stubs her toe on the desk or runs into a door, just to avoid raising suspicion. She doesn’t let it push her head to the side.

The fist retreats and a boy cries out in pain.

“ _ Shit _ . What are you doing?” a feminine voice hisses in her ear, and her heart jolts in her chest.

“Saving you,” she replies, and a fist strikes her in the stomach. She doesn’t even flinch, but grabs the girl by the wrist, carefully, and pulls her out of there, barely managing to shield her from the blows that are coming from all directions. The smarter ones retreat, but some continue to chase them.

“How did you- they hit you-”

“Can you run?” she calls over the music.

The moment she receives a nod of affirmation, she takes off, mindful of the human behind her.

Chaperones begin to catch on and shouts break out across the gym, but she tugs the girl through the dark, her feet itching to fly faster.

They make it through the doors of the gym, shouldering past the chaperones who don’t realize until too late.

“Head to the staff parking lot,” Kara instructs frantically.

“But that’s a dead-end! The gate is closed!”

“Hurry, they’re gaining on us! We don’t have time!”

“What?”

“Just go!” Kara shouts, ushering the girl in front of her.

They turn the last corner with the bullies mere feet behind, and the blonde tugs the other girl into the shadows.

“Do you trust me?” she looks into her pale green eyes, wrapping her arms around the girl’s waist. Her heart flutters at the warmth, but she pushes it down, ignores the novel sensation pulsing through her.

The girl pushes a strand of raven hair out of her face, chest heaving as she pants for air, “Wha-”

She flies up.

Kara hadn’t used her powers since they helped the police arrest Kenny’s killer; she was scared of doing something wrong, of losing control.

She jumps up, fully aware that she might not be able to fly, but in the panic of the moment, she just doesn’t think and wills herself to fly.

And she does.

Arms wrapped securely around the girl’s waist, she shoots up, and in mere seconds, they’re far above the boys, who skid to a halt when they realize the girls are nowhere to be found.

The green-eyed girl’s arms are wrapped tightly around her neck, eyes shut tight.

Only when she finally catches her breath does she ask, “Who are you?”

“I’ll explain after we land,” she says quietly, slowly floating over to the roof of the gymnasium.

“Hurry. I hate flying.”

“Mkay.”

The girl almost crumples when their feet hit the solid roof of the building; it’s only Kara’s arms around her waist that keep her upright.

It takes her a second to realize she’s still in Kara’s arms, and so she tears herself away, pacing back and forth on wobbly legs.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Kara Danvers.”

“No, like,  _ what _ are you?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“Don’t what-do-you-mean me! You just fricking flew!”

“I-I’m an alien.”

“Well,  _ duh _ .”

“I’m Kryptonian.”

Her mouth falls open at that, “W-what? That- no. Superman is the last one. No. You shouldn’t have told me that.”

“Wha- why?”

The girl stops pacing and turns to look at her, square in the eye.

Something flutters in her stomach.

“My name is Lena Luthor.”

A jolt of realization strikes Kara in the chest so hard she gasps, “Luthor,” she whispers. “My cousin put your… brother?” She continues when Lena nods, “in jail last week.”

“Of course he’s your cousin. No, no, no. That’s not something you tell someone in my family.”

“Lena-”

“You don’t get it. My brother is crazy. He tried to  _ kill _ Superman. He failed, of course, but he’s not going to stop. And then you come along, and the moment he finds out about you, he’s going to try to kill you.

“You can’t- I can’t be associated with you. I can’t know you, I have to-” Lena breaks off into a sob, and Kara instinctively wraps her arms around her.

The Luthor tries to extract herself, but Kara holds her tight, “Lena,” she whispers, “it’s fine. I’m going to be fine. Your brother’s not going to find out.”

After unsuccessful attempts to free herself from the hug, Lena melts against her body, slumping into her, “It’s not just that. I’m a  _ Luthor _ . I’m forever going to be seen as the sister of the mad guy who tried to murder Superman. All the students hate me for it.”

“That’s why they were bullying you?”

“Yeah.”

“Is your cheek okay?” Kara pulls back to examine Lena’s face, cupping it softly with gentle fingers.

“They didn’t hit me that hard.”

They’re silent then, Kara’s hand on Lena’s cheek, breathing softly.

It takes a few moments for Lena to tear her gaze away. “We should get back down there.”

“They’ll kill you.”

“You’ll protect me.” It’s a fact, a statement, not a question.

“Lena… I’m not letting you go down there.”

“Fine. Then what?”

“Um, they just announced king and queen and they’re now dancing.”

“How did you- _right_ , x-ray vision.”

“Yup.”

“What song?”

“Beauty and the Beast.”

“Never got that song.”

“I think it’s about two people who don’t really know each other, but they meet and something clicks, and they fall in love. And they don’t know what’s changed, but they look at each other and they know that nothing will be the same again; certain as the sun rising in the east,” Kara says slowly, “‘Tale as old as time’ means love, probably. The beast is tamed by the love they share, and then happily ever after,” she finishes.

“How- What?”

Kara shrugs sheepishly, “I kind of liked that movie a lot when I first landed back on Earth two and a half years ago. Just something about a beast, an alien falling in love with a human that makes me feel like I can have a normal life someday.”

“Two years? Didn’t Krypton explode almost three decades ago?”

“Yeah, well, I was sent after Kal, after Superman when I was thirteen— well, thirteen earth years— to protect him, but the explosion knocked my pod off course into The Phantom Zone, where time doesn’t pass. I got stuck there for twenty-four years before something pulled me free and I crashed here.

“I got here as a thirteen-year-old, and Superman was already twenty-four. I used to change his diapers,” she snorts, “and now he’s eleven years older than me, biologically.”

“That’s insane.”

“Yeah,” Kara sighs, “sometimes, I wish I were human. I mean, I guess I’m not Superman, so I don’t have to protect the world, but I was sent here to protect him. That’s my mission, and now, he doesn’t even need my protection. It’s like I failed at my mission.”

“You didn’t fail, Kara. The Phantom Zone was an asshole and kept you trapped there for over a decade. That’s not your fault.”

“It might as well be.”

Lena doesn’t know how to respond to that, so she doesn’t.

The little moment of silence is all it takes for the girls to realize they’re still loosely embracing.

Kara debates whether to step back or not, but Lena doesn’t move, so she doesn’t either, her cheeks slowly heating up in the cool night air, so she blurts the first thing that comes to mind, “Can we dance?”

Lena blinks at her, “Like slow dance?”

The Kryptonian laughs nervously, “I mean, we are at prom.”

Neither of them moves; they stay frozen, bodies with barely inches of space between them.

“I’m gay,” Lena says quickly, and too loudly for the quietness of the school.

Kara flushes, “What?”

“I’m gay,” she repeats, softer. “I wish I could say that dancing with you as a friend is easy, but it’s gonna mean something to me. I-I can’t do that do you. You’re probably not even gay.”

The blonde laughs, “Sexual orientation wasn’t a thing on Krypton. Love was love, and love is just love,” she answers simply.

_ Love _ . She almost backtracks, ready to ramble to cover her slip-up, but Lena only blushes, barely noticeable in the dark.

“Oh.”

It’s like the filter from her brain to her mouth vanishes because the next thing she says is: “ _.:zhaoodh khap w rrip _ ”

_ I love you. _

“Is that Kryptonese?”

Kara almost screams when she realizes she said that out loud, and probably will if she opens her mouth, so she just nods mutely.

“What does it mean?”

“Lena…”

“Kara, what does it mean?”

“Iloveyou,” she almost spits out with how fast she says it, “But like not in that way, like, in that family or friend way, not the romantic, oh, who am I kidding?”

“Kara…”

“It means ‘I love you,’” she says finally, “ _ Love _ , love, not the friendly love.

“I don’t know why I said that. It just came out of my mouth, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say-”

“But did you mean it?” Lena interrupts.

She nods. “I know it’s weird when I didn’t even meet you until, like, an hour ago. But, I don’t know how to explain it. It wasn’t like love at first sight or something cheesy like that. It was like I saw you, and I thought,  _ Oh, it’s you. You’re the one. _ And I know that’s dumb because “soulmates” back on Krypton were literally determined by a computer calculating compatibility by genetics. But I saw you, and just, ugh, I can’t explain it. And I said soulmates, which oh, Rao, I am so stupid. I’m sorry. I ruined everything.”

Lena kisses her.

It is, by no means, a good kiss, but butterflies erupt in her stomach when the lips touch, a little too roughly and clumsily.

“I, uh, was that okay?”

Kara gapes at her, barely remembering to close her mouth before she stammers out a barely coherent answer, “I- wow, Y-yeah, definitely okay. More than okay.”

“Good.”

And so Kara darts back in for a second kiss because it’s only been seven seconds but she needs to feel that feeling again, that cavity in her chest being filled because she lost her home almost twenty-seven years ago, but now she’s found a new home.

She almost forgets to tilt her head, insanely close to unintentionally breaking Lena’s nose.

It’s awkward and slow; neither of them knows what to do or how to kiss.

Kara’s lips are tight, pressed together so tightly they’re almost white, and it takes a soft brush of Lena’s thumb for her to relax and melt into it. The latter is hesitant, too hesitant, lips barely puckered, just brushing their mouths together without much movement or pressure.

It’s nowhere near decent by the time they pull apart, a little breathless and dizzy, and while it’s far too early to assume anything, Kara just knows they have an eternity to get better at that.

“Now… can I have this dance?”

Lena giggles, adjusting her hands onto the Kryptonian’s broader shoulders, the latter gingerly curling her fingers around the Luthor’s waist.

Kara hums along to the music playing inside, and they move, step by step, a little ungracefully until it can someone be qualified as slow dancing.

“Will you go to prom with me?” Kara blurts out.

Lena chuckles, “If you haven’t noticed, prom ends in less than an hour.”

“I, uh, next year then.” It’s like her mouth has a mind of its own, speaking without her permission and saying the dumbest things. 

It’s honestly absurd, saying  _ next year _ when they just met, but they’ve shared a kiss, and they’re dancing, and it’s so familiar, so  _ home _ , Kara wonders how she ever lived without Lena,

To her credit, Lena doesn’t even blink at the commitment the invitation implies.

“Under one condition.”

“What?”

“You let me take you out on a date next weekend. And… you have to, not have to, that sounds like I’m forcing you. Uh, I want you to be my girlfriend.”

Kara doesn’t respond for a moment, and the raven-haired girl panics, “I mean, will you be my girlfriend? Is that okay?”

The blonde chuckles quietly, lifting her head to rest the side of her chin on Lena’s head, which lays lightly on her shoulder.

“Deal.”

Kara's not sure how she got so lucky. Sure, her new girlfriend might be the brother of Earth’s most notorious Super-hater, and Alex, Eliza, and Jerimiah might kill her for revealing herself as Kara Zor-El, a superpowered alien from Krypton, but she tells herself that they have all the time in the world to work everything out.

On the bright side, she’s already secured herself a date for next year’s prom.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	4. before you go, was there something i could've said?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: Dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm only 45 minutes past midnight this time! improvement! but like I suck at deadlines...
> 
> and since i'm apparently a fan of getting-together fics, or in this case, getting back together, here's another:
> 
> Chapter Title is from "Before You Go" by Lewis Capaldi.

Kara just wants to sit down on the floor and cry. Her chest feels like someone wrapped her heart in a kryptonite fist and crushed the organ in its relentless grip.

_ No crying, _ she tells herself, taking deep breaths to momentarily distract herself from the sharp pangs of pain that strike her every time she remembers.

She shoves her clothes into the suitcase she brought when she first arrived, gaze numb and blank.

_ This is just temporary _ , she tells herself.  _ We’re taking a break because we were taking things too fast and now we hit a wall at full speed. _

The superhero could use her superspeed if she wanted to, just grab everything and be out the door in a matter of minutes. But she’s exhausted; she didn’t get any sleep last night because she spent hours in tears agonizing over the fact that the bed was cold without Lena, who had offered to sleep on the couch. At around two in the morning, she had gotten up and flown out in her suit, scouring the city for any sign of trouble to distract her from the pain.

She slowly folds clothing from the laundry basket, sorting through Lena’s clothes to find her own. Even from about a foot away, her heightened sense of smell catches the scent of Lena, Lena’s shampoo, Lena’s perfume. Shakily, she brings it to ner nose, her legs going weak at the smell, and so she slides down to the ground, letting go of the ocean of tears pushing behind her eyeballs.

She sobs quietly, knees drawn into her chest, a dirty shirt pressed to her face.

A soft whine from beside her is what makes her look up after what feels like hours.

“Hey, boy,” she sighs as the dog noses his way into her lap, fingers lightly stroking his white fur. “I dunno what’s gonna happen. I wanna take you, but it’s not right to just take you away from your other mommy.”

He blinks, touching his nose to her fingers like he understands. It only makes a fresh wave of tears spill from her eyes, and she chokes on a sob.

“It’s gonna be okay, Krypto. We’re gonna be okay,” she whispers. 

Krypto turns his head, picking up the footsteps before Kara does, and she glances up, meeting Lena’s tearful gaze for just a second.

She gives her a watery smile that fades after a second, and she watches Lena’s shoulders slump and her head falls as she walks away.

Kara sniffs, hugging the white dog to her chest, burying her nose in his fur for a second before pushing herself to her feet shakily. She continues to sort out her own clothes, folding them slowly before stacking them. 

She puts Lena’s dirty clothes in the wash (at least the ones that can be washed using a washing machine) and turns it on just so the sound drowns out her pathetic sniffles.

Next, she heads over to the bathroom to grab her toothbrush; Lena had given her one when she first moved in and now, she takes it because she’s sure her— she doesn’t even know what anymore… (ex?) girlfriend— friend doesn’t want to be reminded of her.

She zips it up in a small Ziplock bag, tucking it into her suitcase. She moves almost in slow-motion, so different from her alter-ego as if she’s old and broken. As if she’s stalling because she doesn’t want to leave.

_ Broken seems pretty accurate right now. _

She inhales sharply when the fist around her heart squeezes, and her head drops until her chin touches her chest, her entire body trembling.

_ What’s the point of a heart of steel when it breaks? _

She sits down on the couch, tucking her knees into the back of the seat, her head drooping. She’s exhausted.

Her defeated gaze lands on a picture of her and Lena, one of the first they had taken together, framed and placed neatly on the coffee table. Kara has a vague recollection of crying with it clutched to her chest when she had first found out that Lena had been using her by trapping her in ice laced with kryptonite in the Fortress of Solitude.

She rips her gaze away, but her eyes can’t seem to land anywhere else, so she closes them.

_ A little rest won’t do any harm…  _ she thinks drowsily. She feels her dog climb into her lap, curling his body over her.

She drifts off, eyes swollen from crying.

***

Lena buries her head in her hands, eyes brimming with tears.

She lets them fall.

Last night, they had both somehow come to a mutual agreement to take a break. Kara had moved into Lena’s penthouse way too early, and they were spending too much time together or something. 

Lena tells herself Kara was the one who had suggested the break. If she could have it any other way, her girlfriend (ex-girlfriend) would be staying, and they’d be cuddling their dog on the couch, laughing over stupid jokes, or just making out.

But it’s her fault. She knows it is.

It’s about nine o’clock at night when the Luthor finally leaves their bedroom.  _ My bedroom now, I guess. _

She peers outside through a thin slit between the door and the wall. It had been silent for hours, and Lena had suspected Kara had left, but she catches sight of a sleeping figure curled up on the couch, the dog laying on top of her.

The blonde-haired woman lets out small snores as she sleeps, her face crusty with tears, eyes swollen.

She feels a pang of guilt that’s quickly overshadowed by a warmth that starts in her chest and blooms outwards. Seeing Kara asleep, looking peaceful and youthful makes her heart ache. She looks free of the burdens that come with being Supergirl, her body completely relaxed.

With a deep sigh, she sits down next to the sleeping woman and dog, feeling tears prick behind her eyes once more. Within the last hours of the day, Kara would be leaving. Going back to her penthouse. So they could have some time apart.

They wouldn’t be taking Krypto, who would be staying with Lena because they didn’t want to transport him that far of a distance to Kara’s unfamiliar loft.

She gazes at the sleeping figures, trying to savor the last few moments before they weren’t completely  _ together  _ anymore.

The Kryptonian shifts on the couch, probably noticing the way the couch dipped under Lena’s weight. She blinks open her eyes, and Lena's heart skips a beat like it always does when she catches sight of the vivid cerulean eyes that rival the deep, magnificent color of the ocean.

“Lena?” she rasps her voice grating with sleep and tears.

She just smiles mutely, and even that is hard when she knows that in a few minutes Kara will be gone. Too early. It slips from her lips, and Kara bolts upright.

“Shoot, I was supposed to go. I’m sorry.” She jumps up, and Krypto squawks as he’s thrown off the couch. “Oh, Rao. Sorry, boy. I’ll see you soon. I… uh, should go.”

Lena only watches painfully as Kara grabs her suitcase, gazing longingly back at Krypto, before clearly making an effort to tear her gaze away.

“I, uh… I… see you, Lee.”

“Okay,” is all she manages as the blonde turns away from her.

The Labrador lets out a low whine.

“Krypto,” Lena murmurs, crouching down to pet the white dog, “What’s wrong?”

The dog whimpers again, followed by a bark, and she watches as Kara freezes, a hand on the door.

“Shhh,” she coaxes, “What’s wrong, boy?” Her voice breaks and Krypto’s whine becomes more hysterical.

He turns to her, watery eyes wide— a look that reminds her so much of Kara her heart seizes— and even if she doesn’t speak dog, she understands in a single flash of clarity what he’s trying to say.

_ He doesn’t want her to leave. _

And Lena doesn’t either.

It’s her fault that she’s leaving, and she’s going to fix it. Right now.

“Kara.” She slowly rises to her feet, and the Kryptonian slowly turns around. Lena feels like she’s been punched in the stomach when she sees the agony in her eyes.

“Yeah?”

She hesitates, her tongue flicking out to wet her lips. Her heart pounds in her throat, and her fingers clench into fists while she tries to muster the courage to say what she wants to say.

What she  _ needs _ to say.

“Lee?”

“I.. uh…”

“Lena,” Kara murmurs, “no more secrets, remember? If you have something to say, sa-”

“I love you.”

The superhero freezes. “You- you what?”

“I love you. I know I should’ve said it before, last night, but I was so  _ scared _ . And I’ve never said that to anyone before, and when you said it, I just froze up, and I wanted to say it, but I didn’t. Because I was afraid of being vulnerable, and ‘I love you’ has no takebacks. I don’t know how we got to the decision that you were going to move back to your loft, but I don’t want you to go. I love you. 

“I’ve loved you since that very first time you walked into my office with Clark a stuttering mess, and that time you wrote that article about me. I love you. And even before I knew you were Supergirl, when I saw you saving the city, saving the world, I was so proud of you. I’ve loved you since you came to rescue me from dinner with Jack, and when you came after he- he died with flowers and told me that I didn’t have to be scared. I love you. I’ve loved you since that time when you were so adamant on proving that I was innocent and then saved me from a crashing plane when Edge found out. And then you put yourself out there, going to Kasnia to stop Lex with me, and then fighting Leviathan before your kryptonite suit was ready, and that’s when I knew I loved you, that’s when I knew I’ve loved you for a long time and just realized it now.

“And last night, I should’ve said it. I know I should’ve. But I got scared, and it’s my fault. You said it, and there was this pressure to say it back, and my throat closed up, and I could only watch as your face fell, and it hurt, it really  _ fucking _ hurt. And I’ve kicked myself, like every minute I didn’t have the courage to say it back to you, but I’m saying it now. I love you. I love you. Please don’t go. Please stay. I love you.”

Sometime during her long speech, she began to cry, and the moment she finishes, her throat constricts, and she swallows audibly, tears streaming from her eyes.

“I- I’m so sorry, Kar. Please don’t go. Please don’t leave. I’m sorry I couldn’t say that I loved you last night. I know you packed all your stuff, but I- I love you. And I’ll love you forever even when you make some stupid decision or fight with me over something we don’t agree on. I’ll love you even when I get old and wrinkly, but you’re still young and pretty because Kryptonians age slower under the yellow sun. Please. Don’t go now.”

The Kryptonian stands there, mouth open, completely frozen. A single tear slips from her eyes, followed by another, and then another, and she’s crying along with Lena.

She doesn’t know who moves first, but someone does, and they’re kissing, Lena’s arms thrown around Kara’s neck, the latter’s arms wrapped tightly around the former’s waist like she doesn’t want to let go like she’s never, ever, ever going to let go.

“I love you,” she mumbles against Kara’s lips, then kisses her deeper, harder, clutching her tight like she wants to hold on to her forever, kissing her slowly like they have all the time in the world too.

“Gosh, Lena,” Kara laughs wetly when they pull apart, sniffing, “I love you, too. I’m sorry I got mad when you didn’t say it back, but the truth is, you didn’t have to say it back. You could’ve never said it back and I would still love you.

“But gosh, I’m so insecure. And you didn’t say it back, and the part of me began to wonder if you still despised me for waiting so long to tell you I was Supergirl. And so I freaked, and gosh, I’m sorry, Lee. I love you. And I’m sorry that you felt like you had to say it. And I’m sorry that you were scared of saying it because you were scared of opening yourself. But I’m right here Lena, and I’m not going anywhere, and you don’t have to be afraid of being vulnerable.”

Lena chokes back a sob, tucking her face into the crook of Kara’s neck. “God, we’re saps,” is all she can manage through her tears, and Kara laughs in response.

And Krypto barks happily, squeezing his body between their legs, and they let out soggy laughs in unison.

And he rubs against their legs, padding in and out and in between, and Kara chuckles, “He’s like a cat.”

“Yeah.”

"And for the record, I think you'll still be breathtakingly beautiful when you're old and wrinkly."

Lena laughs, and her chest is light, and Krypto squirms happily, and Kara just giggles in this annoyingly adorable way that makes Lena feel like she’s flying.

_ This is my family. This is my _ _ home. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like, this whole thing was kinda inspired by the HSMTMTS plot where Nini and Ricky take a break because Ricky isn't able to say tell Nini he loves after she does... so heh
> 
> thank you for your comments and kudos! they're very much appreciated! :)


	5. we are just one big family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bleh :( I'm super late again because today was a busy day and I forgot to record a piece for orchestra, so I had to wait until after swim team, at like 11 pm, and by then, I still hadn't started this, so it's super short.
> 
> there's gonna be a whole lot of Kryptahniuo because I'm trying to learn it (along with Spanish and Chinese smh) because I'm already trying to learn two languages at once, so what harm is one more? all translations will be at the end notes :)
> 
> ahahahah Grammarly is really mad at me because of all the unknown words  
> 
> 
> Chapter Title from Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours."

“Mommy?”

Lena looks up from her phone to see her young daughter, Lori looking at her with wide tearful eyes that are so blue the ocean seems dull in comparison. It reminds her of Kara, and her heart aches for a moment. She’s clutching a stuffed Supergirl to tightly her chest.

“What’s wrong, darling?”

“I had a _zhindehd :dol_ ?,” the toddler mumbles, sniffling. 

“What about?”

“ _Ieiu_ ? didn’t come back,” she whispers brokenly, and Lena feels her heart crack for her daughter.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, _iskah_ ?,” she tries out the term of endearment, but despite the lessons in Kryptahniuo, there must be some undertone or consonant sound her mouth doesn’t manage to quite get, and it makes Lori start to cry.

“ _Ieiu_ calls me that,” she sobs.

“I know, baby girl, I know,” Lena feels her eyes begin to prick with tears, and she kneels down to embrace her daughter.

____

“I miss _ieiu_.”

____

“Me too. I miss her too,” she murmurs as she rocks them both back and forth.

____

Lori melts in her arms, letting her mother rock her slowly, tears and snot wetting Lena’s shirt.

____

“I love you, darling.”

____

“. _ukiemodh w rrip, eh mahmi_ ?,” she says, almost solemnly.

____

“. _ukiemodh vahdhah w rrip eh iskah ?," _Lena whispers into her daughter’s hair.

____

She receives a sad smile.

____

They sit there until their tears try and Lori falls asleep, cheek squished up against Lena’s shoulder. She gingerly picks the toddler up, who lets out a sleepy murmur, wrapping her arms around her mother’s neck as she carries her to her bedroom.

____

Lena sets her down gently on her bed, her heart swelling as she turns over with a grunt, her cheek indented with the lines from laying on her mother’s shirt.

____

She gazes at her daughter for a moment, her chest warm. _How did I get so lucky?_

____

With a deep sigh, she steps out of the room as silently as she can, her heart stopping when she sees a familiar figure floating outside the window.

____

Tripping over her own feet, she stumbles over to the floor-to-ceiling glass, pressing both palms against it, eyes already refilling with tears.

____

“Kara?” It comes out as no more than a gasp, but she knows her wife can hear it.

____

“Lena,” the flying superhero murmurs. She doesn’t hear her, but she can read her lips clear as day.

____

She touches down on the balcony, pushing her way indoors, and Lena throws herself into her wife’s arms, fully sobbing, tears streaming down her face.

____

“. _non ghao w chahv lorakh ?_," Lena croaks, and Kara's eyes brighten when she speaks Kryptahniuo to her. It’s always calmed her down, to be able to speak a language she once thought would die along with her.

____

“ _.raozhodh khap, khativ :zhao ?,” _ Kara replies, “ _.sem zhgamehsi khap w zehdh kav lizrhom”_

____

Lena has to pause to comprehend the mass of Kryptonian words, and the Kryptonian chuckles fondly at the way she frowns in concentration.

____

“I know it was important,” she mumbles into her wife’s neck, “but I really missed you. _.zhaoodh khap w rrip, eh kahrah ?_,”

____

“I missed you, too, Lee. _.zhaoodh vahdhah w rrip ?_,” She kisses her tenderly, and Lena almost sobs at the way Kara’s lips feel on hers after a month. 

____

“What happened?” the raven-haired woman dips her head to let their foreheads touch, both breathless.

____

“I got stuck on another Earth,” she admitted, “One where the Nazis won World War Two.” She shudders, “It was awful.”

____

Lena’s eyes widen in horror, “I can imagine.”

____

Before Kara can get in a reply, a flying streak collides with them, and even Kara lets out an _oof_ when the air is knocked out of her. She barely manages to keep Lena upright.

____

“ _Ieiu!_ ” Lori exclaims happily, “! _nahn rraop w ukep ?”_

____

“No powers in the house,” Lena scolds the same time Kara goes, “. _zha raogrhyso rurrelahs fis ?” _

____

They burst into laughter, but Lori interrupts them with a _hmph_ and a pout that has both her moms smiling adoringly at her.

____

Kara kisses their daughter on the nose, a soft peck that has the little girl giggling. “Love you, _iskah_.”

____

“Love you too, _ieiu_ ,” she replies.

____

Lori abruptly jumps from Kara’s to Lena’s arms without warning, and she almost fails to catch her, not that it would’ve been much of a problem considering she’s indestructible. 

____

“ _Oof,_ Lori, hi.”

____

“I love you too, Mommy.”

____

“I love you, my little monkey.”

____

The toddler giggles delightedly at the nickname, throwing her chubby arms around her mother’s neck.

____

“Hey! No leaving me out of hugs!” Kara pouts, before wrapping her arms around the two of them, cheek pressed against Lori’s brunette hair.

____

_I don’t know how I got so lucky, but this is everything,_ Lena realizes. _This is my family, this is my home, this is my forever._

____

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **kryptonese translations!**
> 
> /zhindehd :dol/ = bad dream  
> (i added this after because lkfsj why not)
> 
> /ieiu/ (pronounced "yeyu", or jeju in IPA) = Mom
> 
> /iskah/ approximates to "little one" or "baby" or something along the lines of that ~~idk I stole it from Supergirl in Training~~ edit: i found out what it literally means!! /is/ means baby (feminine) or infant and /-kah/ is a familial possessive suffix used in when speaking in the first person, so /iskah/ literally means "my (female) baby." "my daughter" would translate to something like /inah,kah/
> 
> /.ukiemodh w rrip eh, Mommy/= I love you, Mommy.
> 
> /ukiemodh vahdhah w rrip eh iskah/= I love you too, my daughter (idk how to use vahdhah, but it means "too" or "likewise") edit: moved it from the end to after the verb because my dumbass actually thought it was an adjective
> 
> /.nahnehth ghao w chahv lorakh/ = It has been one month (not too sure about this one) edit: added object particle  
> edit: changed word order; /lorakh chahv/ to /chahv lorakh/ because numbers aren't quite adjectives.
> 
> /.raozhodh khap, khuhtiv :zhao/ = I know, my love (not sure about this one either) edit: i have changed /khuhp i/ to /khativ/, turning it into a gendered pronoun and alienable posession
> 
> /.sem zhgamehsi khap w zehdh kav lizrhom/= I wish I could've come back earlier (really not sure about this one, especially with the whole could suffix on top of the present perfective suffix on /zhgamehsi/. it might be /zhgamsiehth/... not really sure. also, /sem/ actually means "want" because there's no entry for "wish." and /kav lizrhom/ literally means "more before" because "early" doesn't exist in the Doyle Kryptonian dictionary. :( edit: added object particle
> 
> /.zhaoodh khap w rrip eh,Kara,/ = I love you, Kara (in the romantic way) (I'm sure you all avid SC shippers know this one haha)
> 
> /.:zhaoodh vahdhah w rip/ = I love you, too (obviously) edit: moved /vahdhah/ to after the verb /:zhaoodh/
> 
> /!nahn rraop w ukep/ = (literally) you are here! (I meant to say "you are back" but "back" doesn't exist in the dictionary either... also, I dunno about the exclamation mark but punctuation is supposed to go before a sentence so *shrug*) edit: added object particle
> 
> /.zha raogrhyso rurrelahs fis/ = no powers in the house (apparently adding an -o makes a noun plural... help?)
> 
> disclaimer: by no means do I know Kryptahniuo. all this is just extensive research, and all credit goes to Darren Doyle, the creator of the language. i also suck at learning languages, so if you see any mistakes, I'll be ecstatic if you point them out (and maybe explain the correction). 
> 
> reeeeee bear with me cause school really skyrocketed my anxiety
> 
> this took a really long time despite being the shortest chapter (I'm gonna be honest, it still took less time than the others lmao), and i'd really appreciate it if you could leave a comment and/or kudos! 
> 
> <3
> 
> EDIT: SO BASICALLY I'M REALLY BIG DUMB AND THOUGHT 'TOO' WAS AN ADJECTIVE SO I WENT AROUND THROWING /VAHDHAH/ AT THE END OF A SENTENCE WHEN IT'S ACTUALLY AND ADVERB AND MEANT TO FOLLOW THE VERB SMH
> 
> EDIT 2: SO AFTER A BIT MORE RESEARCH I FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE BEEN FORGETTING THE OBJECT PARTICLE /W/ AND SO I ADDED IT TO THE SENTENCES THAT I APPARENTLY THOUGHT DIDN'T NEED ONE (I'm actually not too sure about this one; if I find out it's wrong, I'll come back and remove/edit it)
> 
> edit 3: upon request, i have added kryptonian translations with the words in a spoiler text type of thing. if you're reading on a computer, you can hover over the text and see the translation. ...sorry mobile users


	6. my love, my love, my love, she keeps me warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6: Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um almost 3 hours late this timea lsdkfjdsklf i shouldn't even be up at 3 am
> 
> but I wrote this starting at like 12 am because I am a masterprocrastinator 
> 
> teensy bit kryptonese but kara explains it all
> 
> Chapter Title from "She Keeps Me Warm" by Mary Lambert.

“Kara, are you sure you’re okay?” There’s a crease between Lena’s eyebrows as she presses the back of her hand to her friend’s forehead, “You feel kind of hot.”

“I’m fine!” she splutters, her heart rate spiking with Lena leans closer to peer at her face. She’s endlessly grateful her best friend is human and unable to hear her heartbeat, but with how hard it’s beating, she wouldn’t be surprised if she could.

“You’re really flushed. You sure you don’t have a fever?”

“I’m _fine_ , Lee. Stop worrying about me. I, like, never get sick, remember?”

“You’re only human, darling. How could you not get sick?”

The decidedly-not-human’s eyes widen at that, and she stammers, incoherent sounds leaving her mouth. The _darling_ doesn’t really help either.

Lena just rolls her eyes, padding swiftly to the bathroom to fetch a thermometer, “It’s fine if you’re sick. Everyone gets sick.”

“Not sick,” she mumbles once Lena is out of earshot, bringing her hands to her cheeks. “Oh wow, my face is warm.”

The raven-haired woman returns with a tympanic thermometer. “Turn.”

Kara complies. There really isn’t much she can say without embarrassing or exposing herself, so she keeps her mouth shut.

The device is pushed gently into her left ear and a beep sounds about a second later. The alien knows by the small frown on Lena’s face her temperature isn’t quite normal.

“Can we try the other ear? The right ear tends to be cooler.”

She shifts the other way with a soft sigh, bracing herself for the inevitable.

“I’m pretty sure you have a fever,” the Luthor frowns, showing her the little screen that displays the temperature. It reads _100°F_.

“I don’t,” she insists, “I just run at a higher temperature than most people.”

“That’s not-”

“Hyperthyroidism,” she blurts, then winces immediately when Lena’s eyes widen, “No, not that. Like, I have a fast metabolism and stuff, and so I just naturally run at a higher temperature.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

Kara just pouts, “Can we not? I’m not sick, I swear. Ooh, let’s go for a walk!”

“It’s cold today.”

“No, it’s not!”

“You have a fever and you only have this little sweater.”

“Lee, I’m gonna be fine, promise. I’ll tell you if I get cold or start feeling unwell.”

She hesitates but grudgingly agrees. After all, who could deny Kara Danvers and her adorable pout?

“You have to put on this sweater though.”

Kara tries her best not to squeal with joy when Lena offers her an MIT hoodie. She slips it on, almost swooning when her nostrils fill with the scent of _Lena_ and her sweet shampoo and perfume.

“Is that too small? I got the biggest one I own,” the dark-haired woman frowns.

“It’s fine,” Kara almost squeaks, her cheeks rosy. She pulls the sleeves over her hands and discreetly tucks her nose into the collar just to breathe in the familiar smell. “Look! Sweater paws!”

Lena just looks amused, but the Kryptonian misses the fond look when she turns her back to head out the door.

By the time they get to the park, about ten minutes away from Lena’s penthouse, it’s _Lena_ who is cold and starts shivering.

She tries to hide it, but Kara notices her teeth chattering almost immediately and is slipping out of the hoodie before Lena can object.

“You need it more than I do!”

“But you have a fever. Aren’t you cold?”

“Nope. Not at all.”

“Huh.” Lena just looks skeptical, eyeing Kara closely for any signs of discomfort.

She twitches under her friend’s analytical gaze as her cheeks blooming red when Lena bites down on her bottom lip.

_Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down._

Thankfully, they begin walking again, Kara is a thin sweater, Lena bundled up in multiple layers.

“How are you not _cold_?” The dark-haired woman wonders.

“I just don’t really get cold.” She shrugs.

“So you don’t get sick and you don’t get cold. What type of alien are you?”

Kara’s heart drops, “Uh, yeah! Well, Alex used to say she thought I was from another planet because, well, I only got sick like one time in the last twelve years and I barely get cold, like, uh, uhm… yeah,” she finishes awkwardly when she realizes she’s making it worse.

“Relax, Kar,” Lena chuckles lowly and her heart freaking _seizes_ at the sultry tone, “It was a joke.”

“Yeah,” she giggles, high-pitched and a little forced, “Yes, it was. Right. Yes.”

“Kara-”

“Is that your phone ringing?”

“No, it- oh wait, it is.” Lena pulls her phone out from the pocket of her jacket, which is under the hoodie. “It’s on vibrate. How’d you hear that?”

Kara shrugs, doing her best to keep her expression and words nonchalant although she’s internally panicking, “Heard something vibrating. You probably didn’t feel it because there was too much clothing.”

“Hm.”

Lena steps away to answer her cell phone, and Kara can’t help but listen in.

_“Hey, Lena!”_

The blonde quickly determines that it’s Sam Arias, the mother of Ruby, and the person running the L-Corp branch in Metropolis after the whole Reign fiasco.

 _“How’s Kara?”_ There’s a strange tone in her tinny voice that the alien doesn’t really understand, but she immediately stops listening, turning to gaze at the bare branches of the trees, acting as inconspicuous as possible.

The moment Lena slips her phone back into her pocket, the hoodie pocket this time, Kara bounces over to her friend, “Problem at L-Corp? Did Sam say something?”

The Luthor’s eyes narrow, “How did you know it was Sam? I don’t think I said who it was.”

The Kryptonian freezes, her brain scrambling to come up with a response, “Oh!” she says way too loudly, “I, uh, saw her contact on the screen when you pulled out your phone.”

“...Right,” Lena says slowly, and Kara knows she doesn’t believe her. She’s prepared to say something else, but they continue their walk under the almost-bare branches of the trees, red, gold, and mostly brown leaves littering the floor.

Occasionally, Kara steps on a leaf with a delighted giggle, reveling in the satisfying crunch underfoot. She almost misses the look of utter adoration on Lena’s face.

“What?” she pauses, foot raised over a shriveled leaf, eyes fixed on it. She’s not sure how to look up into those beautiful green eyes without blushing and stammering like an idiot.

The dark-haired woman shakes herself, “What?”

Kara lets her foot drop, grinning to herself when the leaf crunches, “Why were you looking at me like that?”

There’s a spike in Lena’s heart rate, so suddenly the alien looks up to make sure she hasn’t collapsed.

“Like what?”

She suddenly feels self-conscious for no good reason, and _dammit_ now her heart’s racing, so she just mumbles, “Nevermind.”

She can’t fight the strange feeling that sits simultaneously heavy and light in her chest.

* * *

The next time the two of them have a sleepover, Kara opens the door with a mug of steaming coffee in her hands.

“Hi!”

Lena squints, “Is that coffee?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s like, six pm.”

“I know. I just wanted to drink it for the taste and stuff. Also because it expires, like, tomorrow. Caffeine doesn’t really do anything for me.”

Her friend walks in chuckling, “You have an inhuman metabolism, Kara.”

The superhero freezes, thinking she’s been discovered once again, but Lena just proceeds to set her stuff down by the couch. She squeaks, “I guess.”

They eat Chinese takeout, as usual, and Kara eats two entire orders of potstickers by herself, as usual. She finds herself trying to control the speed of consumption, suddenly worrying that Lena might find it unladylike that she stuffs her face with food.

“Why are you holding back?”

“What do you mean?” she mumbles around a medium-sized bite— well, medium-sized for her.

“You’re not stuffing your face like you usually do.”

Kara sips her coffee to delay answering, “I dunno, uh, I guess I just didn’t feel like it?”

Lena laughs, loud and carefree, one of those rare laughs. It’s different from her usual soft chuckles that last barely a second, and Kara feels her heart swell.

“You don’t have to eat carefully around me. I’m all for you stuffing your face with potstickers. I don’t mind, darling. It’s cute, even.”

The term of endearment along with the “cute” almost makes Kara choke on her mouthful, and her cheeks redden furiously. And then Lena leans towards her with a look of concern and she almost passes out right there.

She gulps down the rest of her coffee to force the half-chewed food down her esophagus so she doesn’t choke on anything else. 

“You know, if you keep drinking coffee like that, the caffeine is eventually going to keep you up.”

“No, it won’t,” she grumbles, pouring herself another mug. She’s all for scalding her tongue with the burning hot liquid, but she literally can’t feel pain, so it doesn’t really do anything.

“Here, give me some. That way you’re not going to be high on caffeine all night.”

Lena has to blow across the surface of her drink to take a small sip.

“How are you drinking it that fast?”

Kara shrugs, “It’s not that hot.”

In actuality, it’s searing hot and she can feel that it’s hot. It just doesn’t hurt her mouth, and she revels in the perks of invulnerability for a moment before she realizes Lena is looking at her curiously again.

“You are a marvel, Kara Danvers.”

She blinks at the tone of Lena’s voice, which shifts into something that makes her gut flutter. It’s a sort of pleasant feeling but it’s novel, and her heart skips a beat.

She just gives Lena a smile, one of those soft smiles that aren’t quite the toothy grin or the quick quirk of the lips. It’s the smile she reserves for Lena Luthor, although she doesn’t need to know that.

In drowning in her own feelings, she barely notices the slight uptick of Lena’s heart rate at the presence of that soft smile.

That night, Lena doesn’t manage to fall asleep while Kara passes out almost immediately. 

“How did the caffeine not affect her?” The Luthor grumbles aloud, tossing in her half of the bed. An elbow strikes Kara in the back, and she freezes, cursing herself for agreeing to sleep in the same bed once again.

 _It’s a big bed,_ Kara had said, _It’s fine, Lena. We can share it._

Now, the Kryptonian wakes up, turning over to squint at Lena, who is rubbing her elbow. 

“What?” Her jaw parts in a sleepy yawn, eyes shutting tightly before relaxing.

Lena commits that to memory.

“Uh, sorry I woke you up.”

Kara glances at the clock, and then at Lena’s frustrated expression, “You haven’t fallen asleep yet?”

“The coffee,” she groans. “I’m going to head outside to the couch so I don’t wake you up. I’ll watch TV or something, and if I fall asleep, I’ll be on the couch.”

She’s not sure if the hurt that flashes across Kara’s face is imagined.

“No, it’s fine! I’ll stay up with you. I don’t need that much sleep anyway. Besides, tomorrow’s Sunday!” The blonde rattles off all her reasons before Lena has a chance to interject.

She tries to argue, but Kara doesn’t let her, and somehow they find themselves on the roof, a soft breeze making the raven-haired woman shiver a little.

“Cold?”

She just shrugs.

The Kryptonian casually shrugs off the sweater she’s wearing and hands it to Lena. “Here.”

“What about you?”

Kara gives her a dazzling smile, the skin between her brows crinkling like she’s in on some secret Lena doesn’t know.

When she’s still cold, Kara just wraps her in a hug from behind, resting her chin on Lena’s shoulder.

The latter has to fight the urge not to push her away, because the way her body reacts startles her.

Kara notices it, the controlled shuddering breaths, the racing heart, but doesn’t question it.

The silence is delicate, and neither of them wants to break it.

And Lena feels more than just _warm_. Her skin is almost burning and her chest is tight with something hot. She takes in another shaky breath and melts back into Kara’s arms.

* * *

Lena wakes up to Kara nursing another cup of coffee, probably the remains from the night before. She’s muttering something under her breath.

_“.,rao, sokahfidh nahn w khuhp i ehrosh ni :divi .,rao, sokaokypzrhiges w khuhp i raogrhys ?” _

“Hey,” Lena steps out into Kara’s line of sight with a little wave. The alien jumps from her spot on the floor beside the coffee table. “What’s that?”

Kara stutters out incoherent sounds, before shaking herself and spitting out an answer, “Just a k- a prayer.”

“What language?”

“Uhm, uh, you don’t know it.”

“I know. What is it?”

“Well…”

“Kara, what planet is it from?”

Full-fledged panic sparks in her cerulean eyes, “I don’t know what you mean,” she laughs nervously, her forehead crinkling.

“You do that crinkle think when you’re lying.”

“What? No. _Pshh_ . I do _not_!” 

“Kara.”

“What?” She says it quieter, a little more resigned.

“I know.”

“Know what?” It’s high-pitched, bordering on hysterical.

“You’re an alien, aren’t you?”

“I- I… yeah.” She hangs her head, trying to hide the relief on her face. _She doesn’t know I’m Supergirl. Thank Rao._

“It’s nothing to be ashamed about.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she whispers almost shamefully.

“No, no, I completely get it.”

“You do?” Kara looks up, hopeful.

Lena nods affirmatively.

“How did you know?”

“That you’re not human?”

“Mhm hm.”

Lena smiles warmly, sitting down crosslegged on the floor next to her best friend, “Well, I didn’t really suspect it until not too long ago, when I thought you had a fever. You really do just run at a higher temperature,” she muses, “It’s kinda nice because you’re like a heater on a cold day. Your home planet was probably warmer than here, was it?”

Kara nods, silently begging her not to ask which planet she’s from because her cover would be blown. Lena would know she’s Supergirl, and would probably hate her for it.

“And then you didn’t get cold. And somehow, you heard my phone vibrating and knew it was Sam although I’m certain you didn’t see the screen before I answered it.” She hesitates before asking, “What did you hear?”

“What? You talking to Sam?”

The Luthor nods. Her pale cheeks are slightly rosy, and she looks flustered; the alien vaguely wonders why.

“Oh, nothing much. I stopped listening after I heard my name. So like, after ten seconds.”

The dark-haired woman visibly deflates, clearly relieved, “Okay. Good. On the topic of names, what’s your real name then? Is it just Kara?”

“Kara Zor-El,” she answers, and her back straightens a little at the words. She’s Kara Zor-El, a citizen of Earth, and now that her best friend knows, everything seems a little lighter.

“Zor-El… your last name?”

“Kind of. My dad’s name. So I guess I’m Kara Zor-El and my real last name is Danvers because we didn’t have surnames back on k- my home planet.”

Lena notices her correction but doesn’t question it.

“And then that night of our sleepover, you drank insane amounts of coffee and still managed to sleep. You said you didn’t need much sleep, and then again, you weren’t cold on that roof, and you looked at me like I was crazy when I suggested it. And then now, you were speaking some foreign language.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t know how I didn’t see it before, though,” Lena frowns, but it’s not a bad frown, “I guess that explains why you never got sick. And the fact you can eat insane amounts of food without gaining a single pound.”

“Yeah,” Kara fidgets with her sleeve, almost accidentally revealing the super-suit beneath her clothes, “I guess.”

“What other superpowers do you have?”

The alien’s head shoots up, “W-what do you mean?”

“Like Supergirl? Y’know… powers? You can hear really well, definitely. And you have a really fast metabolism, which I guess a lot of us Earthlings would count as a superpower. Anything else.”

“N-no,” she stutters, “Nothing else.”

Lena doesn’t question her any further, probably sensing that’s she’s uncomfortable, but she feels guilt settle in her stomach, to be keeping something so big from her best friend.

“Hey.” Lena taps her knee, taking one hand in hers, “I love you, okay? Nothing’s going to change that. Even if you aren’t human.”

Kara almost cries.

“Wait, no, please don’t cry. I’m going to cry, and you know I’m a crybaby.”

Kara chuckles, leaning into Lena’s touch. “I love you, too.” 

The words weigh heavily on her heart, and that’s when she _knows_ . That’s when she realizes _oh shoot, I’m in love with Lena Luthor._

Her heart pounds, and she stares at her friend with wide eyes, her jaw slightly dropped.

“Hey, how do you say “I love you” in your language? What language is it?”

“ _.:zhaoodh khap w rrip,”_ she answers distractedly.

Lena tries it out, mimicking Kara’s sounds, and that’s when the Kryptonian realizes the way she says it.

“Wait! No, that’s not how you say it!” She laughs shakily, “Nope, not at all! It’s _shovuhodh w rraop_ because that’s like the friendly way of saying it, you know? Or if you consider me family, then I guess you say _ukiemodh w rraop_ , but not that first one, definitely not that first one.” A high pitched laugh bursts from her throat, “Yeah, that one’s all formal and stuff like that.”

Lena frowns, her brows furrowing into that concentrating look she takes on when working, and Kara forgets just how smart her best friend is.

“Kara.”

“Yeah?”

“What’s the difference between the last two?” It’s quiet, contemplative.

She releases an unsteady breath, relieved that Lena doesn’t ask her about the first one, “ _ukiem_ is familial love, something you say to family. We say _ukiemodh_ because it’s a verb,” she speaks quickly, almost too fast for the Luthor to keep up. For other people, friends, ourselves, I guess, animate objects that aren’t family and,” she pauses her voice jumps in pitch for a second, “yeah, just family is _shovuh_ , _shovuhodh_ because we turn it into a verb.”

Lena is silent, too silent, and then she gives Kara a long look.

“What’s _w_ and _rraop?_ ” she asks slowly. Kara mentally slaps herself. _Lena has an eidetic memory, right. Oh, Rao._

“ _W_ is just the object particle,” she explains enthusiastically as if it will divert her from the inevitable question. “ _rraop_ means you, the gender-neutral one. You only use the feminine version if it’s super intimate and/or informal, which is _rrip._ ”

She clamps her jaw shut when she realizes she brought up something from the first sentence, and there’s a twitch in Lena’s jaw.

“What’s _khap_?”

“I. The feminine form.”

Kara holds her breath, bracing herself for the unavoidable question.

“So… if I were to say ‘ _.:zhaoodh khap w rrip_ ’ or maybe if I want it to be less intimate _‘.:zhao w rraop_ ’ for ...erotic love? Erotic sounds weird. Uhm, romantic? The Greeks have six words for love and you haven’t mentioned _eros_ or the romantic love just yet. Correct me if I’m mistaken.”

Kara barely nods, her head dipping not even an inch. Her jaw is clenched so tight she feels like she’s going to grind her teeth into dust.

Lena leans back, satisfied. And then slowly, oh-so-slowly, she closes her eyes and turns her body so she’s fully facing Kara, and then kryptonite green meets ocean blue and Kara feels like she can’t breathe.

Her throat closes up and her breath hitches at the eye contact, gazing into Lena’s beautiful, beautiful eyes.

“Well, then, Kara Zor-El Danvers, _:zhaoodh khap w rrip_ ,” she murmurs. It’s a little awkward and the vowels are a little distorted, but it’s right, and the grammar’s right and the pronunciation is right, and it _feels_ right coming out of Lena’s mouth, so, so right, she kisses her.

It’s a little weird, leaning over her crossed legs to kiss her best friend, her crush, her love, her _:zhao,_ but she doesn’t want to stop now. She doesn’t want to pull back and stammer awkwardly over it and watch Lena leave because she was too cowardly to make a move.

She kisses Lena.

She pulls off her glasses, sets it on the coffee table, and presses her lips to Lena’s. For a single terrifying moment, she’s frozen, and Kara begins to panic, but then there’s pressure. There’s Lena, pushing back, kissing her, and nothing’s ever felt so right.

And her chest is warm, and so are her cheeks and her lips and her entire body, buzzing with this warmth that’s better than yellow sun lamps, that’s better than the sun.

Lena’s the first to pull back, completely out of breath; Kara forgets she’s not human, that she doesn’t need oxygen as much as the rest of them do. She’s dizzy, and her eyes are bright and warm and her mind is spinning and

“Oh my God, I just kissed you.”

“So I got it right?” Lena asks hopefully.

“You got it perfect,” she murmurs.

* * *

She’s still feeling the buzz and the warmth from the kiss two days ago when she carries a greasy bag of Big Belly Burger into Lena’s office at L-Corp. The security guard nods at her like usual, and so does Jess, Lena’s assistant. 

Kara’s just about to knock, to pull open the door when she hears a shout from inside, one laced with fear.

“Get back!” Lena’s panicked yell filters through the door, and the superhero just bursts in, not even bothering to get out of her civilian clothes. She drops her precious cargo of burgers and fries onto the table and darts at the man with a gun to the Luthor’s head.

He turns and fires at her; she catches two of the five bullets and the other three rip through her shirt. As the ricochet off her indestructible skin, she reaches out to catch them before they can do damage, but she misses the last one, which strikes the shooter in the shoulder. He drops the gun, and Kara kicks it as far away as possible.

Lena gapes at her, pale eyes open wide, first flickering to the bleeding man on the floor and then to Kara.

“Kara,” she breathes, running up to her.

The dark-haired woman trails her fingers through the holes in her shirt, landing on the bulletproof material of her supersuit.

She hardly dares to breathe as Lena unbuttons her button-up, pulling the sides apart to reveal the emblem of the House of El, the iconic Super symbol.

“Y-you…” 

Kara just blinks, swallows, reaches up to fiddle with her glasses only to realize they’re on the ground feet away.

Lena notices too, gaze moving from the glasses, then to her face, and then to her blonde hair, still tied up.

She doesn’t resist as the Luthor reaches up to pull the rubber band and pins from her hair, running her fingers through it until it hangs in waves over her shoulders.

Lena backs up and takes one look at the glasses on the floor, and it’s enough to make her realize she’s been looking at Supergirl all along.

“Supergirl…” 

“Lena,” she chokes out.

“ _.:zhaoodh khap w rrip,_ ” is the first thing she says, and Kara’s heart skips a beat. “That’s Kryptonian, isn’t it?”

“Kryptahniuo, yes,” she almost whispers, afraid to speak louder as if it’ll break her.

Lena laughs, freaking _laughs_ as if there isn’t a bleeding man groaning on the floor beside them, as if the fact that Kara Danvers is Kara Zor-El, who is actually Supergirl is nothing, just another fact learned on an ordinary day.

“Lena?”

“You- you are truly a marvel, Kara Zor-El Danvers,” she grins, rising up on her toes to kiss her, so tenderly and softly she wants to cry.

“I love you, too,” she whispers against Lena’s perfect, warm smile, looking into her perfect, warm green eyes.

“So, what do we do about this guy?”

Kara just kisses Lena, “I dunno, we’ll probably have J’onn wipe his memory of my… reveal and then throw him in jail for trying to kill you.”

“Great. Can I kiss you again?”

“I should probably call the cops.”

“Ugh, fine.”

They slip into Lena’s private, lead-lined room and steal kisses until the NCPD arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: forgot to mention what the little Kryptonian prayer was
> 
>  _/.,rao, sokahfidh nahn w khuhp i ehrosh ni :divi .,rao, sokaokypzrhiges w khuhp i raogrhys/_ is the prayer used in 3x02, Tremors, but it's like, the grammatically correct way. Melissa says /ehl fidh i ehrosh :divi — ehl kypzrhig i raogrhys/, which just needed a little grammar fixing. /ehl/ means star, but it was replaced with "Rao" because it's their sun's name and also the god she's praying to! It means, "Rao, make my life/journey light. Rao, build my strength."
> 
> edit: i have added this^^ translation to a little hover text by the kryptonese... you're welcome


	7. how lovely yellow is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 7: Yellow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost two hours late... aw man
> 
> also I really didn't know what to do with the prompt so I typed out some bs which honestly doesn't even adhere to the prompt and also this is probably the worst one out of like all of the chapters so excuse me haha I'm stressed
> 
> Chapter Title is a quote by an unknown person.

Lena notices that Kara seems to be drawn to the color yellow. A subconscious or conscious, thing, she doesn’t know, but she loves watching her best friend gaze at sunflowers in equal parts admiration and fascination.

When Valentine’s Day comes by, she debates whether to ask Kara out or not.

_ She’s straight _ , her pessimistic side tells her, _ She’s still in love with Mon-El. _

But the other part of her, the logical, more optimistic side notices the way Kara seems to be drawn to her, something that isn’t quite yellow, the way she looks away quickly when she’s caught looking, that soft smile she seems to reserve just for Lena, the countless ramblings when she gets flustered, the way she fiddles with her glasses and bites her lower lip.

So she goes out and buys a small bouquet of sunflowers and a box of donuts Kara will probably demolish in under ten minutes. She hesitates outside the store for two minutes before darting back in to get an expensive box of chocolates.

She takes a while to contemplate the events of the last game night, analyzing every little reaction to her sad attempts at flirting, ever word that might imply something other than what it first appears as.

_ “I love you, Kara,” she gives a tentative smile, her heart pounding in her chest, each beat like a sledgehammer on her lungs. _

_ “Love you, too, Lee,” the reporter leans into her friend, the words causal and easy. _

_ Over Kara’s shoulder, Lena meets Kelly’s sympathetic gaze. _

_ It takes all she has not to blurt out exactly how she feels right there, in front of Alex and Kelly and J’onn and Brainy and Nia and James. To accept the love Kara has to offer even if it’s not the type of love she so desperately craves. _

She sets down the bouquet of yellow, darting around to check that her penthouse is spotless. Everything is clean and white, the flowers a splash of color in the light room.

When three taps sound on the door, her heart skips a beat and she has to take a shaky breath before opening it.

“Kara, hi!” She puts on a smile, not hard considering it’s  _ Kara _ .

“Hey, Lena!” The blonde charges in, colliding with the raven-haired woman in an enthusiastic embrace, “Ready to spend Valentine’s Day alone together?”

Lena snorts, “Sure.”

“We’re so freaking lonely. It’s like Valentine’s Day was invented specifically to taunt all the single, lonely people out there,” she grumbles.

“Being alone doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lonely,” Lena murmurs.

“That is true. But doesn’t a part of you just want a romantic partner? It’s nice to have someone always there for you, someone you can lean on and kiss after a hard day, you know?”

“I have you,” Lena answers simply. Her face is a mask of nonchalance, but internally, she’s desperately begging Kara to take the hint.

“Aww.” She flashes that single rare smile when her pink lips pull back just enough to reveal white teeth, her blue eyes soft with something that resembles adoration. “I’m glad I have you.”

“Mhm.” Lena shoves down her disappointment, “We can be alone together.”

Kara laughs softly, which is undebatably adorable, at least according to Lena.

“Uh, also,” the dark-haired woman clears her throat a little awkwardly, “I got you sunflowers and donuts and chocolate. Since it’s Valentine’s Day and all, and I just, uh, wanted to…” she trails off, not sure what to say. “yeah,” she finishes lamely.

The blonde gapes at her, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she smiles impossibly wide. “Oh my God, this is amazing! You’re amazing!”

Lena just watches her fondly, gently fingering the tiny yellow petals in fascination before throwing open the dozen of donuts, shoving one in her mouth with a satisfied groan.

“That’s amazing. Lena, you’re amazing.”

“You already said that, darling.” The pet name just slips out, and thankfully Kara doesn’t seem to notice.

The blonde chews enthusiastically on the ring of dough before moving on to the next, crumbs falling over the counter.

“Hey, Kara?”

She swallows the bite in her mouth so fast Lena vaguely wonders if she has super speed. “Hmm?”

“I love you.”

She doesn’t plan to say that, but she’s at a point she can’t hold it back any longer, can’t keep this heavy secret from her friend because it’s forcing her into the ground.

“I love you, too, nerd.”

“No. Like,  _ I love you _ .”

“And  _ I love you, too _ .”

“Kara. Like,” she hesitates, her heart so high and heavy she feels like she’s going to pass out or vomit, “I’m in love with you. I love you.”

“Oh. I love you, too.”

Lena just stares at her, brows slightly furrowed.

The reporter swallows her bite of donut, “Wait. Just to be clear, we’re talking about feelings? Like romantic, I-wanna-date-you  _ I love you _ ?”

She nods speechlessly.

“I love you,” she says simply.

“How can you be so  _ calm _ about this? It’s Valentine’s Day, and you just said we’d be alone together, and I confess that I’m in love with you and have been for years. We’re clear on that part, right?”

Kara chuckles, “I’m in love with you, Lena. It’s a fact. One completely real, truthful fact.” She pauses, “Oh my God, I’m in love with you. And you’re in love with me?” Her voice almost jumps a full octave and her eyes widen comically.

Lena’s face hits her palm. “You’re an idiot. But I love you, so that’s okay.”

Kara’s eyes are wide and all Lena can see is blue blue blue and so she just asks the first thing that comes to mind (because consent is important, kids!), “Can I kiss you?”

And then the blonde hesitates, her eyes suddenly shadowed by something that makes Lena’s stomach twist and her heart drop.

“Kara?”

The reporter takes a deep breath, bracing her hand on the cool marble countertop before speaking, “Before… any of this,” she gestures between the two of them, “can happen. I need to talk to you. I- I need to come clean.”

“Kara, darling, what’s wrong? What do you mean?”

“I- I’m not who you think I am, Lena. You said you’re in love with Kara, but I’m not  _ just _ Kara.”

“W-what do you- I don’t know what you mean.”

She shuts her eyes tightly and exhales shakily, “I’m Supergirl.”

Lena is silent for a long, agonizing moment, “Supergirl. Like…” she mimes flying with a hand, not sure she can even say it out loud.

Kara nods, removing her glasses and unbuttoning her shirt to reveal the super suit underneath. She tugs her hair out of her ponytail, and suddenly, Lena’s looking at Supergirl. In civilian clothes. But she’s actually Kara, Lena’s best friend.

“Lena?”

She mumbles something incoherent, her head spinning.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Mad?” she lets out an amused huff of air, “I’m just wondering how I got fooled by a ponytail and pair of classes.”

Kara shrugs, “People don’t like to think there are literal demigods walking among them, so they just immediately assume I’m human just because I look like one.”

“Mhm.”

The reporter chews on her lip nervously, “I understand if you don’t want… me anymore. It’s just… you love Kara, and I’m not sure you want Supergirl too.”

“Are you crazy?”

“W-what?”

“Did you hear me when I said that I loved you? I’m in love with you, woman. Kara or Supergirl, I’m in love with all of you, and being the savior of the world isn’t going to change that.”

“But you know Kara,” she mumbles sadly, “not Supergirl. Well, not really.”

“But Kara Danvers  _ is _ Supergirl. You say that like I’m just another naive girl with a crush on Supergirl. Supergirl isn’t who you are, darling. It’s what you do. Kara Danvers is who you are, and you might be bulletproof and be invulnerable to acne, but you’re still Kara. You’re still my best friend. Terrible time to say friend. Please ignore that. 

“Point is, you’re Kara. And as I said once, Supergirl may have saved me countless times, but you, Kara Danvers, you are  _ my _ hero. You can’t have Supergirl without having Kara along with it. People want to meet Supergirl so bad, but they walk past Kara Danvers on the street every day without blinking. Because they don’t know  _ you _ , the person behind the whole Super thing. But I do. I know Kara, and I want Kara.”

“R-really?”

“Yes, really, you dork! I just gave you a whole speech, and if that’s not gonna convince you, I don’t know what is.”

Kara blushes.

“What?”

“A kiss,” she whispers shyly.

Lena gives it to her, gladly.

* * *

The Luthor wakes to an empty bed and pads blearily outside to find Kara siting on the floor with a cup of coffee in her hands. Her golden hair seems to reflect the sunlight and glow, and Lena realizes that she’s sitting in the brightest, warmest patch of sunlight.

She almost laughs at how everything clicks together.

_ Kara Danvers is Supergirl. _

The “I flew here… on a bus.” The broken alien detection device. The convenient excuse, “I was getting coffee with Kara Danvers when you called,” at night. The way the plane seemed to land itself even when she did nothing.

Her fascination with yellow. The sun on Krypton was red, a red giant, and a yellow must’ve been so different when she arrived, so  _ alien _ , especially if you considered the fact that it gave her superpowers. Her fascination with sunflowers, and the way she touches them like they remind her of something, and the way her eyes fill with a half-recognition and a nostalgia of sorts. c _ They probably had red sunflowers on Krypton, didn’t they? _

* * *

Lena buys a bunch of red sunflowers and gives them to Kara the next time they have a lunch date.

(Lena will now finally admit that their frequent lunch meetings were dates more than just friends meeting up.)

The dark-haired woman watches in fascination as emotions flash across her girlfriend’s face before her cerulean eyes fill up with tears.

“Lena,” she breathes, “How did you know?”

She shrugs sheepishly, “You’re from Krypton. The sun is red. Also, you seem to really love sunflowers. You’re kinda like them. Drawn to the sun. Well, it does supercharge your cells and give you powers. Wait, does that mean you’re an autotroph?”

Kara frowns, “Uh, I still need to eat food, so I assume not?”

“Huh.”

“You nerd.”

“You love this nerd.”

Kara smiles, that soft, beautiful one again. “Yeah,” she says softly, “I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	8. all you see is the tide going in and out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 8: Beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well... it's 3 am and you probably can tell I absolutely suck at deadlines... also, I apologize if I don't post on Saturday because science olympiad invitationals reeee wish me luck
> 
> also this was supposed to be cute but it turned out idek but here it is anyway:
> 
> Chapter Title from Olive James's "Head Above Water."

Lena squints towards the ocean from where she sits on the dry sand, hand braced over her eyes to block the sun. In knee-deep water, a row of swimmers— National City High’s varsity swim team— stand, feet spread slightly apart, rocking back and forth restlessly.

At the sharp scream of a whistle, the students dive forwards, pulling themselves towards a marker a hundred yards out with strong arms. About thirty swimmers rapidly swim out into the ocean, the water white with foam where their feet come in contact with the water’s surface.

She keeps her eyes fixed on a particular swimmer, her best friend, Kara, in a navy blue swimsuit and red swim cap. Within fifty yards, she’s pulled almost an entire body-length ahead of the rest despite being of average height and female, and Lena shakes her head fondly.  _ Perks of having almost photosynthetic cells, I guess. _

The leading swimmer cuts diagonally, heading towards a floating buoy, where she maneuvers into a flip-turn so fast Lena almost misses it. She resurfaces with calm strokes, head low and elbows high, her form perfect. 

On days where there was no swim practice, or after swim practice, if she still had energy, Lena would accompany Kara to the pool to critique her stroke. She wasn’t a fan of water, but her best friend was. So Lena stayed out of the pool, and she watched YouTube videos and read books about form and technique in order to give Kara some much-needed pointers, calling out small things she needed to fix, like to lower her head or pull closer to her body.

And being an alien with superhearing, she always heard through the water.

The dark-haired girl watches in fascination as Kara weaves between the swimmers still headed towards the buoys that mark a hundred yards from the starting point, stroke near flawless except for the smallest moments of imbalance when she’s almost slapped by a wild hand from other swimmers.

Kara easily beats everyone, climbing out of the water barely breathless, but faking it for the sake of all the humans that don’t have superpowers.

Her smile is radiant, and the ocean water runs off her pale body in rivulets, gleaming droplets dripping off her hair.

Lena doesn’t realize she’s already running down the slope towards Kara, her stomach twisting uneasily when her feet hit damp sand.

Kara seems to notice, and dashes towards her friend, so they’re standing on somewhat dry sand, a very safe distance from the ocean Lena is decidedly terrified of.

“So, how was I?” the blonde asks, flashing a toothy grin that almost has Lena squinting with the brightness of it.

“You totally cheated,” Lena rolls her eyes, “You can’t tell me you didn’t use your super strength.”

“I can’t help it!” Kara protests, “I’m a solar-powered alien.”

“Tell me you at least didn’t fly through the water a little after that superspeed flip-turn.”

The superpowered girl gapes, indignant, “I did not!”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really! I can’t help my amazing muscles, but I didn’t voluntarily fly in streamline.”

“Amazing muscles,” Lena coughs, eyes already flickering over to her friend’s muscled body.

The swimsuit wasn’t even that revealing; it was a classic one-piece meet suit, navy blue and covered from Kara’s upper chest to hips, but it did nothing to cover her toned arms and legs and the faint outline of her abs (of steel, literally). She bites her lip subconsciously as her eyes wander to the arm that Kara flexes playfully, muscle shifting beneath the impenetrable skin.

Luckily for her (and her gayness), Kara doesn’t notice the slightly slack-jawed stare Lena is giving her because  _ holy shit _ , Kara is beautiful and her flawless body doesn’t help matters. Oh, and also, Lena’s been in love with her since they were eight.

They’re eighteen now, celebrating the final days of high school with a trip to the beach with the entire senior class of 2008, and Lena’s just glad she brought sunglasses, so she isn’t caught staring. At least if Kara doesn’t use her x-ray vision.

Kara plops down onto the towels they had laid out earlier, soaking in the gentle rays of sun with an easy smile, eyes closed.

“You did good,” Lena admits, sitting down next to her friend, careful to keep enough distance between them so she doesn’t become a stuttering mess when she accidentally brushes her or something.

The alien grins, “I’d give you a hug right now, but,” she gestures to the droplets still clinging to her perfect skin.

The raven-haired girl rolls her eyes, not thinking when she reaches over and says, “I don’t care.”

She falls into the strong embrace of her best friend, the cold water soaking through her shirt for a single refreshing second before the warmth of Kara’s bare skin on her own registers. 

She freezes, her cheeks flaming red, and it occurs to her that she’s about two and a half layers away from meeting her best friend, skin-to-skin.

_ No! Bad Lena! Don’t think these thoughts! _

But Kara melts into it, her chin light on Lena’s shoulder and she just doesn’t want to pull away despite the fact her heart is racing in her chest and she’s 98% sure Kara can feel it, and if she can’t, then she can definitely hear it.

“Lee?”

“Yeah?”

“You okay?” Kara pulls back, hands still on her shoulders, “Your heart’s racing like crazy, and your face is really flushed.’

Yup. She was right.

She croaks out an answer that resembles a  _ yeah, of course _ , and plays with the wet spots on her sleeveless shirt.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Lena dismisses as breezily as possible, “You know me. I have two shades. Super white and lobster. I’m probably burning right now, so maybe I should put on, y’know, sunscreen.”

She’s not sure when she and Kara switched places and she became a rambling nervous mess that is nowhere near as adorable as when Kara does it.

_ Since I realized I’m probably in love with her.  _

She grabs a bottle from her bag, squeezing a dollop onto her fingers to rub into the parts of exposed skin she can reach...

“Hey, Kar, can you get my shoulders and back?”

Mistake. Terrible, terrible mistake because the second the Kryptonian’s palms touch her back, she leans into it instinctively before she realizes what she’s doing. And when she does, she almost jumps away, cheeks flaring red and heart beating so rapidly in her throat she’s surprised it hasn’t jumped out of her mouth and splattered on the sand yet.

“Lena?”

“Y-yeah?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

“Your heart rate spiked.”

_ Maybe because you’re touching me, and my body has this stupid reaction whenever you touch me because I’m probably in love with you. _

“W-what?”

Lena buries her bright red face in her arms, “I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Well, it was kind of a mumble.”

“You have superhearing.”

“...Yeah.”

They’re silent for one terribly awkward moment before Lena speaks up.

“I’m sorry.”

“What? Why?”

“Because of what I said. You know, the I’m in love with you and all that.”

“Lee, how can you apologize for feelings you have no control over? That’s dumb.”

She notices how Kara doesn’t say anything in response to her unintended confession, and her shoulders drop just like her heart does.

“I guess.”

“Actually, I should be thanking you.”

“What?”

“Um, well, how do I say this? Let’s just say I was planning on never telling you how I felt because I was pretty sure you didn’t return my feelings until-”

“Hold up,” Lena interrupts, her heart back in her throat, “Feelings?”

“Yeah, uh, let me finish? I, uh, I… um, well…”

Lena raises her eyebrows.

“I’m trying to ask you out, goddammit,” she just blurts, and the black-haired girl just blinks silently in the five seconds it takes for the seven words to hit her.

“Oh! Oh, wow, uhm, yes! I mean, yeah, I’d love to go out with you.”

“Thank Rao.”

Lena snorts in amusement at her Kara’s visible relief, “Did you think I’d seriously say no after saying I’m in love with you?”

She smiles sheepishly, “Yeah, well, you’re my best friend, so that complicates things.”

“True. But I love you, and there’s nothing more I want than to be your girlfriend.”

Kara’s face freaking  _ melts _ and the sheepish grin is replaced by one that’s much softer.

Lena pauses, “Is that okay? Did I assume too much by saying girlfriend?”

The blonde kisses her on the cheek, “No, of course not. I- I’d really love that.”

Her traitor of a mouth goes, “You missed.”

Kara frowns, clearly confused.

And then Lena just leans in and plants a kiss on her lips.

The swimmer’s jaw drops, and her eyes glaze over slightly, and even though it’s one chaste kiss, her next breath is ragged.

“Oh.”

“I hope that was okay.”

“Y-yeah, of- of course. Yes. That was amazing. I, uh, yes, wow!”

Lena just laughs adoringly, reaching out to intertwine Kara’s fingers with hers. Maybe she’s just a lovesick teenager who reads too many romance novels and fanfiction, but she just feels like her hand fits perfectly in Kara, like two pieces of a puzzle snapping together, and it’s perfect.

***

It’s about seven pm when the students start taking pictures of the sunset with disposable cameras and flip phones, probably to post on Facebook or something.

Kara tugs on Lena’s hand, her head resting on her shoulder, “I wanna take a picture. Can we go down to the water?”

Lena hesitates, the old fear bubbling up from her stomach once again.

The blonde notices her expression, “We don’t have to if you don’t want.”

She thinks about it. She does kind of really want a picture to think back on this day…

“No, it’s fine.”

Kara brightens, her eyes wide and hopeful, “Really?”

“Yeah.”

Hand in hand, they slowly near the edge of the waves, the sand growing denser underfoot as it gets wetter.

The soggy ground under her bare feet is pleasantly cold, and she shivers, when they walk alongside the ocean, just far enough so the furthest waves don’t touch their feet.

Kara calls over James, widely known as the yearbook photographer, but also one of Kara’s best friends and one more guy who’s had a crush on her. He takes a look at their joined hands and smirks, but both of them are in too good a mood to say anything.

The dark-skinned boy snaps a couple of pictures of the setting sun with his camera, before turning his lens onto the two girls. They smile radiantly and in an instant, they’re forever frozen in time in the single snapshot.

Asking James to send her the pictures next week, Kara tugs Lena a little closer towards the ocean. She follows hesitantly, her stomach churning with unease.

“Kara…” She tugs back a little bit.

“Lee, c’mon. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“My mom drowned when I was four,” she blurts. “That’s how she died. And that’s why I was adopted by Lillian and why I’m terrified of water. I watched her drown, Kara. I watched her struggle and take a final breath and go under and I just stood there and watched her die.”

The alien’s eyes fill with sorrow, “Oh, Lena. You didn’t have to tell me.” In the thirteen years they’d known each other, it was the one subject Lena had refused to speak about, her mouth closing and her eyes darkening when someone brought it up.

“I wanted to,” she whispers.

And then an icy wave touches Lena’s toes when she’s not paying attention, and she jumps backward, her heart pounding erratically.

Kara hears it, of course she does with her superhearing, and turns to face Lena, placing a reassuring palm on her upper chest. She leans in slowly, giving the other girl plenty of time to pull away, but she doesn’t, so Kara kisses her soundly, sliding her and up so it cups the shorter girl’s cheek.

She doesn’t have much experience with kissing, and she sucks at it, but kissing Lena just feels so  _ normal _ and so  _ right _ she doesn’t even have to try before they’re borderline making out and the darker-haired girl barely notices when a wave washes over her feet.

“Trust me, okay?”

With a shaky breath, partly from fear and mostly from the kiss, Lena nods, her fingers tightening its grip on her Kara’s hand.

“Why are you scared of the ocean?”

“Because my mom drowned,” she says simply. Her gut wrenches, but it’s liberating to say the words.

“So you’re scared that it’s going to hurt you?”

“Not quite,” she whispers, pale green eyes finding Kara’s ocean eyes. “I don’t know what’s down there. I don’t know what it’s capable of, and my first impression of it was… that.”

“Well, there’s nothing to be afraid of, Lena. There’s no need to fear the unknown. And besides, I’ll always protect you, remember?”

She nods breathlessly, gazing into Kara’s eyes, so warm and sincere, the color of the ocean, “Your eyes are the same color.”

“As?”

“The waves. The ocean. It’s unnerving.” 

“Oh. Do you… not like them?” There’s an obviously masked hurt pushing beneath the carefully calm tone.

“No,” Lena breathes, “I love them. But it’s so terrifying. They’re so blue…”

Kara’s eyelids flutter as the other girl runs a thumb carefully over her cheekbone.

“You have no idea what they- what you do to me, you know?”

A wave tickles Lena’s feet, foam washing lightly over her toes. She doesn’t move.

She puts her arms around Kara’s neck, tucking her head into her chest, and watches the waves caress her feet.

Kara wraps her arms firmly around Lena’s waist, and the unease in her stomach evaporates, replaced by a feeling of safety, of knowing that Kara’s going to be there and protect her no matter what.

She feels like she’s flying. And not just because they’re hovering a centimeter above the ground.

When Kara gives Lena a copy of the pictures James took on the beach about a week later, she gazes at them until her heart is happy, clutches them to her chest, and  _ smiles _ . 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, i tried. sorta. it's freaking 3 am... so i'd really appreciate if you could point out any typos or grammar errors if you catch any!
> 
> <3


	9. it's a luthor she falls in love with

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 9: Luthor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okayokayokay so it's 2am and I have a huge competition tomorrow and I'm screwed because I'm not asleep yet so please excuse any mistakes and the bad writing because I was rushing asldfsjlfkajs

Kara’s never really had very good experiences with Luthors.

After all, it’s a Luthor who discovers how to make kryptonite, the one substance Kryptonians like her and Kal are vulnerable to in the yellow sun.

It’s a Luthor who figures out how to pulverize kryptonite into such fine dust it can fill the atmosphere with the radioactive substance.

It’s a Luthor who kidnaps one of her best friends, James Olsen and tortures him for information on Superman, leaving him with unforgettable trauma and sixteen scars to show for it.

It’s a Luthor who turns the sun red in an effort to kill Superman, Kara’s only cousin, and one of the last two surviving Kryptonians. 

It’s a Luthor who steals her adoptive father away from her.

It’s a Luthor who creates Metallo, an invulnerable man with a kryptonite heart designed for the sole purpose of hurting and ultimately murdering Kryptonians.

It’s a Luthor who kidnaps Mon-el and shoots him with a lead bullet that leaves him incapacitated.

It’s a Luthor who forces her to solar flare and then steals her blood so they can infiltrate the only piece of Krypton left, the Fortress of Solitude.

It’s a Luthor who steals a virus engineered to kill all aliens and releases it into the atmosphere.

It’s a Luthor who forcibly deports hundreds of aliens and leaves Kara to stop the flying ship from shooting to the other side of the universe in the blink of an eye.

It’s a Luthor who weaponizes her unintentionally-made clone and destroys her reputation in the blink of an eye.

It’s a Luthor who almost kills James,  _ again _ , sending Eve to shoot him.

It’s a Luthor who rewrites destiny and takes the place of Earth-96’s Superman.

It’s a Luthor who really, finally orders the death of Jeremiah Danvers.

It’s a Luthor who is willing to let a god slaughter half the human population of Earth to be considered a hero.

It’s a Luthor who sends a Morae into the Fortress of Solitude and releases the sun-eater that almost destroys the sun.

It’s a Luthor who teleports into the Fortress and steals kryptonite rings, capable of incapacitating a Kryptonian with just a flick.

But it’s also a Luthor who makes Kara an anti-kryptonite suit.

And it’s a Luthor who saves Alex from Corben.

It’s a Luthor who renders the Medusa inert by giving her mother the wrong isotope.

It’s a Luthor who  _ saves _ James by injecting him with the Harun-el.

It’s a Luthor who agrees to fly to Kasnia with her to investigate Lex.

It’s a Luthor who helps her stop Leviathan by creating another anti-kryptonite suit.

And it’s a Luthor that Kara in love with.

* * *

It takes Kara a long time— four years, actually— to realize it.

She doesn’t recognize the spike in her heart rate as attraction when she speaks to Lena for the first time, the dark-haired woman all serious frowns, and  _ What about you, Miss Danvers? _

She doesn’t recognize the way her lips would naturally quirk up as joy, not when she tries to talk Lena out of the renaming ceremony, or selling the alien detection device.

She doesn’t recognize the ticklish flutter in her stomach as butterflies when Lena calls her  _ Kara _ for the first time when complimenting the reporter on her flattering article, all businesswoman and seriousness replaced with flirty glances and warm smiles.

She doesn’t recognize the rush she gets simply by  _ thinking  _ about Lena as a crush, no, not when Lena bites her lip and asks her to attend her gala with her.

She doesn’t recognize the swell of her chest when Lena almost single-handedly saves the gala and catches the bad guys as pride, not even when she leans in with an almost flirtatious smile and goes _Who would’ve believed it?_ _A Luthor and a Super working together_ , not even when she tilts her head, gaze intense murmurs lowly, _Kara Danvers, you are my hero._

She doesn’t recognize the way her heart drops when Cyborg Superman hurls the L-Corp logo at Lena as more than the typical terror when a civilian is being attacked, not even when she hears her breathless  _ get back! _ followed by her terrified scream when she plunges off the balcony.

She doesn’t recognize her rapid heartbeat as adrenaline, as a relief so strong she slumps to the floor when she gets home, hands shaking.

She doesn’t recognize the involuntary smile as more than friendship, more than platonic, edging to  _ head-over-heels in love _ when Lena takes one look at her in the hospital’s lobby and rushes at her, enveloping her in a hug so tight, but so so comforting. Like home. And Lena goes  _ Thank God you’re okay, _ and all Kara can think is,  _ Thank Rao you’re here. _

She doesn’t recognize the warmth in her cheeks as admiration, nor the whole feeling in her chest as adoration, nor does she realize that  _ Lena Luthor _ never really leaves her head. Sure, she’s pushed to the back, but the reason she does  _ this _ is Lena Luthor, and the ulterior motive for  _ that _ is Lena Luthor.

Kara figures it out just after she figures out that Lena, in actuality, despises her.

It takes her about a day, ten hours, and twenty-four minutes to realize she misses Lena, and a day, ten hours, twenty-four minutes, and one second to realize she hates it.

She hates that, despite stealing Myriad and then refusing to accept her apology, she still wants to be her  _ friend _ , wants to be with her.

Lena’s at the forefront of her mind all the time now. When she’s rescuing a kitten from a tree, when she blows out a fire with her freeze breath when she’s stopping an armed bank robbery.

It takes her a bit more time to accept that Lena doesn’t want anything to do with her, that she hates her for betraying her.

Then pain blossoms in Kara’s chest, so sudden and crippling, she crumples into her couch and tears slip from her tightly closed eyes, hands clutched over her chest, gasping for air she can’t quite get. 

And  _ oh, _ it’s so much worse than losing Mon-el, so much worse than losing her father and mother and aunt and uncle and her entire goddamn planet. She’s heartbroken. And it sure feels like it. Her chest like her heart’s been shattered, and the shards pierce her lungs and flesh with every breath.

And  _ that’s  _ when she knows. 

When she knows she’s been in love with Lena Kieran Luthor for four years and she ruined her chances with her just because she didn’t want her to get caught in the crossfire. Kara had been naive to pretend her last name wasn’t there because it definitely was, and it more than  _ was _ , it put a target on her back.  _ Luthor _ would always connect her to Earth’s most notorious alien hater and murder, to Cadmus's leader and the person who tried to kill Superman. Even her little relationship with Supergirl had ensured that she would get caught in the crossfire, and still, Kara didn’t say a word.

She cries for two days, glumly asking J’onn to take over superheroing duties for a few days.

She manages to push herself to her feet, somehow. She stumbles more than usual, the light in her eyes dim and the smiles fake.

Sometimes, she flies past L-Corp just to catch a glimpse of Lena working late. Sometimes (meaning all the time), she tunes into Lena’s heartbeat, slow and steady and calm, and it’s what she falls asleep to every night, knowing Lena is okay.

And then one day, out of nowhere, Lena shows up at her loft.

Kara absolutely  _ hates _ the way her breath catches in her throat, the way her heartbeat speeds up, the way her stomach flutters almost violently at the sight of her ex-best friend.

She almost sobs. She wants to hate her, she wants to scream at her, to curse at her for abandoning her like that, for betraying her and hurting her beyond repair.

But she can’t.

And Lena stammers out an apology and Kara wants to yell, to say no, to tell her that she doesn’t get a second chance, no, not after what she’s done.

She hates that she still loves Lena more than she’s ever loved anyone, and she hates that fact that more than anything, she wants to kiss her.

_ Fuck these human feelings. Maybe I don’t deserve to be a superhero, not when I’m driven by more than just a desire to help people. _

So she runs. She bursts through her window without bothering to opening it, the shards ricocheting off her impenetrable skin. A part of her wishes the glass would just break the skin, and beads of blood would come through.

She flies, ignoring the several windows that shatter when she speeds past. She darts into the alien bar and steals a glass of Aldebaran rum, the one thing that can make her lose her mind, make her  _ forget, _ and just downs it straight from the bottle.

It’s like drinking lighter fluid; it burns down her throat and she hacks violently into the crook of her elbow. The effect is almost immediate.

At the edge of the roof of L-Corp, she wobbles slightly, so she sits down, letting her legs dangle carelessly over the edge of the skyscraper, gulping another mouthful of the rum straight from the glass.

It takes about ten minutes for Lena to show up, having chased her from her loft.

“Kara?”

She doesn’t turn around. The world swims under her gaze, and the skies blur with the buildings and the buildings the ground, and she’s numb and free and  _ human _ .

She hears the slight scrape of glass as Lena picks up the container to move it.

“You better not drink that,” she slurs, “It’ll kill you. It’s toxic for humans.” She pauses, clearly deep in thought, “I wish I were human. Then I could have these feelings without feeling like I’m not worth it. Then it’d kill me.”

Lena’s eyebrows shoot up, “Kara! You don’t mean that! You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

She spins around, the world spinning with her. She teeters precariously on the edge of the roof before letting herself fall over and plummet about forty stories before she drunkenly floats back to the roof to a horrified Lena.

“Wha- What do you want, Lena?” she mumbles, her knees buckling when she tries to take a step forward. The dark-haired woman takes the Kryptonian gently in her arms, holding her upright.

“I want to apologize. I- I’m so sorry for what I did to hurt you. You hurt me, and- and I guess I just did what I always did when people hurt me. I built a wall and suffocated behind it.”

“You sure did,” Kara drawls, her head falling on Lena’s shoulder. 

They’re silent save for the sound of Kara’s shoes shuffling on the concrete.

“Did you fly here in civilian clothes? People could’ve seen you!” Lena chastises.

“Yup! I don’t care. Why do you care? You hate me.”

Lena swallows heavily, “I don’t hate you, Kara. Believe me, I tried to. I tried to, day after day after day, and I couldn’t hate you.”

“Supergirl is dead.”

“What?”

“Supergirl is gone. I killed her. Bye-bye, Supergirl.”

“What? Why?”

“Because she took you away from me,” she says simply, and if it weren’t for the slight slur, Lena would’ve thought she was sober.

She bites back a sob, and guides Kara towards the door, the superhero slowly straightening and regaining strength as her inhuman metabolism begins to absorb the alcohol.

Lena brings the intoxicated Kara to her penthouse, which is considerably closer than Kara’s loft. She guides her over to the king-sized bed and climbs in next to her friend, falling asleep to the soft snores.

* * *

Kara wakes with a slight headache that only worsens when she sits up, realizing with a jolt she’s not in her bedroom.

“Kara. You’re awake.”

“Why am I here?” her voice is raspy, broken. A wave of emotion overwhelms her before Lena even answers.

The black-haired woman explains the events of yesterday, her eyes downcast, apologies practically punctuating each sentence.

Kara listens, almost hating how the butterflies in her stomach have awoken, how she can’t take her eyes of Lena’s pale green ones.

Lena finishes awkwardly, fiddling with her fingers while she waits impatiently for Kara’s response.

The blonde looks up, and she feels… better. Her heart feels considerably lighter and her eyes can’t help but wander to Lena.

“I’m sorry,” she just whispers. 

“ _ I’m _ sorry,” Lena sits down on the bed beside Kara.

She scoffs, “I hurt you.”

“I hurt you, too.”

“Only because I hurt you.”

Lena takes one of Kara’s hands between her own. Neither of them speaks for a long moment.

“I love you.”

The shorter woman blinks several times as if trying to comprehend the three small words.

“I tried to stop. I really did. But it turns out you can’t stop loving someone, especially if you’re in love with them.”

“Kara…”

“It’s fine if you don’t feel the same.”

“I love you, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

They speak in hushed tones as if speaking any louder will shatter both of them.

“Hold me?” the alien pleads, laying back down.

“Of course,” the human answers, wrapping her arms around Kara, sighing contentedly when she buries her face in her chest.

Kara’s still broken. A little tape isn’t going to fix that. They’re going to have to talk it out and learn from their mistakes and start over, learn from the beginning, take baby steps. Lena’s broken too. It’s going to take some time to heal from the self-inflicted wounds and the wounds they gouged in each other, but they’re going to do it together.

So Lena just holds her and whispers to her about  _ kintsugi _ , the art of fixing broken things with gold. How the Japanese didn’t discard broken pottery and instead repaired them with gold. That maybe the only way to grow, to get stronger is to shatter so that  _ the one _ will be there to pick up the pieces and repair them with gold, making it more valuable than it started off as.

How by embracing imperfection, you bring out beauty and art, and so Lena whispers in Kara’s ear,  _ darling, you’re a work of art. I love you to the ever-expanding universe and back. _

And it’s  _ this  _ Luthor that Kara falls in love with, her best friend, her world, her universe, her everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> despite being very rushed and not so well written, I think this is one of my favorites so far...
> 
> the end scene where kara flees to the roof of l-corp after lena tries to apologize is inspired by [LavenderMandarin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderMandarin/pseuds/LavenderMandarin)'s [broken ribs and kryptonite can’t match up to this (but maybe you can get rid of this pain)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26917720). if you haven't already, go check out her fic and account because she's an amazing writer!! <3


	10. my baby's in town and we're gonna do some winter things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Lena is tossing snowballs at Kara’s window, not knowing the window is open and has no screen.
> 
> Day 10: Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little kryptonese is used in this chapter, which I've basically written as a mini kryptahniuo class taught by kara, but whatever. all translations are in the end notes.
> 
> also it's um 3 am and i shouldn't be awake after sleeping at 2 last night then waking up at 7 for science olympiad al;skfjas;df so i'd really appreciate if you could point out any mistakes
> 
> Chapter Title from Ariana Grande's "Winter Things."

Lena inhales deeply, the cold air stinging her throat almost pleasantly. The air is fresh, and the stars shine vividly in the absence of light pollution, small flecks of light in the canvas of black. It’s an almost moonless night, the celestial body barely a sliver of white against the dark, but the little light it emits still illuminates her figure and the white snow that blankets the entire town of Midvale.

She pads lightly over the surface of white, her boots sinking in the several inches of the powder that currently rains down in flakes so small she doesn’t really notice until a faint white dusting covers her shoulders like dandruff.

She comes to a stop under Kara’s bedroom window, the one she shares with Alex, and bends down to pick up a small pebble at her feet. Her gloved hands struggle to grasp it for a second, her opposable thumbs awkward and stiff in the restraining gloves.

Lena hefts the small stone in her palm, tossing it and catching a few times, preparing to throw it softly at the window by Kara’s bed. She chucks it, but it falls short, striking a metal pipe on its way down, and she winces at the _clang_ that’s almost deafening in the silence of the night.

Upon consideration, she decides to throw some snow instead, packing together a small and delicate ball in her gloves. She breathes a little hot air so it doesn’t crumble into its powder form and throws it upwards in the general direction of her friend’s bedroom window.

From her angle, she’s not quite sure if she hits it, but a little snow comes raining down on top of her beanie, so she assumes she does. There’s no detectable movement from inside, so she backs up and forms another snowball, condensing the snow into a more holdable snowball, using her breath to melt the snow until it’s almost an ice ball.

Just perfect to alert a girl with inhuman senses and not her human sister.

She hurls it at the window, eyes following the trajectory as it flies upwards towards the window. And it-

It doesn’t shatter on impact. She watches in horror as it goes sailing right through the _open_ window.

Lena brings a damp glove to her mouth, her cheeks now more than just flushed from the cold.

It takes about for an exasperated Kara to poke her head out the open window, letting out a disbelieving laugh when she catches sight of a horrified Lena. Her blonde hair is slightly tangled from sleep with chunks of ice and snow hanging off of it.

She gestures to her friend to _wait a minute_ before disappearing inside for a minute before her face pops back up at the window. Kara’s completely bundled up in snow gear (despite the fact that she doesn’t get cold), a knitted beanie tugged snugly over her light hair.

The alien looks around to make sure no one’s watching before she steps out her window onto a seemingly invisible surface. She hovers there, pulling the window until only a small crack keeps it from being shut all the way. Kara drifts the ground, landing sturdily with both feet.

“What took you so long?” Lena complains.

Kara just faces her with an incredulous look, “You threw a snowball and then an iceball through my window at one in the morning.”

The Luthor raises her hands, “I didn’t know the window was open.”

“Well, it was,” she huffs, “and I had to clean that up before it melted and then change into snow clothes. It still takes about a minute even with super speed.”

“You don’t even get cold.”

“But I like it!” Kara claps her mittened hands together, wiggling her shoulders happily in her layers of clothing. “It is really warm.”

Lena has to admit that Kara looks undeniably adorable all bundled up like that.

“So, why are you here?”

She’s suddenly a little bewildered and self-conscious. _Why am I here?_ “I don’t know, actually,” she answers truthfully. “I couldn’t sleep, so I went out, and then I guess I wanted to see you, so I came here.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to go into the forest?”

“Yeah, sure. Give me more Kryptahniuo lessons?”

“Yes! You have to teach me more English!”

Lena rolls her eyes, “Kara. You are completely fluent in English and it took you, like, two months, which is incredibly impressive considering it’s one of the hardest languages.”

“You say I do not speak naturally.”

She has to suppress another eye roll, “Yes, because we speak using contractions and sentence fragments. Surely in your two years on Earth, you’ve realized that people don’t go around saying ‘it is’ when we can just say ‘it’s.’”

“ _.nahn iovis w kuva ?, _” she grumbles.

“No, it’s not stupid. It makes talking so much easier.” She pauses, “ _kuva_ means stupid, right?”

“Yes.”

“No one has spoken that formal for, like, hundreds of years, Kara. If you want to blend in, you’re going to have to start talking like us. Thank God you got the American accent. So I’ll teach you slang and nonstandard, informal variations of words, and you continue to teach me Kryptonian.”

“Fine.”

“Great, let’s go.”

“Want to fly?”

“Say ‘wanna.’”

“Wanna fly?”

“There you go. And… sure. Just go slow.”

Kara grins and wraps her arms tightly around Lena’s waist, waiting for the latter’s permission to take off. She frowns slightly when she hears her friend’s heart beat a little faster.

She hesitates when Lena gives her a nod, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Your heart rate just increased.”

That statement seems to do just that to Lena’s heart rate once more, and Kara leans backward to look at her friend’s face. Even in the low light, she sees a faint flush coloring in her cheeks and neck.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, Kara,” she says impatiently, “Just epinephrine.”

“Adrenaline?”

_Of course she knows that._

“Sure. Now, let’s fly.”

“Okay.”

Lena secures her arms around Kara’s neck, tucking her face into her shoulder as their feet lift off the ground.

Slowly, they float over the small town and towards Midvale High, closer to the thousands of conifer trees that make up the small forest.

After several minutes, Lena lifts her head just a bit. The chilly breeze lifts her hair from her shoulders and cools the burning of her cheeks (from the proximity, she assumes). She looks _up_ , and for once, she’s not afraid of flying, of hovering a thousand feet above sea level with nothing under to support her. She feels _safe_ because she trusts that Kara’s not going to drop her.

And maybe because it’s now she realizes that she’s found a home in Kara’s arms and is not sure if she ever wants to leave.

Kara peers carefully at Lena throughout the short flight, every muscle in her body alert for signs of discomfort, eyes fixed intently on her face just to see the slight fear morph into fascination.

She finds it disconcerting now that the Luthor’s heart rate has slowed, hers has sped up slightly to match it. The more she pays attention to it, the more obvious it becomes their hearts are beating in time, and she frowns, slightly bewildered. _What a strange phenomenon._

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Lena suddenly croaks.

“Like what?” Kara’s face heats up slightly, and she looks away, suddenly self-conscious.

“LIke… that.”

“Just making sure you are okay, that is all,” she murmurs.

Lena’s slight disappointment at that statement is almost palpable, and she frowns to herself once more. Had Lena wanted to hear something else?

“That’s,” Lena mutters, “No one says ‘that is.’”

“Oh.”

When their feet finally hit the solid ground in the midst of towering trees, the dark-haired girl doesn’t move. She closes her eyes and tries to commit the feeling of Kara holding her to memory.

“Lee? Are you going to let go?”

She steps back hastily, disappointment dropping in her stomach like a rock. “Right.” She clears her throat, “So, what do you have to teach me?”

“What do you want to learn?”

“I dunno, how to count past ten?”

“Okay.”

She rattles off a list of numbers up to twenty, explaining that the Earth number system is backward only for Lena to interrupt with mock-indignance that it’s the Kryptonians who screwed up place value.

“That truly is _kuva_ ,” she sighs, “So if I were to say that I’m fifteen years old, I’d write 51? In terms of Earth numbers, at least.”

“Yeah.”

“So…” Lena’s tongue pokes out between her lips as she recalls the numbers Kara just recited, her near-eidetic memory making it easier. “. _nahn khuhp w suzhahv :zehtol ?_… did I get the word order right?”

Kara nods enthusiastically, “Perfect!”

“You say it. I wanna hear what it’s supposed to sound like without the accent.”

The alien frowns, “I don’t know how old I am. Chronologically, I should be about thirty-nine years old. Biologically, I am about fifteen.”

Lena feels a pang for her best friend at that, knowing she’ll never be able to even imagine what Kara has gone through in the past two and a half decades. “Fifteen, then. Would thirty-nine in Kryptahniuo be _rraozh...non_ ? _rraozhon ?? _”

“Yes. Or do I say ‘yup?’”

“Yup!”

Her eyebrows stitch together, “‘Yup’ as in I say ‘yup,’ or ‘yup’ as in yes, I say… that does not make sense.”

“Doesn’t.”

“Right. Doesn’t.”

Lena laughs at her confusion, and it doesn’t take long before Kara’s grinning along with her.

“English is confusing,” Kara says thoughtfully, “Other languages you have taught me, like Spanish, are easier because the verb forms and tenses have a Kryptonian equivalent... and also conjugations.”

“True.”

The two quietly discuss the differences between their native languages. The crinkle sometimes appears between Kara’s eyebrows in confusion, and Lena will spout a few phrases in the several other languages she knows in order to find a sufficient Kryptonian equivalent. Lena complains about the vocative particle used before a vocative, whereas in English, a simple comma is used.

Kara then goes on to frown once more and explain that commas are only used in Kryptonese to mark the beginning and end a proper noun in place of spaces, and Lena just sighs, taking mental notes.

It’s about four am when the chatter ceases and the Kryptonian jumps up, “Wanna build a snowman?”

Lena beams proudly.

“What?”

“You said ‘wanna.’”

“I did,” Kara responds amusedly, before directing her heat vision into the powdery snow so they can pack it into balls.

Lena grabs a handful of wetter snow and packs it into a ball. When it gets too heavy for her to hold in her gloves, drops it and builds on top of it.

The Kryptonian eagerly helps, eyes sparkling and lips smiling as she pats snow into shapes.

It only takes them about ten minutes to use the three inches of snow around them and expose the solid ice underneath.

“It’s ice,” Kara observes, knocking on it.

“Astute observation.”

The blonde rolls her eyes, but there’s an easy grin on her lips.

She runs her fingers along the smooth surface before digging her fingers in and pulling out a small chunk like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “It reminds me of the Fortress of Solitude,” she whispers.

“Fortress of Solitude?”

“Kal took me there once. It is- it’s kind of a palace, made with ice and is basically our Krypton on Earth. It’s where he keeps all of Lex’s-”

Lena interrupts, “Maybe you shouldn’t tell me that.”

“Why?”

“I’m a Luthor.”

“And?”

There’s a swell of affection in her chest when her friend says that, pretends like her last name means nothing. “If Lex ever finds out where the Fortress is, we’re all in danger.”

“Oh.”

Lena goes silent, and her lips twitch downwards, head lowering, something she does when she’s about to cry.

“Lena…”

She just shakes her head, wiping the moisture from her eyes, and pushes herself to her feet. “Wonder if I can walk across it… maybe ice skate,” she muses, feet planted firmly in the snow beyond the patch of exposed ice.

“Be careful. It’s slip-”

Lena takes once step and her legs fly out from under her. She lands with an _oof_ on her back, the hard, cold surface driving the breath out of her lungs. 

“Lena!”

The Luthor is laughing, but the laughter is a little taut and strained, pained, almost. “I’m okay, Kara.”

“Hold still,” She gingerly turns her friend onto her side, pulling off her glasses so she can x-ray vision Lena’s body. “Nothing broken,” she exhales in relief, “but your tailbone is a little bit bruised.”

“Why are you looking there?” Lena quips, and Kara freezes.

“I, uh, I…” She just stands up awkwardly and offers her friend a hand, and Lena bursts into laughter, grabbing Kara’s hand and pulling her down on top of her. It catches her off guard, so she topples instead of almost dislocating Lena’s wrist, knees and palms hitting the ice on either side of Lena.

Her laughter fades, her goofy smile along with it, replaced by a look that’s more intense.

She’s practically _straddling_ Lena, worse, on all fours on top of her, their faces just inches apart, and Lena has to do everything in her power not to surge upwards and kiss the life out of her best friend because she’s, well, her best friend. It would ruin things between them.

Luckily for her, it’s Kara who closes the distance, fascinated by the novel warmth that tugs in her chest from the intensity and tenderness in Lena’s gaze. She doesn’t think and just lets their bodies connect, let’s her heart guide her.

The black-haired girl’s lips are almost blue from cold, but Kara’s are warm and pink, and her breath hitches when their lips meet. For Lena, it’s searing heat, and she kisses back within a fraction of a second, almost groaning when the heat spreads to the rest of her body.

Kara jerks away with a gasp, “I’m sorry! I should have asked first!”

“Shut up,” is all Lena can say, and tugs the Kryptonian down until she’s kissing her again, their lips soft and moving tentatively, experimentally. Kissing is new to them both, but the feeling of pure bliss that just races through her, even when their teeth collide slightly, is enough to make a small uncharacteristic whimper leave her throat, and Kara mirrors the sound.

Lena’s arms loosely embrace Kara’s neck, and the latter’s hands are on either side of the former’s head, holding herself up as they kiss almost frantically. It becomes some sort of dance, of wordless communication, where one acts and the other responds and soft noises are elicited, quiet in the looming forest.

They kiss until the sky lightens from black to dark blue and the hint of warmth peeks out from beyond the trees until their lips are swollen and their chests heave as they gasp for air.

“ _.:zhaoodh khap w rrip, eh linah_ ?,” Kara murmurs in her native language, pressing a small kiss to Lena’s jaw after flopping down on the ice half on top of her.

Lena’s eyebrows twitch as she tries to comprehend the Kryptonian, but there’s unknown vocabulary in there, so she asks, “What does _:zhao_ mean? And _ooh_ , gendered pronouns.” She has a faint idea from the use of non-gender neutral pronouns, either a sign of informality or intimacy in the language, as well as the structure of the sentence. She just waits for Kara to confirm it.

Kara doesn’t answer for a while, nuzzling her nose into Lena’s neck while she tries to formulate a response.

“It means “love,” doesn’t it?” she wonders aloud, “But what about _shovuh_?”

“Ah,” Kara responds distractedly, playing with a few strands of Lena’s dark hair, “ _shovuh_ is love, yes, but it is the friendship type of love. So when you say _shovuhodh w rraop_ or _shovuhodh khap w rrip_ , which is more intimate, you are saying “I love you” in a friendly way.”

Lena nods in understanding, chest swelling with warmth, a smile gracing her lips, “So _:zhao_ is romantic love.”

“I guess,” Kara answers, “It’s closer to, uh, what do you guys call it? Lust?”

Lena flushes.

Kara goes on with a soft giggle, tracing a fingertip over Lena’s rosy cheeks, “But you Earthlings, you humans marry for love, right?” When the girl under her gives her a slight nod of confirmation, she continues, “On Krypton, that wasn’t the case. We were all assigned soulmates, a perfect partner based on genetics by the Codex, this computer-like program that basically engineered us to fulfill certain roles. Romantic love wasn’t really a thing, and people just didn’t really fall in love with their assigned soulmate. Their purpose was to… create a baby that was genetically linked to them and had all these desired traits. So… essentially selective breeding on steroids, except the parents’ genomes are completely manipulated.”

“Why did they need to make a baby if the Codex was going to rewrite the genes anyway?”

“They wanted blood to be passed down, still. I guess they could have just completely engineered babies from scratch, but I was not old enough to know. Bloodlines and families are important, especially if you were royalty. My last name on Krypton was Zor-El, the last name of my father. I was part of the House of El, the _zrhythrev ,ehl,_ and we were genetically engineered to be smart.” Kara just looks sad as she discusses her home planet in the past tense, “I was supposed to be in the Science Guild when I grew up, helping my aunt to reverse the damage done… almost what you call climate change here, but it was from the core of Krypton.”

“Oh…”

She shakes herself out of it, “I am getting off track. Basically, when a married couple, soulmates… well, mated, they would call it _:zhao_ , sexual attraction, lust, which is engineered into the code for reproductive reasons. But sometimes, the soulmates did feel a deeper connection beyond just the surface-level _:zhao_. They continued to call it _:zhao_ , but now it just has a double meaning. But I guess… if you use it in this context, as a verb, then it means ‘I love you’ in the romantic sense.”

Lena smiles, half to herself, “Well, then, _:zhaoodh khap w rrip vahdhah ?_,” she breathes.

Kara gasps, “Really?”

“Yes, you idiot. I’ve been in love with you for like, two years.” She finally puts a name to the feelings that she’s buried for so long, and it’s liberating.

“Two years? Also, it's _:zhaoodh vahdhah khap w rrip_ because _vahdhah_ is an adverb.”

“You nerd. When we met, basically, yeah. Remember? Midvale’s a small town, so when I ran into you, someone unfamiliar, I was confused. And I tapped you on the shoulder and you almost heat-visioned my face off.”

“It happens sometimes when I’m scared,” she says defensively.

“I know, darling.” She presses a chaste kiss to the corner of Kara’s mouth. “Anyway, I got scared because Superman could do that and, well, you know my brother. And then you _threatened_ to hurt me if I told anyone, which, if I’m going to be honest, was kind of hot.” Kara blushes furiously, and Lena chuckles in amusement, “And you went to school for the first time and everyone was talking about how Alex Danvers’s parents had adopted a girl, and I figured it was you. And since I was adopted as well, and a fellow outcast, I said hi. And here we are.”

“And here we are,” Kara echoes.

“I love you, Kar.”

“I love too y- wait. I love you, too.”

Lena rolls on her back and laughs.

Kara pouts, “I forgot your weird sentence structure.”

“Don’t worry. It’s cute,” Lena murmurs, brushing their noses together softly. 

Rays of light began to thread through the trees, and the forest is suddenly alive with birdsong and the soft rustling from the breeze and the animals.

“We should get back.”

Kara just picks up Lena, who nuzzles into the crook of her neck as they fly back to the Danvers’ house.

“I will see you at school?” she grins hopefully, and Lena nods, leaning forward to steal one last kiss, but somehow, it turns into more and Kara has to drop a handful of snow down Lena’s back to get her to stop.

The Luthor squeals uncharacteristically and bucks forward, her hips thrusting into Kara in a way that makes her heart jump into her throat and her mouth dry.

Kara stammers an incoherent apology and presses a soft kiss to Lena’s mouth before flying into her room leaving a disgruntled Lena to untuck her shirt from her pants in order to get the rapidly melting snow out.

Alex is sitting on her bed, cross-legged, lips pulled in a smirk. “So… where’d you go?”

“Just studying with Lena.” She fails to not blush, and her sister definitely notices.

“Yeah, we all know _studying_ ,” she makes finger quotes, “with your girlfriend means making out. Seriously.”

Kara squeaks, “How did you know?”

“I looked through the window.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

“Please don’t tell Eliza,” she begs.

“Can I have the bathroom first for the next month?”

“...”

“I’ll tell her.”

Kara huffs, but she’s in too good of a mood to be mad at her sister, “Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah... just two young children in love
> 
> /.nahn iovis w kuva/ = that's stupid
> 
> /.nahn khuhp w suzhahv :zehtol/ = I am fifteen years old
> 
> /rraozhon/ = thirty-nine (/rraozh/ = nine, /non/ = three, but like lena says, kryptonian place value is seriously screwed up and backwards so 39 is written 93, and in kryptonese, it's the same.
> 
> the whole spiel about the vocative particle? it's /eh/ and commas are used on either side of a proper noun following it, such as /,kahrah,/, or kara written out using kryptonese phonetics.
> 
> /:zhaoodh khap w rrip eh ,linah,/ = I love you, Lena (romantic) (i know all you SC shippers know this one haha) i changed Lena to /linah/ because kryptonese is essentially written exactly as it's pronounced so from lena, you get... /linah/
> 
> /shovuhodh w rraop/ or /shovuhodh khap w rrip/ = I love you (friendly); the first is the less-familiar and more casual and  
> is close to English "love you," while the latter is the intimate way of saying it, "I love you." i think most of you understand the difference in impact when a subject is added to a sentence... also! you might notice that /rraop/ is used in the first and /rrip/ in the second. they mean the same thing; the second one uses gendered pronouns because it's intimate. usually, gendered pronouns can also mean informal or familiar, but because we kept in the subject "I", it should just be considered intimate. (unless I'm mistaken, in which case, i'd love for someone to teach me the right things haha)
> 
> /:zhaoodh vahdhah khap w rrip/ = I love you, too (I had Kara correct Lena because I had to correct myself lmfao)
> 
> so... it turns out the word "too" is an adverb and like the idiot i am, i thought it was an adjective and used /vahdhah/ at the end of sentences so now i have to go fix that one chapter that's half in kryptonese :/
> 
> **please tell me if i forgot anything or would like an explanation!!**
> 
> also, that scene where Lena steps one foot on the ice and slips and falls flat on her butt? real life experience lmao... my friends and i were playing in the snow and dug a few inches deep and there was just a solid surface of ice and we took turns spinning on it on one of those circular sleds and my friend goes "let's see if i can walk on it" and i go "don't fa-" and she falls flat on her butt...
> 
> edit: this chapter has now been updated with kryptonese translations next to the kryptonese


	11. you're traveling with my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the previous chapter as per [Leapyearbaby29](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leapyearbaby29/pseuds/Leapyearbaby29)'s request! Kara and Lena are sophomores in college, and go back to Midvale to visit in their winter break...
> 
> Day 11: Travel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo idk if i should bump up the rating to teen, but I'm going to leave it for now and i hope this suffices as a warning for implied suggestive themes no smut i promise
> 
> i finished writing this at 4 am, the latest I've ever stayed up, so I'm posting it now... 9 hours too late because I'm slowly falling more and more behind :(
> 
> also: THANK YOU FOR 2000 HITS I LOVE YOU GUYS
> 
> edit: so I'm using the end notes as a change log and i exceeded the character limit.... i am so so so sorry for the amount of scrolling you hafta do in the future with chapters with kryptahniuo and gosh, i needa work on my rambling/unecessary info dumping and it's less that 5000 characters and i can't post it aaaaaaaaaaaa
> 
> Chapter Title from "My Everything" by Ariana Grande.

“It’s just as I remember it,” Lena breathes, looking around the small town of Midvale in awe. “Well, except for the snow. It hasn’t snowed this year yet.”

The sky is clear and blue, and the sun is low, dipping towards the horizon as evening approaches.

“It’s only been a year since we visited,  _ kuvaium ? _ ,” Kara snorts, but her tone is affectionate.

The Luthor gasps in mock offense, “Did you just call me an idiot?”

“ _.Zhi ? _ , but you’re  _ my _ idiot.”

“ _.zhanahn khuhp w kuvaium ?”  _ she protests, but her lips tug upwards in a small smile, “ _.kehp rraop w giehrim :zhaoodh khuhp ni rraop ? _ ”

“I love you, too,” Kara grins, looping her arm in her girlfriend’s. It had become sort of a game between them for the human to speak in Kryptahniuo and the Kryptonian to speak in English; it definitely helped them speak more fluently. “Now, c’mon. Let’s go home and eat some food. . _ kehp khuhp w vehl” _

It’s Lena’s turn to snort, “You’re always hungry, darling.  _ ;zuhne zha, _ ” she echoes (in Kryptonian), “ _ kaogev rroshodh kryp w zehdh ghao plehsodh ?” _

_ Home _ simply was the Danvers’ household for the two of them. Lena had never really seen the Luthor house as her home, not when Lionel was drunk the vast majority of the time, and when her mother had always treated Lex as her only child. Lionel was gone now, and she almost missed her father, but there was no going back, and no time to regret hating him.

The Danvers though, they took her in like another adoptive daughter. Even after Jeremiah was confirmed dead, Eliza continued to raise all three of them like it was nothing.

The couple walks slowly towards home, each tugging a suitcase that contained everything they would need for their week-long stay over winter break.

They arrive pretty quickly; the town is a small one, and the taxi had dropped them off relatively close. They had chosen to walk the rest, wanting to see if everything was still the same and if they could remember the way home. 

(Turns out it isn’t hard when Kara could see through the buildings and when Lena had a near-eidetic memory.)

They’re welcomed warmly by Eliza, who gives them both a hug and presents the two with Chinese takeout. Kara just groans in delight and super speeds to the sink to wash her hands before darting back to eagerly take the order of potstickers for herself.

Her adoptive mother and girlfriend just watch on with identical looks of half-amusement, half-fondness.

After swallowing about three in a span of twenty seconds, she looks at them, cheeks tinged pink, “What?” she says defensively, “I know they have these in National City, but it’s still  _ amazing _ .”

“ _ kuvaium ?, _ ” Lena just murmurs fondly, and a small smile twitches on Kara’s grease-covered lips.

Eliza just looks at her with a somewhat questioning gaze at the foreign word as she heads to the kitchen sink to clean her hands.

She’s much calmer in the way she sits down and eats slowly with a pair of chopsticks. Eliza joins them as well, sitting down at the kitchen table.

“It’s nice to have you girls back,” she speaks up after they’ve finished most of their meal in comfortable silence, only swapping a few words.

“It’s nice to be back,” Lena replies with a smile.

“How’s college?”

“Easy, for the most part.”

Kara scoffs playfully, “You nerd. You could’ve literally gone to MIT in middle school and graduated before you were twenty, but nope, you went to Midvale High.”

Lena flushes a little at the praise, taking her girlfriend’s hand in her own, “I couldn’t leave you. You were my only friend after I left Metropolis before middle school. And, I was also in love with you.”

Eliza looks at her in surprise, “I thought you two got together in your sophomore year?”

She smiles wryly, “I didn’t know that at the time, of course. Neither did Kara, obviously. Baby-gay thirteen-year-old Lena Luthor had no idea and thought the feelings were just friendly ones.”

“Aww,” Kara coos, “Well, I’m glad you didn’t ditch high school for college,” she declares.

“. _ vahdhah ?, _ ” she murmurs, thinking back to the time she thought the word “too” was an adjective and had tacked  _ vahdhah _ to the end of her sentence.

“Also,” Eliza pipes back in, “you didn’t tell me you could speak Kryptahniuo. I’m sure Kara appreciates that a lot.”

She shrugs sheepishly, “Kara taught me around the time we started high school, about six years ago. I think she just wanted someone to speak her native language with.”

Kara lets her head drop onto Lena’s shoulder, a content smile crinkling the corners of her eyes, “Yeah, basically.”

The older woman watches her daughter gaze at her girlfriend with soft eyes, and she’s just grateful Lena found Kara when she was utterly lost and alone.

“Well,” Eliza stands up, pushing in the chair in front of her, “I’ll leave you two to get settled in Kara and Alex’s old room. Door open at all times, okay?”

Her daughter looks horrified at the implication and Lena flushes.

“What? Okay, I did let Lena sleep with you in your bed whenever she came over, but Alex was in the other bed, so you two wouldn’t have tried anything. But Alex is spending break in National City with Maggie, so door open… please.”

The girls exchange a look and Eliza takes one look at their tomato-red faces, and her eyes widen in exasperation.

She sputters, “You two,” she makes some vague gestures with her hands, “with Alex  _ literally ten feet away _ ?”

“Uh… maybe?”

Eliza pinches the bridge of her nose, “And this was when you were in high school? I knew I should’ve made you two sleep separately!”

“Eliza!”

Lena looks absolutely mortified, and she looks down like her hands are suddenly very interesting.

The older woman laughs, “I know, I know, I couldn’t stop you from having sex or doing whatever it is you teenagers do, and I can’t now, but just please, not while I’m in the house? I’ll be at work the entire week, so you two can…. you know-”

“Eliza!” Kara hisses again, more insistently, burying her face into Lena’s shoulder.

“Right. I… will go to the grocery store now. You girls want anything?”

“Just get that really good hot chocolate,” the alien mumbles from where her face is still pressed into Lena’s arm.

“Of course. Have fun. Actually, no, I don’t need to- I changed your bedsheets before you got here, so they should be clean!” She almost flees through the front door, barely remembering to grab her purse.

The moment the door slams shut, Kara lets out a loud groan.

“That was… mortifying,” Lena comments, pursing her lips.

“Truly.’

They grab their suitcases and pull them upstairs, setting them in a corner.

“I don’t wanna unpack right now,” the alien mumbles, sitting down on her bed. It bounces under her weight.

“What do you want?”

“. _ dhaikho ? _ ,” she mumbles, tugging Lena towards her so she can kiss her.

The Luthor cocks an eyebrow, “You know, your mom’s not here right now. We could…” she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, and Kara just faceplants on her mattress with a huff.

“I’m too embarrassed right now.”

Lena laughs, “Okay. Then we’re unpacking. Just use superspeed or something, and we’ll be done in less than a minute. Give me a kiss, though.”

In the time it takes Lena to say the sentence, Kara has already jumped up and unzipped her suitcase, depositing her clothes in the drawer and her textbooks (for homework) and laptop on her desk.

“There. . _ ewuhshahzh ? _ ”

“Well. Do mine too?”

“What do I get?”

“A kiss.”

Kara frowns.

“And a hug.”

“Okie!”

Lena’s dark hair is lifted from her shoulders as Kara darts around the room using super speed, unpacking her belongings in a mere three seconds.

“Impressive.”

Kara beams.

“Now c’mere.” Lena pulls Kara into her arms and kisses her softly, laying down on the bed.

The blonde sighs happily and wiggles her body, as if trying to snuggle deeper into Lena. “I love you.”

“.: _ zhaoodh khap w rrip ? _ ,” she echoes back.

They stay like that until they fall asleep, both exhausted from the long plane ride. Eliza arrives home half an hour later, peeking into the bedroom to see the girls fast asleep, holding each other. A faint smile ghosts her lips, and she turns off the light, heading to her own room.

It turns out that sleeping so early, at about seven pm ruins their sleep schedule because they’re both awake by three am, having gotten sufficient sleep.

Kara shifts on the bed with a sigh; the glaring red numbers of the clock still read  _ 3:19 _ , and she’s not sure she can sleep anymore, especially as an alien who barely needs to sleep.

Lena awakens at nearly the same time, opening her eyes with a yawn to see blackness when she expected to see the sun.

“Hi,” she whispers into Kara’s hair, arms still around her girlfriend.

“Hi,” her girlfriend whispers back.

“It’s three am.”

“I know. Maybe we shouldn’t have slept at, like, seven.”

“Yeah.”

Kara stretches up to press a soft kiss to Lena’s lips, which, inevitably, turns into something more. The blonde crawls on top of her girlfriend so she can deepen the kiss, body sprawled on top of Lena’s, and their legs tangle together.

The only thing muffling a moan is Lena’s lips, hot and wet on hers, insistent and hungry. She untangles her legs from Lena’s and sits up, knees pressed to the bed. A shuddering gasp escapes her lips when she does so, the action providing her with a little friction.

“Kara,” Lena hisses to the girl above her, hips twitching as she fights not to chase the friction she craves, “stop. Stop.  _.kaozharrosh ? _ ”

“Why?” she almost whines.

“Your mom is literally in the next room, and the door is open!”

“We can be quiet.”

“You can’t.”

Kara considers this, her breaths heavy, thighs squeezing Lena’s waist tightly, seeking some form of relief from the heat that’s pooled low in her stomach.

“Fine. Out to the forest?”

“You sure?”

Kara almost groans out loud, “We snuck out that first night. Just go!”

In her haste to make it out the window, she almost forgets to open it. 

Lena has the sense to grab a blanket before the blonde pulls them both out the window and rapidly in the direction of the mass of conifer trees by Midvale High.

Kara almost flies straight into a tree when she heads into the depth of the forest when Lena dips her head to kiss her girlfriend’s neck.

“I’m going to crash if you don’t stop,” she yelps, barely swerving from the trunk in time.

They land ungracefully, their feet kicking up fallen pine needles, the blanket thrown onto a flat patch of dirt and them on top of it.

“I love you, Lee,” she mumbles, already kissing Lena, mimicking their position from before.

“I love you, too, Kar,” Lena whimpers as Kara’s leg presses up  _ right there _ , between her own, and she’s gone.

* * *

Despite the freezing temperature outside, they’re both sweating after a bit, sprawled naked on top of the ruffled blanket Lena had laid out, bare bodies pressed together and radiating warmth.

“I love you so much,” Kara murmurs breathlessly, nuzzling her nose into Lena’s collarbone. “You are amazing.”

“ _.:zhaoodh w rrip, eh ,kahrah, ?” she breathes back, shivering as the biting chill begins to set in. “ _.nahn khap w :zrhueiao ? _ .” _

__

“Aww,” she presses a tender kiss to the corner of Lena’s mouth, “ _.nahn vahdhah khap w :zrhueiao ? _ " Lena tries to snuggle deeper into her girlfriend, pressing as much of her skin against her in an attempt to stay warm, " _?tanahn rraop w zhizhaf ?” _

__

“Yeah.” Her teeth begin to chatter lightly, even Kara’s raised temperature not doing much to keep her warm. “Uh, where are my pajamas?”

__

“About that…”

__

Lena groans, “Please don’t tell me you ripped them.”

__

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

__

“Kara!”

__

“What? I can’t control my super strength sometimes!”

__

“Try next time,” she grumbles, but her body is buzzing and she’s too happy to get mad at Kara. “Can you, like, go back and get me clothes? Man, I seriously can’t believe we overlooked bringing jackets.”

__

The Kryptonian chuckles, “Well, I don’t get cold.”

__

“Bleh. Just get me some new pajamas?”

__

“Fine. Give me ten seconds.”

__

She’s back in eight, holding another set of Lena’s pajamas and a thick jacket, as well as a dark contraption in her other hand.

__

Lena takes the clothes gratefully, slipping them on, and then the jacket over and points to the thing Kara’s holding, “What’s that?”

__

“Kenny’s telescope.”

__

“Kenny Li?”

__

“Yeah. His parents gave it to me after he… you know, _:dhehrivahzh_ ?.”

__

“Oh.”

__

“Yeah.”

__

The alien points the telescope into the sky, adjusting the tripod so she can look through it easily.

__

It’s then Lena realizes she’s still unclothed, “Kara! Did you fly back naked?”

__

“Uh… yes. But no one saw me!”

__

Lena just laughs, shaking her head fondly. “Go put your clothes on.”

__

She does, using super speed, of course. 

__

The Luthor takes the chance to peek through the telescope, adjusting it until she sees a mass of glittering stars. She lets out a gasp of awe, “That’s the Andromeda galaxy.”

__

Kara’s breath hitches, “ _.nahn iovis rrahn nahn,kryptahn, ahvrigahzh ? _ . _ non _ .” She sounds sad, nostalgic, like she usually does when the topic of her home planet is brought up.

__

“It’s still there, though.”

__

“It exploded thirty-one years ago, Lee.”

__

“And the Andromeda galaxy is two-point-five million light-years away. The light we’re seeing from the galaxy is from 2.5 million years ago because it’s taking that long to reach us. It’s like looking back in time. If you could see Krypton through the telescope, it’d still be there. Because 2.5 million years ago, it hasn’t exploded.”

__

Kara brings a hand to her mouth, eyes watery as she gazes through the telescope at her home galaxy, “ _.nahn iovis :dhoia ? _ ,” she breathes, breaking off into a quiet sob. “I’m sorry.”

__

Lena wraps her arms around her girlfriend’s waist from behind, “No, darling. Don’t apologize. It’s okay to be homesick.”

__

The blonde just turns around and kisses her softly, her teary eyes saying  _ nahkluv ? _ “This is my home now,” she says firmly. “You are my home. Because the funny thing is, I’d lose my planet all over again for you.” Lena opens her mouth to object, but Kara raises a hand to stop, “You make me happy, _ khap i :zhao ? _ . You make me want forever just so I can spend an eternity with you.”

__

“Stop. You’re going to make me cry,” Lena clenches her jaw to still her trembling bottom lip, but the tears come out anyway.

__

Kara laughs wetly, a simultaneously delighted and sorrowful sound that is music to her ears, “ _.:zhaoodh khap w rrip tiv aorghuhs gehdiv ewuhshehd bem chao ukep ?_ _eh,_ Lena,” she whispers, “to the ever-expanding universe and back. Always. . _zhindif ?_”

__

“. _ chasi khap w rrip ni tiv ehl riz, lorakh, ehlo izo kaichadahzh ? _ ,” Lena murmurs back solemnly, “; _ zov tiv zhgehv waila ?” _

__

They hold each other until their tears dry, sharing soft kisses that make them feel like they already have the entire world. They sneak back in at five in the morning, just before the sun rises, and slip back under the covers.

__

Lena wakes up in different pajamas than the ones she fell asleep in, and if Eliza notices, she doesn’t say anything of it.

__

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **kryptonese translations and explanations:**
> 
> /kuvaium/ = idiot (/kuva/ = stupid + /-ium/ = person)
> 
> /zhi/ = yes
> 
> /.zhanahn khuhp w kuvaium/ = I'm not an idiot
> 
> /.kehp w rraop giehrim :zhaoodh khuhp ni rraop/ = You're lucky I love you (lucky isn't a word so I went espanol and did the hungry thing like "i have luck". ("Tengo hambre" means "I'm hungry," but literally, it's "i have hunger."))  
> edit: there's a better way to say this; there's a suffix: /-ia/ aka an adjectivalizer, meaning /giehrimia/ would suffice, but I'm keeping it for progress checks
> 
> /.kehp khuhp w vehl/ = I'm hungry (hungry isn't a word so I did the tengo hambre thing)  
> note: same as before; i could've gone with /vehlia/ but progress and also it's cool and i love applying things from other languages  
> edit: added /w/ because i forgot about the object particle
> 
> /;zuhne zha, kaogev rroshodh kryp w zehdh ghao plehsodh/ = But sure, let's go home and eat
> 
> /.kuvaium/ = dork (it's intended to be a playful, affectionate tease, but it literally just means stupid person... also means idiot, like before  
> edit: it has occurred to me that dork is often used as an insult and in no way does it mean what it was before so i changed it
> 
> /vahdhah/ = likewise (honestly i hate using this word because i really don't know how. it might be /.vahdhah khuhp/ or something like that, because the phrase "me too" derives from something like "They gave it to _me, too_ ," and /vahdhah/ is an adverb and comes after a verb, which doesn't really exist in this phrase... any experts wanna help?)
> 
> /dhaikho/ = kisses
> 
> /ewuhshahzh/ = done
> 
> /.:zhaoodh khap w rrip/ = y'all know this one, but just in case you don't, it's "I love you" (in the romantic sense, of course)
> 
> /kaozharrosh/ = stop (/kao/ = imperative marker + /zha/ = no, not, negative + /rrosh/ = go)
> 
> /.:zhaoodh w rrip eh,Kara,/ = I love you, Kara (obviously)
> 
> /.nahn khap w :zrhueiao/ = You are beautiful
> 
> /.nahn vahdhah khap w :zrhueiao/ = You're beautiful, too
> 
> /?tanahn rraop w zhizhaf/ = are you cold?  
> i forgot about this one ahahah
> 
> /:dhehrivahzh/= died  
> note: added this one after because 1) i felt like it and 2) i feel like it's something i'd do... like lower my voice and say it in another language if I'm uncomfortable
> 
> /.nahn iovis w rrahn nahn ,kryptahn, ni ahvrigahzh .non/ = That's [the Andromeda] where Krypton is located. Was. (unsure about this one because in English, we have a habit of correcting ourselves by just saying the word we didn't get right, but i dunno if that's grammatically correct in kryptonese)
> 
> /.nahn iovis :dhoia/ = that's lovely/beautiful
> 
> /nahkluv/ = thanks
> 
> /khap i :zhao/ = my love  
> note: it should be khuhtiv :zhao (i think, since girlfriends aren't quite family), but i like to see progress... i did fix one in chapter 5, but like... oh well
> 
> /.:zhaoodh khap w rrip tiv aorghuhs gehdiv ewuhshehd bem chao ukep eh,Lena,/ = I love you to the edge of the universe and back, Lena (there is no "back" in the dictionary, so I used "here" again)  
> edit: word order because postpositions, not prepositions, heh... i added "edge" because it sounds better... so it literally means the universe's edge
> 
> /zhindif/ = always
> 
> /.chasi khap w rrip tiv ehl riz, lorakh, chao ehlo izo nahsi ;zov tiv zhgehv waila/ = I would give you the sun, moon, and stars if I could. And the whole world.  
> (/ehlo/, meaning stars, also applies to the sun, but literally "stars" because there really isn't a word for sun; there's no kryptonese word for "moon" so I looked up the etymology from the English word, ~~and it's derived from various words that mean "month" or "measure," because the moon is used to measure time, with the lunar calendar at least, so that's what /baizhrig-lorakh/is. Literally "to measure-month." I wanted this to be soft, but I'm not sure it makes sense)~~  
>  EDIT for this particular word^: I'm just going to use the kryptonese word for month, /lorakh/ for "moon" because that's how it works in Chinese; moon and month are the same character. i assume it's because they typically go off the lunar calendar, meaning every month is a moon cycle. ~~also, because they do that in warriors alf;sdkjf~~  
>  i made another edit where i threw in sun using "yellow star" meaning it now says "sun, moon, and stars" rather than "stars and the moon"
> 
> asfjal;sdkfjasd I'm so sorry this took so long! the kryptahniuo was a pain in the butt as usual, but it was so worth it. finished this at 4 am and i was too tired to write the translations/edit/post it so I'm doing it now. hope it's okay!
> 
> EDIT: LMAO I'M ACTUALLY SO STUPID I SPELLED /VAHDHAH/ WRONG THIS WHOLE CHAPTER AND JUST REALIZED IT BECAUSE I'M MAKING A QUIZLET FOR VOCAB 
> 
> EDIT 2: changed word for "moon"
> 
> edit 3: added the translations in a little hover-y thingy :)


	12. something 'bout you makes me feel like a dangerous woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 12: Dress Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i totally forgot about the topic when writing this but hey at least it's kinda close
> 
> also it's only 12:36 am!! and I'm sleeping like right after i post this!! yay! progress!
> 
> ahaha the chapter titles have nothing to do with the chapter at this point
> 
> Chapter Title from "Dangerous Woman" by Ariana Grande.

“Alex,” Kara asks for the millionth time, “What should I be for Halloween?”

Her sister just turns to her with an exasperated eye roll, “I don’t know! Just… I don’t know, be Supergirl. You already have the costume for it.”

“But Lena doesn’t know!”

“Then tell her,” the darker-haired girl just groans.

“Really?” The Kryptonian perks up, eyes wide and hopeful.

“Wait! No! No, you can’t tell her.”

She slumps, face falling, but the prospect of telling Lena, of Lena _knowing_ sticks with her. It nags at her even when she pushes it to the back of her mind, even when, two days later, she’s so exhausted she collapses in her bed, expecting to fall asleep almost immediately. She doesn’t.

The thought of _Lena knowing she’s Supergirl_ lingers with her, a soft voice in her head that increases its volume with every passing day, calling her a liar and a traitor for keeping it from her best friend for so long.

“I have to tell her, Alex,” she looks at her sister with pleading eyes, her hands anxiously playing with her cape. “It’s eating me up. I can’t keep it from her anymore.” 

Her sister shakes her head firmly, “It’s for her own good, Kara. Even you know that. Besides, who knows if she might tell her brother or something. She’s a Lu-”

“Don’t say Luthor,” she snaps, eyes suddenly blazing. Her face is contorted in betrayal and anger, and she has to check that her eyes aren’t about to shoot beams of heat at her sister. Quieter, she adds, “Don’t. Don’t say she’s a Luthor.”

She breathes heavily, her expression wounded as if someone had shot her with a kryptonite bullet, “I- I can’t believe you would say that! She’s my- she’s our friend! And she’s so much better than that!”

Kara doesn’t wait for Alex’s reply before she storms out, throwing herself into the sky the second she’s outside.

Her chest burns with a mixture of fury and pain, and she grits her teeth and pushes herself higher, faster, only stopping when her vision blurs with tears.

She slows to a stop in the middle of the city, hovering too high for anyone on the ground to see. The sun is warm on her skin, and usually, it’s her favorite sensation, second maybe to Lena’s hugs. But today, it makes her skin itch as it absorbs the radiation. It makes her feel cold despite the fact it’s not physically possible for her to be cold.

She draws in a shaky breath, automatically tuning in to the one heartbeat she’s taught herself to listen for in the entire National City.

Lena’s heart rate is relaxed, slow, and steady, and she just closes her eyes, listening to the slow beat until she’s calm enough to return home. She internally hopes Alex isn’t there.

Kara flies in through the window, holding her breath until she’s sure she’s completely alone. She slips back into civilian clothes, hating the fact she has to keep the super-suit on under.

Pulling out her phone, she replies to Lena’s last text, _Are you going to Nia’s Halloween party?_

She chews her lower lip, tapping out a simple _yes._

_Great, what are you dressing up as?_

Her heart lodges itself in her throat, _It’s going to be a surprise! :)_

_Oh, come on, Kara._

She chuckles to herself, although the sound is anxious, strained.

_You’ll see._

***

Halloween seems to arrive too soon, and Kara is nervous all day, her palms sweating, fingers twitching. She has to pretend to be working on an article at CatCo so Snapper doesn’t complain.

Her outfit is simple. She’s going to wear her hair down, wavy like Supergirl’s, and an oversized hoodie over her super suit, long enough to cover the short skirt and tuck her cape into.

She arrives at Lena’s penthouse at six pm, their agreed meeting time before they walked to Nia and her roommate Yvette’s house, which is only a few blocks away.

Kara anxiously paces back and forth, before deciding to walk inside. She takes the stairs instead of the elevator, walking every step slowly until she reaches the penthouse.

And then she shoots Lena a text: _I’m here._

She chews on one of the hoodie strings, fingers fiddling with the too-long sleeves of the hoodie she’s wearing to cover up her outfit with the exception of her boots. She runs the words in her head over and over until she almost forgets what she’s going to say, and finally, the door swings open.

“Lena! Hi!” She doesn’t get to say much more past that because her best friend is wearing a floor-length sleeveless dress. It’s as red as her lips, and there are beautiful gold leaves around her waistline, almost like a small golden wreath around her waist. Her raven-black hair is tied up neatly, a few strands hanging deliberately on either side of her head.

In other words, she looks perfect.

(And Kara, just stands there, gaping, mouth dry and all planned words forgotten.)

Lena looks her up and down in a way that makes her skin burn, “You look like Ariana Grande with the knee-high boots and the oversized hoodie. But like, a foot taller.”

She starts at that, flushing, knowing now’s the time to reveal herself, but she can’t bring herself to move, not when Lena Luthor is standing in front of her looking utterly flawless and gorgeous.

“Uh…”

“Kara.”

She shakes her head, snapping herself out of it, and the only thing she can mutter is, “What’s your costume?”

Lena smiles and Kara’s heart stops, “Morgana Pendragon. It’s quite stunning, don’t you think.”

“Y-yeah. It’s beautiful. I mean, you’re beautiful. I mean… yeah,” she finishes lamely, far too flustered to be speaking, so she clamps her mouth shut.

“She’s a lot like me, you know. Born from an affair and then adopted. Well, she does turn evil because of Morgause, but also because Merlin betrays her. Betrayal is my Achilles’ heel, I’m sure you know. She’s a really relatable character, and honestly, she deserved better.”

Kara inhales sharply when guilt pierces her gut. “Yeah, definitely.”

“So,” Lena eyes her hoodie, “Who might you be?”

She pulls of her hoodie, carefully to keep her glasses in place, and then she takes a deep breath before saying, “I’m Supergirl.”

It obviously doesn’t come out as confident and strong as she intends, because it’s too _Kara Danvers_ for Lena to think anything of it, and so the Luthor just gasps, running a hand lightly over one bulletproof sleeve.

“Wow. This looks like the real thing.”

“That’s because it is the real thing,” she almost whispers, slowly slipping off her glasses. Her back instinctively straightens, and suddenly all traces of Kara Danvers are gone, replaced by Supergirl, Girl of Steel, Champion of the Earth.

Lena’s eyes flicker up to her face, and the freezes because she’s been looking at Supergirl this whole time.

“Supergirl?”

The superhero nods, and then bites her lip and does a small wave that the Girl of Steel would never do and that just confirms Lena’s first thought.

“Kara?”

“It’s me,” she whispers.

“You’re not pranking me right now. You’re really Supergirl?”

She just nods wordlessly and does a little hover in the air to demonstrate.

Lena looks stunned, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted, and panic flares in Kara’s chest so she starts talking.

“Please don’t hate me for it. I- I didn’t tell you because I wanted to keep you safe, I wanted to protect you. But then, I realized that by not telling my truth, I wasn’t just protecting you. I was hurting you. I’m Supergirl, Lee. I’m so, so sorry it took me so long to tell you, but… here I am.”

“Here you are,” Lena echoes, reaching out to touch Kara’s face lightly almost as if she can’t believe she’s there.

Kara drops back to the floor, and the dark-haired woman just mutters to herself, almost as if the blonde isn’t there, “How did I not realize earlier? Kara is Supergirl. Supergirl is Kara.”

“Please don’t hate me,” she says brokenly, eyes swimming in tears.

“I don’t,” Lena murmurs, and her shoulders crumple in relief. “But why wait so long to tell me? Why wait until now?”

She takes a deep breath, “Knowing a secret identity is dangerous. It can put you in danger. And- and I didn’t want you to get hurt, Lena. So I kept it from you. And then over time, we became friends, and you lo- you liked me for Kara, not Supergirl. You just knew Kara, and it just made me happy. 

“And then, and then, there was that time when you hated Supergirl for being so selfish, and you said that you and her weren’t friends. But you still liked Kara, you still wanted Kara as your friend, so I took it. And I’ve been keeping it from you because I'm just so terrified you’re going to hate me and leave me, but it’s eating me up. So I had to tell you. Alex actually tried to stop me, but I couldn’t. I just _had_ to, even if you’re going to hate me because you’re my best friend and I was wrong to keep such a big secret from you.”

Lena just takes it all in silently, her face a mask of nonchalance.

“Please say something.” She’s crying now, tears falling from her eyes and onto her super suit.

“Anything else you’ve been keeping from me?” she asks quietly, and Kara’s heart shatters.

There’s one thing left to say, one thing left to tell. Perhaps her biggest secret yet is the fact that she’s in love with Lena.

The Luthor notices the hesitance because she talks again, voice-controlled, “There is something is there?”

She nods glumly, heart pounding so loud and fast it almost drowns out her own voice when she speaks, “Yeah.”

Lena just looks at her expectantly, and with a jolt, Kara realizes that she’s waiting for her to say something. Or nothing at all.

“You’re going to hate me for it.”

“I could never hate you, Kara,” is all she says. It’s quiet, small.

“You might, after this.”

“I’m never going to hate you, darling. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Not even if I tried.”

She blinks, “What?”

“Is it foolish of me to assume you return my feelings?”

Her heart stops, “Wait. _What_ ?” _Feelings?_

Lena sighs, averting her eyes, “Nevermind. Go on.”

“T- that was actually what I was going to say.”

Her head snaps up so fast Kara wonders if she got whiplash from that, “Really?”

“That’s my only secret left, Lee. I’m in love with you.”

The dark-haired woman pauses, eyes wide with shock, “Love?”

The Kryptonian slaps a hand over her mouth, “I mean- I, uh, what? Did I misinterpret your statement?”

“No!” Lena laughs, a deep, warm sound that just about breaks the tension in the room, “You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that.”

“W-why?” Kara knows the answer. She just wants to hear Lena say it out loud.

“I’m in love with you too, you idiot.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Can’t believe I wasted so much time,” Kara mutters, half to herself, “I should’ve asked you out, like, four years ago.”

“Well, we’re here now.”

Kara smiles, letting out an almost disbelieving laugh as Lena looks at her, awaiting the question. Lena, will you go to Nia’s Halloween party with me? I mean, you already are, and like, she invited you, too, but, like, as my… date? And also, if you want, of course, will you be my girlfriend?”

“Can I kiss you now?”

Kara blinks. “Uh, yeah, sure, that would be great. Amaz-”

And then Lena kisses her, and the Girl of Steel finally bends, and she just feels like her heart’s going to explode. Her knees buckle and she barely rights herself because she just wants to keep kissing Lena like there’s no tomorrow.

“I love you,” Lena presses her forehead against Kara’s, slightly out of breath.

Kara gives her a grin so wide it hurts her cheeks, “I love you, too. Wait. Was that a yes?”

Lena rolls her eyes, “You are such an idiot sometimes. But it’s adorable.”

“W-what?”

“Yes! Of course, it’s a yes! If that wasn’t a yes, then I don’t know what is!”

Kara giggles, delighted, opens her mouth to say something, but just ends up kissing Lena again.

“What about the whole me-being-Supergirl thing?” she asks when they take the elevator down to the ground floor.

Lena gives her hand a promising squeeze, “We have forever to work that out, darling.”

Almost bursting with joy and relief, Kara texts her sister: _I told her._

A reply comes back almost immediately. _That you’re Supergirl or that you love her?_

Kara chuckles, shaking her head. Of course, Alex would know. _Both_ , she sends back.

_And how did she react?_

Kara bites her lip, looking over at Lena, perfect and absolutely beautiful in the sleeveless dress, and their eyes meet for a split second and it tells her everything she needs and wants to know.

_She loves me too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH I JUST WANTED TO SAY I LOVE ALL OF YOU FOR READING AND LEAVING KUDOS AND COMMENTING AND ARE YOU KIDDING ME I'VE GONE UP ALMOST 400 VIEWS TODAY A;LFKJALSDKFJ THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUUUU <3
> 
> also, this chapter might be the worst one yet, so heh... hope it's decent enough :/
> 
> and no kryptonese because 1) i think you've all had enough of it, and 2) it takes wayyy too long to write like 2000 words with kryptahniuo dialogue.


	13. lucky i'm in love with my best friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songfic (of sorts) based off of Daughtry's _Waiting for Superman_
> 
> Day 13: Lucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: (minor/kinda) s*icide attempt in the end, please don't read if it triggers!!
> 
> anddddd okay that's it, i'm upping the rating
> 
> ^^that's your warning kiddos. no smut but definitely suggestive implications and themes and... you get it... 
> 
> also teensy bit angst because why not
> 
> reeee 1:45 am... i have not once published a chapter in time this month
> 
> Chapter Title from "Lucky" by Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat.

Lena’s never considered herself lucky.

Not when she gets to witness the death of her mother at the age of four, not when she’s adopted by an ice-cold family with an abusive mother and an alcoholic father, not when her brother goes crazy, and then suddenly, she’s alone.

But then Kara shows up, slipping between the chinks in her armor and melting the ice around her heart with soft smiles and warm hugs.

And then suddenly, it hurts so much more than everyone and everything else combined. Losing her real mother, and then her father, and then Andrea, and then her brother and mother. It hurts exponentially more when she finds out she’s been lying to her all along, that their friendship had been a lie, that Kara Danvers had been a lie the entire time.

She pushes her away.

**_And she smiles, oh the way she smiles_ **

And so Lena puts on a fake smile, for her coworkers, for the press, for all the cameras. 

She smiles for the investors, but it’s rigid and stiff, and her cheeks tremble from the effort of keeping up such a facade.

She puts a smile into every word she says, into every facial expression, a smile that says  _ I’m fine, I’m okay, please ignore me, please leave me alone. _

She pretends to be okay.

(But she’s not sure if she’s trying to convince everyone else or herself.)

**_She's talking to angels, counting the stars_ **

When she works late nights (more often than not now), she heads up to the roof in the middle of the night. The darkness above her is suffocating, only the brightest stars visible through the light pollution. She counts a total of twelve visible stars. One might be Mars; she’s not sure.

And she cranes her head upwards until her neck is sore, and she might catch a glimpse of that red cape, but it’s gone so fast she wonders if she imagines it. And when she’s finally too exhausted, she sinks to her knees, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

If she makes any noise at all, it’s drowned out by the city that’s never been any more  _ home _ that Metropolis ever was because home was where Kara was.

And all of a sudden, she leaves, she is evicted, she pushes herself away and finds herself homeless once more.

**_Making a wish on a passing car_ **

Lena doesn’t look both ways when she crosses the street anymore. 

(Maybe for the foolish hope that Kara’s watching her, waiting to save her.

But she grits her teeth at the mere thought of her ex-best friend, so hard she almost grinds them into dust, and mutters to herself through a clenched jaw,  _ Her world doesn’t revolve around you. _

She instructs her driver to park a block away from her office, just so she can cross the few roads, but he gets concerned and refuses to follow her orders. 

She fires him and drives herself. Just so she has the pleasure of swerving last minute, the exhilaration of speeding up and borderline running a red light.

**_She's dancing with strangers, falling apart_ **

On days she has no work to do at night, she puts on makeup until she’s almost unrecognizable, and heads out to a bar. She has too much time on her hands these days, too much time to think, too much time to  _ remember _ when she should be forgetting.

She downs shots like it’s nothing, letting the alcohol burn a trail from her throat to stomach. It’s warm in her stomach, and her vision blurs and she’s not sure if it’s the alcohol kicking in, or tears flooding her vision.

(And despite the fact that she’s pretty certain it’s the latter, she tells herself it’s the former. 

She almost believes it.)

Lena throws herself into the crowd, drunk, unseeing, clumsy, and lets herself get lost in the loud music that leaves her ears ringing for hours afterward.

Sometimes, she wakes up in the morning in a foreign bed, or in her own bed with a foreign person whose name she doesn’t remember, and her chest tightens and her head throbs. She’ll creep to the bathroom before she vomits into the toilet and turns on the shower.to the hottest possible setting. 

She lets the water burn her skin, tells herself that she needs the pain. She sobs.

Her tears mix with the scalding water raining from her showerhead, and maybe it doesn’t count as crying, not when she can’t tell the difference between tears and water.

**_Waiting for Superman to pick her up_ **

And then she climbs out and looks in the mirror, her skin so red and her chest so tight she just stares. And she breathes, but it feels like the walls are closing in on her, and her throat constricts and no amount of swallowing can clear it.

She leans forward, naked, and presses her forehead to the mirror, hands bracing herself on the sink. When the steam clears from the glass, she sees her own eyes, hopeless, desolate, pained,  _ broken _ , and she looks away.

Lena tries to breathe, tries to inhale without the sting that stabs her chest like an ice pick.

And she still holds on to the irrational hope that Kara’s going to come to her apartment, to L-Corp, to land on the balcony or walk in through the door with an easy smile. 

But  _ no _ , she cannot forgive her. Not when she hurt her like this, not when she betrayed her and lied to her and took her for a fucking  _ fool _ .

**_In his arms yeah, in his arms yeah_ **

There are times when she holds herself, arms wrapped tightly around her torso, shaking as she tries to fight the sob that wells up in her throat. It bursts out of her anyway, and she claps a hand over her mouth, pain  _ bleeding  _ from her eyes in the form of tears that never stop coming, in the form of water that leaves her eyes bloated and swollen, in the form of bitter salt that cakes her cheeks and coats her tongue.

And like the fool she is, she cups her own cheek and runs a thumb under her eye like she imagines Kara would do. She presses fingers to her lips and imagines she’s kissing Kara, and she wraps herself in a thin blanket and tricks herself into believing that it’s Kara’s cape.

She falls asleep, letting her lips rest on the cold skin of her own forearm, closing her eyes tightly and wishing it were Kara under her lips.

**_She's waiting for Superman_ **

And in her head, it’s still Kara Kara Kara and those beautiful blue eyes she can’t forget no matter how much she drinks, no matter how much she sleeps with strangers she’ll never see again. 

Sometimes, she walks to the edge of her balcony and hoists herself up onto the wall, letting her legs dangle over the edge. She sits precariously, letting her feet swing, and the view from fifty stories up makes her heart race and her vision spin. Her stomach lurches and she almost loses her balance, but she always rights herself.

Lena lifts her chin up, looks at a fixed point in the sky, and says  _ don’t let me fall. _

She’s not sure if she’s talking about literally falling, or falling in love.

(She’s afraid she might be too late on the latter.)

**_To lift her up and take her anywhere_ **

Lena still remembers the feeling of Kara’s hands, gripping her lower back and upper thigh, edging dangerously close to  _ there _ , strong arms wrapped around her as she flies through the air.

She remembers Kara describing what it feels like to fly, to push off the ground and soar to through the sky for the sole pleasure feeling the wind she creates, and it’s so vivid it’s almost like a dream, a memory.

And she just wants to fly away. To burst out of the burden of pain and be set free, to have the ability to fly anywhere and everywhere, going fast enough she almost feels like she’s leaving the agony behind.

**_Show her love and climbing through the air_ **

At night, alone in her cold bed, trying to calm her thoughts enough to sleep,  _ Kara _ fills her thoughts. Kara embracing her, Kara whispering words of comfort, Kara smiling at her like she’s the only thing left in the world, Kara breathing her name, Kara touching her.

It takes a lot of willpower to refrain from slipping her hand under the covers.

More willpower than she has.

So Lena touches herself with Kara’s name on her desperate lips, driving two fingers roughly into herself and pretending it’s Kara,  _ wishing _ it’s Kara, but it’s never enough because it’s  _ not  _ Kara

And Kara is the only thing on her mind when she does this, the confident strut of Supergirl, her solid biceps and abs, the golden hair and the dark blue eyes, dark pink lips, and she cries out from the agony of it all, cries out from the short-lived pleasure she can give herself.

Kara’s the only word on her lips when she finds release against her own fingers, hips bucking violently, lips trembling and eyes rolling back, and it’s still not enough because Kara isn’t there. She’s empty once more, longing for  _ Kara _ to be there, for Kara to hold her, to kiss her, and fill her up.

**_Save her now, before it's too late tonight_ **

She falls deeper.

Deeper into the black hole she’s created for herself, or deeper in love, she doesn’t know.

She sits at the edge of her balcony, at the edge of L-Corp’s roof, and looks down, the dizzying view giving her a rush of fear that almost feels good.

She imagines throwing herself off, dropping the many stories until her body lays broken on the floor.

She imagines how painless it would be, how easy and quick it would be to just free herself.

(It’s pathetic.)

**_Oh like the speed of light_ **

But Kara will save her, won’t she?

Lena looks at the concrete so many floors down, and she knows that Kara’s not going to let her die, not going to let her hit the ground and break half the bones in her body.

_ You’ll save me, right? _ she whispers, but the selfish part of her, the egotistical part just says that Kara’s listening, that Kara can hear every word she says.

And so she closes her eyes and doesn’t know if she’s imagining the soft flap of a cape in the wind.

**_And she smiles_ **

The smiles are all fake.

After all, how could she smile when the only thing left in her is darkness?

She gazes at the framed picture next to her bed of her and Kara. She had flipped it so it faced the other way, knocked it down so it was pressed against the nightstand. But somehow, it always ends up in her hands, her fingers lightly tracing over Kara’s gentle smile, and one almost appears on her lips, but she forces it away.

_ No. She doesn’t’ deserve your smile. Not after what she did to you. _

She tries to hate her. It’s so much easier that way.

(She never manages to.)

**_She's talking to angels, she's counting the stars_ **

Lena’s praying to a God she doesn’t believe in, looking up into the night sky and pleading to every entity to save her, help her, but it doesn’t work.

Not when she’s not even willing to save herself.

She does mindless things to pass time. She tries not to let herself think of Kara, but it’s impossible because she’s the only thing ever on her mind.

Lena throws herself into her work as if it would help. She drinks every day, filling her glass with fingers of whiskey and gulping them down. 

**_Making a wish on a passing car_ **

She still doesn’t look both ways before crossing the street.

She just steps off the sidewalk, and well, if a car honks at her, she doesn’t even flinch.

Head down, she crosses the road, back slumped and completely unrecognizable. 

(A part of wants to look up just in case it’s Supergirl stopping the car mere inches from her, and not the driver having the reflexes to floor the brake pedal.)

From the sidewalk, she eyes an approaching car, genuinely contemplating what would happen if she threw herself in front of it.

Would they care? Would the people care? Would her family care? Lex and Lillian? Would her friends care? Sam and Andrea? Would Kara care?

She doesn’t care about the answer to the first five questions because it’s only the last one that really matters.

By the time she starts moving, the car is long gone.

**_She's dancing with strangers, she's falling apart_ **

Sex doesn’t seem to help. Lena goes to the bar, drinks until she’s fully drunk, and stumbles into bed with some stranger whose name she doesn't bother to ask for. And it works, for a little bit. It works, until her thoughts are filled with  _ Kara _ in the throes of passion, Kara leaning over her, Kara, half-lidded with lust, Kara, kissing her neck, Kara, with her arms around her thighs and head between her legs.

Kara, making love to her.

And she falls apart because tape just isn’t enough to hold her together.

She falls apart at the bottom of the shower and watches liquid flow down the drain, tears and water swirling together until it’s completely unidentifiable.

She falls apart eyeing the razor that sits with her soap, looking longingly at its sharp blade and wondering if the sting of breaking skin would do anything to soothe the pain she’s feeling in her heart.

She falls apart at work, fingers clenched so tightly around a glass of scotch they’re shaking, clenching her jaw to stop her lower lip from trembling while she asks Jess to cancel her next meeting.

She falls apart at night, alone, three fingers knuckle-deep inside herself, eyes screwed shut, mouth parted and screaming Kara’s name like she’ll come knocking on the door if she’s insistent enough.

**_Waiting for Superman to pick her up_ **

Lena’s not sure if she’s hallucinating. She catches sight of a red blur at the corner of her vision, a small figure floating in the sky, silhouetted against the sun. She hears the flap of a red cape and the thump of boots hitting the floor.

And she thinks,  _ Kara _ .

Never once does Kara appear in front of her. Never once does she land on the balcony she builds specifically for her, never once does she knock on her door in the form of a timid reporter.

And the worst part is that Lena wants her to.

_ No, _ she clenches her jaw. 

(She seems to be doing that a lot lately.)

_ You pushed her away, you left, and you don’t deserve to have her back. No. She doesn’t deserve you either. _

**_In his arms yeah, oh in his arms yeah_ **

Kara stars in her dreams every night. Kara, eyes wide with shock and pain when Lena traps her inside the kryptonite-infused block of ice. Kara, hands raised by her head, expression one of absolutely desolation and agony as the cannons of Mount Norquay turn green and prepare to fire at her. Kara, sobbing, as she pleads with Lena through a hologram. Kara, expression colder and more lifeless than she’s ever seen, telling her she’ll treat her like a villain.

It breaks her.

But there’s also Kara, whispering that she’s kind-hearted and beautiful. Kara, holding her close and promising she’s never going to abandon her. Kara, tilting her head with a soft smile, enough to make her reveal a secret. Kara, never giving up on her when all the evidence pointed at her. Kara, her friend, her hero, her unrequited love.

Kara, kissing her, Kara, intertwining their fingers, Kara, holding her, Kara, touching her, Kara, falling apart under her. 

Kara, arms wrapped around Lena and nose to her shoulder, Kara, wiping the tears from her cheeks and whispering that  _ everything’s going to be okay. _

(Nothing is okay anymore.)

**_She's waiting for Superman_ **

Lena is not sure how much longer she can live like this.

She finishes a bottle of red wine by herself before stumbling out to her balcony that night.

Unsteadily, she leads against the wall, her forearms bracing her weight.

“Kara,” is all she can muster.

**_To lift her up and take her anywhere_ **

With trembling arms and tear-stained cheeks, she pulls herself onto the balcony until she’s standing precariously on the wall.

She wobbles.

She looks down and the world spins under her.

Her stomach lurches and her heart twists painfully in her chest, so painfully she gasps out loud and clutches at her heart like she can wrap her fingers around the source of agony and rip it out of her.

Her fingers scrabble at her chest, her chest that is so, so tight, restricting her, compressing her lungs, forcing the air out her.

**_Show her love and climbing through the air_ **

She draws one breath. Two. They’re shaky and gasping and shuddering and jerky. Three. Four. Her lungs can’t seem to fill up. Her tears don’t land on the floor that is nonexistent beneath her. They drop off the bottom of her chin and fall down, down, down into the night, into the darkness that swallows her pain almost greedily.

She wonders what it would be like to fall too.

Even then, Kara is at the forefront of her mind. Kara is the name, unspoken at the tip of her mouth and right behind her cracked lips.

Her heart increases its pace until it’s racing in her chest, pounding so hard it drowns out every other sound.

_ If Kara truly cares, she’ll save me. _

She jumps.

**_Save her now before it's too late tonight_ **

She closes her eyes.

She smiles.

And she falls.

**_She's waiting for Superman_ **

_ Supergirl _ is not the one she’s waiting for. No, definitely not Supergirl.

She’s waiting for  _ Kara _ , the dorky, easily flustered, adorable, grinning, golden retriever-like person, but also inhumanly intelligent and kind and optimistic, courageous and beautiful and a hero.

The breath is driven out of her as she lands.

Not on the floor, but in bent arms, carefully cradling her body like she’s not the one who hurt her countless times, holding her against a warm body that feels and smells so familiar.

“Kara,” she breathes, the same time the superhero whispers brokenly, “Lena.”

“How did you know?”

“I was listening to your heartbeat.”

They find their way inside, Kara wringing her hands anxiously, Lena shying away from the lights that are too bright, too artificial.

She turns them all off.

Lena turns to Kara, who looks like she wants to say something, looks like she wants to talk.

She doesn’t give her a chance to.

Because she’s waited long enough because she’s stalled long enough because she’s held it back long enough.

Lena kisses her, roughly, clumsily, and she almosts busts her lip and breaks her nose, but none of that matters.

And to her surprise, Kara’s kissing her back, open-mouthed, gentle, passionate.

She lets out a soft whimper, fingers scrabbling against Kara’s super suit, scraping at the nape of her neck, urging her closer although every inch of her body is already pressed up against her.

She complies without complaint, slipping her tongue inside Lena’s mouth, hands encircling her waist. She doesn’t protest when they stumble into Lena’s bedroom and Kara is slammed against the closing door, eyes closed, mouths moving rapidly, frantically, urgently.

Lena forces a leg between Kara’s, the blonde’s whimper at the contact sending heat rushing to her lower abdomen.

“Wait,” she gasps out as her hips buck against Lena’s thigh, “Wait. What- Can we-”

“Kara,” she whispers, voice breaking, “Can we talk about this tomorrow? Please? Just… please. We can talk later.”

She seems to hesitate, but Lena’s leg in between her own serves as a reminder of what’s happening, and all reluctance evaporates when she nods firmly, letting the fire and passion consume them once more as their lips connect.

They quickly find themselves on the bed, legs tangled, and Lena can’t stop the words that burst from her mouth, “I love you.”

It’s said with so much conviction,, so much urgency and truth Kara doesn’t have the heart to doubt the statement. She looks at the woman under her, blonde hair falling over her shoulders, and her eyes tell Lena everything she needs to know.

* * *

They talk. 

A lot.

And sometimes Lena has to stop to let the tears fall, to let the knife between her ribs wiggle a little bit so it can finally be pulled out. 

There’s guilt and sorrow and pain and regret and anger and the words  _ betrayal  _ and  _ lies  _ never make an appearance. There’s strength and courage and determination and love, so much love.

They talk during the day, meeting up for lunch almost daily. It’s not as easy as it once was. There’s silence, waiting to be filled with the soft  _ I love you _ ’s, space waiting to be filled with the pictures she threw away.

They love each other at night, holding and kissing and making love to each other, the silence always punctuated with genuine  _ I love you _ ’s and soft moans and whimpers.

Lena’s name is whispered and said and cried out from Kara’s lips and Kara’s name on hers, cries of love, of pleasure, of the pain that remains. 

They talk and they talk and they talk and they kiss until one day, it’s actually, truly  _ okay _ .

It’s not what it was like before; it’s never going to be like it was before.

But maybe it’s better.

And as Kara whispers into her skin that she’s not sure how she got so lucky, Lena murmurs back the same, pressing soft, tender kisses to her girlfriend’s head as she holds her.

_ I’m the luckiest girl in the world, _ she breathes, her heart beating steadily along with Kara’s, in time, as one.

Kara repeats the same, a determined pout set on her lips, eyes soft but deep, holding love and answers and promises.

They giggle as Lena argues back, brushing her lips tenderly on Kara’s hairline.

It’s not perfect.

But they’re  _ okay _ , and that’s enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this broke me 
> 
> hope it's angsty enough <3
> 
> would really appreciate it if you could point out any mistakes because it's late and I'm tired...


	14. midvale (is the place i found my home)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 14: Midvale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in this universe, Midvale is just outside Metropolis like it is (apparently) in the comics. Not much to do with the prompt, but it's set in Midvale, so I hope that's enoughhhh
> 
> Fluff. Pure fluff. Tooth-rotting fluff.
> 
> I'm 51 hits away from 3k thankuthankuthanku so so so so much ahhhhhhhhh screaming and it's like 2 am

Lena shows up at their front door at two o'clock in the morning.

Her eyes are bloodshot like she’s been crying, but she keeps her head tucked, and in the darkness of the night, it’s barely noticeable.

She seems to hesitate before she knocks quietly on the door, a part of her hoping no one will hear it.

The door swings open mere seconds later, almost as if someone had been waiting for her to knock.

To her surprise, it’s Kara who shows up at the door, not Eliza.

She’s dressed in baby blue pajamas, and her hair is ruffled as if she had just woken up. Her eyes are small, half-lidded from sleep, and her jaw parts in an adorable yawn as she reaches up to fiddle with her glasses, which are crooked as if they were hastily put on.

“Lena?” the blonde girl rubs her eyes under her glasses and peers closer at the figure. “What are you doing here?” Her voice is soft, bleary.

“Oh, did I wake you up? I’m sorry. I should just-”

“Lena?” An older woman, presumably Eliza, steps up behind Kara, looking almost equally as tired. She looks past the young girl and out on to the street, “Did you walk here from _Metropolis_?”

She nods and lifts her head for the first time, and Kara almosts gasps at her red eyes.

“What’s wrong, honey?” Eliza steps forward to pull Lena through the door, shutting it gently behind her as to not wake Alex up.

She takes a shuddering breath, her shoulders hunched, looking smaller than Kara’s ever seen her. Despite being several inches shorter, she always stood straight and radiated commanding energy that made her appear taller than she really was.

“My mom kicked me out,” she rasps finally, and the Danvers girls notice the backpack on her shoulders for the first time.

Kara gasps, “Why?” She winces, “Sorry, was that insensitive. It’s none of my business-”

“Kara.” Lena stops her with a surprisingly gentle smile, and it’s sufficient to say Eliza has never seen that from a Luthor before. “It’s fine.” The choked breath that comes next seems to say otherwise, however. “I… came out to my mom as a lesbian.”

“Oh.” Eliza looks worried but doesn’t say anything else.

Lena’s stomach lurches. If they send her back outside… 

“What’s a lesbian?” Kara asks curiously, eyebrows knitted together in confusion, and Lena suddenly wants to run a finger to smooth out the crinkle between her eyes.

“Kara,” her mother hisses.

“What?”

Lena has to laugh at her friend’s bewilderment. Sweet, innocent little Kara… 

“It’s okay. It’s when… a girl loves another girl,” she explains, wincing at the awkward way it comes out.

The younger blonde just looks adorably confused, “I love you. Does that make me a lesbian?”

Eliza just winces, and Lena’s face reddens just slightly. Kara hears the latter’s heart rate pick up but due to their reactions, she decides against pointing it out.

“No,” Lena says patiently, “So, you know how boys usually date girls and vice versa?” At a small nod of confirmation from her friend, she continues, “Well, a lesbian is a girl who wants to date girls, essentially. A girl who is attracted to other girls.”

“That’s stupid.”

Lena shrinks back, heart dropping.

“I mean,” she quickly amends when she sees her friend’s face crumble into a look of devastation, “it’s stupid that your mom would kick you out for that.”

“Yeah,” is all Lena can muster, her heart pounding with relief that Kara is fine with her homosexuality.

She frowns, “What’s wrong with that?” Her face is one of complete innocence, eyes wide and questioning.

The Luthor sighs, blinking quickly as tears begin to prick at her eyes once more, “Everything.”

“What?”

“People don’t like gays. Especially those with more conservative ideals. My mom always told me that Luthors weren’t gay, couldn’t be gay. She told me it was wrong, and these people would go to hell…”

“Gay?”

Lena chuckles, almost fondly, Eliza notices, “It’s usually used when a boy likes boys, but it’s just the general term for homosexuals, people attracted to the same gender.”

“Oh. Back on Kryp-” she clamps her mouth shut at the warning look at her mother, and just says, “I still don’t see anything wrong with that.”

She shrugs carelessly, “I don’t know. People just don’t like it for some stupid reason.” The Luthor tips her head back, jaw clenching as a single tear falls from her eye, and Kara reaches out to touch her friend’s arm, a soft touch of comfort.

She looks at Lena, “I’m sorry, Lee,” she whispers, the words no more than a mere breath, as if it would shatter her if it were any louder.

Eliza looks on silently, eyes widening with a gentle understanding when she watches Lena just _melt_ under Kara’s soft gaze, how the Luthor bites back a sob and steps into her daughter’s embrace, chin on her shoulder and eyes closed like she’s _coming home_. She notices the way Lena’s arms tighten around Kara’s waist, how when another sob wells up in her chest, she shuts her eyes tighter and she inhales deeply, sinking into her friend’s strong hug.

And _oh,_ Eliza sees it now, all of it. The soft blush on pale cheeks, the lingering glance, adoring smiles. She glances at Kara, who is looking at her mother with concerned eyes, and mouths, _Her heart is beating really fast._

That only confirms her suspicions, that the youngest Luthor is in love with her daughter. 

It makes an unexpected warmth swell in her chest despite the twinge of doubt at Lena’s last name, and she just gives her daughter a gentle smile before offering, “Lena, would you like to stay here until we can work things out?”

The young girl stands up straight and blinks at her, wiping away the moisture from her cheeks, “No, no. I mean, yes, but I can’t just intrude on your life like that.”

“Honey, it’s fine. Kara’s fine with it, see?”

The blonde girl nods vigorously, “You can sleep in my bed! It’ll be like a sleepover, every night!”

Eliza’s lips twitch at that, but there’s a concern too, especially when Lena’s eyes widen in something that resembles panic.

“If you’re okay with that,” she tells the teenager softly. She’s reluctant to put the two in the same small bed, especially considering Lena has feelings for her daughter that run much deeper than teenage attraction. She doesn’t want to see the poor girl’s heart get broken, but something tells her that Kara might actually return these feelings.

In which case, maybe putting them in the same bed would be a terrible idea.

They’re only sixteen, but she knows that Kara is very smart, and if possible, Lena is even smarter. She can only hope no poor choices are made.

“I- wow, thank you.” She sniffles, and it occurs to Eliza that she’s probably never felt this type of love or care from a parent, and her heart breaks for the dark-haired girl all over again.

“C’mon,” Kara says softly, gently, “I’ll show you my room. I share it with Alex, but we have separate beds.”

The older woman just watches with a faint smile as her daughter grabs the other girl’s hand delicately, slowly leading her upstairs.

Lena follows almost numbly, adjusting the straps on her backpack. Her palm is beginning to sweat, but Kara doesn’t seem to notice, fingers lightly interlocked with her own. It feels amazing, and it feels _right_ , and she knows it’s unfair of her to assume that Kara might return her feelings.

Their steps lighten when they get to the Danvers sisters’ room, the only light the moon, just barely illuminating Alex’s sleeping figure.

The blonde tugs her friend to her bed, and helps Lena set down her backpack at the foot of the wooden frame. Kara switches her lamp on silently, gesturing for Lena to sit on her bed. They sit cross-legged, facing each other.

“Won’t we wake Alex up?” Lena frets quietly.

Kara shakes her head, “She’s a deep sleeper, so it’s okay.”

“Oh. Thank you for letting me sleep here.”

“What are friends for?”

Lena hates the way her heart clenches.

“Right.”

“I’m so sorry you got kicked out.”

She almost laughs out loud, “Why are you apologizing for something you have no control over?”

The blonde shrugs, “I feel like I should be able to do more to help you. I mean, if you wanted I could fl- I could head over to your house and beat up your mom for you.”

Lena allows herself a low chuckle, “That won’t be necessary Kara.” There’s no indication she noticed Kara’s slip-up, and the Kryptonian relaxes.

“I still don’t see what’s wrong with you liking girls. On K- I never knew it was a bad thing.”

The Luthor frowns when Kara catches herself again, “Kara, can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you an alien?”

She swallows, “What?”

“You’re not from Earth, are you?”

She nods, just barely, eyes wide and anxious. “Is that a bad thing?”

“No, no, no, of course not. It’s just that earlier, you said ‘back on Kryp-’ before you cut yourself off, You also stopped yourself when you said something about beating my mom up for me.”

She bites her lip, and she catches her mom’s gaze, peeking through the shadows on the other side of the door. Eliza nods.

She takes a deep breath, “I’m Kryptonian. That’s why I stopped myself before I said ‘fly.’”

Lena looks stunned, “Like Superman? But, how? Krypton exploded four decades ago!”

“Yeah, well,” she wrings her hands before clenching them into fists, “My mom sent me and Kal- el, Clark, I mean. Superman, actually. Oh golly, please don’t tell anyone Superman’s real name.” Lena just dips her head, and so she goes on, “Krypton exploded before my pod could power up fully, and it knocked me into the Phantom Zone, a place where time doesn’t pass. I got stuck there for twenty-four years before something pulled me free and I crashed here.”

She bites her lip, trying to regulate her breathing as she remembers her days in the pod, pounding frantically against the near-unbreakable glass, her heart frozen mid-beat, the walls closing in on her…

“Kara! Kara, are you okay?”

She snaps from her thoughts, breathing slightly ragged, “Yeah,” she whispers, “Bad memories.”

“I’m so sorry, darling.” Lena’s eyes widen almost comically when the term of endearment slips out, but Kara doesn’t react, her gaze blank and fixed on their intertwined fingers.

“I’m okay now. Therapy helped a lot.”

“That’s good.”

“Can- can we lay down?”

The Luthor nods, shifting so her head rests on the pillow and her body is turned to face Kara, who mimics her movements, pulling the blanket over their close bodies.

The younger Danvers switches off the light, and the entire room is bathed in darkness, with the exception of the glow of the moon.

“Lena, can I ask you a question. You don’t have to answer.”

“Of course.”

“How did you know you were lesbian?”

Kara doesn’t miss the way her heart rate spikes at the question.

There’s no answer for a long while, and the Kryptonian opens her mouth to apologize, but Lena cuts her off.

“I guess I had- have feelings for someone. Definitely more-than-platonic feelings.”

“You like her?”

“Yeah,” Lena’s voice is soft, “I like her a lot.”

“What does it feel like to be in love?” Kara sounds almost awed.

The black-haired girl smiles tenderly, and if it weren’t for the alien’s acute vision, she wouldn’t have caught it. “It’s like… falling asleep. Slowly at first, and then all at once. And you don’t remember the exact point you passed from consciousness to unconsciousness, but you wake up and you realize you’ve fallen asleep. Fallen in love, in this case.”

“You sound like you know how it feels like to be in love. This girl, do you love her?”

“Yeah,” her voice cracks, “I’m in love with her.”

“What does it feel like? Is it nice?”

“It’s amazing, I think. When she’s around, it feels like there are butterflies in my stomach. I feel nervous, and my heart beats really fast. She makes me feel like I can hold the world in my hands. And when I hold her, it’s like I’m actually doing it because she means the world to me. She’s like my sun. Warm and bright, and it makes me think that things can be okay, even when it’s dark and cloudy. And sometimes, it’s hard knowing that she most likely doesn’t return my feelings, but I’m fine with that.”

“That’s amazing,” Kara sounds wonderstruck, “Have you told her you love her?”

“Not really.”

“Why not?”

“It's scary not knowing," she answers thoughtfully, "I’m terrified she won’t love me back. It’s easier just not knowing.”

“Oh. That makes sense. You don’t have to answer this, but who is it? Do I know her?”

“Mhm. I think you know her, Kara. Yeah, you definitely do. She’s really really smart and beautiful, really beautiful, and her eyes are really pretty. Like, when I look into them, it’s almost like I’m drowning, but not in a bad way.” She gazes intently into Kara’s eyes as she says this, their faces close enough so she can feel Lena’s breath on her mouth. 

“And sometimes, it’s like I have trouble keeping my head above water, almost suffocating me. She’s super nice, the nicest person you’ll ever meet, and she never makes me feel like I’m a bad person because of my last name. She gets excited really easily, and it’s adorable and endearing to see. She’s like the sun, radiating warmth and heat, but sometimes, remembering she most certainly doesn’t like me back burns me.

“She’s respectful and quiet when you ask, and her smile is so bright I almost have to squint to see it. She’s really pretty, oh, I said that already, but she’s hard not to look at. Her hugs are the best thing in the world, and walking into her arms is like walking into a home I never had. She bites her lip and plays with her fingers when she’s anxious, and when she’s confused, she gets this really adorable bewildered look on her face.” Her words grow slower as her eyes grow heavier. “She’s my everything, Kara. My world. And I think the only reason I don’t want to tell her is because I don’t want to lose her.”

“I think you should tell her.”

“Really?” Lena’s eyes are hopeful because maybe, just _maybe_ Kara got the hint.

Kara doesn’t respond, and the awestruck look fades from her eyes and is replaced by something she struggles to keep from bursting out of her. 

It hits her abruptly the air is almost knocked from her lungs, how much she wants to be the person Lena is describing, how desperately she wants Lena to say it’s her.

_If it was me, Lena would have said something, right?_

Her heart races in her throat, and her stomach flutters— butterflies, Lena had called it— just enough for her eyes to widen in realization. And the warmth in her chest and cheeks, she understands what that is now.

She’s in love, too. With Lena.

“Kara?” Lena’s concerned whisper breaks into her thoughts, “Kara, are you okay?”

She swallows, shaking the dazed look from her eyes, “What? Yeah, of course.” Her voice breaks, indicating the opposite.

“What’s wrong, darling?”

Her heart skips a beat. Even more so when Lena’s fingers find hers under the covers, squeezing reassuringly.

“I- I don’t know how to say it without you laughing at me.”

“I won’t laugh. Promise.”

She draws in a trembling breath. “I- I think I’m in love with someone too.”

Lena’s gaze falls, and her lips twist into something resembling a frown, “W-what?”

“Yeah,” she breathes, “It’s stupid, probably. But you were describing the girl you’re in love with and it just hit me that I wanted it to be me.”

The Luthor’s gaze snaps up, “You- you wanted it to be you?”

She nods glumly, “I’m so sorry, Lena.”

“No! Don’t be! I- Kara!” she laughs incredulously.

“You said you wouldn’t laugh,” she whispers brokenly, tears filling her eyes.

“No, no, I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing because the girl I described _is_ you.”

It takes her a long moment for the words to register.

“It’s you, Kara. I’m in love with _you_.”

 _It’s you, Kara_ echoes in her mind.

“M-me?” she stutters out.

“Yes!”

“You’re saying that you’re in love with me, too?”

“Exactly that, Kar.”

“I- I… wow.”

“I know, right.” The drowsiness in her gaze is replaced by a giddy look, so different from the girl with the bloodshot eyes who had shown up at her front door in the middle of the night.

"You think I'm beautiful?"

"The most."

“So what do we do now?” Kara wonders aloud.

“Well, when two people like each other, they go on dates. C-can- can I take you out on a date sometime?”

Kara blinks rapidly like she’s trying to check she’s not dreaming. “Yeah, i would- I’d really love that, Lena.”

She laughs lowly, and it fills Kara’s gut with a pleasant warmth, “I’d love that, too.”

The blonde just looks into her (girl?)friend’s eyes, now finally understanding what it means to feel like she’s drowning in her gaze.

“And also,” Lena’s voice is hesitant, “sometimes, people who like each other a lot kiss. Can I kiss you, Kara?”

“Of- of course.”

It’s a little awkward in their position, but she manages to tilt her head just enough so that their noses just brush softly, and their lips meet, softly, tenderly, perfectly.

It hits Kara all of a sudden, how _different_ it is from kissing anyone else. From that boy, James, she landed on playing ‘Spin the Bottle.’ From Mike in her Chemistry class. It’s not messy, like James’s kiss. Lena doesn’t try to force her tongue in Kara’s mouth like Mike did.

Her heart swells so much she feels like she’s going to burst, and she feels her breath hitch in her throat at the novel sensations flooding through her. Her eyes flutter closed, but as quickly as it begins, it’s over, and Kara is breathless even though nothing in her life on Earth has ever winded her enough to be out of breath. And even though she probably has at least a hundred years left to live (being a superpowered alien and all that), she knows, she just _knows_ like she knows her own name, that this is going to be her last first kiss.

“I-I- can I kiss you again?” she blurts out, and she only needs a small nod of consent before she leans in and lets their lips touch again. And again. And again.

They’re soft, pecked kisses, less actual kissing than exploring the feelings that race through their blood like fire.

She kisses Lena, again and again, and again, until she has to stop to catch her breath, until her lips are wet, and her heart is happy.

The kisses morph into something lazier, drowsier as they drift closer to the threshold of sleep, and Lena wraps an arm lightly around Kara’s waist and snuggles into her, nose pressed into her collarbone. The latter adjusts her head so it rests against Lena’s lightly, and it’s a little itchy but she’d sacrifice anything for Lena, her best friend, her first love, her everything.

“I love you, Kara,” Lena breathes so quietly Kara couldn’t have heard it without her superhearing.

“ _.:zhaoodh khap w rrip eh,_ Lena,” she murmurs as she presses a lingering kiss to her hairline.

“I love you more,” the former whispers with certainty, Kara’s intonation and adoring tone translating the foreign words perfectly.

“Impossible.”

“Oh, it’s possible.”

“Not when I love you more than the sun, moon, and all the stars combined.”

“And I love you to the edge of the ever-expanding universe and back a million times.”

“How about we just say that we love each other the same?” the blonde suggests sleepily.

“The same,” Lena agrees as her eyes close.

“Okay," Her mouth parts in a drowsy yawn.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I even need to explain what /.:zhaoodh khap w rrip eh,Lena,/ even means?
> 
> <3


	15. kale luvers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KALE LUVERS
> 
> Day 15: Kale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why am i actually proud of thinking up this idea somewhat on my own???
> 
> y'all, it's 2 am again i am officially a failure
> 
> short one because i started at like midnight smh and now it's the 16th

Kara wrinkles her nose at Lena’s salad, disgusted, “Ew, why would you order that?”

The latter rolls her eyes as she spears a piece of kale with her fork, “Because it’s healthy. And it’s good.”

The blonde looks horrified when Lena happily shoves the vegetable into her mouth, “It’s  _ green _ ! And there’s kale! They’re  _ leaves _ !” 

“Kale is good.”

Kara just looks outright offended as she digs into the first of three orders of sticky buns she’s eating for lunch. “Are you sure you’re not an alien?”

“Says the alien.”

“ _ Hmph _ . No  _ sane _ person would eat kale voluntarily.”

“I guess I’m insane, then.” Lena chuckles fondly, swallowing another bite of greens. “Hey, you know, if you combine the first two letters of our names, it spells ‘KaLe?’”

A crinkle appears between Kara’s brows as she ponders that, “Wouldn’t it be pronounced Kaw-Lee? Ew, cauliflowers. But like, kale is worse.”

“Ah, even better,” Lena swallows, sitting up straighter, “If you combine our last names you get ‘Luvers,’ which technically, would be pronounced ‘Loo-vers,” but it spells “lovers.” So we’re kale lovers,” she finishes proudly.

Kara’s lips quirk downward, “You’re the kale lover. I’m the kale hater.”

“What about kale lovers?” Nia pipes up as her and Alex approach.

“Oh hey, guys. Lena and I were just talking about how, if we combined our names, it spells ‘kale luvers.’”

Alex just looks confused, while Nia promptly chokes.

“What?” Lena says defensively, “I like kale.”

“Oh, hey, same!” Alex raises her hand for a high-five, “Kale lovers!”

Kara frowns, “Hey, that’s our thing! Although I guess it could fit with your names too...” She looks a little disappointed at the revelation, face falling a little bit.

It sends Nia into a deeper fit of giggles, and even Alex has to laugh at that.

“But I meant me and Lena’s thing,” the reporter clarifies, eyebrows stitched together, clearly wondering what she had said to make her sister and friend look so amused.

“I think they get that, darling,” Lena replies patiently, a polite smile on her face despite the bewildered look that is identical to Kara’s.

“Then why are they laughing?”

Nia finally recovers, rubbing her stomach, “I’m sorry, did we interrupt your date? We’ll go now, right Alex?”

Lena’s forehead creases, but the slight coloration of her cheeks doesn’t go unnoticed, “Date?”

Kara flushes red, bright red, “We’re not on a date!”

“Sure, sure, bye!”

Nia drags Alex out of the cafe, practically cackling.

“What was that about?” Kara looks adorably clueless and flushed, her cheeks warm.

Lena just shrugs, unable to meet her best friend’s gaze after the comment about a date.

“Huh.”

Meanwhile, Alex finds herself in the driver’s seat of her car. “So… what’s going on?”

“Kara and Lena have it  _ bad _ for each other!” The younger girl crows, “They’re literally shipping themselves. Oh, those useless lesbians.”

Alex’s brows furrow, “Please explain the Gen-Z terminology.”

Nia huffs, “Millenials. But shipping is like when you combine people’s names because they’re a cute couple or you think they’d make a cute couple. Like, hmmm, like, Clois, for Clark and Lois. Like how we always call them Karlena. That’s their ship name.”

“Oh! Like the time we said Karlena, and they both turned around? That was cute.”

“Yeah.” Nia taps her foot, musing, “But I’m starting to think Kale Luvers might be a better ship name. Okay, commence Operation Kale Luvers!”

“Nia,” Alex warns, “we are not meddling in their relationship.”

“But they’re so cute together! And they go on lunch dates all the time! You can’t say you don’t want your sister to be happy! Lena called Kara ‘darling,’ for heaven’s sake!”

The older Danvers sighs, “I mean, I can’t object to that.”

“Yay!” Nia whips out her phone and her fingers tap on the keyboard so fast it rivals Kara’s superspeed texting.

A minute later, Alex’s phone chimes, and she pulls it out to find herself added into a group chat with Nia, Sam, Winn, and James.

_ OPERATION KALE LUVERS IS A GO!!! _ reads the first message.

Win texts back immediately.  _ Kale luvers? _

_ Karlena, _ Alex clarifies.

Nia giggles.  _ Explain later. But they just shipped themselves!! _

Sam jumps in.  _ Yes yes yes I’m down! Lena hasn’t dated in years and I’m certain that’s because she’s in love with Kara _

“OhmyGod!” the half-Naltorian squeals, “They’re holding hands!”

Alex peers through the window discreetly, sinking lower into her chair as the clueless women walk past, “Oh, wow, they are. Are you sure they’re not dating already?”

Nia frowns, “That would ruin our meddling. But who cares? We’re so setting them up next game night.”

* * *

The dynamic of Game Night feels a lot more awkward than usual.

(Probably because after their “lunch date,” Kara and Lena seriously considered the idea of dating the other, thanks to Nia.)

There’s a visible space between the Super and the Luthor, almost as if they’re scared to touch. It’s highly unusual considering they’re almost always snuggled up against each other, even if it is subconsciously. Every time their eyes meet, Kara coughs awkwardly and their faces take on identical blushes.

It takes everything Nia has to not scream,  _ Just make out already! _ at her friends. 

Being the meddler she is, Nia suggests a game of Truth or Dare, giving the members of their  _ Kale Luvers _ group chat a conspiring wink that isn’t as subtle as she would like.

To the Superfriends’ disappointment, the two women pick truth after truth after truth, and even when Winn asks Kara if she loves Lena, she casually answers, “Of course. She’s my best friend.”

Alex is fast enough to capture the look of utter adoration Lena gives her sister with her phone.

And then finally,  _ finally _ , Kara picks Dare and the room almost explodes with the barely suppressed glee.

“I dare you to go into the closet with Lena for seven minutes.”

The Kryptonian’s eyes widen, and her cheeks redden furiously, “W-what?”

Lena, despite her faint blush, just looks confused, “It’s a pretty simple dare, darling. You can’t seriously chicken out now.”

Brainy just looks as utterly bewildered as the Luthor, but James has to excuse himself to “get more wine,” and Nia buries her face into a pillow. Alex bites her lip to stifle giggles, and looks, wide-eyed at Sam, who mouths _ oh Lord, she doesn't know what she’s getting into. _

Winn snickers, “Heh. In the closet,” and then disguises it for a cough when his friends glare at him.

“Sure.” Kara finally manages, walking slowly over to the closest closet like she’s going fall over any second.

They’re all at Kara’s loft, where the only closet is in her room, and so they go there, pulling open the sliding doors to reveal a space hardly big enough for a person.

“So, what are the rules?” Lena asks.

“You guys go in there for seven, and the lights stay off. We’ll let you out after seven minutes.”

“Why seven?”

Alex shrugs, “Just how the game works. Now, in you go.”

They shuffle in there, and then the door is promptly slammed shut, and the sound of retreating footsteps can be heard.

“What now?” Lena mutters. They’re standing close enough so every breath she takes tickles Kara’s mouth.

The blonde groans, pressing her forehead into her palm, “I should’ve known.”

“What?”

“Lena, they’re trying to set us up. Like, Alex and Nia, and probably Sam and Winn.”

“S-set us up?”

“They want us to be together,” she explains, her cheeks burning so hot she has to check her eyes aren’t igniting with heat vision. “Like… as in… dating, together,” she clarifies.

“Oh.”

“Yeahhhh. This is supposed to be seven minutes in heaven, which is when they lock two people in a dark room for seven minutes.”

“Well, that’s a boring game.”

Kara bites her lower lip, “Well, not quite. Because, you see… the people are supposed to, you know… kiss… and… make out,” she trails off.

“Oh. Well, we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

“Sure. I mean, yeah, I’m fine with not doing it if you’re not comfortable with it. I mean, I’m fine with it, but if you’re not..”

“You’re fine with it?” Lena blinks, her heart pounding. She knows for a fact that Kara can hear it with her inhuman ears, and she tries to slow her breathing with deep breaths.

Which doesn’t work because her breath hitches and it’s  _ loud _ .

“Well, yeah. I kinda want to, but like if you don’t, then we don’t have to. Like if you’re uncomfortable-”

“Kara.” The Luthor interrupts and then kisses her. 

It’s so unexpected her throat closes up and her knees buckle, and Lena barely manages to slip her arms around her. “Whoa, you okay?”

“Yeah,” Kara answers breathlessly, “You caught me off guard.”

“Was that okay?” she asks anxiously.

“Can we do it again?” is the blonde’s response, eyes fixated on Lena’s lips, or at least where her lips approximately are in the darkness.

“Yeah, of course.”

She shuffles forward until their lips touch again, eyes fluttering closed, and arms instinctively hooking around Lena’s body. It absolutely terrifies her, how good it feels, the ache that is slowly released from her chest when she realizes how long she’s been wanting to do this.

The kisses turn into something less chaste, something more open-mouthed and passionate, and Kara whimpers at the sensation of Lena’s tongue coming into contact with hers.

She abruptly jerks back, chest heaving, eyes wide, “Just to be clear, I like you. A lot. I think I might be in love with you? I don’t know. But I like you a lot, and I just wanted o make sure this isn’t just a friendly kiss,” she rushes out in a single breath.

Lena chuckles lowly, “I don’t think you can kiss someone in a friendly way, darling.”

“Oh. But you know what I mean. Like… friends with benefits?”

The raven-haired woman’s eyes widen, “Oh. We’re… not that. I don’t want us to be just friends. I don’t think I can live with that any longer.”

“So… you like me?”

“Yes, you dork. A lot. Might even go as far as to say I’m in love with you.”

Her smile is so wide that the net kiss Lena gives her lands on her teeth, but she quickly readjusts and wraps her arms back around the other woman’s waist to hold her close. Lena’s hands skip in her hair, tugging softly at the nape of her neck. 

Kara’s subsequent moan is muffled by Lena’s insistent lips, “I love you,” she gasps, the words slipping out.

(Because her brain is fried and there is no longer a filter between it and her mouth.”

Her eyes widen, “Oh, Rao. I didn’t mean- I mean, I think I meant it, but that just came out-”

She’s interrupted by cheering and the door flies open to the Superfriends clapping and hooting.

And chanting something that closely resembles ‘Kale Luvers.’

Lena jumps backward in surprise, back slamming into the wall, and Kara just stumbles into her clothes hanging from the rack.

The Superfriends are so busy high-fiving each other they don’t notice the girls venture out of the closet, blinking their eyes to readjust to the light.

“...what?”

“We’ve been trying to get you two together for weeks!” Nia chatters excitedly, jumping up and down. “Looks like we succeeded.”

“Hold up,” Lena frowns, “Did you guys have a camera or something in there?”

Winn grins, “Maybe.”

Kara groans, “You guys  _ planned _ this?”

“Yeah, and we weren’t going to let you out until you did something about your feelings,” Sam chimes in with a smile.

“Oh… wow.”

“Yeah.” Alex smirks at her sister, “Nice lipstick by the way.”

“I’m not wear-” She brings her fingers to her lips, and they come away slightly pink, the exact shade of Lena’s lips.

Her face goes crimson, and the Superfriends double over into another round of laughter, and she just meets Lena’s gaze with a small smile.

The Luthor returns the smile just as warmly, rolling her eyes fondly, and just drags Kara into another kiss.

They’re met by cheers, and Kara’s smiling so wide they have to stop, Lena’s chin falling on to her shoulder.

“We have the best friends,” the Kryptonian mumbles, arms tight around her new girlfriend(?)— Kara’s heart skips a beat at that thought.

“I know, right,” Lena giggles back, leaning back so she can wipe the smudged lipstick off of Kara’s mouth and chin.

Her eyes close contentedly as she leans her head resting lightly on Lena’s, “I like you better though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you believe i made it halfway through? because honestly, i can't.
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU FOR 3.2K I WAS LITERALLY GONNA SAY THANKS FOR 3K BUT SOMEHOW THERE'S LIKE 200 PEOPLE READING THIS AHHHHHHH
> 
> <3


	16. it's getting harder and harder, keeping my head above water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 16: Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry i'm a day late with this chapter :((
> 
> i felt like crap yesterday, so i went to sleep at 1 am instead of starting to write this... and today was a little better because my school just got 12th place overall in a national science olympiad invitational competition with like 203 teams... but not much energy. it's been hard the last few days... i think i burnt myself out trying to push out 3k-4k word chapters every day. not really an excuse, but it's all i got... 
> 
> today was so horrible... i wrote 800 words this morning, and they absolutely sucked, so i deleted them. and then i wrote 300 more, and deleted those, too. the 1500 i have here still suck, but i don't think i can do another rewrite...
> 
> it's 11:50... I'm 11 hours and 50 minutes late posting this prompt, but i got it up, so i hope that's okay
> 
> Chapter Title from "Head Above Water" by Olive James.

The one thing Kara’s always felt powerless against is water.

How there’s a natural cycle of water, from solid to liquid to gas to liquid to solid, from water to clouds and back. The rain.

They never had rain on Krypton. Not natural rain, at least. By the time Kara had been born, they had figured out how to control the weather, how to make it so the days were perfect and constant. They had made it so all water came from faucets and drains, from pipes where the liquid was redirected to. They created genesis chambers that artificially gestated babies and birthed them using water. They had figured a way to drain what little oceans they had of water and harness that to full capacity.

Kryptonians were almost the only species left on Krypton by the time Kara was born.

She had been fascinated when she arrived on Earth. The blue-green planet had animals, fish, birds, insects. They had oceans and pools, lakes and rivers and ponds.

It was so full of life.

And then it rained for the first time.

Kara was scared at first, watching the needles of water slam into the ground with a small splash, the water slowly soaking into the ground. It was so out of control, so unpredictable, and so she hid.

The first time she went out into the rain, the water soaked through her clothes and hair. She liked it.

The way the large droplets of water would strike her head and slowly run down her skin.

They never had that on Krypton. Not when every drop of water was put to use, for the genesis chambers, for agriculture, for power.

She grew to enjoy the unpredictability of it, how sometimes, the forecast would be wrong. And then the sky would cloud over and the skies would open up and pour.

She loved the way she could cup water in her hands, the fluidity of it. How it was cohesive and clung to other droplets. She splashed in puddles with soft giggles and let the cold seep through her clothes.

It was the closest she ever felt cold, and she liked that, being able to feel something humans did.

When it snowed for the first time, she looked out her window with wonder, noting how everything seemed brighter, even though the sun was hidden behind gray clouds.

She caught a snowflake on one finger and watched it melt back into water.

Kara grew up in a world that was considered primitive compared to her home planet, where everything was predictable and regular, constant.

She would throw rocks into a lake when the Danvers family went camping, watching the ripples. It fascinated her, how by disrupting one point in the smooth surface, she could send the rest of the water descending into chaos, into movement.

But nothing, not the unpredictability of rain, not the way everything rippled out from the point of contact could prepare her for the storm that is Lena Luthor.

It started off easy. So easy. Too easy, almost.

It was so easy to talk to Lena, to smile and laugh, to enjoy herself.

Lena didn’t know Kara’s alter ego; she didn’t know Supergirl.

And she loved her for Kara.

There were times when the soft currents would shift into waves that churned with foam, that splashed a little too violently against the rocks. But it always calmed down.

And then Lena found out she was Supergirl and it all came crashing down on her.

She should’ve seen it. 

She should’ve seen the tsunami coming after the earth shook under her feet.

But she didn’t, and it caught her off guard.

And now she’s drowning, head tipped upward so the water doesn’t fill her nose. Because despite being the champion of Earth, despite being the strongest and almost the fastest, she still needs air. And so she tips her head back to keep her head above water, to keep the tears from spilling from her eyes and adding to the liquid that drowns her.

Her arms and legs churn rapidly to keep her afloat, legs kicking, arms pushing against the water that is the only thing that offers her any resistance.

Sometimes, she drops under and the world goes mute. And even with superhearing, the water around her is enough to drown out the soft conversations, the soft laughs. The calm heartbeat.

Every indication that Lena is doing perfectly fine without her.

And she wants to believe that her ex-best friend is struggling just as much as she is, but she’ll fly past her office or her penthouse, now reinforced with lead-lined curtains, and she’ll hear the contented sigh, the low chuckle, the calm heartbeat.

The water rises just a little bit more.

Sometimes, it rains.

The water rises, just a little bit.

And the water, the calm water will start to move as the droplets rain down, like a stone dropping into the quietness of still waters. Everything ripples outwards, and Kara finally understands collateral damage.

She had stood, knee-deep in perfectly still waters, and thrown a rock in the middle. And as always, the water moves to accommodate the addition, and waves are created, pushing outwards until the once-still waters are in movement.

Water is neutral. Water doesn’t help anyone nor harm anyone in particular. But Kara feels like it’s against her, when she flies, and rain pelts down, soaking through her hair and weighing down her already-heavy cape.

When she gets high enough, the rain turns into hail and when the ice strikes her, it almost hurts.

She walks outside and the water comes down she doesn’t have time to prepare for it, doesn’t have time to take a breath now before it’s too late later.

Some days, she manages to stay up. Some days, she manages the energy to fly a little bit and keep her head by the top of the box she’s stuck in.

The box Alex had been slowly drowning in when she was kidnapped because of Kara

The little box Lena had probably shoved her in as if she were just one more minor inconvenience.

She feels like she’s drowning.

Kara is powerful; there’s only truth in that statement. She lifted Fort Rozz and threw it into space, she stopped a massive ship from flying into space, she flew around the Earth at a speed fast enough to slow its rotation.

But she’s helpless against herself.

It’s hard when her tears slip into the water, and she tells herself _it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s only one drop._

But it’s always been the little things that mattered. The little things, the little droplets that pool into an ocean, the little cracks that merge into a massive fissure that is beyond fixing. The little things, the smile Lena seemed to reserve just for her, the tender looks, the soft touches although she had always told others to refrain from touching her. The little things were the things that had made her fall in love with her best friend.

Ex-best friend, now.

Her head feels like it’s fully submerged now, and her lungs begin to ache. It’s been a while since she took that last breath since she landed on the balcony of Lena’s penthouse and told her that she was accountable for her own actions.

And one day, out of nowhere, Lena shows up at her loft, knocking on the door.

She doesn’t bother to use her x-ray vision to check who’s on the other side because the knocks belong to Lena. The slightly increased heartbeat belongs to Lena. The soft taps followed by a silence that means the person was waiting patiently, that’s all Lena.

Bubbles escape her nose. 

It’s so much harder to hold her breath when she can see the surface, see where she can break through the ice that’s trapped her under.

Her lungs strain and more bubbles burst from her chest, and _dammit_ , she doesn’t want to die, so she opens the door.

And takes a long-awaited breath.

She almost chokes on it halfway; the air hurts. It stings like swallowing thorns when the welcome air is sucked into her dry throat, and she has to fight not to go back under instead of pushing through it. She has to fight not to close the door in Lena’s face.

The rain stops, but tears fall.

Every cell in her body urges her to be careful, to put up a wall, just in case, to think before she acts.

But it’s easy.

It’s too easy.

It’s too easy to let her back in.

It’s too easy to let her back in and trust her because it’s always been.

And when Lena steps into her loft for the first time since the betrayal, she steps back into Kara’s heart, too.

Maybe she’s a little cold, her fingers and toes a little numb.

But her head’s above water, and she can breathe.

Getting warm and dry can come later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know, i know, it's one huge depressing inconsistent metaphor, but i couldn't do much better :(
> 
> also, sad boi hours are usually my prime writing hours, but i just couldn't get words out today or yesterday and it was just so horrible...
> 
> sorry about the tense switches though... past events vs present events... and I'm too lazy to check if it makes sense, so if someone could point out any mistakes, that'd be lovely. thank you.
> 
> thank you guys so much for 3.5k hits! it means the world to me...
> 
> <3


	17. i never knew i could hold moonlight in my hands 'til the night i held you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 17: Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter turned out a lot smuttier than i intended (although there really isn't any smut unless you count implications that leave everything up to the imagination smut)... but hey i was actually inspired
> 
> definitely felt good to write
> 
> two chapters within three hours, woohoo! 
> 
> **this chapter should probably bump up the rating to mature, but i think there's honestly nothing a teen can't read... but here's your somewhat mature warning anyway**
> 
> Chapter Title from "Moonlight" by Ariana Grande.

Kara’s not completely sure how Supergirl and Lena Luthor became friends with benefits.

Well, less of the friends part.

_ Kara _ is her friend, but Supergirl is a whole different person to Lena, and that… complicates things, to say the least.

The first time, Kara had dropped by because Lena’s assistant, Jess, had asked her to.

She’s exhausted from Snapper being in a bad mood and fighting an alien that almost made her blow out her powers, so she’s not thinking when she lands on Lena’s balcony in her super suit, carrying Big Belly Burger.

She pushes her way inside, and it isn’t until Lena greets her with a tired, “Supergirl,” does she realize what she’s done.

“I brought you dinner. I’ve been told you don’t eat when you work late.”

The Luthor looks up, black circles around her eyes, looking sad. She has no makeup on, but it hits Kara right there that she’s still the most beautiful person she’s ever seen.

Her breath catches, and she suddenly forgets how to speak.

“Thank you, Supergirl,” she says wearily, and it’s then she realizes she’s slightly slurring.

“Have you been drinking, Miss Luthor?”

“Not that much,” the woman mumbles, pointing to a bottle of wine that is almost completely empty.

Something tells her that’s not the only thing she’s been drinking.

“You need to eat. C’mon.” Supergirl nudges the greasy bag towards Lena, who just blinks at it.

“You’re eating it with me, then.”

“Fine.”

(Kara tries to hide her excitement at the prospect of food.)

She hands Lena the burger, which she eats slowly. The superhero devours the burger in two minutes flat, mouth full most of the time. She only looks up from snatching fries and shoving them into her mouth when she hears a low chuckle.

“What?”

“You remind me of Kara Danvers,” is all she says, the look in her eyes a little sadder than before.

“Yeah?” she almost whispers.

“Yeah,” Lena responds, and suddenly they’re kissing, but Kara’s not sure how they got there.

She knows she should push away, say something like  _ we shouldn’t _ , but a single touch, and Kara’s gone to the point of no return.

It gets heated, fast, and despite being the strongest person in the world, she’s powerless to stop what’s happening.

Her heart races in her chest, faster and louder than she’s ever felt it before. She barely remembers that she has to be gentle or she’s going to hurt Lena. Fire sears through her veins pleasantly, and she’s lost, so lost in the other woman’s eyes, those kryptonite colored eyes, her kryptonite.

Somehow, they end up in the bedroom, food forgotten, almost ripping clothes in the haste to undress.

“Are you sure?” she barely gasps out before Lena silences her with a drunken, sloppy kiss.

When she flies away in the middle of the night (after saying goodbye to a sleepy Lena), her lips are swollen, her hair is messy, and the area between her thighs is still sticky and warm.

Her chest aches.

The second time, Lena calls Supergirl to her penthouse.

She’s in the middle of putting out a fire when she hears the signal from Lena’s watch. Her heart jumps, and she puts out the flames in record time, before flying over to her best friend’s home.

She’s barely through the balcony door before she’s met with a kiss, hands tugging at her soot-covered suit without questioning why it’s gray. 

“What-” she barely manages to get out before Lena pulls away, eyes slightly bloodshot, chest heaving.

“Please,” she croaks, “just kiss me.”

So she does.

She doesn’t recoil when Lena’s lips taste like whiskey, just kisses her harder, and pretends that everything’s okay.

It’s different this time, and Kara’s not sure why.

After one round, Lena’s crying, fresh tears falling over the trails of old tears, and Kara asks if she wants to stop, but she shakes her head and kisses her again, harder, more insistent.

She leaves physically satisfied, although her heart hurts.

The third, fourth, and fifth times are the same.

She arrives to a tipsy Lena, and sometimes her eyes show that she’s been crying.

Kara always checks that Lena’s okay before she allows herself to be swept off her feet, hands gentle until she’s urged to go harder, go faster.

She always listens.

The sixth time is different, though.

Lena’s completely sober. Her cheeks are still wet, and her hands are clenched so tightly her knuckles are white. Her bottom lip is held captive between her teeth, bite marks littering the lower lip.

When Kara gently uncurls her fists, she finds three fingers still glistening and sticky with moisture, as if she had been touching herself before

“Please,” is all she says before Kara sweeps them both to the bedroom, tugging off her own suit.

Lena looks at her, eyes crazed, chest heaving, and every few breaths her breath hitches like looking at her is painful.

She tugs at Supergirl’s hair, harder than normal, so hard it almost  _ hurts _ , but she doesn’t complain.

Lena’s hips rock almost violently against Kara’s hand, against her thigh, against her tongue, and she tumbles over the edge sobbing, a fist clamped over her mouth to muffle the cry that erupts from her chest.

Each time, Kara stops and asks if she’s okay, and Lena nods frantically, pausing to take a breath before they start again.

She asks Supergirl to stay the night, to hold her, and after a second’s hesitation, she does. She wipes her fingers on the sheets, and nods silently, opening her arms so Lena can fit between them perfectly.

Lena is silent the next morning, just nodding wordlessly when Kara tells her she’s going to go.

She’s worried about her best friend, but she doesn’t know what she can do, not when she’s the same around  _ Kara _ , all smiles and clever quips.

The seventh time she’s called is the night after the sixth. Her brows furrow in worry; Lena’s never called her twice in a week, let alone twice as in many days.

She lands, and again, Lena is completely sober. But her eyes brim with tears as she touches herself frantically. Supergirl can only watch with a mixture of concern and arousal when she falls apart with a loud sob.

“Supergirl,” the Luthor gasps out, “Need you. Please.”

And she gives it to her like she always does.

It’s the same as the night before, insistent, frantic, almost panicked.

But she takes care of Lena like she always does.

But tonight is worse than the others combined.

It takes three,  _ four _ for Lena to start sobbing, hips bucking wildly against Kara’s hand.

She’s about to stop, about to pause and wait for any indication of what Lena wants, but with a tear-soaked face, she whimpers, “Don’t stop.”

She slows her movements a bit, to give Lena time to recover, but a hand clamps on her wrist, and she almost shrieks, “Don’t. Stop.”

It only takes a second of hesitation for Lena to start moving on her own, and Kara has no choice to match her thrust for thrust, heart pounding with worry now.

When Lena comes for the fifth time that night, one hand buried in Kara’s hair, the other scrabbling at the bedsheets she cries out, moans and gasps and whimpers filling the room, but there’s one distinct sound that makes her freeze and her blood run cold.

“Kara.”

Her fingers slow, and Lena slumps, limp on the mattress, and she just gapes down at her friend, stuttering a barely coherent, “W-what did you say?”

Her eyes snap open, and she blinks for a second, horror and shame slowly filling the pale green eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Lena gasps, barely managing to push herself into a sitting position against the headboard, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so-” she breaks off as a sob explodes from her chest, so guttural Kara flinches, “sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t- I can’t-”

Her teeth attack her bottom lip so viciously Kara sees blood, barely visible as the ocean of tears slowly bleeds into it.

“Lena?” she whispers softly, and it’s the first time she’s called her by her first name as Supergirl.

The woman is shaking now, back hunched, eyes half-lidded, her body just  _ shaking _ silently as tears spill down her face.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no, why are you sorry?”

“I- I said- you know what I said!”

“Lena, look at me,” she says firmly, cupping her friend’s face in both her hands.

“No,” she whispers hoarsely, “I can’t.”

“Look at me,” she says softly, but it’s commanding, it’s an order, and so her eyes drift upwards.

“I- I,” Lena stutters weakly, almost shamefully, the utter agony in her eyes burning holes in Kara’s heart.

“It’s me, Lena. It’s me.”

“K-kara?”

“I’m here.”

“Kara?” she asks again, eyes wide, breaths shallow and rapid and ragged.

“Kara,” she confirms, pressing a soft kiss to Lena’s forehead without thinking.

The Luthor’s eyes close, and she melts into her touch, her breathing slowly lengthening until it’s even and calm.

Her heartbeat finally slows, and Kara shifts her into a laying position when she realizes she’s asleep, head on the pillows, throwing the covers over the naked body.

She climbs in next to Lena, realizing her own cheeks a little wet.

The dark-haired woman scoots closer to her, burying her head into her neck. “Kara?” she whispers softly.

“I’m here, Lena, I’m here,” she breathes.

Lena relaxes, and she drifts back into sleep.

Kara’s convinced she’s not going to get any sleep, not going to be able to close her eyes after the events that transpired, but she finds herself sinking into Lena’s touch. Lena’s skin is warm and soft, so soft against hers that she drifts into a deep slumber.

They’re both woken the next morning by the sound of a siren outside, and Kara mumbles a quick apology as she scoots away from Lena.

“Go get it,” she rasps, eyes so swollen they remain closed. 

“You’re not going to work today, Lena,” Kara presses a soft kiss to Lena’s forehead, and she lets out a sleepy murmur of agreement. “I’ll be back.”

She gets into her suit and darts out from the balcony, pricking her ears to listen for the scene of the crime.

After putting the robbers in handcuffs and turning them over to the police, she flies immediately back to Lena’s place.

Oddly, when she gets back, it’s just like the other seven times she landed on the balcony. She’s greeted with a kiss that quickly turns into something more, and they’re on the bed again.

It feels different though, now that Lena  _ knows _ . It hasn’t really been acknowledged— Kara suspects Lena wants to hold it off for as long as possible and just enjoy their moments before it gets awkward and painful— but it’s different nevertheless.

It doesn’t feel like  _ just sex _ . It’s gentler, slower, more passionate.

And when Lena’s hips jerk against her own, she presses her forehead against Lena’s, eyes screwed shut and mouth parted.

“I love you,” is gasped into the room, and Kara doesn’t stop because she’s not sure whose mouth it comes from. Only when she notices Lena’s wide eyes, filled with a little panic does she realize she didn’t say it.

She tries to pretend she didn’t hear it, not slowing down until they’re both panting and limp on the bed.

Kara rolls off Lena, just gazing at the other woman while they both recover.

Eventually, they’re both quiet, just staring into each other’s eyes. Pale green eyes hold hints of panic and fear, and unmistakable anguish and Kara doesn’t even hesitate before she blurts out:

“You’re beautiful.”

Lena’s breath audibly hitches and her heart warms, and even though Kara doesn’t say those three words, she lets herself hope for a minute.

Because beautiful means something.

She’s been called hot, sexy, gorgeous, stunning, countless times, by men she passes on the street, by men in her office when they place their hands lower than they should and give her a wink that is not subtle at all.

But beautiful…

_ Beautiful  _ is genuine,  _ beautiful  _ is sincere,  _ beautiful  _ is laced heavily with a meaning that is built on love.  _ Beautiful  _ is something and everything and anything in between, and Lena lets her heart warm.

“Really?” she whispers hopefully.

“Really,” Kara answers softly, craning her neck to press a soft kiss to the other woman’s lips.

“Thank you,” she breathes achingly, eyes begging Kara to acknowledge her outburst, those three words she put her entire being behind.

There’s silence. Lena doesn’t stop hoping, even if it means she might be hurt and let down and broken into pieces too small to ever be picked up.

“Lena?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

There it is.

And it’s beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um i'm probably far too young to be writing something like this but hey it wrote itself so I'm not complaining
> 
> sorry if it was a little too much?? i actually kinda like this chapter...


	18. you're my happy ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the selection au no one asked for
> 
> Day 18: Garden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know what happened but it's 3:30 am and i have 6000 words
> 
> granted, it's 6k words of utter crap that really has nothing to do with the prompt, but i just felt like writing it because the moment i saw the word "garden," it reminded me of that scene where America panics and tries to go outside in the original book. turns out it's not even a garden and just... outside, but then i had to to a selection au
> 
> I'm sorry it's so long alksdfjdslkf the first like 2k words are just exposition and explaining because no everyone has read the selection series
> 
> also: i kinda stole dialogue and stuff from the selection, the heir, and the crown... which i guess explains why it took 6k works ahaha i just wrote out the arc of two whole novels
> 
> and i just reread this and it's all simple sentences of narration *sobs* i kinda wanna rewrite this and post it as a stand-alone
> 
> one more thing: AHHHHH I'M AT LIKE 4K BUT LIKE 63 VIEWS AWAY HOWWWWWW YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING INSANE LOVE YOU <3
> 
> edit: this chapter has now been edited to include hover-over translations :)

“A  _ what _ ?” Lena almost shrieks.

“A Selection,” her mother says calmly. “People are getting restless after we eliminated the caste system. We need a distraction. A way to boost morale.”

“Oh, so  _ I’m _ the distraction?”

“Don’t be dramatic, Lena,” she chides. “You’re overreacting. It’s only going to be three months, enough to find you a husband, and not,” she wrinkles her nose, “some woman. Thorul needs a king.”

It’s not that her parents organized a Selection for her without her permission. It’s that she doesn’t want to fall in love. Even if she didn’t, she would be forced to spend the rest of her life with a man.

“No! That’s just insane! You said you would marry me off just to build some alliance with another country. This isn’t any better!”

“You’re being irrational,” she replies, unaffected.

“I’m not doing it!”

“Calm down-”

“Don’t speak to me as if I’m a child!”

“You’re acting like one.”

“What about Dad? What does he think?”

Lillian shrugs, “He’s fine with it.”

“What?”

“Why do you have to be so stubborn?”

“Hmm, I wonder where I got that from,” snarks back.

“Just consider it, please.”

“Why not Lex?”

“You’re the firstborn. It’s custom. He’s not going to be king.  _ You’re _ going to be queen. Besides, he has Eve already. It’ll be great to solidify the peace between Thorul and Kasnia.”

“I don’t want to get married.” Her voice takes on a pleading edge, and she knows it’s futile to argue. “I’m barely eighteen.”

“The same age I was when I married your father.”

“I don’t want a husband. Please.”

“It’s better than a wife,” her mother shoots back, and she bites down on her lip to refrain from lashing out.

“Don’t do this to me. Don’t make me do this.”

“You’re doing something for your people,” she says firmly.

“Oh, so like faking a smile when I’d rather cry?”

“That’s in our job description. And Luthors don’t cry.”

She lets out a resigned sigh, “Do I have a choice?”

“Well, you technically have twenty.”

“How about, I guarantee you a timeline? I’ll keep this running for, I don’t know, three months, and I’ll promise to try.”

“Hmm. Three months… and you’ll promise to try your hardest?”

“Promise.” is all she says, chest deflating. It’s not like there’s anything she can do to fight it.

“Okay, three months, then whether you fall in love or not. We’ll invite twenty men from all over the kingdom and one will have the honor of becoming your husband and king of Thorul.”

“Okay.” 

“Good. I shall go speak to your father, then.”

“Take your time,” she grumbles under her breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, mother. Have a nice day.”

***

Lena plasters on a fake smile for the cameras as soon as she walks into the room, twenty large baskets situated in front of her.

“Just pick one from each basket,” her father, Lionel, instructs quietly, “You will open them tonight live on the Report.”

She adjusts her tiara and brightens her smile to hide the churn in her stomach. It feels daunting for a task so simple.

She breathes slowly, walking up to the first basket, which is labeled  _ Metropolis _ . 

One by one, she pulls out an envelope and hands it to her father, until she reaches a basket with only two inside.

“Krypton,” her dad says quietly, and that’s all she needs to hear before she pulls out the one on top.

There’s not much left of Krypton at this point. Not after the water ran green with a poison they coined as kryptonite. Only a few families still survive in the barren land.

She continues until twenty envelopes have been fished out of the baskets, smiling widely for the cameras that continue to flash.

_ Just a few insignificant months, and I’ll go back to ruling the nation… hopefully without a man,  _ she tells herself as the camera crews pack up.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Her mother smiles at her, but it does nothing to ease her mind.

That night, she sits on stage, in front of multiple cameras and lights. Only practice allows her to keep her eyes open against the glaring lights.

She pulls open the first envelope with a forced smile, “Mr. Winslow Schott from Starhaven.”

The second. “Mr. James Olsen from Calvintown.”

The names go on, names she’s never seen before, names she has trouble pronouncing and feel strange on her tongue.

Maxwell Lord. Oliver Queen. Barry Allen. Benjamin Lockwood. Clark Kent. Mike Matthews.

She doesn’t look at any of the pictures. She doesn’t want to feel disgust, doesn't want to admire some who are probably decent-looking.

Her hands are slightly shaking and her cheeks ache by the time her fingers find the last one. “From Thorul… Mr. Jack Spheer.”

She fights to keep the smile on her lips, but her heart drops, and she doesn’t even have to look for Jack to hear his reaction.

Her smile disappears as soon as she steps off that stage, glaring at Jack.

“What the hell?” he protests, “I didn’t put my name in there.”

“Can we just replace him?” Lena asks, resigned.

“No! You announced his name on live television. You can’t go back now.”

“Well, then I’ll just eliminate him in the first round.”

“And where will I go?” he snorts, “I live in the palace.”

“You’re the representative from Thorul,” she says tiredly, before turning away to return to her chambers.

The next Monday, the boys arrive, and she practically locks herself in her bedroom until her maid, Samantha Arias comes to dress her.

“Excited?”

“No,” she answers bluntly.

Her hair and makeup are done, and she slips into a dark red dress that almost touches the floor.

She situates herself at the front of the room, smoothing her clammy hands over her dress, inhaling slowly.

“Ready?”

“Bring the first one in.”

The door opens, and a dark-skinned man walks in, eyes trained on the ground until he stops a few paces in front of her.

“Mike Matthews, Your Highness.”

“A pleasure.” She tries not to appear too disinterested.

“You look lovely.”

“So I’ve been told. Men’s Parlor is that way.”

His eyebrows furrow, but he leaves without protest.

“Maxwell Lord, Your Highness.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

He nods, “I hope I can prove myself worthy of the throne.”

She almost winces. A man after the throne rather than herself.

“Oh, and how will you do that?”

“I come from a very high family. My father was a Two.”

“Yeah? My father is a One. You may go.”

His cocky smile falters, and she fights the urge to roll her eyes when he hesitates before leaving.

Boy after boy filters in, and she has to fight to keep the bored look from taking over her face. Jack appears at some point.

“Your Highness.”

“It’s ‘Royal Pain in the Ass’ to you,” she grumbles, biting back a chuckle.

She mumbles a few words to him before she sends him away, straightening herself for the next one.

“Your Majesty.”

“Your Highness,” she corrects.

“Nope. Just James,” he smirks, and she just lets out a laugh.

“That was terrible.”

He shrugs, “It worked. I needed to do  _ something _ if I wanted you to remember me.”

She smiles, one that’s not fully fake, “It’s nice to meet you. Men’s Parlor is that way.”

“Thank you.”

“Just one more, Your Highness,” a guard calls, and she slumps in relief,

She frowns when it’s not one person who walks in. There’s two. 

A man, dressed in a nice suit stood in front, a warm smile on his face. A woman trails behind him, eyes averted. She only wears a simple dress.

“Your Highness,” he greets, voice heavy with an unidentifiable accent, “ _ bythgr kir ? _ .”

She frowns.

“How are you?” he asks hesitantly, English a little broken and barely comprehensible.

“I’m okay,” she replies slowly. “I’m sure it’s been a good day for you.”

The woman behinds him leans to his ear and murmurs, “ _.nahn khuhp w voi _ . _ nahn khuhp w veun nahnehth gehd w zehtiahr :bem ni rraop osh ?" _

“ _ Zhi ? _ ,” he answers enthusiastically. “Yes. Meeting you… nice,” he stammers out.

“He says, ‘Nice to meet you,’ the translator explains.

“Ah,” her mouth twists into something resembling a frown.

“I am Kal-El,” he says.

“Kal-El?”

“Clark Kent,” the translator explains quickly, and she finally looks up. Lena almost gasps at how blue the woman’s eyes are. “He prefers to go by his Kryptonian name, Kal, though. I’m sure you know what happened to… Krypton,” she explains nervously.

She nods, turning to Clark, “Hello, Kal-El.”

His eyes brighten.

“I notice you don’t speak too much English. Are you from Krypton?”

“Uhm… yes, Krypton,” he says, and then looks to the woman behind him for help.

She nods, “Sir Clark was born in Krypton, and you know how closed off it is. He only speaks Kryptahniuo.’

“How are we supposed to get to know each other, then?”

Kal-El turns and points to the woman, who answers, “Through me, I guess.”

She just nods, not knowing how to interact with them. Trying to bond is hard enough, but having a third person there makes it much harder.

“Thank you,” she says politely, “It’s nice to meet you. Men’s Parlor is over there.”

The translator seems to hesitate, before following, and Lena just blurts out, “Wait!”

They both turn around. “Kal, you can go. I need to speak with your translator.”

The woman murmurs, “. _gahvodh khuhp rrosh rraop eh,kahl-ehl, ?” _

The man nods, scurrying out of the room.

“Your Highness,” she curtsies once he’s out of the room.

“You’re his translator, Miss…?”

“Kara,” the woman gives her a disarming smile, adjusting her glasses. “Just Kara is fine. And, yes, I am his translator.”

“Are you Kryptonian as well?” Lena’s not sure what brings her to ask this, but she’s a little intrigued.

“Yes.”

“How do you speak English so well, then?”

“Ah,” the woman flushes a little, fingers fiddling with her glasses again, drawing attention to those vibrant eyes. Lena has to shake herself out of the sleight trance she’s in. “I grew up in Krypton, with the House of El, but I left when I was thirteen. Too lonely, I guess. I went to Midvale, where I learned English.”

“Impressive.”

She blushes again. “Um. thank you. What was it you wanted?”

It occurs to her then she’s not completely sure why she called the woman back.

“Nothing really,” she mutters, feeling her own cheeks heat slightly, “I’m glad you decided to help him.”

“Well, he’s my friend. And my cousin.”

“Ah. It’s nice to meet you, Kara.”

“You too, Your Highness.”

“It’s just Lena,.”

***

Lena retires to her chambers after dinner, and has Sam and her other maid, Andrea remove her tiara and take down her hair. She slips into something more comfortable, a nightgown, and dismisses them.

Her mind flickers over from boy to boy, noting the ones she knows she’s going to eliminate, and others who she’ll probably keep just because they’re a little more bearable to be around.

She tries to sleep, but she’s wide awake, so she kicks off the covers and heads outside.

She wanders the halls barefoot, the carpet soft between her toes and the wood cold against her feet.

A slight commotion from around the corner makes her speed up her pace, and she finds a woman, Kara, struggling.

She’s held back by two guards, by she scrabbles for the door, chest heaving and cheeks wet.

“I just want to go outside,” she gasps, falling to her knees. “I- I can’t breathe.”

She strides forward, head high, “Let her go.” 

It’s full of authority, but the guards hesitate. “Your Highness, she collapsed. She wants to go outside.”

Kara turns to her with a nervous look, but her watery eyes just stare pleadingly at her.

“Open the doors.” It’s quiet but full of unmistakable authority.

“But-”

“I said open the doors, Now.”

“Of course, Your Highness.” The sound of keys can be heard and the door is pushed open.

Kara scrambles forward, first on her knees, before pushing herself to her feet and running outside.

Lena watches with worry as she staggers through the garden, stumbling barefoot through the stone pathway between the flowers.

She only manages a few steps before she collapses in front of a bench, nightgown splayed under her body. She begins to cry almost silently, quiet gasps filling the air, as if she doesn’t have the energy to sob.

“Kara?” she approaches the distressed woman.

In the faint light from the palace, she can see Kara’s head raise a little bit, eyes finding Lena’s like she had forgotten she was there. The cerulean almost seems to glow, and she immediately looks away, heart pounding in her chest.

“Are you okay, darling?”

“No,” she says on an inhale, “Don’t call me darling. Please.”

Lena frowns.

“What’s wrong, Kara?”

She shakes her head rapidly, “I don’t know. Everything. I want to go home. I’m claustrophobic, and the castle is a lot.”

“It’s a big place.”

“It feels like a prison,” she murmurs. “I can’t breathe inside it. I don’t know- I shouldn’t have offered to be a translator.”

“Then why did you?”

Kara visibly flushes at that, “No reason.”

“There  _ has _ to be a reason.”

Her chest deflates, “I grew up watching you on TV. And you’re always there, perfect and smart and amazing and beautiful.” She clears her throat, “Sorry. But… I wanted to meet you. And when I heard my cousin had been drawn, I offered. And then I meet you, and…” Kara scoffs, “my attraction towards women has made it increasingly difficult to talk to you.”

Lena’s brows furrow, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Cut the crap,” Kara hisses, before she realizes who she’s talking to. “You know what I’m talking about. I’m a lesbian. I  _ know _ that’s widely frowned upon, and I could be exiled for it, but I can’t help it. I can’t help wanting to meet you in person to see if you’re just as beautiful in person as you are on the television, and believe it or not, you’re prettier! I- I grew up imagining that I would be chosen for your Selection when the time came, I- I used to call myself Kara Luthor in private just to see how it would sound.”

Lena’s speechless, just gazing down at the woman at her feet, hair messy, makeup bleeding from her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness. I know I shouldn’t be here.”

“It’s fine, Kara,” she answers softly, although her heart thunders in her chest. It’s a novel feeling, and Lena feels out of control. She’s not sure if she likes it. “Besides, I don’t think I could find another translator if you left.”

“That’s another thing!’ Kara bursts out, “I’m only here as a translator for one of the Selected. I would never be eligible for the Selection. I- I don’t know if I can live with that.”

She exhales sharply, “Kara. If you want to leave, I’m not going to force you to stay. But if you stay, I can’t promise you anything.”

Lena doesn’t reveal how beautiful she thinks Kara is, doesn’t say how she’s attracted to women as well.

“Friends?” the Kryptonian asks shakily, holding up a small dandelion in her fingers.

The princess nods, and takes it from her, examining the small flower. “Friends.”

“It’s a weed,” Lena acknowledges.

Kara, to her surprise, just laughs. “I know. I plucked it from between the stones. But it’s also a flower. Perspective.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Like you. Ahhh, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’’s fine, Kara,” she smiles, and Kara returns it dazedly.

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

“Lena.”

“Lena,” the blonde echoes, as if testing the name on her tongue. Her lips twitch upwards. “I want you to have this.”

The Luthor looks down to find a necklace pooled in Kara’s fingers. It’s nothing special, just a simple chain with a charm on the end, but Lena’s breath catches.

“Why-”

Kara interrupts, “My mother gave it to me the day I left Krypton. I want you to have it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

On their way inside, she turns to the guards, “Make sure to always let Miss Kara into the garden if she shows up. Tell all the other guards the same.”

“Really?” Kara breathes.

“Yes, really.”

Lena walks Kara back to her bedroom, just next door to Kal-El’s, hands fingering the cool gem embedded into the Kryptonian’s necklace.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess.”

“Goodnight, Lena.”

She turns away and forces herself to walk calmly back to her room although a smile blooms on her face.

***

The next day, she eliminates half the suitors. Maxwell Lord for wanting the throne more than her. Morgan Edge for looking at her breasts too long.

“Make sure you get just as much of a look at my backside as you leave,” she quips, and out of the corner of her eye, she notices Kara bite back a smile.

William Dey because he’s too arrogant. Mar Novu because he can’t seem to make a decision. Otis Graves because he’s just stupid. And on the list goes.

When she gets to Jack, she can almost hear him begging to eliminate him. She doesn’t.

Within hours, papers are released calling her smug, saying she’s not invested in her own Selection. With a grit of her teeth, she calls in Jack.

They stage a kiss.

She can see the slight downturn of Kara’s lips, the way she averts her eyes when she sees Lena, and all she can do is whisper, “I’m sorry.”

She goes on dates with the boys.

She discovers Winslow Schott’s love of technology..

She realizes James Olsen’s talent in photography.

She rides horses with Barry Allen, discusses science and mathematics with Querl Dox.

It’s exciting sure, but none of it compares to the time she spends with Kara.

Deep down, Lena knows what she’s afraid of is happening.

She’s falling in love with someone who is not one of the Selected.

After a dinner alone with Kara (that can honestly qualify as a date), she walks the translator back to her room and drops her earring outside the door when it shuts.

Just so she has an excuse to see her again.

Kara returns the earring the next morning, and Lena smiles. She notices how easy it is to smile, a real, genuine one. Not the camera smile she’s perfected over the years.

“Thank you,” she whispers over Kara’s shoulder, arms around her waist.

“Of course,” the blonde replies, voice strained. “What are friends for?”

And there it is. That word.  _ Friends _ .

It’s not like they can be anything more because Kara isn’t a choice.

A few weeks pass, and she eliminates more men.

She proposes a group date, has Kara and Kal-El teach the group simple Kryptonian. Another excuse to be around Kara without having to sneak around the palace.

Kal-El teaches enthusiastically, and the students respond with the same eagerness. Eagerness to impress Lena, perhaps.

James Olsen raises his hand halfway and asks how to say “I love you.”

Kara reponds easily, eyes flickering over to Lena when she says, “ _.:zhaoodh khahp w rrip _ . Of course, we’re using gendered pronouns here, so this is intimate. That's from male to female," she adds a moment later. "This is romantic. A friendly “I love you” would be  _.:shovuhodh w rraop _ , or if you want to say it to someone in your family, you’d use  _ ukiemodh _ . There are three words for “love” in Kryptonahniuo, but only one in English, and I think that’s what makes it so special.

The class ends quickly when Oliver Queen and Mike Matthews get into a fistfight for no apparent reason.

She eliminates the two of them and dismisses everybody back to their rooms.

Lena walks alongside Kara when the room clears.

She clears her throat. “So, do I say  _.:zhaoodh khap w rrip _ ?” she tries tentatively, looking at Kara with the most tender expression she can muster to sum up her feelings.

The Kryptonian just shakes her head fondly, laughing. She looks a little sad, too. “That’s only for romantic love, Lena. You would use  _ shovuhodh w rraop _ .”

“Oh.”

That night, she stages another kiss with Jack. 

She’s not sure if it’s for the public, or for her own selfish reasons, to get her mind off Kara.

Rama Khan asks to leave the Selection because he claims she’s ignoring her. There are accusations of selfishness, of lack of effort, and she sends him away numbly, tears already streaking down her face before she gets to her room.

It’s Kara who finds her, kneeling beside her bed, face pressed into her arms.

“Lena?”

“Kara,” she gasps achingly, letting herself be swept up in a soft embrace.

“What’s wrong?”

She sniffles, “Let’s go to the garden.”

The two walk, hand-in-hand, out to the garden they had been on the first night. The breeze is cool, but it makes her shiver.

They sit down, Kara tugging Lena into her arms softly, and the latter almost laughs at the situation. How it’s reversed from the first night.

She reveals the pressure she feels to choose a suitable mate, to select one of the boys she has absolutely no feelings for. She tells Kara about Rama Khan, how he lashed out at her. 

Kara stays with her until her tears dry, whispering reassurances into her ear, just holding her because God knows how much she needs it.

“Thank you,” she says finally, voice weak.

“That’s what friends are for.’

Her heart sinks a little bit.

A ball is organized for the Selected and Lex invites his girlfriend, Eve, from Kasnia.

The first thing Lena sees is Kara, looking a little uncomfortable and out of place in her dress.

“You look lovely,” she murmurs, adjusting Kara’s glasses for her.

“Thank you,” the Kryptonian replies, almost solemnly. “You doing okay?”

She exhales, “Yeah. It’s just… Eve. Everyone loves her, you know? She’s always so kind and open, and she’s also really smart. Maybe I should be more like her.”

“No,” Kara says firmly, and Lena’s eyes flicker up in surprise at the tone. “Just be you, Lena. Lena Kieran Luthor is just as amazing and smart, if not more. She’s beautiful and a great person. Be yourself, Lee. That’s enough.”

She blinks, speechless for a second, before rasping out an awed, “Thank you, darling.” She grabs Kara’s hand and presses her lips to her knuckles.

“Lena,” she whispers “Maybe you shouldn’t. I’m not one of the Selected. You shouldn’t be seen hanging out with me, the translator. I’m not important enough.”

The princess laughs, “Listen to your own advice, Kara. You’re important. You’re you. That should be enough, too.”

“Wow. Uh, okay. But you should really go hang out with the boys. They’re glaring at me.”

“Of course. I’ll see you later.” She hesitates before murmuring softly, “I love you.”

Her eyes beg for Kara to realize the true meaning behind the words, but there’s only a flash of sadness and anguish in her dazzling blue eyes as she whispers, “I love you, too.”

She dances with Kal-El, smiling politely as he grins at her, occasionally spitting out some broken English.

She doesn’t miss how Kara just watches them sadly.

Lex and Eve elope. They run away from Thorul and head to Kasnia before anyone can object, and they get married.

Lena is wounded as she reads his departure letter, eyes swimming in tears by the end of it.

Her mother has a heart attack.

She darts to the hospital wing and finds her father crying, her extended family mourning as if Lillian were on her death bed, past the point of recovery.

She vows under her breath she’s going to finish the Selection with a ring on her finger as she leaves, pushing her way to her parents’ room.

Lena isn’t sure why she’s crying she she resented her mother growing up when she despised her for forcing the Selection on her.

When her feet finally stop, she finds herself gazing at pictures of Lillian and Lionel— not just as king and queen, but as husband and wife— from decades ago, from when they had gotten married

It takes her a single look at her mother’s smile to see why Lex left their family for love.

And a few seconds to register how bad she wants that type of relationship with Kara.

Lena narrows the suitors down to six, the final six.

There’s Winslow— Winn, he likes to be called— James, Barry, Jack, Querl— affectionately named Brainy— and Kal-El— along with his translator, Kara.

She’s not sure how she’s supposed to decide when the one she wants isn’t even a choice.

Barry asks to kiss her, just to see if they’re compatible. One chaste kiss, and he asks to be eliminated, not wanting to get in the way of the men who actually want Lena.

She goes on a date with Kal-El.

His English isn’t good enough, and her Kryptahniuo is nowhere near even that level. She talks to Kara most of the time, her guard up because it’s just too easy to slip, just too easy to forget she’s on a date with Clark and not Kara.

She becomes queen.

Her father is barely holding himself together, and her mother had just barely awoken from her coma. The two are in no place to be ruling a nation, so she offers.

Maybe she just wants more responsibilities to take her mind off Kara.

(It doesn’t work.)

Winn approaches her nervously one day and asks to be eliminated. Her heart sinks because that leaves her with just Querl, James, and Kal.

“Why?” she asks.

“James kissed me,” he blurts, and her heart drops into her stomach.

“So, are you two…” she trails off, hands gesticulating to fill in the space.

The man nods, “I love him. But it’s illegal to have a relationship in the middle of a Selection. Can you please eliminate me and him?”

She does, reluctantly, even offering to send them home weeks apart so no one suspects anything.

And then she’s only left with Kal and Querl, neither a boy she wants because she wants the girl.

Both have feelings for her, she knows. Querl admits it openly.

Kara is the one who tells her about Kal’s feelings. She notices the world of hurt, of exhaustion in her eyes as she says this, her usual energy failing her.

She blinks at her friend, who had grown to become her best friend in the last three months.

“Lena?” Kara almost whispers.

“Yeah?”

“I think you should know… that necklace I gave you,” Kara looks pleasantly surprised when Lena pulls it out from under her dress, “my mom meant for me to give it to the man I was going to marry.”

Her heart stops.

“W-what?”

“I’m sorry.”

On impulse, she leans in to kiss Kara because only God knows how long she’s been waiting to do it. She does it slowly, giving the Kryptonian enough time to stop her, to lean away.

She doesn’t.

At the first brush of their lips, the door swings open, and she jumps back, heart pounding in her throat.

“Your Majesty,” the tailor dips his head, and she has to refrain from throwing something at his head for interrupting. “I’m just here to work on Miss Kara’s dress for the coronation.”

She nods, forcing the anger in her chest into little boxes, “Of course.” She turns to Kara, who just looks panicked, “I’ll see you later.”

“Right,” she whispers so quietly Lena almost doesn’t catch it.

She practically flees out of there.

***

She’s officially crowned queen the next day, but she’s distracted, eyes flitting through the crowd to find Kara.

It doesn’t take her long. She’s easily the most beautiful person in the room.

Lena finds Kara seconds after the cameras stop rolling and tugs her to away to that garden. It had been a place where they could go and talk, their voices drowned out by the breeze that whistled through the trees at night.

Even in the crowd, Kara smiles at her like she’s her everything, her sun.

It makes her heart flutter.

“Three months is up,” she begins, foot tapping on the stone, “and I need to pick someone.”

Kara’s eyes widen in understanding.

“I- I don’t know if I can…” she whispers.

The Kryptonian just smiles sadly, “You have to.”

“I’m picking Kal-El,” she blurts, “Jack’s like a brother to me. I can’t do it. I’m going to propose to him today.”

“Oh,” Kara says. “Then you have to understand I’m going to have to leave soon. Please don’t have me in the room when you do it, okay? That’s the one thing I ask,” she breathes, turning her head away. But tears roll down her cheeks, and Lena’s heart breaks.

“Of course. Although… may I ask why?”

“You know why.”

“I want to hear you say it.

“I love you. More than just a friend, Lena. I’ve had a crush on you since I was eight. Meeting you made me fall in love with you. Do you- do you know how hard it has been for me to be your friend these past three months?”

She just kisses her, not even caring if there are cameras, or if people are watching. It’s just her Kara now.

It’s sloppy and wet, and not the prettiest of kisses considering their cheeks are wet and their noses are running, but it’s enough, it’s more than enough, and it’s everything. It’s all the kisses Kara and Lena never got to have, all the kisses they’ll never get to have.

When she pulls away, she reaches behind her to unclasp the necklace, something she hadn’t taken off since it the night it was given to her.

“No-” Kara reaches out to stop her, “I can’t let you give that back.”

She gapes at her. "It’s a family heirloom.”

“And I have no intention of ever taking it back. I gave it to you that first night with every intention of having you keep it forever.”

“Okay, then.” She hands him the signet ring, the mark of royalty.

“Lena, that’s for royalty.”

“I think you would’ve made an excellent queen alongside me, granted that you were a choice.”

Kara just kisses her again, throwing all her love, all her passion, her entire being into that final kiss. It’s goodbye, she knows.

She spends the rest of the day sobbing, heaving up her lunch over a toilet.

Her fingers clutch the necklace, her only remnant of Kara, and a fresh wave of tears escapes her eyes.

She composes herself, has Sam and Andrea dress her, and heads over to Kal’s room, an assortment of wedding rings clutched in a bag.

She tries to ignore Kara’s door beside his, closed and locked.

“Kal-El?” She knocks.

The door swings open, revealing the Kryptonian, who looks a little nervous.

“Hello, Lena!”

“Hello, Kal-El. I want to ask you a question?”

His brows furrow, “Get Kara?”

“No Kara,” she whispers, her voice breaking on her name, “Just you.”

“Okay.”

“Do you like me?”

“I like you? _ta:jeviaodh?_ ?”

She nods.

“ _ Zhi _ , yes. Like you very a lot!”

“Okay, then. Will you marry me, Kal-El?”

He gasps, “You choose me?”

She just nods.  _ You were the only choice I had left. _ “You have to give me a ring.”

Lena shows him the assortment of rings, all fitted to her size, the jewels embedded in them all varying in size.

He chooses the biggest one, the most expensive one. She has to fight the urge not to cry just because she’ knows Kara would be the opposite. She’d choose the smallest one.

The ring goes on her left hand, and she gives Kal-El a smile, “Thank you. It looks lovely.”

“Good?”

_ Good _ is all she has,  _ good _ has to be enough for now, so she nods. 

“Good.”

***

The day comes too soon. The day when she announces the winner of the Selection, and assumably her heart. But she’s not sure how she can when they’re two different people.

Her eyes find Kara’s blue ones, eyes that seem to hold back an ocean of tears, and she smiles.

The smile she receives back is enough to calm her nerves for a bit, but her nerves spike again when Kal-El comes up to her.

He looks unusually subdued, and his eyes— the El eyes, same as Kara’s, but a little less vibrant— keep flickering to Kara.

Without warning, he takes Lena’s hand in his and pulls her to the back of the room, where Kara stands.

“ _ zhakairrivodh khuhp ? _ ,” he says firmly, and Lena’s eyes widen. She’s pretty sure she knows what it means.  _ I cannot. _

“ _ tarraos zha? ?” _ she frowns.

“I am slow here,” he says, pointing at his mouth, “not here.” He gestures to his eyes.

Her heart stops. 

“You are love,” he says simply.

“Kara,” she pleads, feeling her heart shatter into pieces as she does so, “Please tell him that I can’t. Tell him I have to follow the rules of the Selection, that you’re not a choice.”

He grips his translator’s arm before she even has a chance to begin speaking. “No.” He turns to face Lena, “I say no.”

Lena almost stumbles, blinking quickly to clear the dizziness. She’s going on stage to announce the winner in just a few minutes and her fiance just broke off their engagement.

“. _ ukiemodh w rraop, eh sehjehbte ?” _ he says solemnly.

He turns to face her. “And I love you, Lena. But you two being together! I making wedding cake!”

Lena just laughs, turning to Kara, who is smiling too.

“Okay,” she whispers, “Okay.”

“B-but I’m not a choice.”

Kal chimes in, “You are  _ the _ choice.” At Kara’s stunned expression, he frowns, muttering a quick question to check that he used his articles right. Lena blinks back tears.

“You’re on in a minute,” Lena’s father places a hand on her shoulder and guides her backstage as Sam fits a microphone to her head.

“I’m sorry,” she blurts.

“Why?”

“You’ll see in a second.”

She heads onto the stage, feeling oddly calm despite what she’s about to do.

“Good evening, Thorul. I know I’m supposed to be here to announce the lucky man who won the Selection. But I can’t do that. So, please welcome Miss Kara Zor-El to the stage.”

There’s a smattering of applause; the audience is clearly confused.

“I’m sure most of you recognize her as Sir Clark’s translator. She’s funny and talented, and smart, and the nicest person you’ll ever meet. Her smile lights up every room, and there are no words I could ever use that would describe just how wonderful she is.”

She takes a deep breath, “And that’s why I’ve fallen in love with her. I know, I  _ know _ I was supposed to choose one of the Selected, but I couldn’t, not when Kara was there. And I spent the whole time convincing myself that she wasn’t a choice when she was  _ the _ choice the whole time.

“So, Kara Zor-El, will you marry me?”

The Kryptonian lets out a disbelieving laugh as the crowd roars, some in approval, some not.

“Why is that even a question?” she giggles, her breath hitching in a soft sob as she throws herself into Lena’s arms, “Yes! Always yes, forever yes.”

Lena’s arms loop around Kara’s neck, pulling her down for a kiss, and it’s like everything else is gone.

It’s not just them two alongside the millions of people watching.

No. 

It’s just Kara and Lena.

(And a happily ever after.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this sucked bye
> 
> but heyyy day 18 is done
> 
> kryptonese translations:
> 
> /bythgr kir/ = princess (literally, little king/queen)
> 
> /.nahn khuhp w voi .nahn khuhp w veun nahnehth gehd w zehtiahr :bem ni rraop osh/ = I'm okay. I'm sure it has been a good day for you. (idk why i need to translate this since it's literally kara translating lena's English but hey why not)
> 
> /.gahvodh khuhp rrosh w rraop eh,Kahl-Ehl,/ = you can go, Kal-El (literally: i allow you to go because there's no word for "can")  
> note: was edited on 1/21/21
> 
> /zhakairrivodh khuhp/ = I cannot (as you can see, kryptahniuo is a very agglutinative language, haha... zha = no, kai = can, rriv = to do, and odh is just the verb suffix)  
> note: original word i had here was /zhanahn/, which makes completely no sense as it means is not? like just... "is not" idk man
> 
> /tarraos zha?/ = why not? (/ta-/ = question particle/indicator, /rraos/ = why, /zha/ = no)
> 
> /sehjehbte/ = my cousin (/sehjehb/ = cousin (gender neutral), /-te/ = my (familial possessive))
> 
> /zhi/ means yes, /zha/ means no... this also applies for prefixes... and everything else is something y'all probably know, or is explained


	19. pumpkin kisses and harvest wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this little scene was inspired by a similiar one in [kbs_was_here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kbs_was_here/pseuds/kbs_was_here)'s [kick start my heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3131000/chapters/6786059).
> 
> Day 19: Pumpkin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably already been done, but i thought this was a cute concept

Lena glances over at her girlfriend, brows furrowed at the longing glance towards the pies and cakes on display.

“Kara, darling, if you want one so bad, why don’t we get one?”

“No, it’s fine.”

She frowns. Kara typically isn’t one to turn down food.

“Are you okay? Why? What’s wrong?”

She shrugs, “It’s just not the same. I actually don’t like pumpkin pie, but Eliza has this secret recipe that she makes every autumn. It’s, like, a Thanksgiving thing, but once the leaves start getting crunchy, I just  _ need _ that pumpkin pie.”

“And she’s too busy to make it to National City this year,” Lena realizes.

“Yup,” Kara says, expression glum.

“How about I try to make you one?”

“It’s not Eliza’s, though.”

“I can try,” Lena ventures, “Besides, I know science and all that, and if I have to, I’ll throw in hours of research.”

Blue eyes brighten, “You’d do that for me?”

“She said with surprise in her voice for some reason.”

Kara giggles, leaning forward to wrap her arms around Lena’s waist, “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Kar. You mean the world to me, and I’d do anything for you.” It’s really no more than a quiet murmur, a mere breath, but she knows Kara can hear it because, well,  _ duh _ , superpowered alien.

“Aww,” the blonde coos, pressing a soft kiss to Lena’s lips. “You’re the best girlfriend ever.”

“I could say the same for you. Now, let’s finish shopping, then we can go home.”

* * *

Lena actually puts a lot of work into baking the perfect. She scrolls through baking websites for hours, looking up tricks and recipes that might just satisfy Kara.

She replaces the sour cream with heavy whipping cream, purees the pumpkin puree, even considers buying an actual pumpkin to use. She adds spices to the crust as well and then pauses to wonder if it’d taste different if she used butternut squash.

After a few hours and a failure with the stand mixer, she has a presentable pumpkin pie sitting on the counter, a dollop of whipped cream slowly melting on top.

Kara arrives home, and her jaw drops, eyes flitting around the messy kitchen before landing on Lena’s tired face, pumpkin and whipped cream speckled everywhere.

“Lee!” she gasps, “You made it for me?”

“Of course.”

“I wanna try it, I wanna try it!”

Lena cuts a slice, sighing in relief when the filling holds its shape rather than just slowly sagging.

“It’s beautiful,” the Kryptonian squeals, whipping out her phone to snap a quick picture.

“Try it.” The Luthor bounces anxiously on the balls of her feet, eyes fixed intently on Kara’s face to gauge her reaction.

Her girlfriend’s head tips to the side as she chews, prongs of the fork resting on her lower lip.

“Good?” 

Kara just shovels another bite into her mouth, probably to stall.

“Kara.”

“It’s good!” she bursts out, and the smile on her face is a genuine one. “It really is.”

“But it’s not Eliza’s.”

“But it’s not Eliza’s,” the blonde echoes. “I’m sorry, Lee.”

“No, it’s okay. I get it, darling.” She eases the fork from Kara’s grip and takes a bite. “Huh. It’s not too bad.”

“It’s good, baby,” Kara reassures her. “I’d definitely eat it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah!”

Lena’s never really been a fan of pumpkin or pumpkin spice, but she tastes it on Kara’s lips and tongue when she kisses her, and it might just be her favorite taste in the world.

* * *

Never being one to give up easily, she tries again. This time, with butternut squash. She folds egg whites into the filling and adds a little more sugar than last time.

Kara comes home from her superheroing and reporting duties pretty late, but her exhausted look practically evaporates when she opens the door to Lena scooping whipped cream onto another pumpkin pie.

“You tried again?”

“I’m not giving up, darling.”

The Kryptonian just grins and snatches a fork and a knife from the kitchen, darting back so fast Lena’s hair lifts off her shoulders.

She cuts herself a considerable-sized piece before digging in.

The grin on Kara’s face looks promising.

“Good?”

“Yes,” she mumbles around a mouthful, quickly scooping another into her mouth until the entire slice is gone. “That’s amazing.”

“I did it?”

“It’s definitely closer to Eliza’s, but not quite.”

Lena visibly deflates at that and her girlfriend rushes to comfort her, “No! It’s still really good, and I could eat the entire thing because I want to and not because you want me to! It’s amazing, Lee.”

“Really?”

“Try it!”

“Okay,” she murmurs, tugging Kara close until she can taste the pie on her lips.

* * *

She just calls Eliza. Being the CEO of two Fortune 500 companies meant she had virtually no free time, and those two days she had left early had cost her hours of sleep making up for meetings and paperwork.

“Hey, Eliza?”

“Oh! Hello, Lena.”

“Hi. Uhm, I was wondering if you could share your recipe for pumpkin pie? Kara’s been talking about it for weeks now, and I can’t seem to bake her one that’s like yours.”

“Well, you see, I can’t do that.”

“I know it’s a secret recipe and all that, but please? It would make Kara happy.”

“There’s no recipe, love.”

“Then… you could walk me through it. Tell me what ingredients and-”

“Lena. I literally cannot give you the recipe because-” she pauses, “Are you alone?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t tell how to make it because, well, I don’t make it.”

“What?”

“I’m not proud of it, but I get them from this small Japanese place. They use kabocha squash instead of pumpkin or butternut.”

“So… you buy the pie? And Kara thinks you make them?”

“Pretty much.”

“Wow.”

“Please don’t tell her.”

“On one condition.”

The next day, Lena finds an express shipment of frozen kabocha pie at her door, and silently thanks Eliza as she pulls it in, immediately discarding of the box.

She had made sure Kara left for CatCo before she started. She tells Jess to cancel her meetings for the rest of the day and stays home, waiting for the package with the tracking screen pulled up.

Luckily, the dirty mixing bowl and stand mixer are key to making the whole thing seem legitimate, so she just makes the simple whipped cream she had been making for the last two tries, with heavy whipping cream, vanilla, and sugar, coincidentally the same one Eliza uses on the pies.

She preheats the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit, and pops the frozen pie in, letting it slowly defrost.

When the soft jingle of keys is heard, she turns around and scrapes at the whipped cream with a spatula to appear like she’s working.

“Lena, I’m home!”

She hides a grin, “Over here!”

Kara scampers into the kitchen, looking at her with awe.

“You tried again?”

“Anything for you, Kar. You know that.”

She just kisses her, “I love you. You’re the best.”

“I love you, too. Now, let me get the whipped cream on top, and then we’re all set.”

“Okie!”

She takes a metal spoon and scoops dollops onto the defrosted pie until there’s a sizable mound on top of it.

“Ready to try it?”

Kara nods vigorously, cutting a slice from it. It looks completely legitimate; the filling only differs in shade if you look closely, and the crust is one of the typical pre-made crusts.

The small bite and the fork disappear into Kara’s mouth, and Lena bites back a smirk when she sees her girlfriend’s eyes widen.

“Did I get it?”

Kara doesn’t answer until her entire slice is gone and she’s cutting herself another. “You are amazing, Lena. How did you- you have to tell me the recipe!”

She chuckles, making a note to ask the little family-owned Japanese place for the recipe soon. “It’s a secret.”

She pouts, gazing at Lena with puppy eyes.

“Maybe someday.”

“You have to make it again soon!”

“I will,” Lena grins to herself, glad she had managed to hide another frozen pie in the very bottom of the freezer.

“You have to try it, Lee!”

She takes a bite, almost moaning when the rich and smooth flavor hits her tongue, “Okay, I can see why you like this so much.”

“It’s amazing, right?”

“Not as amazing as you,” she mumbles, pulling Kara towards her by the hips until she’s close enough to kiss her. “You taste better, too.”

“Yeah?”

Lena doesn’t bother with a response because she’s too busy trying to kiss her girlfriend while grinning like an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short one today, but it's 1:34 am so...
> 
> <3


	20. bet on it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 20: Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 2:11 am al;dfj;akdfjs;lkj please excuse any mistakes
> 
> also, please point them out thank you very much
> 
> Chapter Title from "Bet On It" from _High School Musical 2_.

Alex almost has to avert her gaze when she sees Kara try to teach Lena how to play pool. Both of their faces are slightly flushed as the former leans over the latter, guiding her fingers.

“These clueless gay women,” a voice beside her makes her snap her head around, and Alex realizes she’s not the only one who’s noticed them.

“I know, right,” Sam mutters from her spot beside Alex. 

Nia just snorts, “Y’all are pretty clueless gays, too.”

“True,” she concedes.

“Do you think they’re already dating?” The half-Naltorian muses.

Alex shakes her head, “No, Kara would’ve told me.”

“And Lena would’ve said something,” Sam adds.

“We should do something.”

“Like, what? Set them up?”

“Nope,” Alex mutters, sipping on her drink, “Not doing that. ‘M lazy. But I’ll bet twenty bucks they’ll be together within the next six months.”

Sam just chuckles, “You don’t know Lena. Twenty bucks for two years.”

Nia frowns, “What about their whole agreement to not keep secrets from each other? They have to say eventually.”

“Ah, but you see. Lena probably doesn’t even know she’s in love with Kara. I think that’s the issue here.”

“How do you know?”

“Because she probably would’ve called me in the middle of the night panicking.”

“Huh.”

“Thirty bucks on two months,” the younger woman says finally, earning a baffled look from both Alex and Sam.

Over at the pool tables, the women watch in amusement as Lena scores a ball into a hole and throws herself into her friend’s arms. Kara presses a soft kiss to her cheek, and the dazed smile from Lena is enough to make Sam choke on her drink.

“Whatcha betting on?” Kara saunters up to the table with a grin so bright Alex almost has to squint to look directly at her sister.

“Uh,” Nia stammers, “Just how long it’s going to take Lena to persuade you to eat kale!”

Alex bites back a laugh at the horrified look on Kara’s face.

“Well,” she declares, “fifty bucks on never. Actually… I dunno. Lee’s probably someone who would sneak it into my food.”

Sam and Alex exchange a look at the nickname.

“I say a month,” the Luthor says.

“What?” 

“I don’t know, darling, I don’t think you can resist me.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

And Kara flushes, deeply, and promptly chokes on a sip of beer.

Nia just looks absolutely delighted and slaps her friend and mentor between the shoulder blades roughly.

“C’mon,” the Kryptonian coughs, already walking away, “We’re going to play an actual game of pool.”

Lena follows, grumbling, “Why’s it so hard? It’s just basic geometry.”

“They’re literally dating already,” Alex mutters the moment they’re out of earshot.

“Kara blushed so hard when Lena said that,” Sam crows, laughing. “Oh! And “Lee.” The hell was that? Lena doesn’t let anyone call her by any nickname since, you know, Lex.”

“They’ve literally been pining after each other for, like, six years. I’m going to die if I have to watch this any longer.”

* * *

“They’re talking about us dating,” Kara says out of nowhere when she closes one eye to align her shot.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she grunts. “I think they’re betting on something. Didn’t eavesdrop though. But that kale thing was bullcrap, and you know it.”

Lena gawks when Kara makes about three balls in a single hit. “Excuse me. _How_?”

“Luck?”

“I doubt that.”

“What do you think they’re betting on?”

“I dunno, maybe when they’ll walk in on us making out?”

“Lena!” she slaps her girlfriend in the arm.

“What? I don’t think they ever have. Ooh, or maybe when we get married or something.”

Kara looks sharply at her.

“Uh, did not mean to say that.”

“You wanna get married?” she asks softly.

“Well…”

“No lying, remember?”

She blushes, “Right, of course.”

“So?” Kara prompts, but there’s a look in her eyes Lena can’t identify.

“Yes, I want to get married… to you,” she says finally, “I want to spend my whole life with you.”

The alien gapes, “Really?”

“Yeah. I love you, Kara.”

She gasps again, hand flying to her mouth as her eyes fill with tears. “I love you, too,” she chokes out, rushing forward to pull her into a soft kiss, pool stick clattering to the floor.

Somehow, Alex, Sam, and Nia are too busy betting on who will make the first move to notice them.

* * *

It takes two more months and some mistletoe for them to find out.

Lena is the first to arrive at Kara’s loft for their annual Christmas party, even before Alex, who arrives an hour early, tugging Sam and Ruby along.

“Oh, hey, Lena. Here already?”

She just shrugs, grinning easily, “I got off work early.”

Alex’s eyebrows shoot up, “Wow.”

Sam’s brows stitch together. “But you never get off work early? You never even go home before ten pm!”

“Well, I just wanted to spend some time with Kara. Is that hard to believe?”

Ruby pipes up, “Aww, that’s cute.”

“Not really,” Sam mutters under her breath.

Alex just blinks. She gets that her sister and the Luthor are friends, but how in the world had Kara persuaded Lena to leave L-Corp before five in the evening?

Nia and Brainy arrive soon after James, Winn, Eliza, and J’onn. The Naltorian immediately zeroes in on Lena, “Wow, you’re here early.”

“We just wanted to hang out before the party started,” Kara says from beside Lena on the couch, head tucked into the crook of Lena’s neck.

“Oh. Nice.”

Even James and Winn look baffled. J’onn looks at the couple with a knowing smile; Eliza just chuckles to herself.

* * *

The time comes for white elephant, and the Superfriends sit in a small circle, drawing slips of paper from a box to determine their order.

“Well, I’m last,” Kara pouts. “All the good gifts are going to have been stolen by the time it’s my turn.”

Lena pats her on the knee, “Don’t worry, darling. I’ll share my gift if you want.”

The blonde brightens immediately.

Sam and Alex exchange a look.

By the time it’s Kara’s turn, she’s snuggled up to Lena, who had gotten a tortilla blanket. The Kryptonian had insisted on wrapping it around her girlfriend like a burrito, and now, she sits with her head rested comfortably on the latter’s shoulder, body almost pressed up against hers.

(“I love that blanket,” Kara had happily declared.)

“Your turn, Kara,” Nia prompts with a slight smirk. She knows what’s in the last box; that was the gift she had intended for the gift exchange, throwing it in a big box so it could rattle around.

“Okay.”

She grabs the final present from under the tree, shaking it by her ear, “It sounds like a branch. Can I use x-ray vision?”

“No! Just open it!”

She does, fingers first tearing off the Christmas-themed wrapping paper, and then opening the box to find a… mistletoe.

Alex’s eyes widen and she realizes now why Nia had bet two months.

“It’s a mistletoe,” she picks it up by the stem, frowning.

“You have to kiss someone,” the Naltorian says with barely suppressed glee.

“Why?”

“It’s tradition.”

“Why, though?”

Lena shrugs, straightening up in that way she does before she delves into an academic speech, “Well, you see, there was this Norse god named Baldur, and his super overprotective mother goes around the earth making everything swear an oath to never harm her son. And so the gods had a lot of fun throwing things at him, and it’d just bounce off. But she overlooks mistletoe, and Loki makes a dart out of it and kills him.”

“That… has nothing to do with kissing under the mistletoe, Lee,” Kara murmurs.

“Oh, right. Basically, somehow, she brought him back to life with the berries and named it a symbol of love, vowing to kiss anyone who she walked under it with.”

“Nerd,” the blonde reaches up to poke a finger at Lena’s cheek.

“Ooh,” Nia smirks, “you should kiss Kara.”

“Okay.”

She shuffles to the side, laughing at Kara’s yelp of complaint when her head dislodges from its place on Lena’s shoulders.

The Kryptonian crawls onto her knees and inches forward until she’s close enough to press her lips to her girlfriend’s.

The others watch on, stunned at the casualty the two go at it with. The kiss is passionate and soft, and there’s a hint of tongue before Alex coughs.

They break apart smiling, Kara taking the plant from Sam, who had been holding it over their heads.

“I love you, Lee,” she murmurs, pressing a final chaste kiss to her lover’s lips before sitting back onto her heels.

“I love you, too, darling.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Nia interrupts, “Are you guys, like, a thing?”

Kara blinks, “Yeah.”

“Oh my God. For how long?”

“For six months now.”

“What?” Sam almost shrieks.

Lena just looks confused, “What’s wrong?”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute,” Alex holds up a hand, “When exactly did you two become a thing?”

“Oh, that week we went to Midvale in summer? Kara blurted out that she wanted to kiss me, and then rambled for two minutes, which is impressive by Kara Danvers standards, and then she ran away. So I chased her to the garden and kissed her.”

“I knew making you two share a bed would be a good idea!”

Eliza laughs fondly, “You guys didn’t know?”

“You _knew_?”

Kara blinks in bewilderment, “We thought we were pretty obvious.”

“Well, you weren’t. Also, I’m pretty sure I won that bet. Pay up, losers.”

“No!” Sam protests, “None of us got it. They were dating before we even started that bet.”

“So what, they started dating negative four months after we bet, but I’m still the closest.”

“Hold up, you guys bet on when Lena and I would start dating? When?”

“Yes?”

“That girls’ night at the bar,” Sam explains.

Both Lena and Kara flush slightly at that. “That was the first time she told me she loved me,” the latter says happily.

“And then we kissed, and you guys didn’t even notice,” Lena grumbles, wrapping an arm around Kara.

“Oh.”

James, who had been silent the entire time finally speaks up, “S-so… you two, are… you know…. dating?”

Kara nods enthusiastically, “Yeah!”

His head drops into his hands, and he mumbles something incoherent. Winn just pats him on the back. “Congratulations, I guess?”

Lena snorts, “It’s not like we’re getting married.”

Everyone is silent.

“A hundred dollars they’ll be engaged in... a year and a half.”

“Nia!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EYYY I HIT 50K WORDS
> 
> AND IT'S ALL WRITTEN FROM LIKE 1-3AM EVERY NIGHT
> 
> ...no wonder I'm so tired all the time.


	21. guess i'm saying i don't not love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 21: Danvers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm late i know i'm late like two days i'm so sorryyyy i haven't even started the next chapter and it's October 23rd, 2:24 am...
> 
> i have another science olympiad invitationals tomorrow, so i dunno if I'll get much writing done... i don't really have a plan for yesterday's prompt, but i suppose I'll get there... 
> 
> this is like... supergirl in training, but a ripoff version... so enjoy?
> 
> also it's really bad because I'm in a rush and also i randomly got a really bad stomach ache so bleh here you go
> 
> Chapter Title from "I Think I Kinda, You Know" from HSMTMTS (Olivia Rodrigo and Joshua Bassett)

She didn’t mean to stop to save the kids from being hit by the school bus. She had been crossing the street and it had just… happened.

Now a blurry picture is plastered all over the news and the DEO is undoubtedly looking for her. On the bright side, they didn’t get a clear shot of her face. That would’ve been…  _ very _ disrupting (to the space-time continuum), to say the least. 

Her job is supposed to be to sabotage Lillan’s ship beyond repair  _ without _ being noticed. The ship that would deport all the aliens to the other side of the universe so that twenty years in the future, she wouldn’t try again. Or at least Brainy had predicted that she wouldn’t.

Her ears twitch as her super hearing picks up on a familiar sound, and her head snaps to the right, eyes landing on two familiar figures that are talking animatedly in hushed whispers.

“Kara, she could be dangerous!”

They’re talking about her, obviously.

“Alex! But saved the people on the school bus  _ and _ the children? Who knows? She could be another superhero or vigilante.”

Her chest swells with a little pride.

It’s a bit weird, seeing someone she knows twenty years in the future. Kara, her  _ ieiu ? _ , looks almost exactly the same though.

Before she notices what’s happening, her feet are carrying her in the direction of the two women.

“Lena?” The girl’s eyes widen when she realizes that she’s been spotted, and is about to flee when the blonde woman walks up to her.

“Wait, you’re not Lena.”

“I’m Lori,” she waves hesitantly, eyes flickering to her  _ ieiu ? _ and  _ aiahv ? _ Alex.

“You look exactly like Lena,” Alex narrows her eyes.

“Oh. I’m her d- niece,” she blurts out, barely correcting herself in time.

Kara’s eyebrows shoot up, “You mean Lex has-”

“Not on that side,” she rambles quickly, “Her, um, biological mother’s side… in Ireland.”

“You don’t have the accent,” Lori’s aunt notices.

“I didn’t know Lena got back in touch with her mom’s side of the family,” her mom says.

“She did! And, uh, nope! I have an American accent?” It sounds like a question more than a statement.

Alex’s eyes are still narrowed, although now in suspicion. “This is awfully suspicious.”

Lori throws her hands up, accidentally knocking off the sunglasses that had been hiding her eyes. Her hand shoots out inhumanly fast to grab it.

Blue eyes. The prominent House of El eyes. The  _ zrhythrev ,ehl, ? _ eyes _. _

Kara sucks in a breath.

The young girl tries to slip the glasses back on, but a hand flashes out and catches her wrist.

Lori tries to pull away, but Kara has her wrist gripped with a little super strength. She yanks her arm out with super strength of her own and leaves, running away at a human pace.

Kara kicks herself into action after a second of stunned stillness, but the moment she comes with ten feet of the girl, she flies away with super speed.

“It’s her,” the superhero blinks at Alex, who looks at her with an equally shocked expression, “That girl in the news.”

***

“So… she’s Lena’s niece. But has the El eyes.”

“Well, she might not be Lena’s niece. She could be, I dunno, a shapeshifter.”

“But… a Kryptonian?”

“We don’t know that,” Kara buries her face in her hands.

“She had super strength and super speed and can  _ fly _ .”

“J’onn can. What if she’s a Martian?”

“She has the El eyes,” Alex repeats.

“Well, there might be other species with those colored eyes.”

“Are there?”

Kara mumbles, “Not that I know of. They’re genetically engineered.”

“So, Kryptonian. How is that possible?”

“I don’t know. Can we just ask J’onn, or run a city-wide scan for a Kryptonian?”

“That’s… not a bad idea.”

***

They rush into the DEO, heading straight to J’onn, who Kara drags to a private conference room.

“What’s wrong?”

“That girl in the news? We think she’s Kryptonian. And possibly related to me?”

“That’s… that’s not possible.”

“I know. And get this. She looks like Lena.”

“Lena  _ Luthor _ ?”

“Yeah. Her name’s Lori. She claims to be Lena’s niece from her biological mom’s side.”

“Anything else?”

“She has the House of El eyes. These ones.” She points to her own eyes. “The House of El only had two children by the time Krypton exploded. Me and Kal. And she’s like, a teenager.”

“I- I don’t get how this is possible. We need to find, apprehend, and interrogate her.”

“She’s not bad!”

“How do you know? There are safety protocols, Kara.”

“I just know it,” she insists. “She’s not a bad person. She saved those kids.”

“Is there a chance Miss Luthor knows who she is?”

“Uh, lemme call her.”

***

“Can you scan the city for a Kryptonian radiation signature?” Alex asks Winn breathlessly.

“What? Why?”

“The girl in the news.”

“Oh. Damn.”

“Just do it!”

“Okay, okay.”

His fingers tap on the keys and a second later a satellite view of National City appears on the screen. Two points on the map light up.

“Oh! That one’s Kara. And the other… it’s probably her?”

“Why probably?”

“It’s detecting something different.”

“What does that mean?”

“This runs a scan on all the radiation signatures of people. Kryptonians give off a whole lot more and a different type of radiation. It’s detecting Kryptonian, but… like not really?”

“Huh. Strange.”

Kara and J’onn find their way over to Alex and Winn, all frowning.

“Lena says she’s coming over now. She doesn’t know a Lori. What is that?”

“Kryptonian radiation signature in National City. It’s probably her.”

“Probably meaning it’s not the typical Kryptonian signature,” Alex butts in.

“Could it be Daxamite?” Kara wonders.

J’onn shakes his head, “No.”

Winn just groans.

“I’m here. What’s going on?” Lena struts towards them briskly, eyes flickering to Supergirl for a second.

“We found the girl on the news. The one who stopped the bus. She looks… almost  _ exactly _ like you. I actually mistook her for you when I first saw her. She… she’s Kryptonian, we think,” Supergirl explains.

“I don’t know her. You said her name is Lori?”

“Yup.”

“Got a last name?”

“Nope.”

“Wait, Miss Luthor, have you been in touch with your family in Ireland?”

Lena blinks, bewildered, “N-no, of course not.”

Alex sighs, “Then that was a lie.”

“Can we just, I dunno,” Supergirl waves a hand, “find her and bring her back?”

“We might need kryptonite.”

The super’s head snaps up.

“Look. I know what you’re thinking. But what if she’s dangerous?”

“She’s not.”

“How would you know?”

“I just have a feeling.”

“We can’t break safety protocols every time you just “have a feeling,” Supergirl,” J’onn sighs. “Miss Luthor, do you have the anti-kryptonite suit?”

She nods, holding out the small device to the superhero, who takes it with a nod of gratitude.

“Let’s go, then.”

***

Lori slumps against a wall in the shadow of an alley. Seeing her  _ ieiu ? _ and having her not recognize her had been painful, to say the least.

Sure, it might be Kara twenty years ago, but she’s never seen her mom look at her like…  _ that, _ like she’s just another stranger.

She’s supposed to be keeping an eye out for members of Cadmus, or just pricking her ears for sighs of danger, but she finds herself closing her eyes, and in that split second, two figures land on the ground next to her.

Lori jumps and is about to jump off, but Supergirl,  _ ieiu ? _ , is looking at like that again, and so she just freezes. The superhero is in the anti-kryptonite suit, and Lori recognizes it as the first prototype from her mom’s sketches and pictures.

“Don’t move,” the Martian warns. “I have kryptonite.”

She turns to her  _ ieiu _ with a pleading look, almost like  _ don’t let him hurt me _ , and Supergirl visibly falters at that.

“Who are you?” she asks, voice muffled through the face shield, but it’s not strong like Supergirl’s voice is supposed to be.

She just shakes her head, backing up until she’s against a wall. Even with superhero training, she knows she’s no match for a 300-year old alien and her mother.

“Why are you here?”

Finally, a question she can answer.

“To stop Lillian from deporting all the aliens on the registry.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because, in twenty years, she’s going to do it again..She’s going to hunt down all the unregistered aliens and send them to the other side of the universe.”

“Twenty years-”

“I’m from the future.”

Kara frowns. “That’s not possible.”

“Time travel. Mo- Lena makes it possible to safely time travel. You know that, Supergirl. You’ve done it before!”

“Wha- How do you-”

“I’m from the future.”

“She’s not lying,” J’onn finally speaks up.

“What? I thought you couldn’t read Kryptonian minds?”

He seems to realize that, too.

“So, you’re not Kryptonian?”

Lori sighs. No use in lying, especially with a psychic present. “Not completely. I’m half-human. Please don’t read my mind. I’ll tell you… I promise. Take me back to the DEO.”

Their hackles rise again, “How do you know about the DEO?”

“Time traveler.”

They relax a bit. “Oh. Right.”

The Martian takes out a pair of power-dampening cuffs and she just groans, “Really?”

“We don’t know if we can trust you,” Supergirl says bluntly, and she has to tell herself  _ this isn’t my mom. This is not the ieiu ? you know. _

The Martian and Kryptonian carry Lori between the two of them, flying her back to their headquarters.

Lena rushes to them alongside Alex and Winn when they land, but her eyes widen in shock and she pauses.

“Interrogation room, now,” J’onn hisses. Some of the agents are already giving them weird looks.

They push Lori into a cell, keeping the power-dampening cuffs on just in case.

“I can explain,” the half-Kryptonian rushes out when she sees the five of them standing with their arms crossed. “Please. Give me a chance to explain. I’ll tell you everything, just please don’t hurt me because I need to-”

Surprisingly, it’s Lena who’s lips quirk into a smile at that. “Okay, okay. Relax, Lori.” Something about that reminds her of Kara, the way she rambles, and it’s hard not to give in to that. “Can you tell us who you are? Is Lori your real name?”

She nods, “My name is Lori, and I’m from the future.”

“The fut-”

“Just listen,” Supergirl interrupts, and Lori shoots her a grateful look.

“Twenty years from now, Lillian tries to deport all the aliens, again.”

“Again?”

“Yeah,” Lori plays with her fingers nervously, “She’s planning to do it now, actually.” She hesitates. 

“Keep going,” Alex prompts.

“My… mom, she found a way for people to safely time travel. Lillian managed to deport all the aliens, not just in National City, but also in Metropolis and most of the world. Brainy said that if I went back and sabotaged the ship beyond repair, in a way that would just make it completely malfunction, but like, also in a way that’s discreet and will take a good engineer a looong time to figure out-”

“You’re rambling,” Lena says kindly.

She clears her throat, a crease forming between her eyebrows. Lena can’t help but blink at that. “Right. Basically, I’m here to fix things.”

“Won’t that mess up the space-time continuum? The Flash told me about this time he created something called a Flashpoint because he went back and fixed something, and it threw everything off.”

Lori shakes her head. “Not really. The only reason Lillian doesn’t succeed in deporting the registered aliens is because ye- Supergirl manages to stop the ship before it reaches the edge of the atmosphere. And also, this is why I was supposed to come here and  _ not _ get noticed! But then I went and stopped the bus.”

At their confusion, she continues, “Anyway, the spaceship… it’s designed to jump to the other side of the universe the moment it breaks out of Earth's atmosphere.”

“Oh my God.”

“Lori, can I ask you a question?” Winn pipes up.

“Sure.”

“What’s your full name?  _ How _ are you half Kryptonian? And, uh, why do you look exactly like Miss Luthor?”

“That’s three questions,” she quips cheekily, and Lena cracks a smile.

“Whatever. Stop deflecting.”

“Okay. Uhm, those are kinda hard to answer. The last two might be easier. Uh…”

“Lori.”

“Okay, okay. Half Kryptonians are very possible. Un-” she claps a hand over her mouth before she reveals to much. “Superman and Lois have a son in… what year is it? Twenty-seventeen? In a year or two. I can’t tell you the details because there’s a  _ lot _ of information you haven’t found out yet, and that would.”

“Wait,” Supergirl gasps, “Kal and Lois have a baby?”

She nods, hiding a smile of her own when Kara grins.

Alex is getting impatient, “Answer the questions.”

J’onn just looks like he’s actually trying not to read her mind.

“Okay. Uhm, I look like her because… she’smymom,” she blurts out.

Lena chokes, “Who’s your father? Oh my God, is it Superman?”

“No, no, no,” Lori hurries to stop her mother, “No! Not Superman, actually. I, uh, I don’t have a father.”

“Wha- how?”

“I have a mother,” she sighs, eyes flickering to Supergirl’s, and that’s when Kara realizes.

“Oh my God. You’re- you- what?”

Lena catches on, “I had a child with  _ Supergirl _ ?”

Lori winces at the reaction, “Kinda? I was conceived in a lab.”

Kara’s eyes narrow, “As an experiment or…?”

She shakes her head.

“So… Lori Luthor.” Alex frowns, looking utterly confused. Winn just looks stunned.

“...Not quite.”

“What is it, then?”

She turns to Supergirl, nibbling on her lower lip, “ _ taraozhodh zhehd? ? _ ”

She sucks in a breath, tears suddenly filling her eyes.

“Supergirl, what?” Alex looks worried.

“Her Kryptahniuo is flawless,” she breaths.

Lori flushes. “You taught me. But....  _ taraozhodh zhehd? ? _ ” Her eyes flicker to Lena.

Kara’s eyes widen in realization. “ _.zha _ ,” she breathes.

Lori just looks apologetic, “. _ aovehmodh khuhp w gehd .tulem khuhp rrivodh w voiehd ?” _

“What’s she saying?”

Kara just nods to Lori, “What’s your last name?”

Her eyes flick rapidly between Kara and Lena.

“Lori?” Lena prompts, although her eyes are fixed on Supergirl.

“My full name is Lori L… Danvers,” she whispers.

Lena’s eyes widen.

J’onn, Winn, and Alex suck in a breath, and Supergirl, Kara just looks at Lena pleadingly.

“What’s the L stand for?” she asks quietly.

“The House of El. And... Luthor.”

“That’s genius,” Lena’s looks impressed.

Lori snorts, “You thought of it.”

“Ah, keep forgetting you’re my daughter in the future.” She looks at Kara again.

To the Kryptonian’s surprise, there’s nothing… bitter in her gaze. Just casual acceptance.

“Can we have a moment alone?” Lena requests quietly, 

Everyone but the two of them shuffles out. Lori just sits down in her cell.

“So,” Kara sighs, “She’s… our daughter, apparently.” It’s awkward. Too awkward.

“And you’re…”

“Supergirl,” she whispers, almost shamefully. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

Lena looks up, and it’s then Kara sees the hurt in her eyes, “No, I’m sure you had a good reason, Kara.”

She sighs, “But you’re my best friend. I shouldn’t have kept such a big secret from you..”

“Kara,” Lena murmurs softly, “It’s okay. I know now, and that’s all that matters.”

“About that…” Lori chimes in.

“Eavesdropper,” Kara mutters. “What?”

“I wasn’t supposed to disrupt the space-time continuum. I’m going to need to have J’onn erase your memories.”

“W-what? Why?”

“You can’t know I exist. What if you do something, that changes the future? Like, if I’m born a year earlier, I might be different. But the ripples get larger the farther you go, and I don’t want to cause some unforeseen catastrophe twenty years later.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah… continue talking!”

Kara signs, burying her face in her hands, “Then i suppose nothing I say to you right now matters, does it, Lee?”

“Why? What are you going to say?”

“I- uh, nothing.”

“She’s in love with you,” Lori calls out.

“Lori L Danvers!” Kara screeches.

“Is it true?” Lena glances at her daughter,  _ their _ daughter, and then back to her friend.

“Uh, well, I, I uh…”

“Kara, if it makes you feel any better, I have feelings for you, too.”

She blinks. “Really?”

“God, can you guys make out already?”

They flush identical shades of red, whipping around to glare at their daughter.

“What?” she raises her hands innocently, grinning.

“Shut up, you little brat,” Kara whines.

“Hey! That’s mean.”

Kara just sticks out her tongue, and Lena feels her heart swell.

This is her family.

***

Surprisingly, the little sabotage works, and the ship doesn’t take off.

Lori grumbles, “See? It was that easy. You guys didn’t even have to meet me.”

“I’m glad we did though,” Kara slips her hand in Lena’s with a small smile.

“We have to do the memory wipe, still.”

“Are we going to forget everything?”

Lori frowns, “Everything that has to do with me. So I suppose you’re going to forget  _ ieiu  _ is Supergirl and… you guys won’t remember being together.

Lena’s breath hitches, her heart dropping.

“I’m sorry, guys. But hey! In four years, I’m going to be born! So you’re not going to have to wait too long to find each other again.”

“That’s… reassuring,” Kara murmurs, pulling Lena into a hug that makes her heart ache.

“Can I write a note and say something like “Tell Kara you love her, you idiot?” That would stay, right?”

Lori nods hesitantly, “I guess. But that might be dangerous.”

“Right,” she replies glumly.

“You love me?” Kara whispers.

“Yeah.”

“I love you, too.”

“I know, darling. I know…”

“You ready?”

“No.”

“Me neither.”

“I don’t want to forget this.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Kara sighs, and leans back to press a soft kiss to the corner of Lena’s mouth. Not quite a full kiss or a kiss on the cheek, but something in between.

It’s goodbye, for now.

It’s until next time.

It’s “ _.kao shuh ? _ ,” she breathes as Lori clicks her watch and steps through the swirling vortex, as J’onn gently pulls them apart, as they give each other tearful looks, as J’onn places a hand on each of their heads and pulls it all away.

It’s  _ to be continued... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kryptonese trnaslations:
> 
> /ieiu/ = mom
> 
> /aiahv/ = aunt
> 
> /zrhythrev ,ehl,/ = The House of El
> 
> /taraozhodh zhehd?/ = Does she [Lena] know? 
> 
> /.aovehmodh khuhp w gehd/ = I'm sorry (this one needs a little explanation. There's no word for sorry in the Kryptonian language. Spanish has one, but they also use a phrase "Lo siento" which literally translates to "I feel it." Weird, I know. But that's exactly what this is. 
> 
> /.tulem khuhp rrivodh w voiehd/ = I need to do this (aka I need to tell Lena)
> 
> /kao shuh/ = To be continued (this actually makes no sense, but kara says it to kal as he leaves, saying the closest english translation is khao shuh... but neither are actually kryptahniuo words in the dictionary so... idk. i also don't know how to spell it!)  
> edit: okay so pronunciation wise, it should actually be /kao shuh/, so i edited it to look like that...  
> and also, i dunno how to say it in kryptonese... but probably would be something like /nim rrosh/ like... will be continued... or basically will be go because no kryptonese word for continue heh
> 
> i wish i could've used more kryptahniuo but I'm stressed and things hurt and i don't have time :((
> 
>  **EDIT: HI I FORGOT I WANTED TO DO A KRYPTONESE PHRASE OF THE DAY AND HAVE YOU GUYS GUESS WHAT IT IS!!** if you guess it right I'll give you, umm, a virtual hug :D idk... anyway, here's the phrase (the answer will be revealed next chapter so i dare you to guess): 
> 
> _/.she zharroshodh rraop i zhor rrem skilorodh rraop w khuhp/_
> 
> hint: you've most likely seen this phrase/lyric in this book multiple times :3  
> also, [kryptonian.info](http://kryptonian.info/doyle/dictionary.html) is a great resource, especially the dictionary, which is the link!  
> (also, disclaimer, it might be wrong... because i don't know kryptahniuo. this is my best guess for a translation with the limited words in the dictionary, so there are words omitted from this lyric/quote. for future quotes, keep in mind that like, everything might be wrong and if you can't guess it even with the dictionary, it's probably my fault xD)
> 
> edit: chapter has now been edited with hover-over translations by the kryptonese and it's 1:17 am and gosh i have finals tomorrow (it's 1/21/21 sdlkfjds it's been a bit since i wrote this)


	22. she wasn't my everything 'til we were nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> songfic based on Ariana Grande's [my everything](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxWSDUC-KTU)
> 
> Day 22: Whiskey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I'M SUPER LATE I'M SO SORRY
> 
> Chapter Title also from "My Everything" by Ariana Grande.

Lena’s go-to coping method becomes whiskey after her fallout with Kara.

It’s easy when the glass decanter on her shelf is always filled with the amber liquid. 

It’s easy, too easy when it rounds all the sharp edges and numbs the sting just a little, when the liquid burning down her throat makes a warmth bloom in her chest, a warmth chases away the cold of the Fortress that still lingers, even if it’s just temporarily.

She rolls a sip around in her mouth, breathing slowly through her nose as it burns cold and then hot. Her tongue tingles and prickles and she swallows almost forcibly, hating the way it only reminds her of Kara.

Kara’s always hated whiskey. 

**_I've cried enough tears to see my own reflection in them_ **

Her jaw clenches as tears fill her eyes, falling drop by drop when she blinks. She’s grateful that the whiskey warms her just enough so that she can hardly feel bleeding down her flushed cheeks.

Lena tries to only taste the alcohol, the burn, but there’s a subtle sweetness that says  _ Kara _ , and the warmth that floods through her body is almost like an embrace, soft, gentle flames lapping upwards in a fireplace,  _ Kara _ .

She slams her glass down onto the picture, watching with satisfaction as the glass splinters beneath the swirling alcohol. 

That’s what they are now. Broken, shattered, maybe not beyond repair, but enough to be thrown into the trash.

Lena downs the rest of the whiskey, swallowing back a cough as her eyes water. She contemplates throwing the empty cup across the room just to see it shatter.

**_And then it was clear_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I can't deny I really miss it_ **

Lena wants to rip the picture of her and Kara. To just tear it apart until there’s no trace of Kara left.

She thinks she’d have to tear herself up in order to do that.

Her hands tremble as she holds the thin piece of paper she had grown used to looking at every day, fingers tense.

Tears, hot, burning,  _ searing  _ tears, scorch trails down her icy cheeks. She’s cold. Always cold because Kara’s not there to keep her warm.

The ice from the Fortress of Solitude seems to cling to her skin. She’s frostbitten, shivering, so, so cold. 

She reaches for the alcohol.

It’s hard not to when it makes her insides burn.

Not quite in the good way, closer to roaring fire and crackling sparks that leave her blackened and brittle, than a gentle flame, but it’ll do for now.

Although she’s not sure how much longer she can hold on to the heat.

It hadn’t even occurred to her how much she  _ wants _ Kara, how much she  _ needs _ Kara until she loses her. 

**_To think that I was wrong_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I guess you don't know what you got 'til it's gone_ **

It hurts now, more than she’s willing to admit.

Sure, her mother despised her, and her brother ruined her reputation and last name, but the pain from what they’ve done, combined, is nothing in comparison to the agony she’s in.

Day after day after day and it doesn’t get any easier like they say it will.

Lena still sees  _ her _ occasionally, just a mere flash as she blurs past her balcony, at the coffee shop she frequents every morning, on the news.

Somehow her heart still stops when she sees her. Her heart still does that hopeful little jump like she still has a chance, like it refuses to stop loving her, like she  _ can’t _ stop loving her.

Maybe it’s her fault.

Maybe she’s overreacting.

Watching those cerulean eyes on the news makes the pain lift just a tiny bit, but she looks for a second too long and hates that the eyes she sees aren’t Kara’s.

They’re Supergirl’s.

Just a symbol, a hero, a paragon.

They’re so empty. Kara’s not in there.

Her heart cracks just a little bit more.

**_Pain is just a consequence of love_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I’m saying sorry for the sake of us_ **

And maybe it’s her fault after all.

It’s all over the news when Supergirl loses a fight to an alien. She hasn’t lost since she started.

The DEO is left to apprehend it, and three of them are injured in the process.

Reporters swarm her with questions the next time she’s seen in public again, and Lena just watches numbly as Supergirl ignores them, head high.

But her jaw is tight and her eyes are hard. The tendons in her neck are prominent, and Lena has to look away because that’s what Kara looks like right when she’s about to cry.

Only Lena sees the way her eyes are fixed on a distant point of nothing in particular, how her bottom lip trembles in the slightest when she opens her mouth to utter a polite response quietly.

**_[S]he wasn't my everything 'til we were nothing_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And it's taken me a lot to say_ **

Lena clutches her glass of whiskey so hard her fingers ache and the glass feels like it’s going to shatter. But she’s not strong enough.

She’s never been strong enough.

Her eyes find their way back to that picture, where they’re just Lena and Kara, best friends. Again, Lena considers cutting Kara from the picture.

She looks at herself. A small smile, but radiant. Her eyes are light, and the corners are crinkled, a sign of a genuine smile. She looks  _ happy _ .

The worst part? She can’t cut Kara away because that smile, that happiness, it's always going to be  _ Kara _ . She’s never going to get that back.

**_And now that [s]he's gone, my heart is missing something_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So it's time to push my pride away_ **

Lena’s always been wary of alcohol. It’s what drove her father away from her and what ultimately killed him. 

She’s always eyed it with a distaste, taking small, polite sips when offered, but always turning it down for the fear she would end up like her father, leaning on alcohol to keep her alive, and then succumbing to the issues that came with it. The consequences.

Now, she understands why her father was so dependent on it for the latter half of his life, why he always turned to it when his wife or his children became mere annoyances and frustrations. Why he used it to drown out everything.

Maybe she should just accept the consequences of her actions, the pain that comes with pushing love away. Or maybe take responsibility for her own actions.

**_'Cause you are, you are, you are my everything_ ** **_  
_ ** **_You are, you are, you are my everything_ **

It’s always Kara. 

It’s Kara who she sees on the television.

It’s Kara who she sees flashing past her window.

It’s Kara who she sees walking along the side.

Lena crosses the street so they don’t have to be on the same side.

It’s Kara she sees when the whiskey loosens her tongue and she catches the ghost of a smile on her lips in the reflection of the window.

She presses her lips into a line.

It’s always Kara. It’s always been Kara.

Kara’s her sun. And everything she is revolves around her.

She finds it hard to even hate that.

**_I know you're not far, but I still can't handle all the distance_ **

It’s always Kara who sees Lena first.

When she catches sight of her ex-best friend, she’s always already looking at her. When she sees Kara, she’s already looking at her, gazing at her almost longingly.

She looks away when Lena catches her, when Lena only manages to catch a flash of the ocean she’s still drowning in.

For that split second, it feels okay. When green meets blue, for that single moment in time, Lena almost lets her guard down.

And then Kara turns away and she sees the hunched back and the crooked glasses, the sloppily-tied hair, and the lack of a smile.

She knows it’s her fault.

Her heart aches and there’s nothing she can do about it. **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_You're traveling with my heart_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I hope this is a temporary feeling_ **

She just wants it to stop.

Maybe it can. Maybe she’s just prolonging her pain by holding back. Maybe she’s just isolated herself, locked herself up for good reason, pushed everyone away for an irrational reason.

Maybe it’s all a mistake, and one day she’ll fix it.

But she doesn’t want to be wrong.

Because maybe one day, it’ll get easier. It’ll fade. They say it does, doesn’t it?

She doesn’t want to think the pain she’s gone through to ensure she’s never hurt again is futile.

**_'Cause it's too much to bear without you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_When I lose sight, ain't lookin'_ **

Her fingers twitch when her eyes land on the decanter of tempting amber liquid.

The painkiller is hard to resist.

And she knows, she knows full well, that band-aids can’t fix bullet holes, that this wound is going to need more than a simple bandage.

But it’s only a temporary relief.

Because who cares about permanent when the future looks like nothing?

She slaps a band-aid on the gash in her heart, and maybe the trickle of blood slows for a minute.

But only a minute.

**_If I go tomorrow, just know I'm yours_ ** **_  
_ ** **_'Cause what we got is worth fighting for_ **

She feels like she’s going to die some days.

Some days, it gets so bad she wakes up crying, her eyes puffy, cheeks caked in salt from dried tears.

Some days, she doesn’t have the energy to get up out of bed.

Some days, she eyes herself in the mirror and wonders  _ what’s the point? _ She curses herself for letting Kara get in too deep.

Because a wound from the outside? Easy. Stitches, maybe surgery. It heals, leaving virtually no trace except a small scar.

A wound from the inside? A little harder. It takes a little more to stop the internal bleeding.

A self-inflicted wound? How’s it going to heal if she can’t even find it?

Some days, she wonders if Kara would catch her if she throws herself off the balcony.

Some days, she sits at her desk, toes curling as she fights to keep her composure, hands gripping the edge of the table so hard she almost leaves a dent. She grinds her teeth into dust, and she has to close her eyes and breathe because her chest feels like it’s caving in.

**_'Cause you were, you were my everything 'til we were nothing_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And it's taken me a lot to say_ **

And maybe Lena has closed all her doors, but there’s a broken window that’s never going to fully close. She knows Kara’s always going to be able to climb in through there, and when she does, she’s not going to be able to stop her.

She tries, tries  _ so hard _ to forget. Whiskey helps, just a little bit. Curbs the point of the blade and makes it a little harder to pierce her skin. Warmth slides through her body, not the right type of heat, but it’s all she has, and so she’s going to take it. She tries with all of her heart to make Kara nothing, but she can’t do it.

No matter what, Kara’s always going to be everything to her.

She makes a decision.

**_And now that you're gone, my heart is missing something_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So it's time to push my pride away_ **

Lena shows up at Kara’s loft.

She doesn’t knock.

The door opens.

“How did you know I was here?”

Kara doesn’t answer at first.

She stands there, fists clenched, jaw tight, willing the tears to stay behind her eyes.

“I listen for you heartbeat,” she admits.

Her heart clenches.

“I’m so sorry,” she chokes out, and the first tear falls. Lena wipes it away almost angrily, turning her head away so Kara can’t see how pathetic she is. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“No,” the superhero whispers, “ _ I’m _ sorry. I should’ve told you.”

“No,” Lena says back, “I’m responsible for my actions. Like you said. There’s never going to be an excuse for what I did to you. There’s never going to be enough words for me to say how sorry I am.”

**_You are, you are, you are my everything_ **

“I don’t want to forgive you,” Kara mumbles through clenched teeth. Her eyes close and tears spill.

“You don’t have to. I know, my actions are inexcusable. And you don’t ever have to forgive me. I’m never going to be able to make up for what I did and deserve your forgiveness. But I can try to earn it.” She swallows the whimper-y edge that’s welling up in her throat. 

“Oh, Lena,” Kara says brokenly, giving her a small smile like she knows something Lena doesn’t. “You were always forgiven.”

A sob bursts from her chest.

“I tried to hate you. After Myriad, and the kryptonite, I really did. I can’t. I can’t hate you, Lena. I can’t be mad at you. Why?” Loose blonde hair tumbles over her face as her head droops.

**_You are, you are, you are my everything_ **

“I don’t know.” It’s barely audible.

“Why-” Kara breaks off, swallowing a sob, “Why can’t I stay mad at you? Why can’t I hate you? Why- why after all of this, do I still  _ love you _ ?”

Her heart stops.

“What?”

A low, trembling sob ebbs out of Kara’s throat, and Lena’s fingers curl at the sound of agony.

Guilt.

“I love you. I can’t stop loving you. I- I- my heart- I can’t erase you.”

Lena takes a step forward. Kara doesn’t move, just looks almost expectantly at her through tear-filled eyes.

“It’d be so much easier wouldn’t it,” Lena chokes out a wet laugh, taking another small step forward. 

**_You are, you are, you are_ **

There are six feet of distance between them, but it feels like an ocean, a galaxy, a universe is separating them.

“It really would.”

Lena hesitates.

Kara nods.

She steps over the threshold and it’s like everything collapses inside of her.

The ice breaks and the walls crumble and the dam falls, and the ocean rushes out.

She hasn’t been here in a while, not for months. She’s finally back. 

It looks the same.

“I love you,” she blurts out.

Kara doesn’t question it. Just steps forward, and traverses the entire damn universe between them. 

She closes the distance, throwing herself flush against Lena.

“I love you.”

**_You are, you are, you are my everything_ **

“I never stopped loving you.”

She closes her eyes and cries silently into Kara’s sweater, her body shaking so hard she almost falls over.

This is more than a band-aid over a bullet hole. It’s the first surgery of many, the first step into rebuilding everything that had been torn down.

Lena starts with the picture. She pulls it out from under the broken glass, sweeps the fragments into the trash.

She puts the treasure into another frame, something sturdier. Something that isn’t a relationship built on a foundation of half-lies and partial-truths and evasions and omissions.

Kara’s cheek is pressed tightly to the top of Lena’s head, arms wrapping tightly around her waist. 

Because she’s let her go once before, and now, she never wants to do it again. She’s never going to do it again.

“ _.nahn rrip w khuhp i ju” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /.nahn rrip w khuhp i ju/ = you are my everything  
> (literally: you are my all)
> 
>  **kryptonese phrase of the day!**  
>  _/.zhanahn ehrosh ahvriges im rraop i shesur .nahn gehd kypzrhiges im rraop i shesur/_  
>  hint: george bernard shaw (not word for word because i think it sounds better this way :D)
> 
>  **answer for yesterday's:** maybe your heart still stops when you see me  
> /.she zharroshodh rraop i zhor rrem skilorodh rraop w khuhp/ (it's not completely accurate; the word "still" is omitted because it's not in the dictionary. /she/ = maybe; /rraop i/ = your; /zhor/ = heart; /zharroshodh/ = stops (/zha/= no, /rroshodh/= move); /rrem/ = when; /rraop/ = you; /skilorodh/ = see; /khuhp/ = me; /w/ is the object particle)
> 
> <3


	23. kiss me and take off your clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 23: Undress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I'M SUPER DUPER LATE I'M SO SORRY THIS IS LIKE 3 DAYS BEHIND AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED THE TOPIC FROM DAY 24 YET I'M SO SCREWED
> 
> ALSO I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO END THIS AHAHAHA SO THIS IS WEIRD AND AWKWARD
> 
> also this entire thing is super awkward and weird and was inspired by a victorious fanfic
> 
> ahahahahaha i made the chapter title so misleading but it doesn't happen in that order so
> 
> Chapter Title from Ariana Grande's "Imagine."

_ Come to the bathroom, please,  _ the text reads. Kara frowns, eyeing the message from her best friend.

_ Which one? _ she taps back quickly.

_ The one by the vending machine. Hurry. _

Her heart skips a beat. There’s something wrong. 

_ Be there in a jiffy _ , she sends back, breaking into a run. If she uses her super-speed in the empty hallways, well, it’s because she’s worried. 

“What’s wrong?” she bursts in, ducking under the door of the handicapped stall nimbly.

“Kara,” Lena looks relieved and a little embarrassed, “Hi, uhm, my zipper is stuck. Can you help?”

She eyes the one-piece jumpsuit Lena had worn to the dance. The zipper is pulled halfway down her back, but it doesn’t budge when the raven-haired reaches to tug at it.

“Sure.” Kara relaxes, her heart slowing when she realizes there’s nothing really wrong. She had probably just interpreted the connotations wrong. 

“Also, what the heck is a jiffy?” Lena lets out an amused snort.

“Oh, uh, it means, like, a short period of time? Like “be there in a second,” kinda.” She takes in her friend’s amusement with a pout, “I looked it up on the internet!”

“Darling, no one uses that anymore.” 

Her heart jumps a little at the nickname. “Oh,” she says, deflated. 

Lena shuffles her feet a bit, “Help,” she reminds her, turning so her back faces her.

“Right,” Kara manages, her mouth drying a little when she sees the exposed expanse of porcelain skin between Lena’s shoulder blades.

She gives the zipper an experimental tug, and it stays stuck, the slider unmoving.

“Huh,” she mutters, juggling the pull tab. It inches down a mere fraction of a centimeter.

Lena inhales slowly. Her feet twitch on the vinyl tiles, almost uncomfortably.

“You okay?”

She nods.

Kara gets back to work tugging on the zipper, and Lena shifts, hands wrapping around her own arms, loosely hugging herself. The muscles in her legs jump.

“Lena?” her eyebrows stitch together. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she replies calmly, but her teeth are slightly gritted, “Just keep going.” 

“Okay,” she says slowly, lips dipping into a frown as her fingers try to extricate the slider from its position in the teeth. 

There’s a sharp intake of breath, and Kara hears teeth clamp together. She listens a little harder, and Lena’s heart rate is fast, much faster than normal. 

Her eyebrows furrowed in worry and confusion, she continues to pull the zipper, fractions of a centimeter at a time.

Her heart rate doesn’t slow. In fact, it continues to increase, and Kara opens her mouth to question Lena again when there’s a gasp. 

“Keep going,” Lena urges, jaw clenched. 

“What’s wrong, Lee?”

“Hurry,” she mutters faintly, and her fingers work more frantically at the metal, trying not to bend it because doing so will reveal her identity as Supergirl.

“What’s wrong?”

Lena doesn’t answer, just forces her thighs tighter together and hunches her back a little. Her arms wrap around her midsection. 

“Lena.”

She stops, gently spinning her friend by the shoulders so she can face her. 

Lena just groans when her feet move. There’s pain etched in her voice and face. 

“Lena. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Her eyes are screwed shut, and her knees are locked so tightly Kara’s worried she’s going to pass out. 

“Need to pee,” she murmurs faintly, cheeks coloring red. 

“Oh,” she breathes.

“Yeah. Please hurry,” her friend pleads, “Hurts.”

She kicks into action then; her best friend is in pain and she has to fix it. 

“I’m going to rip it apart, okay?”

Lena grunts, “Just do it. If you can. The material is really tough. My mom is gonna kill me, but whatever.”

“Oh gosh, is it expensive?”

“Yeah.”

She hesitates, before bracing her hands on either side of the zipper, fingers gripping the fabric. 

Kara pulls the metal teeth apart, the metal separating easily with her super-strength. 

“Got it,” she breathes, ignoring Lena’s murmur of surprise when she hastily tugs the article of clothing towards her feet. 

She has to fight the urge not to press a kiss into the smooth expanse of pale skin she exposes, her lips tightening.

Lena’s left standing in her panties and bra, and Kara feels her face flush. 

“I don’t think I can move,” she groans, doubled over, forearms braced against her lower abdomen.

She steps forward then, pushing away the way her heart leaps into her throat and the crazy fluttering in her stomach. “Hey, Lee, relax. I’m going to pull your underwear down, okay?”

“Thank you,” Lena whispers.

Kara swallows audibly, her own heartbeat drowning out her friend’s. 

She slips her fingers lightly in the waistband, slowly tugging downward, simultaneously hating and loving the way Lena’s skin burns her fingers.

Her eyes never leave her face.

_ Never thought that this would be the first time I was gonna do this,  _ she can’t help but think. Heat blooms in her face, all the way to the tips of her ears. 

Once the underwear is around her ankles, Kara gently maneuvers Lena to the toilet, and if she’s floating slightly, the latter doesn’t notice it. Or doesn’t say anything of it.

She grabs a paper seat protector with one hand and sits her friend in the cold porcelain seat. 

Kara averts her gaze, stepping back, making note of the grunt of pain and relief Lena lets out as the soft tinkle of liquid hitting the toilet fills the air.

She waits until it stops and a while longer before she turns around.

Lena sits, hunched over on the toilet, fingers gripping her jumpsuit.

“How did you…?” she runs her thumbs over the distorted metal teeth of the zipper, bent from being yanked apart with so much force.

Kara looks anywhere but at her friend. There’s really nothing else she can do except what she does next. 

Her fingers swiftly unhook the first button on her button-up. The theme of the dance had been semi-formal, so she had just worn the typical white button-up top and black skirt all the music kids wore in performances. 

“Kara? What are you doing?”

She swallows, undoing another button, and then another until she’s undone enough to reveal the emblem on her chest.

Lena gasps.

“I- I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. No one knows, and I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. But you’re my friend and you deserve to know, but I kept this secret from you, and that was wrong of me. I’m sorry Lena.”

Her words become more desperate as she continues, silently begging Lena to say something with her eyes, to react because this silence she’s receiving is much worse than the angry or disappointed, maybe even hurt response she expected. 

Lena looks up at her finally, then back down at the suit in her fingers. She straightens up, and Kara’s gaze instinctively drops to her chest, just covered by a bra.

She clears her throat, forcibly ripping her gaze away, face burning. 

“Kara.”

She looks up, her heart leaping in her throat when she realizes Lena’s standing in front of her, completely undressed except for her underwear.

Her face warms, and her gaze drops, looking anywhere  _ but _ Lena.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, hands dropping to her sides limply. “It’s not because of Lex, I promise. I- I trust you completely. You- you have to believe me! I promise I-”

Her breath hitches when hands brush against her suit.

Her head snaps up, first at Lena, whose face is completely impassive, and then at her hands, which hover over her half-unbuttoned dress shirt.

Lithe fingers continue to undo the buttons until the sides hang open, revealing the entire top.

“Lena?” she breathes.

Pale hands trace the symbol on her chest, brushing so gently over the slight swell of her chest it almost tickles. Her breath hitches audibly.

“Say something, please,” she pleads, voice breaking.

“You’re her,” Lena says simply. Her voice is steady, and when she looks up, Kara is surprised to see tears in her eyes.

“Yeah. I- I’m sorry.”

“No.” Lena swallows the sob that builds in her throat, “My brother. He- he hurt you.”

Realization strikes her like lightning. “But I’m okay.”

“No. T- _ that’s _ why you didn’t go to school for three days. H-he kidnapped you. And used kryptonite on you.”

“Lena,” she whispers, “I’m fine now. He didn’t hurt me.”

“He could’ve killed you!” she almost shrieks, “All those times, on the news, when you fought an alien and lost, all those times you- criminals almost beat you, that- that was  _ you _ , Kara. How am I supposed to live knowing that?”

“Knowing what?” she rasps stupidly.

“Knowing that you’re Supergirl!” she snaps. “Knowing you’re the very person my brother has targeted multiple times. That you put yourself in danger every single freaking day. You could get hurt, you could  _ die _ !”

Kara takes Lena’s hands in hers gently, “Hey, Lee. I go out as Supergirl every day  _ knowing _ the risks that come with it. I choose it. It’s what I was sent here to do.”

“You- you’re  _ seventeen _ ! You have over, I dunno, a hundred years left to live under the yellow sun. That’s if you don’t get yourself killed!”

“I’m not going to die.”

“You don’t know that for sure!”

“I have the DEO. I have people helping me.”

“Kara,” Lena inhales shakily, “How do you expect me to live knowing that any day, I might never see you again just because you tried to save someone, or fix something? How am I supposed to go around acting like everything’s okay when you could die?”

“I’m practically invulnerable.”

Lena continues on like she doesn’t hear her. “How am I supposed to act normal knowing the girl I love puts herself in danger every day?” She breaks off into a sob, angrily ripping her hands from Kara’s to wipe her eyes. “That one day you might not come back, and I’ll never have gotten to say goodbye? No! That’s not how it’s supposed to be. I’m supposed to die before you do! I’m not supposed to have to say goodbye to you when you can outlive me by decades? You- you can’t be around me, Kara. I’m a danger to your life. I- I have to go.”

The superhero darts in front of the door before Lena can unlock it. “You- you love me?”

The Luthor snorts, “ _ That’s _ all you got from everything I just said? Yes, you  _ idiot _ . I love you because I’m in love with you. Now, I’ve humiliated myself enough in front of you today. Just let me leave!”

“N-no,” she stutters out, “You’re my best friend, Lena. I’m not letting you go like that!”

“Great,” she mutters under her breath, “Just got friend-zoned.”

Kara’s eyes widen, “I didn’t mean it like that, Lee. You know that. I’m not letting go of you.”

“I’m a danger to your life.”

“I put myself in danger,  _ willingly _ . Nothing you do is going to change that.”

Lena swallows, biting her lower lip to keep it from trembling so hard. “I don’t want to put you in more danger than you’re already in, okay? You’re not supposed to die before I do. When I grow old, you’re still going to be young and beautiful, and I’m going to die first because humans have a shorter lifespan. I don’t know if I can bear losing you,” she breathes raggedly. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you, Kara.

“It’s going to hurt so bad.” she wraps her arms around her bare torso, shutting her eyes. It’s almost as if she’s talking to herself.

“It’s better if I just cut myself off now. You’re safer that way, and I don’t have to watch the love of my life die.”

“Lena, stop,” Kara begs, “You’re my- gosh, I can’t even say, I can’t- you’re my world, Lena. My everything. You can’t just do- you can’t just say you’re going to- you know-” Her rambles became increasingly frustrated, and she just can’t find the words to say, so she just throws herself at her best friend, crashing their lips together.

Lena melts into Kara’s arms, and for one blissful moment she’s kissing back, but then she pulls away.

“Kara. Why did you do that?”

“I- I thought you said you were- you know…”

She sighs, “I am. I love you, Kara, but you don’t like me that way.”

“Who says I don’t?” she bursts out.

Lena eyes her warily, something resembling hope glinting in her eyes, “Do you?”

She nods vigorously, “I love you, Lena. I’m in love with you. Please, don’t leave me.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and I really want to kiss you again, so please…?”

Lena laughs wetly, sniffling. “Okay.”

Kara’s grinning so wide that her first kiss lands on her teeth. Soft giggles punctuate softer kisses as Lena pulls Kara closer by the lapels of her dress shirt. The latter’s arms slip around the former’s waist almost instinctively, and Lena gasps at the warmth of Kara’s hands sliding against her stomach and back.

“This is not how I imagined I’d be seeing you without clothes for the first time,” the blonde mumbles against her lips.

Lena pulls back with a snort of laughter, “So you’ve imagined it?”

Kara’s eyes widen comically. “I, uh, my brain to mouth filter isn’t working.”

“Really?” The Luthor leans forward, her voice dropping until it’s almost sultry.

“Yes,” she squeaks. “Uh, uhhhh, you’re really beautiful.”

“I am?”

“Y-yeah.”

“What’s your favorite part of me?”

“Your eyes,” Kara answers without hesitation, gazing almost tenderly into them.

“Why?”

“They’re beautiful. And green. It’s like kryptonite.”

Lena’s brows furrow, “Kryptonite?”

“Yeah,” Kara hums against the other girl’s lips, “Your eyes are like kryptonite. They’re my kryptonite.  _ You’re  _ my kryptonite.”

“Is that supposed to be a good thing?”

“Mhm.”

“Kara…”

"Shh..."

"But- but what if that means I can hurt you?"

"That's a risk I'm willing to take. I love you."

"I love you, too. Kara, but-"

"Shhh..."

"But wh-"

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

“...Okay.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **kryptonian phrase of the day!**  
>  _/.kao-:bezhgamodh rraop rrehd kaochadodh rraop/_  
>  hint: jennifer lopez? idk everyone says this  
> hint 2: /kao/ is an imperative suffix and does not change the meaning of a verb
> 
>  **answer for yesterday's:**  
>  /.zhanahn ehrosh ahvriges im rraop i shesur .nahn gehd kypzrhiges im rraop i shesur/ = Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. (except i think it sounds better without the "life" repetition.)
> 
> explanation (lmao free kryptonese lesson no one reads):  
> /ehrosh/= life  
> /zhanahn/= is not (/zha/= no, /nahn/= is)  
> /im/= about  
> /ahvriges/= finding (/ahvrig/= find, /-es/= present progressive suffix)  
> /rraop i/= your (/rraop/= you, /i/= inalienable possessivee particle)  
> /shesur/= self/spirit/soul  
> /gehd/= it;  
> /nahn/ is  
> /im/ = about  
> /kypzrhiges/= creating (/kypzrhig/= create, /-es/= present progressive suffix)  
> /rraop i shesur/ = yourself
> 
> EDIT: there was a part when the second /nahn/ was /zhinahn/ because my dumb, sleep-deprived butt was like oH fOr CoNtRaSt but nOPE because i have learned that /zhi/ also happens to be an obligatory verb suffix... yay me
> 
> tell me if you want me to stop being a tryhard and making these weird kryptahniuo things (but honestly, it's a great way for me to familiarize myself with the language)
> 
> <3


	24. i'll be right there just to hug you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 24: Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters today so far and it's only 1:50 am eyyyyy
> 
> here's 1.5k words of tooth-rotting fluff that just keeps going because i couldn't figure out a way to end it
> 
> also, please keep in mind every chapter is unedited, so i would really appreciate if you could point out mistakes xD
> 
> Chapter Title from "Get Well Soon" by Ariana grande.

“Lena?” Kara wrings her hands, something she does when she’s nervous, Lena’s noticed.

“What is it, darling? You can tell me.”

“I’m going to be gone for a day, maybe longer,” she reveals slowly.

“Where are you going?”

“Uh, you don’t know where.”

“Tell me. No secrets, remember?”

“You won’t get it.”

“Try me.” Lena cocks an eyebrow.

She takes a deep breath, “To Barry’s… Earth.”

“Wait, what? And who’s Barry?”

“Barry is… the fastest man alive. Faster than me. He got struck by lightning from a particle accelerator, and long story short, he has superspeed.”

“Oh,” Lena frowns. “Why haven’t I heard of him?”

“That’s the thing.” Kara shuffles her feet, “He doesn’t live on this Earth.”

“You mean, another planet?”

“No. Like an… alternate universe?”

“So the multiverse theory is true,” Lena muses. “Interesting.”

“That’s it?”

“What?”

“I thought you were going to react differently. Like, freak out, or something.”

“It’s cool. But why do you have to go?”

“Barry’s getting married and he’s inviting the whole, erm, justice league, sort of team. The thing is, they’re all on Earth-1, and I’m here. So he sent us the invitation with a device that opens a breach into his world,” Kara explains.

“Earth--1? What Earth are we?”

“Thirty-eight.”

“Huh. Did Barry make up the numbers? Why thirty-eight?”

Kara shrugs, “I guess in the order he discovered them? Or named them, at least. There’s fifty-two Earths we know of so far. This was one of the first alternate earth’s he went to when he ran too fast and disrupted the vibrational frequency that keeps the Earths apart and invisible to all the others, and he jumped here.”

“That’s actually really cool. I’ll miss you, though.”

“I’ll miss you too,” Kara gives her a little frown, kissing her softly on the lips.

“Don’t get distracted saving their world. You’ve already saved this one multiple times.”

“Aww, don’t be jealous.”

“Not jealous,” Lena mumbles into her girlfriend’s shoulder. “I just want you to be home as soon as possible.”

“It’s only for a few days, at most. I might even come back by today.”

“Ah, but you forget Murphy’s Law. You’re a trouble magnet, darling.”

“Murphy’s Law?”

“Anything that can go wrong will go wrong,” she recites, pressing a gentle kiss to Kara’s temple as she does so.

“Oh. That’s… pessimistic.”

“Be back by a week, okay, love?”

“I’ll try.”

Lena just wraps her arms tighter around Kara, “I’ll miss you so much.”

“You don’t even notice I’m gone. C’mon, I’ll be fast.”

“I don’t want you to go,” she mutters, voice muffled by Kara’s shoulder.

“Keep yourself occupied. Do what you usually do when I’m gone.”

Lena huffs.

“What do you usually do when I’m gone?” Kara wonders aloud.

“Wait for you to come back.”

The Girl of Steel _melts_ at that, kissing Lena softly, “Aww, okay. You make me soft. I love you. To the edge of the ever-expanding universe and back.”

“I love you to the edge of _every_ ever-expanding universe and back,” Lena counters with a cheeky smile. “Or, ooh, I love you to the edge of the ever-expanding _multiverse_ and back.”

“You adorable dork.”

She scrunches up her face when Kara boops her affectionately on the nose. “No booping.”

“You love it.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You love me.”

“That, I do,” Lena declares, burying her nose in her girlfriend’s neck, “When do you leave?”

“In a few hours. Alex is coming with me.”

“Good. Can’t trust you to go alone.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Knowing you, you’re going to get stuck inside a wormhole or something.”

“I am offended,” Kara gasps, feigning hurt. “You wound me.”

Lena laughs softly, “You’re cute.”

“That doesn’t make everything better?”

“Will a kiss?”

The blonde pretends to ponder, “Maybe. I have to see first.” She puckers her lips, leaning her face close to Lena’s.

The Luthor rolls her eyes fondly, pecking Kara’s lips softly.

“Hmm. I barely felt that. Again.”

Lena gives her a lingering kiss, letting their mouths touch for a few seconds.

“Ah, you’re going to have to do that again.”

Lena chuckles, kissing her girlfriend a little more passionately, biting back a grin when Kara makes a small noise in the back of her throat.

“Again?”

“You know, if you wanted to make out, you could’ve just asked.”

“More fun this way,” Kara mumbles, trailing butterfly kisses from her jaw to her lips, sighing contentedly when Lena’s tongue flicks against her lips.

They break apart, a little breathless, and no matter how many times they kiss, it always seems to be just as exhilarating as the first time.

“Cuddle until you hafta go?”

“I don’t know… I have to pack.”

“You have superspeed, darling.”

Kara gives her a stare of mock reluctance before huffing, “Fine.”

“You know you want it,” Lena chides as they settle on the couch, her back pressed against Kara’s front.

“Maybe,” she hums, wrapping an arm around Lena’s waist and tangling their legs.

“The bed’s going to be so cold without you,” she whispers softly.

“Lee, it’s not like we sleep together every night.”

“I sleep better with you around, knowing you’re safe. I hope you can say the same.” She wiggles until she’s facing Kara, tucking her head in the crook of her neck.

“I listen to your heartbeat every night to fall asleep,” Kara admits with a smile that reaches her eyes.

“I love you. And you’re like my personal heater. What am I supposed to do without you?”

“Turn on the heater?” she suggests.

“The heater sucks compared to you,” she complains, burrowing deeper into her girlfriend. Kara drapes Supergirl’s cape (where does she hide that in her pedestrian clothing?) over her back, the weight and warmth of it comforting.

“I wonder how you used to survive without me,” she mutters drily, but her voice is tinged with a warmth and admiration that makes Lena’s chest swell.

“I know, same. Life just sucks so much less with you in it.”

“Ditto to that,” Kara murmurs. “Wanna take a nap for the next few hours? Last sleep before I’m gone.”

“You say that like you’re going away a long time,” Lena pouts. “And sure, I bet you’re pretty exhausted from running around in my thoughts 24/7.”

The Kryptonian shakes with quiet laughter that makes her girlfriend grin secretly with pride, “I love you, ya doofus.”

“I love you, too. I’ll miss you. And your hugs. And your kisses.”

“It’s only for it bit, Lee. I’ll miss you, too, though.”

“I’ll probably miss you more.”

“Lies,” Kara pouts.

“Nooo, it hurts to miss you.”

“Oh, ho, ho, ho, if you think missing me is hard, you should try missing you.”

“Sometimes, I want to write “I miss you” on a rock and throw it at your face, so you could see how much it hurt, but… your face would probably break the rock and it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Wow, okay,” Kara bites back more giggles.

“You’re beautiful.”

“Mhm.”

“You could say _I’m_ beautiful.”

“You _are_ beautiful,” she promises.

Lena grins, sighing contentedly. “Now just hold me before I have to suffer through the freezing nights without you.”

“Turn. On. Your. Heater.”

“You’re my heater. Are you saying-”

“Lena!” Kara lets out a sharp laugh of amusement and exasperation. “You know what I mean. Keep yourself warm, and do something _other_ than wait for me to come back.”

She pouts, “But I’ll miss you.”

“And I’ll miss you, too, you dork.”

“Bleh.”

“Bleh, yourself. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Lena responds, almost automatically.

“You’ve said that, like six times in the past ten minutes.”

“Are you complaining? I can say it less if you wan-”

“No!” Kara yelps, “Don’t ever stop saying it.”

“I won’t,” she promises, “because I won’t ever stop loving you.”

The Kryptonian feigns incredulity, “I have turned _the_ Lena Luthor into a sap.”

“Aww, you love me.”

“You love me, too. Also, can you please invent inter-dimensional- wait, no, not dimensional. Erm, inter-multiverse texting? That’d be great.”

“Ooh, you’ll have to introduce me to the reality-traveling friends of yours, then.”

“One day,” Kara promises.

“One day,” Lena echoes, burying her face into the warmth of her girlfriend’s body. “Maybe we can invite them when we get married.”

“You want to get married?”

Her heart jumps a little. The words had slipped from her mouth, but it’s a little late to take them back. “Yeah,” she murmurs. “How could I live without my personal heater?”

“Lena,” Kara shakes her, “Really.”

“Yes, really. I want to marry you someday.”

“Is that a proposal?”

Lena panics, “N-no! Unless you want it to be? I want my proposal to be special and amazing.”

“You are special and amazing enough, Lee. I’m okay with this. I want to marry you in the future, too. Any proposal is perfect as long as you’re asking me to marry you. Or the other way around.”

She shakes her head stubbornly, “You have to let me propose, for real.”

“Okay. I’m looking forward to it.”

“But it’s not going to be a surprise if you look forward to it!”

“Oh, do you just expect me to forget that you wanna marry me one day?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s unfair.”

“Life is unfair, darling,” Lena says.

“Agreed. There’s no way it’s fair I met someone as perfect as you.”

“I’m not perfect, love.”

“You are to me. That’s enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **kryptonian phrase of the day!** (or not, more like hour at this point... or maybe like every 2 days)  
>  _/.kaopahskilodh zhehd w jolum/_  
>  hint: again, the prefix /kao-/ is an imperative marker and doesn' change the meaning of a verb.  
> hint 2: the verb is a synonym for the actual, intended one since it doesn't exist in kryptonese, but it's pretty obvious once you get it  
> hint 3: /w/ is also known as the object particle, meaning it is a word/sound that marks the position of an object in a sentence since the structure is VSO (verb-subject-object), very different from English's SVO (subject-verb-object)
> 
>  **answer for yesterday's:**  
>  /.kao-:bezhgamodh rraop rrehd kaochadodh rraop/ = You get what you give.
> 
> /rraop/= you  
> /bezhgamodh/= get (/bezhgam/= (able to) get, /-odh/= simple present suffix)  
> /rrehd/= what  
> /rraop/= you  
> /chadodh/= give (/chad/= (able to) get, /-odh/= simple present suffix)
> 
> ~~it cannot be healthy for a fourteen-year-old girl to stay up until 2 am writing fanfiction and then try to teach a nonexistent conlang while simultaneously attempting to learning it herself~~


	25. i hope someday i'll make it out of here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 25: Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear i'm trying to catch up, but it's 2 am and i don't think i can start another chapter today
> 
> seriously though, can someone teach me how to school... because i think I'm failing
> 
> i freaking reloaded this page after trying to open another tab... screw me
> 
> EDIT: i forgot to say!!! this chapter is inspired by the first (?) episode of this chinese drama (which i didn't understand without the subtitles alsdkfjldk) called "someday or one day." it's this really cool time-travel love story and i suggest watching it :)
> 
> Chapter Title from Billie Eilish's "Lovely."

It’s Lena’s birthday.

The day is going terrible.

It’s the fifth birthday she’s celebrating without Kara. Or,  _ not _ celebrating, actually.

Birthdays hadn’t been a big deal until Kara had come along and insisted they were special occasions.

She lets out a shuddering sigh when she’s called down to the lab because there’s been an accident.

Lena has to refrain from just crumpling to the floor when her decanter of water spills to the floor, immediately soaking into her spotless carpet.

She accidentally knocks her laptop to the ground.

And then at lunch, she gets her hopes up when there’s a knock at her door. 

_ It’s been over four years. She’s not coming back. Not after how you treated her. _

Her heart feels like it’s breaking all over again.

Lena’s never hated her own birthday more.

That says a lot considering she grew up with the Luthors.

***

At five pm, she’s packing up from L-Corp. It’s early, much earlier than she usually leaves, possibly the earliest she’s ever left work in the last few years, but she’s not sure if she can take the silence today.

She’s about to leave, to go home, bag slung over her shoulder when several people burst in.

Her mouth is open, ready to dismiss them, but it’s Jess and Sam, holding a small cake and grinning hesitantly.

“Happy birthday, Lena!” Sam waves.

“Happy birthday, Miss Luthor,” Jess says respectfully. “This was her idea, by the way.”

“It’s Lena, Jess,” she sighs. Despite her bad mood and urge to just lash out and go home, she’s a little grateful there are still people who care for her. “Sam, did you come all the way from Metropolis?”

She shrugs nonchalantly, “Maybe.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I’m not letting you spend another birthday alone.”

“I did my entire life growing up.”

“Yeah, until-”

“Don’t,” she barks, and she sees Jess flinch and avert her gaze. “Don’t,” she says, softer. “Please. Not today.”

“Sorry,” Sam winces, shifting the cake in her hands. “We brought you a cake, though. And you’re eating it with us.”

She sighs, setting her bag down. “It’s not like I have a choice.”

Jess gives her a hesitant smile, looking worried, “Miss Luthor, you shouldn’t have to celebrate your birthday alone.”

“Jess, I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine as I am.”

“Lena, when was the last time you went out and just had fun with someone? Or even hung out with someone?”

She doesn’t answer. She knows the answer, but she can’t bring herself to say it aloud.

“You need friends.”

“No, I don’t,” Lena retorts firmly. “If you’re just going to lecture me on my lack of a social life, I’m leaving.”

Sam and Jess exchange a worried and resigned look, just sighing. The latter pulls out a lighter, lighting the single candle on the top of the cake.

“Make a wish,” Sam says softly, eyes fixed on the fluttering flame, a flicker of warmth and light in the dim room.

“Okay,” she shrugs. “I wish that… L-Corp will-”

“Lena. For yourself.  _ Not _ the company.”

“The company is literally all I have.”

“ _ Lena _ .”

“Fine.” She huffs, lips halfway into a pout before her heart clenches because it’s what Kara would do. She inhales sharply, clenching her jaw and shaking her head when Jess tips her head in question.

“I wish… for more wishes.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“That’s just how it works.”

“Oh, so there are rules now?”

Sam sticks out her tongue at her. “You know what I mean. Don’t wish for more wishes, and don’t say it out loud.”

“Why?” she asks. She knows the answer. Her eyes swim in tears.

“I don’t know. Maybe because it has a bigger chance of coming true?”

A memory hits her so hard she almost collapses onto her desk right then and there.

_ “Make a wish!” Kara holds the cake in front of her with a grin, the flame on top of the single candle fluttering as she moves it. _

_ “Why? That’s stupid. Only kids make wishes.” _

_ “Just do it, Lee. C’mon!” Her blue eyes twinkle, her smile so blindingly bright and warm Lena simultaneously feels the need to put on sunglasses and kiss her at the same time. _

_ “Okay, fine,” she groans, clasping her hands in front of her. “I wish-” _

_ “You can’t say it out loud!” Kara practically shrieks. _

_ “What? Why?” _

_ “Rules of the universe.” _

_ “No, seriously.” _

_ “I actually don’t know. Maybe it’s because it has a higher chance of coming true then.” _

_ “That makes absolutely no sense.” _

_ “I know!” her friend chirps cheerfully, “Just make a wish. Silently.” _

_ She wishes for the same thing that keeps her up at night. _

_ She wishes for Kara to love Lena the same way she loves her. _

A single, fat tear streaks down her face, and she ducks her head, screwing both eyes shut.

_ “I think I know why we don’t say our wishes out loud,” Lena muses the next year when she’s sitting in front of another birthday cake. _

_ “Why?” Kara asks curiously. It’s adorable. _

_ “It hurts less,” she answers simply. “If we don’t say it out loud, then maybe it’s not  _ really _ a wish, you know? Maybe if it doesn’t come true, it won’t hurt as much. And then the other people who hear it won’t feel as bad for you.” _

_ “Oh.” _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “I thought you were going to say something along the lines of disrupting the space-time continuum by essentially making someone know what you desire.” _

_ She snorts, but her throat and chest hurt. She’s fighting to stay intact. “How can we disrupt the space-time continuum if the future hasn’t come yet?” _

_ Kara scrunches up her nose in that cute way she does when she’s thinking. “I dunno, maybe the future might be different if you do it one way.” _

_ “That’s the multiverse theory, then. That there’s a universe, a timeline that proceeds from a choice you made.” _

_ “But isn’t time… linear? I mean, I like to believe in fate.” She smiles wistfully, in a way that makes Lena wonder if Kara’s in on some secret or inside joke she doesn’t know. “Maybe there’s one line, the flow of time. And changing the past alters the future.” _

_ “Mhm.” _

_ They’re silent then, watching the candle slowly shrink until it’s little more than a nub with a dying flame dancing on the blackened wick. _

_ “Make a wish and blow it out before it goes out, Lee!” _

_ She does. She makes the same wish as last year. _

_ They watch the liquid wax solidify on the fluffy buttercream. _

_ “Your wish from last year didn’t come true.” It’s a statement, not a question. _

_ “No, it didn’t,” she says quietly. _

_ Something inside of her breaks. _

Lena takes a shuddering breath, angrily wiping the tears that have managed to spill over.

She blows out the candle with a soft breath, eyes shut as she wishes for the same thing she has every birthday for the past four years.

She’s scared to open her eyes.

Kara’s not going to be there. It’s impossible.

She’s going to open her eyes, and it’s going to be Sam and Jess, looking at her with identical expressions of concern and pity.

She loathes the hope Kara’s ingrained in her.

She opens her eyes.

She was right.

***

When she gets home— well, as much  _ home _ she can get when she’s lost everything— she checks her text messages for the first time that day.

It’s there.

It’s always there.

Four years, without fail.

She’s not sure why she hasn’t blocked Kara’s number yet. Or Supergirl’s for that matter.

The message always comes from Kara’s phone.

_ Ehrosh :bem, Lee, _ the text reads, and there’s already tears streaking down her cheek, and her shoulders are already shaking from the force of her quiet sobs. _ Happy birthday. I know you still hate me. Is is dumb all my wishes these past few years have been on you? That you’ll stop hating me? And now that I’ve said it out loud, I suppose it’ll hurt more, but then, I suppose I deserve it. _

_ How are you, Lena? How are you doing? Are you smiling? Are you eating? Are you happy? Are you finally happy? You’re finally free of me, that’s for sure. I’m not going to make this long; I doubt you’d waste the little time you have reading this.  _

_ Happy 31st birthday! I hope your wish came true last year, and the one before that, and the one before that, and the one before that… and you get what I mean. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a present in person. The cake was from me, though, if Sam hasn’t told you already. I hope that’s enough. _

_ ehrosh :bem eh,Lena, _

_ I’m not sure how much longer I can keep sending these. So that’s hello. But that’s also goodbye. I’m waiting. _

She closes her eyes, fingers wiping the salty droplets that have landed on the screen. A choking sob that she’s suppressed too long explodes out of her, a guttural cry that rips Kara’s heart out.

Lena clutches the phone to her chest, like the little warmth radiating from it is enough to make up for the lack of warmth in her heart. Like it can make up for Kara, who was always so warm, both literally and figuratively.

“You have no idea how  _ broken _ I am,” she whispers wretchedly. She knows Kara can hear her. Or maybe she’s just being a narcissist again, pretending like she even crosses Kara’s thoughts.

She closes her eyes, but it does nothing to slow the river of tears that trickle downward.

When she opens them again, the clock reads five minutes before midnight.

Her heart breaks.

Lena knows it’s her fault, her problem for pushing her away, and then wanting her back. And she’s not sure how to fix the problem, so she let’s fate fix it. Fate, something Kara’s always been a firm believer in..

_ Why _ ? Lena had once asked her, not long after she had revealed herself as Supergirl.

_ Because it brought me here, _ Kara had replied seriously.  _ It brought me to you. Out of the infinite possibilities, out of all the times and planets and points in the universe, I landed here. At this time. And I met you. The odds are slim to none, Lee. One of trillions, quadrillions, more than we can count. I like to think the odds are in my favor. _

_ Really? _ Lena had just responded cryptically at the time, trying to do everything in her power to staunch the flow of warmth to her chest and cheeks.

She doesn’t let herself believe it until years after she’s last seen her.

Another wish gone. Wasted.

It’s three minutes before midnight.

Nothing.

Two.

One.

She’s never been a fan of countdowns, but her eyes intently follow the second hand of her analog clock until all three hands of the clock are aligned at the 12.

It’s not like she expects fireworks or someone to burst in singing. It’s not like she expects  _ anything _ .

So why does nothing hurt so bad?

There’s a tap at her door.

Her heart stops.

And starts again.

Lena waits.

The knock returns, a little more insistent.

Her heart skips a beat.

It’s  _ her _ .

It’s her knock, the nervous shuffling of feet as she patiently waits for the door to open.

Lena opens the door.

And when Kara steps through the door, she steps back into Lena’s life, back into Lena’s heart. Her house feels like home with Kara in it.

“Supergirl,” she says.

Hurt, deep agony, flashes across Kara’s face. “It’s just Kara,” she replies softly, shutting the door behind her.

“Kara,” she amends.

“Lena.”

She swallows, letting her eyes droop closed while she listens to Kara’s steady breathing. Why is this so easy yet so hard?

“Happy birthday.  _ :zeht gavrrigehd :jevia _ ”

The Kryptahniuo makes her heart ache.

It’s not Kara Danvers standing in front of her, nor Supergirl. 

It’s just…

Kara.

Kara Zor-El.

Kara Zor-El, citizen of Earth.

“I- I…” Lena’s breathing is ragged as she looks at the girl in front of her.

It’s the first time they’ve locked gazes in almost five years.

“You’re late,” is all she manages.

Kara eyes the clock. And then there’s a sudden flash and when she looks at it again, it’s 11:50 pm again.

There’s a ghost of a smile haunting her lips; it’s such a Kara thing to do, to turn back the time so her “happy birthday” is still valid. She flattens her lips into a thin line.

“I don’t hate you,” she blurts out. “I- I never have.”

Kara’s breath hitches. It is, by no means, an emotional statement, but…  _ her wish came true. _

“Really?”

“Is that really so hard to believe?” Lena whispers, guilt and pain churning in her stomach.

The Kryptonian shrugs, “Maybe.”

“I’m- I’m sorry, Kara. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s going to take more than an apology,” she says quietly, so quietly Lena has to strain to hear it over the sound of her own heartbeat.

“I know,” she wrings her hands. “I love you.”

“And a love declaration.”

“I mean it,” she says desperately. “I promise. I really do. I love you.  _.:zhaoodh khap w rrip _ , that’s how you say it, right?”

“ _ :zhao _ is romantic love,” Kara murmurs.

“I know.”

“Oh.”

“I’m so, so sorry. There’s never going to be an excuse for anything I did to you, and I understand if you don’t ever want to forgive me.”

Kara shudders as a sob rips from her throat, first taking small steps before stumbling forward, into Lena’s arms.

Even through layers of clothes, the touch is electrifying. It’s the first time they’ve touched in years, in almost half a decade.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you now,” Kara chokes out brokenly, voice muffled by sobs and Lena’s shoulder. “But maybe someday, you know?”

“Someday,” Lena agrees. “We- I have a lot of things I need to fix, darling.”

“Me too.” Kara rocks them both lightly, back and forth. “We have a lot of things we’re going to have to work on.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I love you, too.”

Lena closes her eyes and lets the hint of a smile widen into something that resembles  _ happiness _ , and if not that, then  _ contentment _ , at least.

Her wish comes true. Her first— second, actually— wish of the night that has come true. She allows herself the small smile.

She has a feeling there’ll be many more to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /:zeht gavrrigehd :jevia/ = Happy Birthday (differs from Nameday)
> 
>  **kryptonian phrase of the day!**  
>  /.kaorrivodh tagehdo :bem ;zov zhgamu tagehdo :bem w rraop bem/  
> hint: again, the prefix /kao-/ is an imperative marker. it marks the verb in an imperative sentence and does not alter the meaning.
> 
>  **answer for yesterday's:**  
>  /.kaopahskilodh zhehd w jolum/ = Prove them wrong.
> 
> /pahskilodh/= prove (literally: demonstrate/show) (/pahskil/= (able to) show/prove; /-odh/= present simple suffix)  
> /zhehd/= them (animate gender neutral third-person pronoun; also used for he, she, it, they, etc.)  
> /w/= object particle (precedes the object in a sentence to mark it)  
> /jolum/= wrong
> 
> feel free to take your guess in the comments... or not <3


	26. we're beautiful like diamonds in the sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 26: Diamond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...still a day behind, but it's 3 am and no way in hell am i starting desk afsljdkfjak... I'm going to be so tired tomorrow and i have to run a mile for time AND go to swim team... dead
> 
> also, hayley, if you're reading this, i'd really appreciate if you could stop grinding your teeth in your sleep because my ears are actually dying thank you very much
> 
> ...i stole this prompt/concept of tumblr but i can't remember where so uh yay
> 
> Chapter Title from Rihanna's "Diamonds."

The first time Lena proposes to Kara, it’s staged.

Actually, the first twenty or so times, it’s staged.

There’s a velvet ring box and a plastic ring involved.

Of course, the ring is made to  _ look _ real from a distance, but up close, it’s just a light, scratchy ring that resembles a snap loop keychain. It’s kind of ugly, if Lena has to be honest. 

The jewel, the fake diamond embedded in the center of the plastic outline also happens to be plastic.

Kara almost laughs the first time she sees the ring.

“Aww, no real diamond?”

They both know she can easily afford it, but Lena just throws Kara a pout, “How am I supposed to impress a girl who’s seen the stars up close with a diamond?”

Kara blinks at that, a ghost of a smile twitching on her lips.

Lena’s down on one knee, holding both of Kara’s hands in her own. She reaches into her back pocket, pulling out the very real ring box.

They make sure to wait until they’re in the line of sight of several waiters.

“What am I supposed to say?” Lena mutters to Kara, who has both hands clasped over her mouth, acting surprised and happy.

“It doesn’t matter,” the blonde giggles through her fingers. “No one can hear us. Just keep moving your lips.”

Lena does, mouthing something over and over again that looks suspiciously like “watermelon.”

“Why are you saying watermelon?”

“Because it makes it look like I’m talking! From a distance, at least. Actually, it’s supposed to be ‘watermelon cantaloupe’ or something. I looked it up on the Internet.”

Kara snorts in amusement, biting her lip to repress laughter, “Of course a watermelon can’t elope!” she quips, “It’s just a melon.”

Lena groans, “You are such a dork.”

“You love me. Uhhh, people are looking at us what do we do? Oh no, they’re coming closer!”

“Nod vigorously and pretend like you’re crying.”

She does as Lena says, grinning widely when the plastic ring is slipped onto her finger. What she’s not prepared for, though, is when Lena kisses her.

Kara almost jerks back until she realizes they’re just putting on a show for the watching people, and she kisses back hesitantly.

It’s their first kiss. And definitely not their last.

“Was that okay?” Lena breathes, sounding oddly breathless when she presses their foreheads together, eyes flickering to the clapping people.

“Y-yeah,” she manages. Her stomach flutters and she wonders if something’s wrong with the food.

As planned, they’re presented with free dessert. It’s just ice cream, but Kara grins triumphantly with the spoon in her mouth. “Told you it’d work!”

“You’re proposing next time,” Lena grumbles.

Kara does not propose the next time.

She’s handed the ring box, but she just gives Lena a pleading look, and that’s enough for the Luthor to huff and say, “Fine, I’ll do it.”

They head to a different restaurant in National City, something fancier. They actually make a little more effort, wearing something semi-formal as to not look out of place.

Kara is happily digging into her steak when she’s interrupted by a hissed, “Kara!” and she looks up to find her friend already on the floor on one knee.

There are gasps from the rest of the restaurant, and so Kara brings her hand to her face to cover her mouth in faux surprise, but mainly to hide her face.

Lena opens her mouth, then shuts it, chuckling, “We-” she glances over to the people watching, who are  _ definitely  _ in earshot.  _ Damn it. _ “I probably should’ve practiced this.”

“Keep going,” Kara urges.

“I- I- I…” She just wants to get up and flee the restaurant right then and there, but her friend’s encouraging look is enough to calm her down a little. She decides to go with the cliche romance novel. 

“I had an entire speech planned out,” Lena says with as much conviction as she can muster. “but I literally cannot remember any of it now. God, you’re beautiful.” She blushes when the words slip out of her mouth. Kara just looks absolutely delighted, giving her a nod of encouragement. “We- we haven’t been together that long, but I love you, and I’d give you the stars and the moon if I could, and I really hope that’s enough. Kara Danvers, will you marry me?”

“Yes!” she exclaims so loudly Lena flinches. “Yes, yes, a million times yes!” she repeats, softer, and drops down to kiss her once the ring is slid onto her finger. 

Their lips connect, and Kara almost pulls away instantly because Lena is shaking.  _ Is she crying? _ She breaks the kiss to find Lena shaking with silent laughter.

“What?” she hisses through a half-fake smile.

“That was the worst, most cliche proposal and answer I’ve ever seen,” Lena says, giggling.

***

“What was I supposed to say?” she grumbles playfully when they leave the restaurant after happily consuming a free slice of cheesecake.

“We should probably practice,” Lena suggests when they’re meeting for a lunch date one day.

“Practice?” Kara’s brows furrow.

“You know, the proposal stuff?”

“Oh, so we’re doing it again?”

“I mean, if you want.”

“Yes, yes, yes, we’re definitely doing this again! Thank you, Lee!”

“For what?”

“For agreeing to do this although you could probably buy me millions of scoops of ice cream with your money.”

She just smirks, “It’s more fun this way.”

***

They schedule a night where they can practice the proposal to make it look a little more realistic.

Oddly enough, when Kara opens the door of her loft, her stomach flutters again, that same feeling from when they kissed that first time. She pushes it away.

“Hey! Ready?”

Lena grins, “Of course. Do you want to, I dunno, write a script we can just use every time?”

“That would be easier,” Kara muses.

They set to work, penning some cheesy speech straight out of a romantic movie. It’s similar to the first one, but much longer, filled with metaphors and random inside jokes, just for the sake of making it seem legitimate.

“Hey, can we practice kissing?”

Lena’s head snaps up from where she’s hunched over the final note, mouthing the words to herself. “What?”

“I- I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I think we should practice the kiss after the proposal because it’s awkward.”

The dark-haired woman blinks, “Yeah, sure.”

“Really?”

Lena nods firmly, sliding off her chair. “Let’s do it now. Pretend like I just proposed.”

She drops so she’s on one knee, hands slowly snapping open the velvet box.

Kara’s stomach does the thing again, and she places a hand over it, wondering why she feels like she’s going to throw up.  _ That’s not possible. I’m an alien. _

She brushes it away as something insignificant, standing in front of Lena with a wide smile. The ring goes on her finger, but for some reason, her breath hitches when the ring is slowly pushed onto her finger.

It’s deathly silent in Kara’s loft, and anything she can hear through walls is drowned out by her own heartbeat.

Lena stands, hands slowly rising to cup Kara’s face softly. “Okay, so, put your hands around my waist- Good. Just like that.”

And with that, she leans forward, pressing their lips together experimentally.

It feels…  _ different _ .

Both the times before that had been quick and chaste, just a soft peck to please the audience.

Lena kisses her so softly she feels like her knees might give out.

“Kara, darling, you have to kiss back.”

She clears her throat, “Oh. Right.”

Their lips connect once more, and she sighs against her best friend’s mouth, letting the sensation just wash over her.

Lena pulls away first, a contemplative smile on her lips. “That was good. Needs some tongue, though. Definitely needs some.”

Kara flushes. “Y-yeah.”

“Okay, let's try that again.”

She lets herself melt into her friend’s touch, her heart jumping rapidly when they kiss again. Kara’s stomach is fluttering so had she genuinely feels like she’s going to throw up. Blood pounds in her ears, so loud she has to direct her focus completely to the sensation of Lena’s lips on hers to block it out.

It’s not hard.

She chokes back a whimper when Lena’s tongue glides along her lip, asking for permission. There’s no explanation as to why it feels so  _ good _ , why it feels so  _ new _ . She’s kissed people before.

Kara opens her mouth hesitantly, suddenly feeling like a complete beginner all over again. Lena’s mouth on hers draws out things she’s never felt before. 

Her chest burns.

Her tongue comes into contact with Lena’s and she’s unable to suppress the soft gasp that escapes her throat. Lena gives her hand a reassuring squeeze, lips still dancing gently and passionately as ever on hers.

They break apart, breathless.

Kara feels warm, much hotter than usual. She vaguely wonders if all the weird symptoms are her getting sick. Maybe it’s an alien virus.

“That wasn’t bad,” Lena praises, and Kara feels her chest swell with pride.  _ Since when did I care about Lena rating my kissing skills? _ “I think we got that down.”

“Yes. Right. Yeah, we definitely did,” Kara echoes, and she suddenly feels like a rock has dropped in her stomach.

Lena leaves with a hug, and the sound of the door clicking shut helps her identify the cold stone sitting heavily in her gut.

It’s disappointment.

***

They go out three days next week, heading to random diners and restaurants, faking the proposal perfectly well. 

Kara grins around a mouthful of vanilla ice cream, the white desert all over her chin and somehow, the tip of her nose.

Lena smiles, almost tenderly at her, and it makes something jolt in her chest.

“You have a little something…” 

She points to her face. “Me?”

“Yeah. I got it.” Lena’s thumb swipes across the tip of her nose first and then her chin.

Kara gulps. It’s a lot more intimate than she had expected.

“Thanks,” is all she can manage.

***

They begin to do it a lot more frequently. And each time, Kara feels the stone get heavier in the pit of her stomach.

_ Is this wrong? Is this morally wrong? Am I feeling guilty? _

It’s definitely not guilt, she decides when she’s happily scooping cake into her mouth.

The kisses start to become… different. A little more heated, a lot less cautious.

“Less tongue, more lips,” Lena instructs breathlessly when they pull apart from a particularly long impromptu make-out session.

“Got it,” she almost squeaks, her voice unnaturally high.

And then the twentieth, time, Kara just breaks.

She knows what’s going on; she’s just been denying it the whole time.

She hates how she sees Lena down on one knee in front of her, uttering those same words over and over again, but it feels just as exhilarating each time. She hates how she  _ wants  _ to see Lena do it again, do it for real, maybe.

She hates the way she needs to kiss Lena like she needs the yellow sunlight. Both give her the irreplaceable fuzzy and warm feeling that makes her want to burst. Kissing Lena is infinitely times better, though.

She hates the way her stomach does that flutter thing at the worst moments.  _ Butterflies _ , she realizes one day.  _ That’s what butterflies feel like. _ She hates how her heart pounds, hard and fast, almost drowning out the words Lena says.

Kara wants her to mean it. To mean the “I love you’s” and the “Will you marry me’s” and the “You’re beautiful’s.” To get down on one knee with the intent of truly wanting to marry Kara. She wants Lena to kiss her, not because they’re faking proposals for free dessert, but because she wants to, because she loves her.

When Lena pulls away, Kara’s lips chase hers. Her mouth, hot and wet works insistently on Lena’s, and her heart feels like it’s going to burst with how fast and hard it’s thumping, and she just keeps kissing Lena, lets her tongue dance with Lena’s like it’s the last time.

Lena has to wrench herself away to get Kara to stop. “Kara,” she whispers. squeezing her fingers.

She swallows, looking anywhere but Lena.

She’s ruined it. It’s probably the last time.

“I, uh, I need to go use the bathroom. I’ll be back.”

She sits in the toilet stall, furiously wiping stray tears from her eyes.

***

Kara just wants to tell Lena she can’t do it anymore. That she wants it too bad to be real, and it’s not fair to Lena to do that for her. She takes a deep breath.

“Lena, I-”

“Kara, can we do it one more time?”

She blinks. “What?”

“Get free dessert, one more time. I know a place. Come on.”

She doesn’t argue, just numbly follows her out the door after they put on dresses.

Lena looks  _ nervous _ when they arrive, her hands wringing, feet shuffling. A waiter walks waves them over and leads them up a staircase.

“Lena? Where are we going?”

“Shh.”

Kara steps through the door the man is holding open, and there’s the open sky.

There’s no one else there.

“Lena? How are we supposed to…” she trails off, seeing her friend’s anxious expression.

“Just trust me, okay?” She says it with such tenderness, Kara feels herself melt. Only Lena Luthor can bend the Girl of Steel.

“Okay.”

They sit at an empty table near the edge of the roof, looking down over National City.

Lena swallows multiple times, tucking her hair behind her ear often, barely touching her food when it arrives.

“Lee? What’s wrong?”

The woman gives her a small smile, “Nothing, darling. Nothing is wrong.” She sets her fork down, slipping out of her chair so that she’s lowered on one knee.

“Lena, there’s no one here.”

“I know,” she breathes. “Trust me, okay?”

Kara nods, swallowing the lump that seems to have lodged itself in her throat.

Lena pulls out the velvet ring box, the exact same one they’ve been using the past few months.

“Kara Zor-El Danvers.”

Kara writes off Lena’s using her full name as  _ there’s nobody here. Of course she is going to use the Zor-El. But… why is she proposing if no one else is here? _

And then she goes off-script. Completely.

“I told you that first time that I couldn’t be bothered to get a real diamond. Not when the girl I’m proposing to is someone who has seen the stars, seen the galaxies up close. How could I compare to that? But I think that it’s the thought that counts.”

Lena’s next breath is shaky, and then she pulls open the box.

It’s a real ring. With a real diamond, glittering in the starlight.

“Lena-”

“Shhh, don’t talk. Let me finish, Kara, please.”

She closes her mouth, her heart racing, stomach twisting.

“I don’t know if there’s any way to say what I want to say without scaring you away, so I’m just going to say it bluntly. I love you, Kara. And yes, the first twenty times were scripted, were all fake, but I mean it. I meant all of those, but right now, I definitely mean it. I’m saying it not because it’s part of the script, but because I love you. I really do.

“I- I’m in love with you, Kara. Completely, head-over-heels, like a lovesick teenager. I never imagined it would be you, darling, but I can’t help but look into those beautiful eyes of yours and think that you’re the one. I know, I know, I sound crazy but hear me out. I can’t do this anymore. This friends thing. This fake-proposing-for-free-dessert thing. It’s killing me, Kar.

“I want to kiss you for real. I want to get down on one knee and propose to you after I become your girlfriend. I want to hold you and kiss you and  _ mean it _ and see your genuine reaction when I put that ring on your finger.

“And even if you never love me back, I want you to have this ring. It’s a real diamond, yes. And maybe it’ll never go on the fourth finger of your left hand like it’s intended to, but I need you to have it. It’s a stupid proposal, I know, but it’s a promise. Kind of a promise ring, I guess. It’s my promise that I’ll always love you, even if you, I don’t know, hate me for this, even if you hate me for ruining our friendship.”

Lena’s crying. Somewhere in the middle, she breaks off into tears, only to continue with a shaky voice. Tears streak down her cheeks and her green eyes beg Kara to say something, to  _ do something. _

It’s just like the second time when she falls to her knees and kisses Lena like nothing else matters. It’s just them and the diamond and maybe the stars.

Lena’s breath audibly hitches where their lips touch, and Kara allows herself an unrestrained whimper. They’re kissing and it’s like the stars are dancing behind their eyelids and they’re kissing and it’s not like the world tilts off its axis, it’s like the world finally snaps back into its regular orbit.

“I love you, I love you, I love you, too, Lena Kieran Luthor,” she mumbles against her lips, craning her neck farther back to kiss her harder, deeper, to get closer although they’re the closest they can be.

Kara is crying, too, and it’s the force of the happy sob that explodes from her chest that forces them to break apart. 

Lena sniffles. “It’s far too early to be proposing considering we haven’t dated, but I think I want to marry you, someday Kara. I want to spend my life with you. I- I want you to be my girlfriend. Please?”

“You didn’t even have to ask,” Kara whispers, her voice breaking when the diamond ring is slowly slid onto her finger.

They’re already kissing again, eyes closed and eyelashes heavy with tears.

Above them, the stars glitter like the most resilient of gems, like diamonds.

And the stars, they’re literal promises of a future, a future where they’ll be together, where they’ll be  _ forever _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for anyone who's wondering, the thing i said about how stars are literal promises of a future? i mean that most stars are light-years away from earth, meaning the light takes a while to travel. by the time it reaches us, by the time we see it, we're looking into the past. we look into the sky every day and night, and we're looking back in time... 
> 
> **kryptonian phrase of the day!**  
>  /.fahroodh kryp .zhakypzrhigodh kryp .jolumodh kryp ;zuhne izah, ehswitodh kryp .nahzhgehn lizrhom :bem kryp .rrofishodh kryp/  
> hint: soooo... this one's hard. but if you search up "short inspirational quotes" and go to images, you might actually find the original quote haha  
> hint 2: like half the words are synonyms/rearranged/completely different words because the dictionary is seriously lacking
> 
> ...i doubt the majority of you are even bothering to read this xD
> 
>  **answer for yesterday's:**  
>  /.kaorrivodh tagehdo :bem ;zov zhgamu tagehdo :bem w rraop bem/ = do good and good will come to you (actual quote)  
> literally: do good things and good things will come to you
> 
> /kaorrivodh/= do (/kao/= imperative marker, doesn't affect meaning, /rriv/= (able to) do, /-odh/= present simple suffix)  
> /:bem/= good  
> /tagehdo/ = things (/tagehd/= something, /-o/= plural suffix)  
> /;zov/= and (coordinating conjunction)  
> /:bem/= good  
> /tagehdo/= things  
> /zhgamu/ = will come (/zhgam/= (able to) come, /-u/= future simple suffix)  
> /bem/ = to (note: /:bem/ means good, and /bem/ without the nasalization means to, the conceptual postposition (prepstion, essentially))  
> /rraop/= you (gender neutral)


	27. oh, it's you, you're the one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 27: Desk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for this chapterrrr
> 
> it's 3 am and I'm delirious with exhaustion
> 
> yay me

Kara and Lena meet for the first time when Kara crashes through the window of her office, shattering her window and her desk on impact.

She barely manages to twist herself to avoid slamming straight into the CEO’s head, and her Kara manages to snatch the falling laptop out of thin air, thanks to her inhuman reflexes. She hits the floor, and the impact drives the air from her lungs.

It takes her a second to recover before she scrambles to her feet, setting down the expensive piece of technology. It takes her another second to realize she’s crashed into  _ Lena Luthor’s _ office. The poor woman’s desk is broken beyond repair, slumping to the floor in pieces.

“Oh gosh! I’m sorry!” Her eyes widen in dismay when she sees the damage. “I got thrown through the window and-” Supergirl’s ears twitch, and then in a flash, she’s in front of the Luthor, shielding her from a badly aimed kryptonite blast that has her gritting her teeth to suppress a scream of agony. Her arm trembles with the effort to keep her heavy cape up.

The radiation seeps into her blood immediately, her veins glowing a sickly green as she does her best to hold it back, to keep it from reaching the terrified woman on the floor.

“Supergirl,” she breathes, and Kara looks at Lena,  _ really _ looks at Lena. She almost falters ( _ Rao, she’s pretty _ ), but pale green eyes urge her on, even if they’re filled with terror.

Their eyes lock. Maybe for a second too long, but she feels an unexplained reassurance, a warmth in her chest.

She clenches her jaw, whirling around to intercept the glowing green beam aimed at her.

Supergirl’s already weak; being in the mere presence of kryptonite can almost bring her to her knees. And now there’s a man, or more of an experiment, with a kryptonite heart and strength that rivals hers.

Her heat vision gives out, and she’s thrown across the room when the beam strikes her solidly in the chest.

“Supergirl!” She hears Lena shriek.

“Miss Luthor, get out of here,” she struggles to her feet.

“You’re going to  _ die _ ! That’s kryptonite, if you haven’t noticed.”

_ Of course she would know _ . “I know,” she grunts to gritted teeth, a wave of nausea forcing her to her knees. The grin on the man’s face is sickening, triumphant, and he looms over her, the green heart pulsing with an eerie glow.

The man thrusts out his chest and a strangled scream of agony is ripped from her throat, and all she can do is paw at her earpiece. “Alex. Help. Please. Backup.”

“Kara?”

“Hurry,” she gasps, just as she registers Lena charging forward, holding something.

“Miss Luthor!” she croaks, eyes widening in horror when Metallo lifts her by the throat, eyeing her with distaste. “No!”

The last thing she registers is that the excruciating pain is ebbing and the man lays on the floor, lifeless. Fingerprint marks are prominent on Lena’s throat as she gasps for breath, clutching the kryptonite heart in one hand.

“What?” she mumbles in confusion. Lena shouldn’t have been able to stop the kryptonite from hurting her.

“Lead foil,” she explains just as Kara passes out.

***

J’onn and a DEO strike time burst in only to find a kryptonite heart at their feet. Lena Luthor hovers above Supergirl, fingers checking for a pulse in the unconscious superhero.

“It wasn’t me,” she explains, a little panicked when guns are aimed at her. She stands up, raising both of her hands. “It was him. He had a kryptonite heart and was blasting her with it. She’s alive.”

J’onn nods, waving at the agents to lower their weapons. They comply, albeit reluctantly, eyeing her warily.

She just sighs, rubbing her sore throat with one hand. Of course they would suspect her. She’s a Luthor.

“We need to get Supergirl back to HQ. Miss Luthor, are you okay?”

She dips her head once, “A little shaken, but I’m fine. Throat’s a little sore.”

The Martian nods, “Maybe you should see a doctor. I can take you to a hospital if you’d like.”

“No, thank you,” she replies politely, flickering to the red and blue figure on the floor. “Get Supergirl back to wherever it is she needs to be.”

The DEO agents and J’onn leave, the Martian flying Supergirl in his arms.

Lena sighs once more, looking at the mess her office is.

“Time to clean up,” she mutters to no one in particular.

***

Two weeks later, Kara has long been back at full strength, the kryptonite poisoning having faded after 24 hours. She bounces along with Clark as they make their way back to Lena Luthor’s office. She’s just shadowing her cousin as he interviews her.

It’s been nice having Kal back.

The receptionist, a young lady named Jess nods at them the moment they step in. Of course she would recognize Clark Kent, Kara realizes with a little awe. 

It worries her a bit, too. Both Kal’s identities are famous, and she vaguely wonders how Superman’s secret identity remains secret.

Jess leads them to the highest floor and into the office.

It looks mostly the same as it did before, before Supergirl crashed through the window and broke the desk. The desk is new, and the windows are intact.

She doesn’t even look at Kara for the first several minutes, and for some weird reason, she finds herself chiming in.

“And Supergirl was there, too,” she butts in, and then  _ finally _ , Lena turns her gaze on Kara, their eyes meeting.

Lena doesn’t react the way she expects her to. Instead, she just gasps, takes a step back.

“Miss Luthor?” she asks hesitantly.

“You’re _her_.”

Her heart skips a beat. “What?”

The CEO clamps her mouth shut, looking over at Clark, who is glaring at Kara.

“I didn’t say anything,” she hisses at the reporter as if Lena’s not standing five feet away. 

“What do you mean?” Clark feigns confusion, but it’s too late.

Lena glances back and forth between them. “You’re Supergirl, aren’t you?”

Clark tries again, “Mis Luthor, I think you-”

“No,” she whispers, taking a step forward. “I’d recognize those eyes anywhere.”

Lena peers into Kara’s eyes, and it feels like she’s looking right through her, right into her. Her eyes are neutral, but soft, a soft green that reminds Kara of kryptonite. It seems to do the same thing, though because, embarrassingly enough, her knees weaken.

She remembers back to two weeks ago, when Supergirl had turned around, shielding Lena with her cape. She had looked into her eyes then.

The brilliant, oceanic blue is quite unforgettable.

Clark tenses. And then tries again, “Miss Luthor, you must be mistaken. This is Kara Danvers.”

Lena is silent for a bit, unmoving, but her gaze eventually slides over to Clark. “And you’re Superman.”

Kara urges her mouth to say something instead of standing there like a speechless idiot, “I- I, uh, we’re not-”

“I’m not a fool,” she says softly. It almost sounds sad… and a lot more vulnerable than Lena intended it to be.

The blonde just slumps, looking helplessly at her cousin.

He looks just as bewildered, fingers twitching on his notepad.

Lena gives them both a little smile, sitting down in her chair. “Well, we have more important matters to discuss, I presume. What did you want to ask me?”

Kara zones out for the rest of the interview, far too focused on the small movements of Lena’s lips, her slight underbite, the unmistakable Irish accent, just the quiet tenor of her voice.

The interview is over far too fast, and Clark walks out the door with a promise that he’ll be back with an NDA. Kara just clears her throat awkwardly and shuffles after him.

“Miss Danvers, wait!”

She turns around. Her heart’s already pounding.

Lena is silent for a moment. Kara can hear Clark’s heartbeat as he waits outside, clearly eavesdropping.

“Miss Luthor?”

The young CEO shakes herself, blinking several times. “Right. I, uh, thank you.”

Kara’s brows furrow. “For what?”

“For kind of saving me that day. You could’ve died, you know. It was a lot of kryptonite.”

She shrugs, “The people always come first.”

“You’re a person, too, Miss Danvers.”

“Kara.”

“Kara,” she murmurs as if testing out the name on her tongue.

Kara’s breathing turns ragged at the sound of her own name coming from Lena’s mouth.

“I really appreciate it, Supergirl. Kara, whatever. Just… thank you.”

The dark-haired woman looks uncharacteristically flustered, almost as flustered as Kara feels right now, and so she gives her a shy smile.

She shrugs. “Of course. But it’s my job, Miss Luthor.”

“If I’m calling you Kara…”

A smile twitches at her lips as her heart does a weird dance in her chest, “Lena it is.”

“I highly doubt it’s in your job description to jump in the path of kryptonite. It’s literally the one thing that can hurt you.”

Kara shrugs, “I’m aware. It’s just what I do. Saving people.”

“Kara,” Clark whispers under his breath, an impatient huff that’s also half a warning. Only her superpowered ears pick it up, and so she sighs.

“I’m glad National City has a hero like you, then.”

Her chest swells with pride. “Thank you, M- Lena. I should get going now, especially since, well, uh, yeah.”

Lena chuckles and the sound is so randomly  _ adorable _ Kara finds herself staring again. “I’m not going to keep you here. I’ll see you around,  _ Supergirl _ .”

She nods, splaying her fingers in an awkward wave before dashing out.

“Kara,” Clark groans. “What was that?”

She frowns, bouncing as they cross the street, energy buzzing through her. “What do you mean?”

“You  _ know _ what I mean. She’s a Luthor. You can’t-”

“She’s not her brother, Kal. Maybe you should give her a chance.”

“-like her,” he finishes.

“What? No, no, I don’t like her?”

The reporter waits.

Kara seems to be lost in thought, eyes a little distant as they cross the street. She almost runs into a pole, and that’s when she snaps out of her little thought bubble, face slowly coloring crimson.

“Oh  _ Rao _ , I think I like her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **kryptonian phrase of the day!**  
>  /.nahn otem w raogrhys nahnes im khie/  
> hint: i think this is great advice for s3 kara... at least in the beginning :)
> 
>  **answer for yesterday's:**  
>  /.fahroshodh kryp .zhakypzrhigodh kryp .jolumodh kryp ;zuhne izah, ehswitodh kryp .nahzhgehnodh lizrhom :bem kryp .rrofishodh kryp/ = we fall. we break. we fail. but then, we rise. we heal. we overcome.  
> literally: we fall. we un-create. we go wrong/mistake. but then, we awaken. we get better. we rise/ascend [above].
> 
> /kryp/= we  
> /fahroshodh/= fall (/fahrosh/= (able to) fall, /-odh/= present simple verb suffix)  
> /kryp/= we  
> /zhakypzrhigodh/= break (/zha-/= negator, /kypzrhigodh/ = create)  
> /kryp/= we  
> /jolumodh/= fail (not really... more accurately, go wrong... /jolum/= wrong  
> /;zuhne/= but  
> /izah/= then  
> /kryp/= we  
> /ehswitodh/= awaken  
> /kryp/= we  
> /nahzhgehnodh/= become  
> /lizhrom/= more  
> /:bem/= good  
> /rrofishodh/= rise [above]
> 
> this quote was a terrible choice considering half the words don't actually exist in the dictionary, so i had to improvise. but i like a challenge so :3


	28. tale as old as time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 28: Book

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the word book appears like twice and one is not even in english
> 
> but it's 3 am because i spent a little more time and effort than usual with the insane amounts of kryptonese. i was watching a youtube video on things bilingual people do, and as a person who speaks canto nowhere near fluently, chinglish is sometimes my preferred language and i just wanted to integrate that in here :)) i sidetracked uhhhh what was i gonna say??? oh right, I'm not editing this because I'm exhausted as hecc and still behind so STRESS
> 
> anyway, this is super kryptahniuo-heavy, so i suggest checking the end notes for translations if you want to know what's going on haha
> 
> enjoy this trashhhhhhh
> 
> p.s. i used up every single character in the end notes  
> p.p.s. that's why I'm saying this here where i have 4.2k characters left
> 
> Chapter Title from "Beauty and the Beast" from the movie of the same name (but I hear the Ariana Grande/John Legend version).

“ _tamolir rraop w fehl zil?_ ” Lori mumbles sleepily, jaws parting in a huge yawn as soon as the words leave her mouth. The toddler wiggles under her blanket until it’s comfortably covering her from her chest to her toes.

“Of course, babygirl,” Lena murmurs, reaching under the covers to grab her daughter’s tiny hand. “ _tarrehd_ _fardhogh?”_

Lori takes a while to contemplate; she’s silent for so long Lena thinks she’s asleep. “The- the one with the _bethgr kir_.”

“Lori, baby, that’s a lot of them.”

“Uhm… the one where- where the, uh… Cinderella!”

“Again?”

“Ya!”

“Okay.” Lena uses her free hand to pull the small children’s book from the shelf. She could probably recite it from memory with how many times she has read it, but she could probably do with a little Kryptahniuo practice.

She flips the book open with one hand, smiling tenderly at Lori, who just squirms happily as her mother begins. “Once upon a time, there was a _bythgr kir_ and _zhehd i threv_ , her name was Cinderella…”

She reads the words slowly, translating as many of them as she can to Kryptonian. Lori’s lips twitch a little when she does so. Her eyes flutter closed at some point, and Lena stops, but a soft squeeze in her fingers tells her that Lori is still awake.

Lori lets out sleepy murmurs of approval and acknowledgment as the story goes on, sometimes opening her eyes for a second, looking lost in thought and far too ponderous for an almost-five-year-old.

“. _chao :zhehiodiahzh zhehd, :jevia uldif tim_ ,” Lena finishes with a yawn of her own, setting down the book. Lori’s eyes are closed, so she extracts her fingers from her daughter’s sweaty hand.

“Mommy?”

“ _zhi, inah,te?”_

“ _tarraos nahn w gehd zhindif bethgr kir chao bothgr kir? tazharraos tav w bethgro kir, vahdhah rraop chao ieiu?_ ”

Her heart melts, and she instinctively leans forward to press a small kiss to Lori’s forehead. “. _zharaozhodh khuhp, :zrhueiao,te .zharaozhodh”_

“ _.rrisi zhehd w gehd_ ”

“Yeah,” Lena agrees, threading her fingers gently through Lori’s dark hair, impossibly soft in her fingers. “I love you, baby.”

“ _.ukiemodh vahdhah w rraop eh,_ _mahmi_ ,” the young girl yawns again, half-lidded gaze flickering to a point beyond Lena. “ _ghao w rraop eh,ieiu, .ukiemodh vahdhah w rraop”_

Lena turns her head, lips tugging into a smile when she sees her wife standing there, hair tousled, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders like a makeshift cape. Without her glasses, she just looks like an adorable, sleepy, domestic Supergirl, and the sight makes her chuckle lightly.

“ _.ukiemodh w rraop, iskah,_ ” Kara murmurs, giving her daughter a small wave. “What’s funny?” she mutters, turning to Lena and rubbing her eyes.

“Nothing, darling. You’re adorable.”

She pouts.

“C’mere,” Lena reaches out a hand to her wife, who just falls into her embrace. She plants a tiny kiss on Kara’s lips, watching in adoration as her eyes flutter closed for a second. “Why’d you get out of bed?”

“. _non gehd zhizhaf zhavot w rraop,”_ she grumbles.

“You don’t get cold, darling.”

“Fine. I missed you. And you’re warm and _satogh khuhp w rraotiv_ cuddles. .” _ghao rraotov izaho_

Lena smiles, nuzzling Kara’s nose with her own, arms wrapped securely around her midsection. “I’ll come back to bed as soon as Lori goes to sleep.”

“. _izah zha-awuhkhes khuhp”_

“Okay.”

“By the way, your _Kryptahniuo_ is getting better, Lee.”

“. _nahn iovis w :bem,_ ” she grins.

“It is,” Kara agrees.

Lori just watches them with sleep eyes, just barely awake; only the soft words passed between her parents keep her conscious.

“Lori, it’s time to sleep, okay, _is,te_?”

She nods, eyes slowly fluttering closed. “ _.zil :bem eh,ieiu,_ ” she mumbles, words slurred from tiredness. “. _skiloru khuhp w rraop timzeht”_

“Goodnight, Lori,” Kara brushes a small strand of hair from their daughter’s face. “ _.skiloru khuhp w rraop tiv :zeht vah”_

“. _zil :bem_ . _zhindehdo khie,Lori,kah_ ,” Lena whispers to the toddler, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

They stay there for a moment, wrapped in a loose embrace as they watch their young daughter fall asleep, her breaths lengthening as time passes. When she starts snoring softly, Lena and Kara silently step out.

Well, Kara lifts them both an inch off the ground for the sake of staying quiet, and they float back to their bedroom.

“Lori’s growing so fast,” Lena breathes once they're comfortable in their bed. “She’s smart, too.”

“Takes after you, Lee,” Kara tucks her head in her wife’s chest, slinging a lazy arm over her hip.

She snorts, “Stop pretending you’re not just as smart.”

“I’m not,” she pouts. “You know, like, _tagehduju”_

“And so do you, darling. You know _tiv ehl riz, tiv ehlo, lorakho, tagehduju im tiv ehsh…”_

“That’s ‘cause I’m from there.”

“Mhm. Literally fell right from the sky. Like an angel. Or a meteoroid crashing to earth. Or a _ehl fahroshia_ . Funny thing is, you’re literally of the _ehlo_ . You are the _inah ewuhshehd nahv tiv zrhythrev ,ehl,_ The House of El, The House of… Star.”

“Ohmygosh.” Kara lifts her head, eyes suddenly flooding with tears.

“What is it, darling?”

“The _zrhythrev ,ehl,_ means House of Stars. Or sun. The House of the Sun. I- I didn’t realize. I thought El was just a surname. Oh, _wow_.”

“Your family didn’t tell you?”

She shrugs, chuckling as a tear rolls down her cheeks, “I must’ve forgotten.”

Lena drops a kiss on Kara’s hairline, stroking her cheek soothingly with a thumb. “It’s fitting, really. Stars symbolize a divine force, something beyond the laws of science and nature. Your parents put you in that pod all those years ago and sent you to Earth, but you landed at the perfect time. You were at the perfect place in the perfect time, and that’s how we met. I mean, there’s gotta be something there. Insane luck, maybe. Fate. God, or Rao, or some deity.”

“Quantum entanglement,” Kara murmurs with a cheeky smile.

Lena chuckles, “Soulmates…”

“I believe that, Lee. I really.”

“Mhm,” Lena tips Kara’s chin up to give her a lingering kiss on the lips, “Me too, darling. I love you, _khuhtiv :zhao_ ”

They’re silent for so long Lena assumes Kara’s asleep and is on the border of unconsciousness when a soft voice drifts into her ears.

“ _.zhaoodh khap w rrip, khuhtiv :zrhueiao”_

* * *

* * *

before i drop the translations, i just want to say that my kryptahniuo is VERY inconsistent. I'm always learning and correcting and discovering, and so the style and the structure of the kryptonese changes. mostly, it's getting better and more accurate, though. maybe I'll go back and edit the more kryptahniuo-heavy chapters to check if anything is wrong.

I'm actually kinda proud of myself :) a lot of the kryptonese in this chapter was written almost as fast as the English, without needing to hunt kryptonian.info for too much help... i even tried not to use the dictionary when i could. so for anyone who wants to learn doyle kryptonian... writing fanfiction in it helps? on that note, i think I'm going to try to write a short story completely in kryptonese... with an English translation, of course :)

there's actually one thing I'm completely certain is wrong: verb suffixes. they don't quite translate directly to English, so it's a lot of weird scrambling and context. what I'm doing right now is essentially directly translating from English, taking it literally when it calls for the present progressive suffix and such. if someone knows how this words, please teach me?

putting this here because i literally ran out of characters in my end notes

are y'all tired of me yet? xD

...i just freaked out and thought my notes didn't save because ao3 wouldn't let me post the chapter since i exceeded the character limit...

4 TRIES LATER AND IT STILL WON'T LET ME POST IT HELP

it's 4 am :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **kryptonese translations:** (I'm too tired right now to explain individual words; if you want me to, comment and I'll happily do so)
> 
>  _/tamolir rraop w fehl zil?/_ = can you read a bedtime story?  
> literally: are you able to read a nighttime story?
> 
>  _/tarrehd fardhogh?/_ = what book?
> 
>  _/bethgr kir/_ = princess  
> literally: little queen  
> *you may notice i use /bythgr kir/ in the next phrase because it's the gender neutral term, which is supposed to be used. in places like this, where clarification is needed, the gendered word will be used first, and the following will revert back to its proper form
> 
>  _/zhehd i threv/_ = her name
> 
>  _/.chao :zhehiodiahzh zhehd, :jevia uldif tim/_ = and they lived happily ever after
> 
>  _/zhi, inah,te?/_ = yes, my daughter?
> 
>  _/tarraos nahn w gehd zhindif bethgr kir chao bothgr kir? tazharraos tav w bethgro kir, vahdhah rraop chao ieiu?/_ = why is it always a princess and a prince? why not two princesses, like you and mom [Kara]?  
> (lori speaks all kryptahniuo here because it's crucial she learns to differentiate between languages. also, because she's tired and our sleepy baby reverts to her first language)
> 
>  _/.zharaozhodh khuhp, :zrhueiao,te .zharaozhodh/_ = i don't know, my beautiful. i don't know.
> 
>  _/.rrisi zhehd w gehd/_ = they should do it  
> note: /rrisi/ is /rriv/, meaning "do" and the subjunctive suffix /-si/ combined
> 
>  _/.ukiemodh vahdhah w rraop eh,mahmi,/_ = i love you too, mommy  
> (i shouldn't even have to translate this one xD)
> 
>  _/ghao w rraop eh,ieiu, .ukiemodh vahdhah w rraop/_ = and you, mom. i love you too.  
> (young kara in 3x06 (midvale) literally goes "ukiem rrip, ieiu" (but with terrible pronunciation, no offense) so y'all should know considering it was subtitled. with the exception of /vahdhah/, of course)
> 
>  _/.ukiemodh w rraop, iskah/_ = love you, our baby  
> note: I'm using /iskah/ as a term of endearment, literally translating to "our [female] baby," but that sounds weird... so just know it means something along the lines of "little one"
> 
>  _/non gehd zhizhaf zhavot w rraop/_ = it was cold without you  
> literally: it was cold not with you  
> edit: /nahnes/ to /non/ because it's a type 2 verb
> 
>  _/satogh khuhp w rraotiv_ cuddles. _.ghao rraotov izaho/_ = i like your cuddles. and your kisses.  
> this is what i mean when i say chinglish... merging two languages (kryptalish? kryplish? enghaniuo?) but with kryptahniuo, rather than chinese
> 
>  _/.izah zha-awuhkhes khuhp/_ = then I'm staying  
> literally: then I'm not leaving
> 
>  _/.nahn iovis w :bem/_ = that's good
> 
>  _/is,te/_ = my [female] baby  
> (in contrast to /iskah/ meaning OUR baby... i put a comma there because it looks nice... and i think there might be one? idk i might throw one in /iskah/ if i feel like it)
> 
>  _/.zil :bem eh,ieiu,/_ = good night, mom  
> note: /zil/ actually means nighttime but eh whatever
> 
>  _/.skiloru khuhp w rraop timzeht/_ = I'll see you tomorrow
> 
>  _/.skiloru khuhp w rraop tiv :zeht vah/_ = see you in the morning
> 
>  _/.zil :bem .zhindehdo khie,Lori,kah,/_ = goodnight. sweet dreams  
> literally: goodnight. soft dreams.
> 
>  _/tagehduju/_ = everything  
> literally: all something (or all things but /tagehd/ means something afklsjd)
> 
>  _/tiv ehl riz, tiv ehlo, lorakho, tagehduju im tiv ehsh…/_ = the sun, the stars, moons, everything about the sky  
> literally: the yellow star...
> 
>  _/ehl fahroshia/_ = shooting star  
> literally: falling star
> 
>  _/ehlo/_ = stars
> 
>  _/inah ewuhshehd nahv tiv zrhythrev ,ehl,/_ = last daughter of the House of El
> 
>  _/khuhtiv :zhao/_ = my love  
> *inconsistency
> 
>  _/.zhaoodh khap w rrip, khuhtiv :zrhueiao/_ = i love you, my beautiful
> 
> ahahahaha i literally ran out of characters and had to move the paragraphs of notes to the actual work text... sorry bout that. i apologize for these incredibly long notes and extensive translations... 
> 
> **kryptonian phrase of the day!**  
>  (it's 4 am dammit)
> 
>  _/.rrem nahn gehd w :dol, skilorodh .pahskiles ehrosh w rraop ni tagehd/_  
>  hint: /skilorodh/ means see, but in this case, I'm using it as "observe"
> 
>   
> **answer for yesterday's!**
> 
> /.nahn otem w raogrhys nahnes im khie/= there is bravery in being soft.  
> literally: there is strength in being soft
> 
>   
> is my try-hard-ness cringey lmao... I'll stop if enough people tell me to
> 
> have a good day and don't be like me, writing so much dialogue in kryptonese it takes an hour to translate and uses up all the characters in the end notes and is also longer than the chapter itself... i think I'm insane
> 
> literally have 0 characters left


	29. home to the place i belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 29: Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hooray i failed
> 
> it's 11 pm of october 31 and i'm posting the chapter i should've 2 days ago lmao
> 
> bleh
> 
> so exhausted :(
> 
> 4 am writing is really draining
> 
> also waking up at 6 am for a swim meet i was guaranteed to bomb :(
> 
> a friendly reminder i don't edit these because i have no energy or time
> 
> 70k words really drained me damn
> 
> Chapter Title from John Denver's "Take Me Home, Country Roads."

“Kara,” Alex approaches her sister, looking a little nervous. “Mom’s going to be in town for Thanksgiving.”

She looks around, fingers tracing the lines on her super suit. “Why are you telling me at work?”

The older Danvers looks around before saying quietly, “I want to bring Maggie to dinner next week. Like, like not Thanksgiving with all the Superfriends. Just like… dinner.”

Kara blinks, “That’s great! What about it though?”

Alex just shrugs, “I want Mom to meet Maggie.”

“I’m sure Eliza will love her!”

“Are you sure?” Alex gnaws on her lip anxiously, and Kara’s brows stitch together.  _ Why’s Alex so nervous to have Eliza meet Maggie? _ She finds her sister’s nervousness unsettling; Alex typically isn’t one to be as tense as she is now.

“Yes! I’ll bring Lena if it makes you more comfortable.”

It’s Alex’s turn to furrow her brows, “Lena?”

“Yeah! I mean, if you’re bringing Maggie.”

“Wait. Why are you... Are you two d-”

“Supergirl!” Winn shouts from his place at the computer, “Armed robbery at the West National City Bank!”

“Got it!” she calls back, already striding towards the balcony, “See ya, Alex!”

Alex just stares after her with a puzzled look, still for a moment before she shakes herself and walks away.

***

_ Kara, are you dating Lena? _

“Kara, darling, why do you look so horrified?” Lena sits down slowly beside her, peering over her shoulder.

She shows Lena the text with a sigh, “Alex just asked if we’re dating. I’m sorry, Lee. I know you wanted to keep it private for a bit.”

“It’s fine, darling,” Lena laughs, kissing her temple softly as she slings an arm around her shoulders. “But how does she know? We’ve been pretty careful with PDA.”

“Maybe we’re not that discreet?” she mumbles, dropping her head onto her girlfriend’s shoulder.

The dark-haired woman nudges Kara, “Ask her.”

_ What???  _ she sends,  _ Why do you think we’re dating??? _

She shifts impatiently when the three dot bubbles appear, slowly blinking as Alex slowly taps back a reply.

“Patience, darling,” Lena chuckles, amused when Kara just groans, smacking the phone. “Not everyone can type using superspeed.”

“Bleh.”

The text does come through eventually.

_ I said I was going to bring Maggie and then you said you’d bring Lena…  _

“What does she mean by that?” Lena squints at the text.

“Oh, uhm,” Kara flushes guiltily, “I told Alex I’d bring you to have dinner with Eliza because she was acting nervous about bringing her friend Maggie. I thought it’d make her feel better about inviting someone.”

“Kara.” Lena closes her eyes, shaking as she laughs silently. “Alex and Maggie are dating. Of course she would assume we are dating.”

“They’re dating?!”

Lena sighs exasperatedly, although affectionately. “You’re so oblivious. Of course they’re dating. Do you see Alex hugging anyone else?”

“She hugs me!”

“You’re her sister.”

“...No.”

“Exactly.”

“Oh.”

“That or she and Maggie are pining after each other and are completely oblivious like we were. But I doubt that. Why else would she be nervous about bringing Maggie to meet her mother?”

“Good point,” she mumbles. “But I said I would bring you, so…”

Lena hesitates. “I’ll do it if you want me to…”

“I don’t want to force you if you don’t want to. It’s just that you’ve never even met Eliza, even in when we were friends, and I’ve met your mom…”

She snorts, “I hardly think fighting her is the equivalent of meeting my mom for dinner or something.”

“Also, she kidnapped me,” Kara chirps.

“She  _ what _ ?” Lena looks horrified.

“You didn’t know? How else do you think she got Medusa?”

“Oh my God. What did she do?”

“Stole my blood. But that’s it. She didn’t hurt me.”

“Oh my God,” Lena mumbles again, burying her head in her hands. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t ever apologize for your mom. You’re not responsible for her actions.”

“I know,” she whispers glumly, “I just hate how I can be related to her and just… what if I go crazy, or turn bad one day? She raised me. What if- what if I become a liar. What if it turns out I don’t know how to love? And maybe- then maybe I don’t actually love you after all. Maybe I-”

“Lena,” Kara interrupts gently, crawling onto her lap so she’s sitting with her legs on either side of her. The blonde cups her face softly, looking into her eyes almost dazedly. “You love me?”

“Yes. Well, maybe. I don’t know. I think I do. That’s why I’m so afraid, Kara. What if Lillian- what if she ruined-”

“Lee?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Her breath catches, “Like…  _ :zhao _ ?”

“Like  _ :zhao _ ,” Kara confirms, kissing her softly. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Lena breathes. 

“You don’t have to-“

“.: _ zhaoodh khuhp w rraop, _ ” she blurts, searching her girlfriend’s eyes for a reaction.

“You do?” Kara gasps.

“Yeah,” she whispers, voice breaking a little. “I- I’m pretty certain.”

“Pretty certain?”

Lena smiles, a small grin that reaches her eyes. “You make me so happy,” she murmurs. “And every time I see you, my heart stops and it’s like the world revolves around you because  _ my  _ world sure as hell does.”

Kara sniffles.

“Oh no, don’t cry, you’re going to make me cry!” Lena laughs wetly, running her hands under her eyes to wipe the tears away before they fall.

Kara just tightens her grip on Lena’s face, leaning forward so their noses are almost touching. “You’re perfect,  _ khuhtiv :zhao _ . You’re beautiful,  _ Rao _ , you’re so beautiful, and Lillian is a butthole and not even actually related to you. Your mother’s actions don’t define you, Lee.”

Lena sniffs, tipping her head up to kiss Kara. “I love you. Thank you, darling.”

“I love you, too. So… dinner?”

“I’ll go,” she confirms, and Kara rolls off her with a squeal of delight.

“Yay! Oh- Alex sent me, like, ten messages.”

“We should tell her.”

Kara just looks anxiously at the texts. “Can we wait one more week?”

Lena nods, burying her nose in her hair. “We can wait one more week.”

***

Kara does her best to avoid Alex all week, but it’s not hard when CatCo and the DEO have her scrambling all over the place with a new case. Her sister can see that she’s stressed, and thankfully, doesn’t question her about Lena.

But then, the day comes when they’re all meeting at Kara’s apartment for dinner with Eliza.

Lena’s already there when Alex and Maggie arrive, both looking a little nervous but happy.

“Hey- oh, Lena, you’re already here. Why are you so early?”

She stands up from the couch, a faint smirk on her lips. “I just wanted to spend some time with my best friend.” She runs her hands over the wrinkles in her shirt from when she and Kara had been cuddling and waves, turning to Maggie. “And you must be Maggie.”

The detective nods, reaching out an arm to shake Lena’s, and Kara stifles a laugh at the formality. “Miss Luthor.”

“Lena is fine.”

“Lena,” Maggie amends.

There’s a knock on the door then, and Kara bounces to opening it, greeting her adoptive mother with a hug, “Eliza! Hi!”

“Hey, Kara,” Eliza laughs, patting her adopted daughter on the back. “Alex,” she nods to her biological daughter with a warm smile. “And, oh! Is this Maggie?”

Alex blushes, and Kara’s looks at her sister’s girlfriend with a half-impressed, half-stunned look. “Yup.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Eliza. Alex speaks very highly of you.”

“Mom,” Alex mutters.

Maggie just chuckles, interlocking her fingers with Alex’s. “It’s nice to meet you too, Eliza.”

And then she turns to Lena, and Kara gulps.

“You must be the girlfriend.”

“What?!” Kara and Alex shout simultaneously. Maggie and Lena merely look amused.

“Am I wrong?” Eliza looks between Kara and Lena. “Oh, my apologies.”

Kara, ears pink, turns to Lena, biting her lip anxiously, “ _ raozhosi kryp w zhehd?” _

Lena smiles comfortingly, " _.izo sem rraop .nahn voi w gehd bah_ "

Alex groans, “Of course you speak Kryptonian.”

“She’s really smart!” Kara gushes, “She can speak a lot of languages!”

“Which ones?” Eliza asks.

“English, Spanish, Gaelic, Mandarin Chinese… ooh, I think French, and maybe Cantonese?”

Lena flushes, “Not well. Kara taught me Kryptonian, though.”

“They’re dating,” Maggie announces.

Kara opens her mouth, but nothing comes out.

“Wait, what? How do you know?” Alex looks rapidly from Maggie to her sister and Lena.

“I’m a detective. I can  _ see things _ .”

Alex turns to them, “Is she right?”

Kara hesitates before sheepishly, stepping closer to her girlfriend.

The auburn-haired girl looks rapidly from Kara to Lena, expression a little stunned. “B-but you said she’s your best friend!”

Lena laughs. “Just because she’s my girlfriend doesn’t mean she can’t be my best friend as well.”

“Huh. Most people don’t take that type of friend-zoning lightly, Luthor.”

“You owe me fifty,” Maggie murmurs in Alex’s ear.

“You-” Kara splutters. “you bet on whether we’re dating?!”

Maggie just smirks, pocketing the fifty dollar bill Alex slips her.

“So…” Eliza says slowly, turning to Lena, “Kara’s girlfriend…”

“Lena Luthor.”

Something flashes in her eyes at the mention of “Luthor," and Lena doesn’t miss it.

“I, uh, I understand if you don’t exactly want me near your daughter.”

Eliza shakes her head fondly at that, “No! I can see you two are happy, and I’d never do something like that. Lena, you don’t deserve to be judged on your last name because you aren’t responsible for your brother or your mother’s actions, okay?”

She just gapes. The oldest Danvers pulls her into a hug Lena’s not quite sure how to respond to, just awkwardly bringing her forearms up.

“You’re a Danvers now, okay? Even if things go bad between you two, you’re always welcome here.” Eliza tells her firmly. “I hope we can be the family you always deserved.”

When she pulls away, Lena is sniffling, eyes flooding with tears. 

“Oh, honey,” the older woman pats her lightly on the shoulder, smiling tenderly when Kara (who is also tearing up) pulls her girlfriend into a soft kiss.

“Thank you,” she breathes. “That- that means a lot to me.”

“Anytime.”

“Okay,” Alex declares, “this is getting too teary and emotional for me. Can we, you know, eat dinner?”

Kara perks up, “Food?”

Lena presses a soft kiss to Kara’s cheek, chuckling affectionately, “Yes, darling, food.”

“Yessss!”

She’s never felt so  _ at home _ in her entire life.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **kryptonese translations!**
> 
> _/:zhao/_ = romantic love  
> (if you don't know this at this point s;afjdlksdjk what have you been doing)
> 
>  _/.:zhaoodh khuhp w rraop/_ = I love you (romantically)  
> (you may have noticed i used /khuhp/ and /rraop/ instead of the typical /khap/ and /rrip/ but gendered pronouns are typically used when intimate or informal... and lena's still learning kryptahniuo and the rules literally say that if you're not sure whether to use gendered or not, use gender-neutral just to be safe. also, it's not super intimate yet)
> 
>  _/khuhtiv :zhao/_ = my love  
> (there's a part of me that kind of thinks it's /khuhp i :zhao/ because love is typically an emotion, which falls under the category of inalienable possession. but "my love" is referring to someone as a person, and unless it's family, it usually qualifies as alienable possession)
> 
>  _/raozhosi kryp w zhehd?/_ = should we tell them?  
> literally: should we inform (information+verb suffix) them?  
> (/raozhosi/ is /raozh/, meaning "information" + /-odh/ = present simple verb suffix + /-si/ (minus last consonant) = subjunctive)
> 
>  _/.izo sem rraop .nahn voi w gehd bah/_ = if you want. i'm fine with it.
> 
> **kryptonian phrase of the day!**  
>  _/.kaopaiodh rraos iahzrhimahzh rraop/_  
>  note: word order might be off. i dunno. too tired to check
> 
> **answer for yesterday's:**
> 
> /.rrem nahn gehd w :dol, skilorodh .pahskiles ehrosh w rraop ni tagehd/ = when it hurts, observe. life is trying to teach you something.  
> literally: when it is bad, see. life is showing you something
> 
> /rrem/= when  
> /gehd/= it  
> /nahn/= is  
> /:dol/= bad  
> /skilorodh/= see  
> /ehrosh/= life  
> /pahskiles/= is showing  
> /rraop/= you  
> /tahgehd/= something


	30. if i just lay here, would you lie with me and forget the world?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 30: Night
> 
> Prompt: Lena was sent to kill Kara but they got hurt and now Kara is naively nursing Lena back to health and calling them cute pet names Lena cannot do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm 9 days late :(((
> 
> it's 1:25 am... october 9th, and I'm finally posting the chapter
> 
> i'm so sorryyy but it's 12k words so i hope that makes up for it
> 
> haven't even started day 31... forgive me 
> 
> //
> 
> 11-04-20
> 
> hey... i know i suck at updating on time but i have 8k words for this chapter so far for no reason at all and i dunno i just feel exhausted and hopeless but i promise you I'll get the last two chapters up sometime soon
> 
> like i know, i know i didn't publish a single chapter on the day i was supposed to because i didn't even know supercorptober was a thing until october 1st at 9 pm and then i didn't have time to write it until around 10 to midnight so... 
> 
> sad boi hours is usually a great time to write because it's cathartic and everything but like...
> 
> i'm not even sad
> 
> i just kinda feel like crap
> 
> for no reason at all
> 
> only wrote about 8k in the last 3 days heh... i need to do better
> 
> no words in my head
> 
> where there used to be... everything
> 
> it's lonely.
> 
> (I'm sorry.)
> 
> 4 days past the due date now.
> 
> procrastination at its finest... truly
> 
> sorry guys... i know i'm a terrible person to wait for 
> 
> *disappointment*
> 
> but really, thank you for sticking with me, especially those who have left kudos or bothered to comment
> 
> love you guys with all of my heart
> 
> and your comments and kudos truly mean the world to me
> 
> never have i felt so... validated before, so thank you thank you thank you for that
> 
> 7.2k views... i could almost smile right now :)
> 
> will never have the words to express how eternally grateful i am
> 
> i was gonna say something about how i'm a terrible writer but honestly the english language is just lacking... or maybe overuse has rendered most words obsolete
> 
> but i'm also pretty lacking in talent (and practice)
> 
> just didn't imagine tackling this challenge would be so exhausting
> 
> and i'm still stupid enough to consider nanowrimo
> 
> hope you guys are doing well... if anyone's reading this
> 
> sorry if i got someone's hopes up
> 
> (although, who am i kidding? that someone probably doesn't exist)
> 
> lots of love
> 
> (and prayers and good wishes and hugs because God knows i need some too but i'm still all for giving when i have nothing (s'okay, i'm just being dramatic))
> 
> <3
> 
> \- e
> 
> //
> 
> I'm actually considering making this a stand-alone one-shot... I'm thinking I'll edit and add stuff and post it by itself. same with a few other one-shots in this ficlet collection... 
> 
> Chapter Title from "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol.

In Lena’s defense, the girl on the other side of the road is  _ really pretty. _

She had tracked Supergirl all the way to Midvale after she found out the superhero had left National City.

Only to be rendered blind and stupid by a pretty girl.

She grimaces in pain, quietly cursing the car under her breath as it speeds by without stopping. It doesn’t hurt that much at first, but as she lays there, paralyzed with pain, it grows worse with every passing second.

Her ribs are likely broken; the car struck her right in the chest and sent her flying off the road into a ditch. Her left arm breaks the fall, just barely, shattering on impact. Her left leg is crushed under her body and she groans as she feels the leg pop from the socket.

At least she doesn’t hit her head.

Every breath she takes sends a sharp pain through her chest.

She can hear the rapid sound of footsteps, and she wheezes a barely audible, “Help.”

Lena sees bright blue eyes right before she passes out, and her last thought is  _ beautiful. _

***

Lena wakes up in a foreign bed, the room around her white and pristine, the sensation of  _ flying _ echoing in her mind and on her skin.

It’s strange.

Her left arm is bandaged and in a sling, a little itchy and stinging with pain. Her leg feels fine. It’s just sore and throbbing; it had probably been set back into place. There’s a cast around her ankle.

She glances around, a little panicked, and tries to sit up. It’s then she realizes there’s a bandage wrapped comfortably around her chest, keeping her chest almost immobile. Also, it hurts like  _ hell, _ and she yelps.

“You’re awake!” a cheery voice exclaims, and she slowly lowers herself back onto the bed, head starting to hurt, too.

“What’s going on? Where am I?” Lena looks around until her gaze lands on a blonde woman, that same woman that she had been staring at while crossing the street, the same woman that had looked down at her seconds before she slipped into unconsciousness.

“Well, you see,” she smiles hesitantly, “you got hit by a car. But there’s no hospital or doctor within twenty miles of here, and I don’t have a car. So I took you to my house! My mom’s a doctor, but she’s not home for a week or so. So… uh, I guess I’m taking care of you? Do you live nearby?”

She shakes her head, “N-no, uh, I’m not from around here.” Her tongue feels heavy and she’s unable to take her eyes off the woman and her brilliant smile.

“I figured. Never seen you before,” she chirps, “I’m Kara Danvers. What’s your name?”

Lena has to fight the urge not to mirror the grin. “Lena.”

“Ooh, that’s such a pretty name! Did you know that it means “moonlight” in Greek? You kind of remind me of the moon,” Kara rambles. “You’re kinda pale. And you’re really pretty. You have this cool beauty, and uh… yeah,” she finishes awkwardly.

She’s adorable. Lena’s lips twitch in the slightest. 

(Although, the very gay part of her internally screams  _ the pretty girl thinks I’m pretty! _ )

“Got a last name?”

She hesitates. The Luthor name is widely known for LuthorCorp, but also for its anti-alien views. She’s not sure she wants to come across as xenophobic, so she just tells Kara her middle name. “Kieran.”

“Well, Lena Kieran, is there someone I can contact to take you home? Parents? Siblings?”

“No.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. They wouldn’t even come if I called.”

Kara’s expression crumples into one of pure sympathy and pity, so sad she feels something twitch inside of her. “I’m so sorry, Lena.”

“It’s not your fault,” she responds curtly.

Although, it kind of is. If Kara weren’t so pretty, Lena wouldn’t have gotten distracted and then hit by the car.

“Well, where are you from?”

“National City.”

“Me too!” Kara almost squeals and Lena just chuckles at the enthusiasm. “Why are you here?”

She shrugs, “Just a little business trip.”

“To Midvale?”

“Yeah.” She finds herself actually speaking to Kara. “What about you?”

“Oh! I grew up here, and I just needed to get away from National City.”

“Oh, wait. You’re that reporter from CatCo, aren’t you?” she realizes.

“Yes! How do you know?”

“Your exposé on Lex Luthor got you a Pulitzer.” She hopes Kara doesn’t notice the bitterness in her voice.

“Yes, it did!”

Lena’s never heard someone speak using so many exclamation marks, but she finds it oddly endearing rather than annoying. She clicks her tongue. “He hasn’t been caught… unfortunately.”

Kara scrunches up her nose, “Yeah. I hope they find him soon.”

“Mhm. How’d you get so many quotes from Supergirl? You know her?” Lena tries to act as uninterested as she can, but her gaze is fixed intently on Kara, ready to absorb useful information and file it away.

There’s a visible hesitation that Lena notes. “Well, kind of.”

“Really? Are you guys friends? That’s cool.”

Kara winces slightly. “Not quite. But I guess I can say that. She never hesitates to give me a quote for an article if I need one, though.”

“That’s… nice,” Lena hums.

“Yeah.”

“Do you know if I can get in contact with her?”

“Wait, why?”

She tries to appear a little timid. After all, all she needs is to get in contact with Supergirl, and then the kryptonite will do the rest… 

“Oh,” she shrugs casually, “just want to meet her, you know? Famous and superpowers and all that.”

“Oh,” Kara grins. “I get that. I might be able to get you in touch with her.”

“Is she around here?” Lena wonders. “She isn’t in National City, is she?”

Kara frowns, “I’m pretty sure she was on the news just today.”

“I’m pretty sure that was a shapeshifting alien. That one government guy? I think they found out he was an alien last year or so, but they didn’t remove him or anything.”

The blonde stiffens. “How do you know that?”

Lena winces. She’s given too much away. “Oh,” she bluffs, “I have a friend or two pretty high up in government. I know the DEO exists. What about you? Why do you know about it?”

“Oh, my sister works there!”

“Really,” Lena muses. “Do you know where Supergirl is, then?”

Kara just shrugs but doesn’t meet her gaze. “No, I don’t. She could be anywhere. She can fly and stuff, y’know? Maybe even off-world.”

Lena’s pretty sure Kara’s covering for her superhero friend unless she’s mistaken and Supergirl isn’t in Midvale.

“Hmm, okay.” A yawn parts her jaws, and Kara smiles softly at her, a tiny grin that, strangely enough, makes her heart skip a beat.

“You should get some rest, Lee. Wait, Can I call you Lee?”

Her eyebrows stitch together.

“Not that Lena isn’t a good name,” Kara rushes out. “I think it’s a beautiful name,” she says earnestly. “Like you! I mean, uh, sorry, that was instinctual. The calling you “Lee.” And also the, uh, beautiful thing. Sorry! I have nicknames for my friends. Uhm, sorry, uhm I think I kinda wanna be your friend… if that’s okay?”

Lena laughs, really laughs for the first time in a while, and although it hurts her cracked ribs, it feels nice. Warm. “Of course, Kara,” she replies, although every part of her tells her to pull away, to hide herself and just say  _ I’m not looking for friends. _

The blinding grin sent her way makes everything seem worth it.

***

She wakes up to darkness. Through the window, she can see that it’s nighttime outside, and there’s a plate of food sitting next to her bed. And a bottle of painkillers.

It’s a simple grilled cheese and tomato soup, and her stomach growls at the sight. She takes it gratefully, eating it quickly, along with a couple of painkillers. It’s then she notices the silence and glances around. The house is empty, and she feels oddly lonely despite having been alone (with the exception of her brother and his company) for the past few years.

There’s a flash of movement outside, and Lena swears she sees blonde hair, but it passes. She peers into the darkness, but from her position, she can’t really see anything.

“Kara?”

In barely two seconds, the blonde is standing at the doorframe, looking a little disheveled and breathless. “Lee! What is it?”

Her heart warms at the little nickname. “Nothing. I, uh, I- I thought I saw something. Nevermind. Sorry for bothering you.”

“No worries! Do you need anything?”

Lena flushes. “Um, yes, actually. Can you show me where the bathroom is?”

Kara blushes as well. “Right. Of course. Do you want to shower? I think my clothes will fit you, if you don’t mind?”

“Thank you, Kara,” she says genuinely.

“Of course,” the blonde murmurs, sitting on the bed beside her to help her up.

Lena slowly sits up, grunting as the pain flares up at the movement. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” she breathes, letting Kara pull her arm over her neck. 

She staggers to her feet, or, well, one foot, most of her weight leaning on Kara, who amazingly, doesn’t stumble, just takes the weight easily.

“How’d you get me back here?” Lena asks suddenly, and there’s a faint memory of the wind brushing her skin.

“I carried you.”

“What?”

“You’re pretty light, if you haven’t noticed.” Kara slips an arm around her waist, and Lena’s stomach  _ thrashes _ inside her gut. She notices the hard muscle of the blonde’s arms, one wrapped securely around her waist, the other hanging by her side.

Her cheeks go pink, and her heart stutters a little bit. She ducks her head to hide it.

Kara looks a little worried. “You okay?”

“Of course,” she croaks, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

Slowly, they hobble to the bathroom, Kara acting as Lena’s crutch. 

(Un)fortunately for Lena, she finds it impossible to unbutton her pants with one functional hand. Her left arm is stuck in the sling, fingers immobilized by the cast.

“Let me help!”

Lena automatically sucks in her stomach when Kara’s knuckle grazes her abdomen through her shirt. 

Kara stops, looking concerned.

“Just ticklish,” she forces out through gritted teeth, everything  _ down there _ clenched to refrain from jerking away or doing something equally as stupid.

(Like kissing her.)

The blonde nods, letting out a satisfied murmur when the button is undone, the zipper following it. Lena’s cheeks burn the whole time.

“Thank you,” she rasps, and Kara nods, walking out. “I’m going to go get you some comfortable clothes real quick. Just do your business and call me back when you’re going to shower.”

She nods, too flushed to say a word.

Kara leaves, leaving the door lightly closed with a small sliver of space between the frame and the door.

When she’s finished, she manages to stagger to her feet and kick off the rest of her pants. 

“Kara,” she calls softly, feeling oddly embarrassed.

It only takes three seconds for the woman to push open the door, almost as if she had been standing just outside. Lena misses the way Kara blushes when her eyes flicker to her legs.

A pile of comfortable-looking clothes is placed neatly on the marble sink top, along with a towel.

Kara gently tugs the sling off, hands tracing over the stiff cast lightly.

“Do you mind if I take off your shirt?”

_ She’s probably not gay _ , she tells herself. 

“Go ahead,” she almost whispers, her throat closing up immediately after.

Gentle as ever, Kara pulls the cloth over her head, hands and fingers careful and soft on her skin. She’s left standing in her bra and underwear, face burning hotter than it ever has before. 

Lena tries, harder than she’s tried to do anything before, not to suck in a breath audibly every time Kara’s warm fingers graze her skin.

Some cling wrap is wrapped around her cast, followed by a plastic bag that’s tied with nimble fingers. The same is done for her foot, and then Kara unwraps the few bandages around her ribs.

She feels very naked in front of Kara, who respectfully averts her eyes or keeps it fixed on Lena’s face. 

“You good?”

Lena nods wordlessly.

Kara moves a stool inside the shower and turns on the water to the proper setting, letting it heat up.

“If you need help, just call, okay?”

She swallows, nodding again.

There’s a faint touch that seems to sear her shoulder, but it’s gone in an instant, and she’s left alone in the bathroom.

Her heart is pounding like crazy.

***

The next few days go by without incident, and the same happens. 

Kara takes Lena downstairs to watch a movie or TV show together sometimes, and Lena genuinely enjoys the cheery blonde’s company. Sometimes, she’ll bring up a board game, or chess (which Lena always beats her at, to her dismay), and they’ll play and laugh together for hours on end. Kara still helps Lena up and down the stairs and to and from the bathroom, although Lena’s finding it progressively easier to walk on her own.

Every time Kara helps undress her, it’s hard not to blurt something stupid, and so she bites her tongue, literally, every time. 

By the end of the week, she has bite marks on her tongue.

“Why are you taking care of me?” Lena asks one day. “Isn’t this your vacation?”

Kara nods. “Well, yeah, but you’re hurt. And,” she adds when the Luthor opens her mouth to object, “I enjoy taking care of you. And being around you. It’s nice having a new friend.”

“I should pay you back.”

“No! That’s unnecessary! Don’t worry about it!”

“But all the extra money for food, and you’re letting me stay in your guest room.”

“Your friendship and company are enough,” Kara smiles at her softly, embracing her gently. She’s gotten used to the hugs by now, but they never fail to make her heart rate spike, and her insides melt.

Lena knows she shouldn’t be falling for a stranger, especially when she’s on a mission and distractions aren’t quite welcome.

She gets a call one day. The first since she arrived.

“I need to take this,” she says hastily, swiping up the phone before Kara can see the name on the gray screen. 

Kara just nods, and Lena limps outside. 

“Lex,” she greets, voice devoid of emotion.

“Hello, Lena,” he says cooly. “How is it going with your mission?”

“I tracked her to Midvale,” she reports, omitting the fact she’s hurt and a random woman is taking care of her. “I’m getting close.”

“You have the kryptonite?”

“Yup,” she confirms, carefully shifting her weight against the wall she’s leaning against.

“Good.” Lex’s voice takes on a velvety tone, smooth and low. 

“It’s time you proved you’re a true Luthor.”

***

There’s something  _ off _ about Kara.

Eliza, Kara’s mother, comes back, and welcomes her, saying she’s allowed to stay as long as she likes.

She takes a look at Lena’s bandages and cast and praises her daughter for doing a good job.

Lena’s chest warms as she watches Kara’s chest swell with pride.

It doesn’t really change the way they operate because not two weeks later, Eliza leaves for another trip.

“She’s a scientist,” Kara explains. “Research trip.”

Lena nods. That’s reasonable.

But Kara starts to act a little weird. She leaves the house for longer periods of time, and one day, Lena finds another pair of glasses, identical to the pair Kara wears.

It’s oddly heavy, and she concludes the frames are made with lead. But why lead? She holds it up in front of her eyes.

No prescription.

That’s the first sign of many.

There’s nothing really  _ wrong _ though. Lena leaves the house once in a while, slowly walking to the local supermarket as her ankle heals rapidly, just to cook dinner to repay Kara.

Sometimes, Kara is messy when she returns to the house, black smudges on her face. Her hair looks almost windswept, even after tied up as if she had sat in a car with the window open.

But Kara doesn’t own a car.

_ Maybe there’s a boyfriend? _ Lena suspects and the thought brings a pang to her heart.

_ Nope, nope, nope! No being disappointed. She’s straight.  _

No matter how quietly she calls for Kara, the blonde is there in mere seconds. At the longest, Lena counts fifty-four seconds, even after she’s left the house for unknown reasons. Even in the middle of the night, when she jerks awake with a yelp of pain after rolling over, Kara is at her side almost instantly, asking her if she wants a painkiller, asking her if she wants to adjust the temperature, or if she needs water.

It’s strange, how it always seems like Kara is waiting for Lena to ask for her.

Sometimes, she overhears Kara on the phone, speaking a foreign language flawlessly.

It’s none she’s ever heard before, nothing  _ like _ anything she’s heard before.

_ Another planet, maybe? _

Lena discovers it one day. The thing that confirms Kara is the person she’s been looking for. The very person she’s on a mission to… hurt.

She finds the red peeking out behind the door one day.

It doesn’t belong in the pale aesthetic of the house, and so she goes to check it out, pulling open the door to find a whole bunch of clothes hung on a hanger.

She pulls them out of the way and… it’s there.

It’s Supergirl’s suit.

The vivid red had been the cape.

Lena closes the door, sitting herself down on the couch with her head buried in her hands. She has a headache.

She walks up to the guest room and tucks herself in bed before Kara even gets back with dinner. Her stomach is churning too hard to eat.

“Hey,” Kara, no,  _ Supergirl _ , pokes her head into the room, a bag of takeout dangling from her hand. “Dinner?”

Lena just shakes her head, wondering how in the world she hadn’t seen it before. She can’t unsee the resemblance now.

_ Goddammit, Supergirl is pretty and I like her- no, I’m in love with her… goddammit. _

“Tired?”

She nods wordlessly, pulling the blankets tighter up under her chin.

“You feeling okay?” Kara looks at her with such wide, worried eyes Lena almost breaks right there. 

Maybe Supergirl is good… maybe she’s wrong about aliens… maybe… 

No. Lex couldn’t be wrong. There  _ has _ to be a reason they’re hunting down the Kryptonians, right?

“Yeah,” she replies softly, hating how her voice is so vulnerable. “I’m okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, then.” Kara looks a little subdued. “Good night, beautiful.”

The Kryptonian freezes, looking mortified and conflicted, but doesn’t say another word before she disappears and the door shuts.

She doesn’t sleep that night.

_ Good night, beautiful _ .

***

Lena pulls out the piece of kryptonite from its lead container, buried deep in her bag. Kara hadn’t found it yet, luckily. It’s synthetic kryptonite. 

Supercharged.

She had found a way to engineer a stable isotope of the substance, one that is so much more effective than the unstable, cheap replica Lex and Lillian had created before.

She holds the small lump in hand, her throat hitching as she gazes at the stone, green and glowing. She closes her hand around it, but it continues to pulse with light.

There’s a thump behind her, the stumble of a person caught off guard.

She whirls around, and Kara’s there, standing.

“I-is that kryptonite?”

Kara stands up tall, a good distance from the lump of lethal kryptonite. She’s far away enough to not be affected too badly.

“Yeah.”

“Where-” Kara breaks off, gritting her teeth, clearly trying to hide the pain she’s in. “Where did you get it?”

“I found it.”

Even Lena sees the way Kara moves one hand behind her back, clenched into a fist as her capillaries begin to turn green from the poisoning. 

Guilt like a knife plunges into her chest.

She drops it back into its lead container, and back into her bag.

Kara visibly relaxes, standing taller, the radiation slowly drains from her system. She looks like she wants to ask Lena to throw it out, but there’s nothing she can say without revealing herself now.

“Kara,” she whispers.

“Lee?”

“We need to talk about something.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re Supergirl, aren’t you?”

Kara slumps, looking so defeated, Lena just wants to get up and hug her. “Yeah,” is all she says.

The Luthor doesn’t know what to say. She’s not sure if she can say anything without breaking. 

“I’m sorry.”

“No,” Lena rushes out immediately, “No. It’s your secret. I didn’t have the right to know.”

“Well,” Kara lifts her arms weakly, letting them flop back to her sides. “Now you know.” She looks weary.

“I’m sorry…” 

“Can I see the kryptonite?” Kara asks, and Lena tosses the lead canister to her without hesitation. “Can- can I get rid of it? This… it can kill me.”

Lena nods numbly.

She watches Kara throw it out the window, half a mile out into the middle of the lake.

She feels a bit better.

But it pains her to know that in any situation, she’d choose Kara over everything.

Even her own family.

***

She gets another call from Lex.

“Update?”

“I found her.”

“And?”

“I know her civilian name, her secret identity.”

“Tell me.”

“No. Not until I bring her back.”

“Dead?”

“Dead,” she says, and even if no one can hear it in her voice, her heart shatters.

***

“Kieran’s my middle name,” she blurts out one day.

Kara looks at her curiously. 

“It’s Luthor.”

Kara blinks.

“Are you mad at me?”

“N-no. You’re Lena Luthor…  _ the _ Lena Luthor?”

Lena nods, wringing her hands anxiously. “I’m sorry for lying to you. I didn’t want you to think I was a bad person, or xenophobic, or-”

“Are you?”

She hesitates. “Maybe, at some point. But I’ve changed. Not anymore, I promise. Please don’t be mad.”

“Oh, Lee,” Kara sighs, giving her a pained smile. “I could never be mad at you. Not for your last name.”

“Why not? My brother tried to kill your cousin?”  _ And I’m trying to kill you _ .

“It’s not fair of me to judge you and assume things just because of your last name, Lena. You’re a good person. I can see that for myself. You’re good and kind and beautiful, and your soul is beautiful, and you don’t deserve to be treated differently just because your family has wronged mine, okay?”

There’s a lump in her throat she can’t swallow, a rock sitting in her stomach she can’t quite rid. Guilt.

“Okay,” she whispers brokenly and lets herself cry.

Kara sweeps her up into her arms, strong arms and warm hands enveloping her body, stroking her back reassuringly. And Lena lets herself cry, all for the wrong reasons.

“I love you,” she says, so, so quietly, as if she’s afraid of the truth.

“I love you, too,” Kara says back.

Lena kisses her.

Just… pulls back from the hug, just enough so they’re still holding each other, and kisses Kara. 

It’s something she’s been longing to do since the first week, to check if those beautiful, perfect lips are soft, if they’re kissable, if they’re as perfect as she thinks they are.

And Kara’s kissing her back, to her surprise, but she doesn’t stop, just keeps kissing her, first softly, and then more insistently.

A sob rips its way from her chest, and more tears spill as she shuts her eyes, trying to lose herself in the kisses.

They ignite a fire in her she’s never felt before, a passion, yes, but also a gentle, flickering flame. More than just lust and attraction and passion.  _ Love? _

“I love you,” she says again, when she takes a breath.

“I love you,” she says, mumbled against Kara’s lips.

“I love you,” she says, gasped when Kara’s tongue touches hers.

“I love you,” Kara says back, in the second they pull back to catch their breath, foreheads pressed together, eyes gazing into each other.

“I love you,” Kara says back, murmured in between kisses and into kisses.

“I love you,” Kara says back, right as her tongue traces the valley between her lips and dips into her mouth.

“I love you, so, so much.” Lena’s not sure who says it.

They’re in Lena’s room. Lena’s not quite sure how they get up there, but maybe Kara had flown them.

She’s pressed against the door, head tipped to the side, allowing the flood of pleasure to sweep away the guilt, to drown out the guilt.

She’s gasping Kara’s name as they’re maneuvered to the bed. Lena’s arm is aching, but she doesn’t let it hinder her movements.

Her right hand works desperately at the bottom of Kara’s shirt, trying to pull it off because she wants to feel Kara’s skin, she  _ needs  _ to feel Kara’s skin.

Lena almost rips her own shirt off, surging forward immediately after because the two seconds they had parted to allow the cloth to pass between them is too much.

And then her hand is scrabbling at the button of Kara’s jeans, fingernails almost breaking as she tries to undo the button hastily because  _ everything _ is burning within her, searing through her veins and scorching her skin.

“Need you,” she pleads, whimpering when Kara’s leg between her own presses against her,  _ just right _ .

Kara stops. “Are you sure?”

Lena doesn’t let her finish before she kisses her again. “I love you.”

Kara takes it, doesn’t stop, tugs off the rest of her clothing.

It’s not until they lay, breathing heavily, holding each other, skin against skin, does Lena let herself relax.

The sleep sweeps her away before guilt can.

***

The next day is fine.

It’s okay.

They don’t talk about it because Eliza’s back.

But they kiss, and they whisper, “I love you,” and they smile, even if it’s just to hide Lena’s pain and guilt.

She contemplates telling Kara everything.

The “you’re perfect’s” and the “hey, beautiful’s” and the “I love you’s” dig a deeper hole in her chest every time.

She waits until Eliza’s at the store, the guilt plaguing her so overwhelming she’s fallen to her knees.

“Kara,” she rasps.

“Lee.” The blonde is at her side in an instant, arms wrapping so gently around her Lena just wants to melt into it and not say a thing.

She has to, though. “I lied to you.”

“About what?”

“Why I’m here.”

Lena begins to cry, pale green eyes flooding with tears that do nothing to take the ache away.

“Then why are you here?”

She rips herself from Kara’s grip, tumbling sideways, crying out as her arm strikes the ground first.

“Lena-”

“Don’t!” she shouts. “Don’t touch me!”

“What?” Hurt fills Kara’s eyes. “W-why?”

“I’m going to hurt you. Y- you have to get away from me. I might hurt you.”

“I thought we went over this!” Kara cries, stepping closer. “Your last name- it doesn’t define who you are! You’re Lena Kieran Luthor, a good and beautiful and amazing and wonderful and kind person!”

“I wish that were true,” she croaks.

“What?!”

“I’m here to kill you.  _ That’s _ why I’m here. That’s why I had the kryptonite. My brother sent me.”

Kara is silent, so she barrels on, the fist around her heart squeezing so tight every breath is a struggle. She wonders if her ribs aren’t fully healed after all, if somehow, a shard had punctured it, or maybe her lungs are collapsing.

“I- I tracked Supergirl from National City. Lex- he told me that she had left, that a Martian shapeshifter had taken her place. I followed her here, Kara. I followed you here. And then, and then, I got hit by that car, and you rescued me and you healed me and all along, you were Supergirl, and you were the person I’m supposed to kill, but I- I can’t do that. But at the same time, I  _ have _ to, but- but I can’t. I don’t know how. I can’t do it. I never could, even before I met you.

“I don’t know why I listened to him. But then, but then I met you, and I fell in love with you, with Kara. But Kara’s also Supergirl, and I- I hate myself for even agreeing to do this. Because  _ god-fucking-dammit _ , the universe hates me and Supergirl just  _ had _ to be you.”

She’s breathing heavily when she finishes. 

Kara just looks at her sadly, eyes swimming in tears. 

And those eyes, those soulful, beautiful eyes burn holes right through her now, and she wrenches her gaze away.

Lips touch hers, Kara’s lips, kissing her softly as if to say  _ it’s okay _ . But no, it’s not okay because it’s never going to be okay again.

She runs.

She rips herself away, and throws herself out the door, running running running until the paved asphalt roads taper off into sand and dirt. It’s not far, only about two minutes, and somehow Kara hasn’t caught up to her yet, but Lena knows she will soon.

She runs, and every time her bad foot strikes the ground, pain lances up her leg, her spine, her heart. The impact of every step sends excruciating pain shooting through her broken arm.

But nothing compares to the cavity in her chest because she’s left her heart behind and she’s not sure if she’ll ever get it back.

***

She runs for five minutes before she hears it. 

“Lena!” 

It’s shrieked into the night, full of pain and worry and concern, but most bewildering of all,  _ terror _ .

She’s sweating, and everything hurts terribly, even if the ache in her heart drowns it all out. 

“Lena!” It’s louder, it’s roared, and she can see Kara now, fully suited up, flying towards her, just a speck growing larger.

She doesn’t stop running.

A bag is slipped over her head, and the last thing she registers is

“I knew you’d fail, sister.”

***

Lena comes to with her wrists tied together, hands pulled high above her head on a scratchy rope.

Her vision clears as she blinks, and then there’s  _ Kara _ .

Lifeless on the floor, veins pulsing kryptonite green, a pool of crimson under her head.

“No!” she screams hoarsely, straining against her bonds, and that’s when her brother saunters in.

He clicks his tongue in disappointment, circling her as he tosses a small gun in his hands. “What happened, sister? Why didn’t you kill her?”

Lex’s expression is neutral, a faint smile on his lips, looking at her expectantly, like a teacher calling on a student who he knows doesn’t know the answer.

She lifts her chin defiantly, willing her voice not to shake when she confidently answers, “I love her.”

Lex chuckles, smooth, low, eyes flaring at her response. She feels the cold muzzle of the gun against her temple. “Wrong answer,” he hisses, the calm in eyes giving away to storm. The blue in his eyes is nothing like Kara’s.

It’s ice where Kara’s is the warm cerulean of the Atlantic on a summer day. It’s cold, so, so cold and Lena wonders how she ever looked into them. 

His eyes are crazed, his lips flecked with spittle and he edges closer to her, mouth only inches from her face. 

“After everything I  _ did _ for you,” he spits. “Urged Mother to give you another chance, promised you a rightful place among us as the  _ saviors of the planet _ .”

She scoffs, “Saviors? Of course, you’d think that. They’re not  _ bad _ , Lex, can’t you see? You’re the evil one here.”

He laughs slowly. It sends a chill up her spine, and when his eyes meet hers again, she has to force herself not to look away. It’s the glare of a psychopath, a crazy person.

“No,” he breathes, and she blinks as his warm breath hits her face. “You got it all wrong. They’re here to destroy us. They’re here to beat us and kill us off, one by one. You don’t see it! You’re blinded by what’s in front of you!” She fights not to wince as saliva sprays her face. 

“Look at… this!” he struggles to control himself, pointing an accusing finger at Supergirl. “They have powers. They have strength and speed that we don’t. They could kill us with a flick of a finger. They- they could destroy us and you’re here,  _ loving _ one of them? You have it all wrong, Leelee. You don’t love her,” he says with so much conviction she almost believes it. 

“You’re falling under her charm. She doesn’t really love you. She’s only here to hurt you. You were supposed to hurt her,  _ kill her _ before you hand the chance.” he snarls.

“No!” she growls. “You’re wrong. She loves me. And I’m never going to kill her for you.”

“No?” he smiles, eerily calm. “Okay, then.”

He turns the gun on Kara, slowly stalking up to her.

“Stop,” she growls, wrists straining against her bonds. “Don’t.”

He kicks her in the stomach, laughing to himself when she stirs and groans. “Pathetic.”

Lena almost slumps in relief.  _ Oh my God. She’s alive. _ “You’re a monster,” she grunts, wrists aching as she fights to free herself, fingers scratching at the knot. Pain radiates throughout her injured arm and she has to pause to blink back tears. “It doesn’t mean I have to be one too.”

_ No crying. _

“No. They’re the monsters,” Lex declares with utter conviction, towering over Supergirl, who looks suddenly small.

“Lena,” she gasps when her head slams into the floor with the force of Lex’s foot.

“K- Supergirl,” she whispers, and then she lets the tears fall. 

“What’s her real name?” Lex saunters back over to Lena, tapping the gun against his palm.

“I’m not telling you.”

“Or… I could do this.” A hand whips across her face, and agony blossoms in her cheek. She bites down so hard on her tongue she tastes blood.

“No.”

“Tell me,” he grows.

“No,” she says firmly, although her face is throbbing.

It’s a punch in the stomach next, and all Lena can think is  _ How can he do this? How can my own brother do this to me? _

“No!” Kara shrieks, “Lena!”

The superhero struggles to pull herself to her feet, but the second she’s bracing herself with her hands, Lex points the gun at her and fires a round into her shoulder.

She lets out a pained scream and collapses back to the floor, eyes screwed shut in agony. The kryptonite has weakened her enough so that her skin is penetrable. The bullet seems to ricochet off the humerus and exit, and even if she is no longer invulnerable  _ thank God she’s still stronger than most humans. _

“Lex!” she cries out, horror pooling in her stomach as blood trickles from the wound.

Her brother doesn’t appear to hear her, just eyes the gun in his hand. “Hmm. So Kryptonians  _ can _ be hurt by regular bullets. But why use regular bullets when I can use kryptonite?”

Lena’s stomach rolls when Lex pulls out another gun, the ammunition inside glowing a radioactive green. She watches in agony as Kara’s eyes close at the proximity to pure kryptonite.

“Lex, please,” she gasps raggedly. “Don’t hurt her.”

“Oh, but I think I have to,” he says, clicking tongue. 

Kara cries out again when Lex’s foot digs into her shoulder wound, and Lena feels something inside of her shatter.

“No!” she screams through her tears, fighting against the rope that holds her in place, even if she’s in so much pain herself she can hardly think straight.

Lex doesn’t listen, just continues to circle the Kryptonian, kicking her in the stomach or the head every once in a while.

“Stop,” she begs her brother. “Stop. Hurt me all you want. But please don’t hurt her.”

He sighs in disappointment, shaking his head. “You don’t get it, Lena. These,” he struggles to keep his words controlled, saliva spraying out of his mouth with every word he spits, “... _ Kryptonians _ are here to destroy us. And when I finally kill them, then we will be free. Just like the old times, Leelee, remember? When we were kids? No aliens around to hurt you and me. I can finally get rid of Superman, too, and then we’ll be one family again. Isn’t that what you want?”

His eyes are wide, pleading, but behind them is a feral snarl, the twisted sneer of a psychopath.

“No,” Lena shakes her vigorously. “No. Maybe once. But- why are you hurting them, Lex? What’s the real reason? Is it because you’re no longer in the spotlight? Is it because you’re not the best anymore?” She sees the dangerous rage flare in his eyes, and she knows she’s hit her mark. “What do you really want, Lex? Tell me, where is Lillian. Why isn’t she here?”

He lifts his chin. “I had to… deal with some things with her. Fear not, though, she is still with me. Lena,  _ come on _ . We can be a family again.” He looks at her, pleading, hands clasped together, his words so genuine she hesitates.

“No,” she says coldly. “You’re not doing this for us, Lex. You got rid of Lillian because she was in your way, and now, you’re trying to do the same to me. This was never about  _ family _ . This is about you. You and your megalomania. It always has been.”

“How dare you?” he growls, and she feels a twinge of fear start in her stomach and grow until it’s a thorny vine, snaking upwards and sinking into her heart. “How dare you say that?! I did it for  _ you _ , Lena! I knew something would happen, and you’d grow soft! I gave you a chance. And you  _ failed _ , as usual.”

She swallows the dread rising in her throat, the guilt throbbing in her chest. “Your guilt trips aren’t going to work anymore, Lex. What are you going to do now?”

“Kill her.”

“I won’t let you.”

“Oh, really?”

He twirls the kryptonite-loaded gun in his hands, pointing it to Kara’s head. The Kryptonian struggles to roll over, to move, but blood seeps out of the slowly closing wound in her shoulder.

“Lena,” she rasps, eyes begging her to stop. “Let him. Or he’s- he’s going to hurt you.”

Lex roars with laughter. “See? Even she wants to die. I’ll put her out of her misery right now.”

“No!” she snarls, “Stop! I’ll give you her name! What do you want me to do?”

His face takes on a carefully contemplative look, and she can see the smirk manifesting on his lips even before he turns to her.

Dread, cold, heavy dread wells up in her chest, filling her stomach and her lungs until it’s hard to breathe.

“I want  _ you _ to kill her.”

She’s silent, fighting back another wave of tears.

“Final chance to redeem yourself. You can shoot her, and I’ll let you go. If she manages to survive a kryptonite bullet,” he snorts, as if he knows already she’ll certainly die, “I’ll let her go, too. If you don’t… I’ll just kill her myself and you’re going to watch her die.”

Kara stops struggling. Just lays there, her eyes calm, although soaked with tears. She gazes at Lena, the ghost of a smile on her lips, taut with pain.  _ I trust you _ , she mouths silently, and so Lena swallows.

“I’ll do it.”

“Right choice. I always knew you’d make a great Luthor,” Lex praises. It once would’ve made her proud to please her brother, but now her stomach churns in disgust, and she has to fight not to retch at the fake pride in his tone.

She’s definitely taking Kara’s last name when they get married.

(The thought chases away the ice in her chest for a bit.)

Her wrists are unbound, and she almost cries out in pain when her left arm is freed. She slowly lowers it to her side; the shoulder isn’t too affected, thankfully, so there’s not much damage done. 

Lex points a gun at Lena’s head. 

She glares at him.

“Oh, don’t be offended, little sis. This is just so you don’t turn on me. I need to be safe, right? You know our mission is important.”

“Yeah,” she mutters through gritted teeth and then points the gun at the love of her life.

Her hand trembles and she swallows back a sob, but the tears come anyway, streaking down her sweaty and flushed face. She angrily wipes them away, but the taste of bitter salt remains, staining her tongue, her cheeks, her eyes.

“I love you,” she says, her lips so still and her voice so quiet she knows only Kara is able to pick it up with super hearing.

Kara smiles and then pushes herself to her knees so that every vulnerable part of her is exposed.

Lex looks amused, and Lena does everything in her power to refrain from punching the smug look off his face.

The tears blur her vision so much she has to stop to wipe them away, before once again leveling the gun at Kara.

She pulls the trigger.

***

Lena closes her eyes, clenching her jaw at the scream of pain and the thump as Kara’s body strikes the floor.

Lex smiles widely and lowers the gun aimed at his sister’s head. He saunters over, rips the gun from her grip, and walks away.

“You would’ve made a great Luthor,” he says wistfully as he walks out, locking the door behind him. “It’s too late now.”

Lena crumples to her knees with a guttural sob that’s been held back for minutes.

“Kara,” she gasps, crawling over to the lifeless body.

“Hey, Lena,” she croaks, green crawling up the veins of her neck. “I love you.”

“No, Kara. You’re not going to die! I’m not letting you die.”

The Kryptonian gives her a smile, and Lena’s fingers brush the filthy blonde hair from her face, tucking it behind her ears. 

“I’m afraid it’s too late,” she rasps, her good arm reaching up to cup Lena’s face.

“No- no. I know I missed your bronchial artery. You still have a chance. You have to fight this.  _ Please _ . You can’t die. You can’t die. I can’t let you die, knowing I’m the one who killed you. Please, Kara, please, please don’t leave me. I love you. I love you so, so much.”

She receives a weak smile, and then Kara shakily props herself up on one elbow to kiss her. “It hurts too much. I’ll-” her eyelids flutter, “I’ll see you again… someday.”

Kara’s entire body hurts. It’s like someone lit a fire in her blood, like acid is slowly eating away at her insides, like nails are scraping at her veins, but she doesn’t have the energy to scream.

The supercharged kryptonite bullet slowly works poison through her system, and she can feel her eyelids drooping… so, so heavy… 

***

Kara wakes up to a searing agony, almost worse than before, so bad she almost passes out immediately. A guttural scream is ripped from her throat, piercing even her own ears.

She thrashes her back arching off the floor, her legs uselessly kicking under her, but nothing stops the incomparable pain that’s scorching her shoulder.

“Lena,” she scrabbles at the warm body beside her. “It hurts. Stop. Hurts so bad.” Her jaw is clenched so tight her teeth are almost ground to dust, but it does nothing to still the tremble of her lower lip as tears bleed from her eyes, spilling, one first, and then all at once. “Help me, please,” she begs, another cry cutting her off.

“I got you,” a familiar tenor sounds beside her ear. “You have to let me get it out, though. It’s going to hurt, okay?”

She shakes her head wildly, “No, no, no, it hurts too much, Lee. I feel like I’m going to die.”

“You’re not going to die,” Lena says firmly. “Look at me.”

The pain recedes for a moment, long enough for Kara to wrench open her tear-caked eyes. Her breath hitches when she sees the familiar green above her, soft, reassuring, tearful. “You’re going to be okay, Kara. It’s only going to hurt for a little more, but you have to be still. Can you do that for me?”

She nods, swallowing a wail when Lena’s fingers find their way inside her shoulder wound, trying to get a solid grip on the bullet, which  _ thank Rao _ , did not fragment when it struck bone.

Her hand scrabbles at the floor and her eyes roll back in her head, and it’s so much worse than kryptonite alone. “Lee, please, please, I can’t take anymore. Stop,” she sobs, and despite being almost completely drained of powers from kryptonite poisoning, her fingers still manage to crack the stone floor.

“I love you, Kara. Can you look at me? Yeah, just like that. I need you to be still, okay, darling? Bite your cape if you need something to bite down on. Yup. That’s good. Look at me. Right at me.”

Kara complies, wedging the indestructible fabric of her cape between her teeth, bracing herself.

“You ready?”

She nods, and almost immediately, fresh tears spring to her eyes as Lena reaches for the bullet once again.

She’s shaking and crying and fighting the urge not to writhe because it  _ hurts so bad _ and her fingers are white-knuckling the floor and it takes every ounce of strength not to grab on to Lena because she knows she’s going to hurt her and quite possibly break her.

And then, finally,  _ finally _ , the pain subsides and Lena’s holding a small, green pellet in her hands. She throws it across the room, as far as she can.

“You okay, darling?”

Kara slumps, exhausted, and nods, lips twitching into a smile when Lena kisses her tenderly.

They just lay there, Lena’s trembling hand cupping Kara’s cheek, the other one hanging at her side. It’s so silent she can hear the blood dripping off her fingers to start a new crimson puddle on the floor.

“Can you- erm, can you cauterize your own wound?”

“With heat vision?”

“Yeah. Can you? The bone’s a little messed up, but we’ll get it fixed as soon as we get out, okay?”

Kara manages to push herself into a sitting position and fire a short blast into the floor. “Ooh, yup! Dunno if I can do it for long, though. The kryptonite has weakened me.”

Lena slumps at that. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“But it’s my fault.”

“No, it’s not. It’s your brothers.”

“It’s my fault!” Lena explodes. “I literally came to Midvale with the sole intention of murdering you. And- and- how can you say it’s not my fault? I made the supercharged kryptonite, and then my brother somehow found out about us, and  _ goddammit _ , if I hadn’t come here, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“If you hadn’t come here, I never would’ve met you and fallen in love with you,” Kara says patiently. “I don’t regret anything.”

“I- what?” Lena stares at her incredulously. “I came here to kill you, shot you with a kryptonite bullet, and you’re  _ okay _ with it?”

“But you haven’t hurt me. You saved me.”

“If I hadn’t run away like that in the first place, Lex would’ve never found us!”

Kara gives her a pained smile. “He was bound to find us eventually.”

Lena chokes back a sob, pushing herself to her feet. “C’mon,” she says at last, “we need to cauterize that wound before anything gets in because the kryptonite poisoning sure as hell isn’t helping.”

Kara just nods, “I need a piece of metal. A mirror works too.”

Lena nods, rummaging around the virtually empty room. There’s files, stacks of papers, broken machines. 

She pulls out a small metal rod from a broken computer, handing it to Kara, who turns her heat vision on it for a few seconds.

“I can’t do it.” She sounds frustrated, willing beams of heat to shoot from her eyes, but she can’t sustain the heat long enough.

“Yes, you can,” Lena murmurs, looking Kara square in the eyes, which begin to glow orange once more. “Hold it, yea, just like that. Okay, go!”

Kara aims the beams of heat at the tip of the rod, gritting her teeth when the orange falters.

“Good! Yes, just like that!” Lena praises. “It’s going to hurt, but you need to press the red part of the metal to the wound. Just the damaged tissue.”

Kara clenches her jaw, pushing the metal onto the bullet hole.

She lets out a stifled yowl of pain, her entire body trembling.

“Just a little longer,” Lena encourages, holding the fabric out of place. Her fingers feel like they’re going to sear off with the proximity of the hot metal, but she doesn’t move, just kisses Kara’s cheek while she twitches, face taut with agony.

Kara gasps and drops the rod, and upon further inspection, to Lena’s relief, the wound is sealed. She rips a stripe from her shirt, tying it around Kara’s body so it secures her arm like a sling, immobilizing the injured arm.

“You did good,” she whispers, pulling the blonde in for a soft kiss. “We’re going to get out of here, okay?”

“How?”

She shrugs, “I dunno. But the world needs you, and if I need to, I’m going to die trying to help you out.”

“Lena…”

“What?”

She just shakes her head, closing her eyes before pushing herself to her feet. “We need to find a way out.”

Lena cranes her neck, looking up. The ceiling is high, so high the details are blurred, but there’s ventilation shafts, frosted windows near where the ceiling meets the walls. “Can you fly?”

She sighs, pointing to small lights on the walls that glow green. “Those emit the same wavelength as kryptonite. Not enough to hurt me, but enough to weaken me so I can’t use my strength, speed, or fly. They work like power dampeners, except the suck a lot more. The same ones they had at the DEO desert facility…”

“Oh. Can you destroy them?”

Kara shakes her head. “My heat vision isn’t enough to vaporize kryptonite and liquid kryptonite hurts just as much as solid kryptonite. Actually, I have something. Uhm,” she mutters, using her right arm to reach into a hidden pocket. “A yellow sun grenade. It’s broken, obviously. Lex unknowingly damaged it beating me up.”

Lena reaches for it, slim fingers gripping the small metal canister. “How does it work?”

The Kryptonian shrugs, “I suppose it works like a flash grenade or something like that. But if you could fix it…”

The Luthor eyes it, fingers running over the dent. “Maybe,” she says, at last, heading over to the broken machines. 

For a few minutes, they search for tools, anything that can pry the thing open, but Lex must’ve made sure to remove anything that could be of any use to them.

“Hey, can you get my DEO tracker back online? Lex disabled it somehow.”

“Of course,” Lena murmurs, heading over to the blonde. “Where is it?”

“In my suit. Right there.” She points to it.

The dark-haired woman carefully extracts it from the fabric, frowning at it. “I’m going to need to hook it up to something. You go find something we can use to repair your sun grenade, and I’ll go get this back online.”

“Okay!”

Before long, there’s a stutter in the rhythmic click of Kara’s boots, and Lena turns around to see the blonde holding herself up on a table.

“Kara?”

She blinks, pushing herself up. “Just tired,” she mumbles, fingers gripping the wooden surface.

“You should rest.”

“No. We have to get out!”

“And we can’t get out if you’re dead on your feet,” Lena says patiently. “Darling, just go lie down for a minute, and I’ll wake you up after a few hours, mkay?”

Kara looks like she’s going to protest, but a yawn cuts her off. “Mhm, yeah, okay,” she says, lowering herself to the floor.

Lena smiles to herself, feeling warmth bloom in her chest.  _ She’s adorable. _

***

Kara wakes up to strength flooding into her bones. Warmth, a warm, comforting heat that almost rivals the fuzziness Lena’s hugs and kisses give her.

She’s already floating before the snap of the metal canister finishes echoing through the room, everything suddenly illuminated by a blinding yellow-orange light.

“Lena?” she gasps, all drowsiness gone.

The Luthor pushes herself up from where the shock had thrown her to the floor. “I’m alright,” she calls. “The thing just exploded.”

Kara grins, “Well, it worked. Are we getting out of here or not?” She lowers herself to the ground; her shoulder barely even hurts anymore. 

“Can you carry me?”

“I feel like I can lift the whole world,” she breathes, picking up Lena with one arm around her waist. Lena’s arms go around her neck, and a warmth creeps into her cheeks at the close contact. “But you are my whole world, so I suppose that’s true.”

Lena giggled, burying her face in the super’s neck. “Stop,” she drags out the vowel. “You’re going to make me cry. Can you fly up? Get to the windows? You should be able to break through them.”

Kara nods, slowly flying them up to the window. She can feel her burst of strength slowly ebbing already, so she increases her pace a little, setting Lena down on the windowsill.

“Punch it.”

“Gladly.” She floats back a few feet and charges at it fist first, the thick glass cracking under the force.

She hits it again, and the cracks lengthen just a bit. Her fist strikes again and again, but the glass doesn’t shatter, and the seventh time, she wobbles and almost tumbles off the little ledge they’re sitting on.

“Kara!”

“I’m okay,” she wheezes, slumping against the window. “It’s too thick. And the yellow sun radiation is gone.”

“Oh. Can I try?”

“You’re going to break your fist.”

She sighs in frustration, carefully readjusting herself so she doesn’t fall forty feet down. “There has to be  _ something _ we can do.”

Kara slams her elbow against the broken glass, and the window shatters.

The superhero is knocked off the ledge as a green blur flies in, and she yelps as she plummets.

“Kara,” Lena gasps in horror, scooting closer to the glass even if shards are digging into her arms.

“I got her,” J’onn’s voice grunts from beside her, and he dives, catching her before she hits the ground.

Her heart pounds in her throat as the Martian catches the falling girl, steadily bringing her up. The woman looks pained, her fist already swollen, knuckles bruised.

“Thank you,” she croaks to J’onn as he sets them both on solid ground outside the building.

It’s nighttime, and the cool air on her skin is a relief. The stars twinkle brightly above, and the Kryptonian lifts her head into the general direction of the Andromeda galaxy and utters a silent prayer.

“We made it,” Lena breathes once the Martian steps back, rushing forward to envelop Kara in a gentle hug. “I told you we would.”

“Yeah.” The Kryptonian looks overjoyed, shooting her alien friend a grateful look. “We did, You got the tracker back online, didn’t you?.”

She nods proudly, pressing a kiss to Kara’s cheek.

People dressed completely in black run over, and Kara’s immediately swept up in a hug by a woman with short hair, Director Danvers, Lena recognizes her as.

“K-” She catches sight of Lena and hastily steps back. “Supergirl. Are you okay?”

She nods vigorously, embracing her sister, whose tears glimmer in the starlight. “I’m fine, Alex. And Lena knows.”

Lena feels something twinge in her gut. Lex and she were like this once.

The DEO director narrows her eyes at the Luthor. “Lena  _ Luthor _ ?”

She raises both her hands when guns are pointed at her by the other members of the strike team, slowly backing away. “I, uh…”

“No, stop!” Kara jumps in front of her, her legs firmly apart in a protective stance. “She’s a friend. She’s not like her brother!”

Lena meets the cerulean blue eyes, and she sees something warm glimmering in them. Her lips are also twisted in a slight apology, but she just nods in understanding.

The weapons are slowly lowered, but she doesn’t miss the wary looks she gets from the agents as they load her onto a plane.

Lena tries her best to ignore the glares from Alex and the rest of the DEO, especially when Kara intertwines their fingers.

They arrive at the DEO about half an hour later, and by then, Kara is asleep, head rested comfortably on Lena’s good shoulder, snoring softly.

“We gotta get you two to the medbay, stat.”

She just nods wearily and allows herself to be lead to the room on trembling legs.

Kara is placed under yellow sun lamps, and her suit is rapidly pulled off to examine her shoulder wound.

Lena looks away, her cheeks suddenly blazing.

A doctor comes in and takes a look at her, giving her a sling for her arm. She passes out under the warm lights, sleep enveloping her easily.

***

When Lena wakes up, she’s grateful they give her a few minutes before they start hurling accusing questions at her.

“Lena’s innocent,” Kara insists, throwing a pleading look at her sister.

“Look,” Alex sighs, “we have safety protocols, so excuse me for trying to keep us safe.”

The Kryptonian frowns, giving Lena an apologetic frown.

“No, it’s okay,” she says quietly, allowing herself to be taken into a room for interrogation. Kara insists on tagging along.

“Tell us what happened,” Alex demands once they sit down, the cold metal of the table and chair chilling Lena all the way to her bone.

“We got kidnapped by my brother, who used kryptonite on her and then tried to kill her,” Lena whispers. “Well, not really. I shot her.”

“You  _ what _ ?” The woman stands up, eyes flaring as she slams her palms on the table.

“Alex,” Kara begs. “Just listen.”

Lena winces. “I, uh, so Lex gave me the choice to shoot her or else he would, and he said he’d leave us alone. He gave me a gun loaded with a kryptonite bullet and made me shoot her. I hit her in the shoulder. Lex would’ve killed her otherwise.” She nods to the sling supporting Kara’s left arm. They had used red sun lamps and a little bit of kryptonite to be able to fix the bone.

Alex is silent then, burying her face in her hands.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What happened before the two of you were kidnapped?”

Lena swallows the guilt pulsing in her throat. “We, uh, we were in Midvale, where Kara was. At Eliza’s house, actually. Uhm, I ran out, and Supergirl chased me, but Lex got to me first. Kara… he used kryptonite on her.”

“And why were you in Midvale?”

“Alex,” Kara mumbles, “why are you asking her this?”

“We need to know her true intentions.”

The Kryptonian looks at her adoptive sister incredulously, “She saved me! She- she put the tracker back online. Otherwise, J’onn wouldn’t have broken us out. And before, Lex would’ve killed us!”

Alex shakes her head. “Lena, why were you in Midvale?”

“I…” Kara gives her a pleading look. “I was looking for Supergirl.”

“And how did you know she was there?”

“I… I, well, I planted a tracker on her suit. It fell off soon after she got there, probably from flying.”

The director’s eyes narrow. “Then let me ask you again: why did you go to Midvale?”

“Alex, she just wanted to get in touch with Supergirl!”

The protest falls on deaf ears. “Lena?”

“I, I’m sorry, Kara,” she says softly, and the Kryptonian slaps a fist to her mouth as a sob bursts out.

“So…”

“Lex ordered me to kill her.”

“Keep talking.” Alex’s voice is low, threatening, and she can see her hand slowly fall to her gun holster.

“I- I,” Lena swallows, inhaling raggedly. “I was working for Lex. He- he told me that the Kryptonians were bad, and he said that to prove my loyalty to him, I had to kill Supergirl,” she whispers. Kara’s soft cries slowly tear her heart apart, but she grips the table harder and continues. “I tracked her to Midvale. And then- and then I found out it was Kara, who I fe-, who I befriended, and I couldn’t do it. I realized that the aliens aren’t bad… just a bit too late. But Lex found us, and took us… there.”

Without a word, she’s yanked to her feet, and cuffs are snapped around her wrist. She stumbles off the chair at the rough tug.

“She saved me,” Kara urges tearfully, standing up, “She’s not bad!”

“She tried to kill you,” Alex says through gritted teeth, and Lena has no choice to swallow a sob and stumble after the director, her bad leg beginning to ache at the fast pace.

She’s quickly shoved into a cell, cuffs removed. The door slams in her face, and Alex just glares at her. “We’ll be getting J’onn here in the morning, and then maybe we’ll decide your fate,” she snarls.

“Alex,” Kara cries, hands pressed against the glass. “Don’t do this!”

Lena gives her a rueful smile, “It’s okay, darling. She’s right.”

“Just let me go in and talk to her!”

“Kara, she’s dangerous. She’s a  _ Luthor _ .”

Kara turns on her sister then, eyes flashing. “She’s not like them! She’s not like her brother! She-” A sob bursts from her throat, and tears spill rapidly from her eyes. “She’s my friend! And I love her, and you can’t do this to her!”

Alex frowns, jaw clenched. 

“Please?” Kara pleads, and her voice is so broken, so small, Lena’s heart crumbles.

“You have two minutes.”

With that, the director opens the door, glaring at Lena the whole time.

“In private?”

Alex stalks away, but there’s no doubt she’s using the security camera, which flashes periodically in the corner.

“I’m so sorry, Lena,” the Kryptonian gasps, wrapping the Luthor in a hug, nose buried in her shoulder.

“No,  _ I’m _ sorry,” she says gently. “It’s my fault. I did go with the intention to hurt you. Alex is right. You shouldn’t be around me.”

“Lee, how can you  _ say that _ ?” Kara pulls back, gazing at Lena. “You saved me. You’re good.”

She shakes her head sorrowfully. “I’m not. As Director Danvers said, I’m a Luthor.”

“Your last name doesn’t mean anything!”

“It means I’m evil, Kara. It means I’m a bad person from a bad family. A killer.”

“One minute,” the tinny voice sounds through the speaker, and Kara cries harder, chest convulsing as she’s racked with sobs.

She just hurls herself at Lena, kissing her messily, roughly, more teeth and tongue than anything. It’s frantic and desperate borderline hysterical, but it softens to something more tender, passionate, loving.

The cell door is flung open, and Kara is dragged out by an unrelenting fist, but not before she gasps out, “I love you.”

The door slams shut with a hiss, and Alex stands there, livid with rage.

“What the hell was that, Kara?”

“I’m in love with her, okay? I love her. And you can’t do this to her. I’d be  _ dead _ without her.”

“Without her, you would be on vacation in Midvale, happy!” Alex almost screams.

Kara shakes her head. “No, without her, I’m nothing, okay? You can’t take her away from me, not like this! She’s good, Alex. Why can’t you see that?” 

She sobs, tears openly streaking down her flushed cheeks. She walks back to the glass separating them, pressing both hands against it. “I love you, Lena. Hold on, okay? I’m going to prove to them you’re innocent, and then we’ll get you out of here.”

Alex growls, wrapping a hand around Kara’s bicep to pull her away, but she doesn’t budge.

“Lena, hold on, okay? I love you.”

Lena closes her eyes as a single tear makes its way down her cheek, shaking her head. “What if she’s right?” she murmurs. “What if she’s right, Kara? What if I’m bad? What if I’m evil? You can’t be around me. You’re not safe. I could hurt you, or worse, kill you. You- you don’t know what I’m capable of. You have to get away from me, please. For your own safety. Listen to your sister.”

“No!” Kara shouts, eyes blazing passionately. “You’re not a villain, okay? And I’m not going to treat you like one. You’re good and kind and smart and, gosh Lee, you’re mean everything to me. You’re my best friend and the woman I love, and my whole  _ goddamn world _ , and I’m never letting you go.”

“Maybe it’s for the best.” Even if it’s barely whispered, her voice breaks halfway.

“I’d wait for you forever,” Kara says fiercely, firmly. “I’ll wait for you for the rest of my life.”

“Kara,” Alex tugs at her arm, a warning in her voice.

“I’m coming back for you,” Kara promises determinedly. “Because that’s what people do for the people they love. I love you, Lena. Don’t forget that.”

“I love you, too,” she says brokenly, and her voice cracks.

She looks at her palms, face up on her lap, her own sobs echoing around the small space she’s enclosed in.

She doesn’t watch Kara reluctantly let herself get dragged away, just slumps against the wall and brings her knees into her chest.

Lena’s never hated herself more.

***

“Kara, what the hell?” Alex closes her eyes, pacing a small circle next to her sister’s bed. 

“What?” she asks petulantly. 

“That’s Lena  _ Luthor _ .”

“So?” Kara crosses her arms stubbornly, ignoring the twinge of pain in her left shoulder.

“She’s a Luthor. How can you- you trust her?”

“She’s not her brother, Alex! How can you say that?”

“Because she could’ve killed you,” her older sister sighs, slumping in a chair. “She would’ve killed you if you hadn’t found her as Kara first.”

“But she didn’t!”

“That’s not the point, Kara!”

“I don’t care!” Kara shouts at her sister, her fingers curled into trembling fists to stop herself from destroying something. “I love Lena, okay? And you can’t stop me.”

“Kara, I’m just worried for you, okay?”

“You don’t have to be! She hasn’t done anything wrong! Sure, her intentions sucked, but then she changed! She only shot me because if Lex did, he would’ve killed me!”

“She’s the reason Lex found you guys,” Alex spits, standing up. “Look, I’m going home for the night. Maybe rethink your choices and listen to your  _ girlfriend _ , who is saying the same things I am. We don’t know if we can trust her.”

“Alex. Don’t make her stay the night in a cell.”

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Kara. Just… go home… and no superheroing duties until the kryptonite is completely out of your system.”

She just stares wordlessly after her sister, eyes fixed on the retreating form.

Kara crumples to the ground and cries.

***

She sneaks into Lena’s cell when her tears finally dry, after hours of sitting on the floor.

The security cameras are on, and she’ll immediately be caught if she sneaks Lena out, so she goes in.

The glass door unseals with a soft hiss and she steps inside, shutting the cell door behind her.

The Luthor shifts uncomfortably on the bench, blinking at Kara.

“Lena,” she chokes out, falling to her knees to kiss her forehead softly. “I’m here.”

“Kara, what are you doing here?” Lena croaks, eyes fluttering shut as the Kryptonian pulls her into a gentle embrace.

“I needed to see you.”

“Alex is going to kill you.”

“I don’t care,” she mutters. “She’s not acting like my sister right now.”

“That’s because she’s the director of the DEO, darling,” Lena whispers. “She’s responsible for everyone, and if I hurt you, that’s on her.”

“But you’re not going to hurt me!”

“What if I do?”

“Lena.” Her voice cracks. “Don’t say that.”

She shrugs listlessly. “Why not? I’ve already hurt you.”

“No,” Kara insists, “You saved me.”

“You wouldn’t have needed saving if it weren’t for me.”

“Lex would’ve found me eventually. I had to go back to National City at some point.”

“Kara, I’m dangerous. It’s not safe for you to be around me. Your sister is right,” Lena says, exhausted. “Please. Before you get hurt. You should go.”

“I’m not leaving you, Lee,” Kara says stubbornly, followed with a kiss so gentle Lena’s eyelids flutter and she sighs.

“Kara…”

“Please? Can we just… start over? Pretend none of this happened? You’re not a bad person, Lee. You believed what you were doing was right because Lex manipulated you. I’ve seen your work at LuthorCorp. You’ve done so much for the world in terms of your inventions and discoveries.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“It’s everything to  _ me _ . Lena, stop discrediting yourself! You thought you were doing the right thing. You know better now. You can’t keep calling someone a bad person because of a mistake they made in the past. People change, and grow, and get better, and it’s all a part of life. So please, Lee, let me have this. Let  _ us _ have this.”

Lena hesitates, eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I- I don’t know.” Her voice breaks as her breath hitches. 

Kara catches the first tear with the pad of her thumb. “We’re going to be okay. We just need to get you out of this, and I know J’onn. I can persuade him that you’re innocent.”

“What if I… I dunno, go to prison?”

“You’re not going to! If everyone who had the urge to kill someone and never acted on it went to prison, there’d be more people there than out here!”

The Luthor is silent.

“Please?” Kara whispers, watery eyes wide and pleading.

Lena exhales slowly, a long, conceding sigh that lets Kara know she’s won. “Okay. So what now?”

Kara shoots out one arm. “I’m Kara Zor-El. I’m also Kara Danvers and Supergirl, but I think I’d like it if you called me darling… and your girlfriend.” She grins cheekily at Lena’s disbelieving chuckle.

Lena looks at Kara’s outstretched hand, the ghost of a smile twitching on her lips. “Okay. I’m Lena Kieran Luthor. My brother just so happens to be the guy who wants to kill you and your cousin, but I promise I’ll protect you. I, uh, I’d love to call you my girlfriend, darling.”

Kara grins impossibly wider when the dark-haired woman slips her hand in hers and shakes it gently. “I love you,” she breathes.

“I love you, too, darling,” she murmurs back.

“And now you kiss me,” Kara declares.

“Gladly,” she husks, and then kisses her  _ girlfriend _ .

It’s a little awkward because Lena is sitting on the bench and Kara is kneeling on the floor, but the Kryptonian just giggles and flats up, so she’s on Lena’s lap, lips never losing contact.

They kiss fervently until their eyelids droop and their soft kisses are punctuated by a long yawn.

“Hold me?” Lena asks shyly, head falling against Kara’s neck.

“Of course.” Kara shifts them so they’re laying on the narrow bench, throwing her cape over her girlfriend.

“Uhm, are we flying?”

“The bench is tiny,” Kara grumbles. “But you trust me, right?”

“Yeah,” Lena says simply, snuggling deeper into Kara’s arms, the weight of the cape draped over her shoulders comforting. “You’re my hero.”

Kara laughs softly. “But you were the one who saved me.  _ My _ hero.  _.khuhtiv zygai _ ,” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to Lena’s hairline.

“That Kryptonian?”

“Mhm hm.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Goodnight, beautiful.”

Lena allows herself a grin, buried in Kara’s neck. “Goodnight.”

“Alex is going to kill me tomorrow.”

“You’re pretty stupid for loving me, darling.”

Kara huffs. “It’s the smartest decision I’ve ever made. You’ll see.”

Lena just makes a small noise of acknowledgment and lets herself drift off, that stubborn smile stuck to her face.

She’s never felt so  _ whole _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **kryptonian phrase of the day!** (forgot yesterday's, but it's there now)
> 
>  _/zha-:divil ehlo w dovrrosh zhabah/_  
>  (i think i needed this little reminder tonight... hope everyone is doing better than i am)  
> 
> 
> **answer for yesterday's:**
> 
> /.kaopaiodh rraos iahzrhimahzh rraop/ = remember why you started.
> 
> /kao/= imperative marker  
> /paiodh/= remember  
> /rraos/= why  
> /rraop/= you  
> /iahzrhimahzh/= started  
> (no, i can't pronounce any of the words btw... should probably learn how though)
> 
> I'm sorry ahaha the tie to this prompt is nonexistent... but 7.9K VIEWS THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH I LOVE YOU <3


	31. but eclipses still do happen, don’t they?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 31: Spooky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all, i am so so so so so so so so so sorry for the wait
> 
> this was supposed to be done on October 31, and I'm 2 months late on December 31
> 
> i was told in a comment i could publish this next year, and it'd be fine, but i really really didn't want to, but dammit it's 12:04 am in the earliest time zone right now.
> 
> so basically, i failed supercorptober (obviously), but i finished it, maybe not in time, but maybe that should count for something. this last chapter is 12.5k words because i gave up on it. half of it is incoherent and doesn't make sense and the ending is just all super rushed and it's 2 am and i really don't want to edit right now :/
> 
> this is only going up in 2020 because someone dmed me on wattpad, asking if i'm okay. it means the world to me that people actually care. so thanku, wattpaddian, for that burst of motivation and the reminder that i had to do this.
> 
> like... if you want to know why exactly it's so bad... i haven't read this. the words are out, i ran it through Grammarly, and i have not read it because i can't stand to read my own writing. half the dialogue is stolen from the episode "for the girl who has everything," the original black mercy episode, which doesn't make sense, since it is mentioned in this fic. this was also inspired by seariding's black mercy au, which this will never match up to, especially seeing half the concepts are basically stolen. and no, i have not edited this, and no, i don't have a beta reader. the last time someone read this, it had 10k words rather than the 12k it has now. and no, i will not fix it because am so done with this :)
> 
> a friend told me pacing is key in month-long events such as this one, and if you look at the word count, i quite obviously failed to do that... i worked myself into exhaustion and i have finals in two weeks and a part of me is glad I'm pretty much used to three to four hours of sleep at this point
> 
> all that said... here's day 31
> 
> happy new year :)

The first thing Kara notices when she comes to is that she’s warm.

She’s burrowed under her covers, yes, but there’s a warm expanse of skin pressed against her back, so soft she wiggles against it just to feel the skin slide against her own.

She sighs in contentment.

_Wait._

She’s naked.

Her heart stops in her chest, before it resumes faster than ever, smacking against her ribcage so hard she’s surprised it doesn’t burst out and splatter on the floor right there.

Slowly and carefully, she extracts herself from the arm lazily slung across her hips, her entire being _aching_ the moment she loses contact with the warm body behind her. She’s suddenly cold.

And then on fire as soon as she realizes who the equally dressed person behind her is.

Her breath hitches and a searing blush blooms in her cheeks, her heart clenching in her chest as _Lena_ ’s asleep form, cheek pressed against a pillow, raven hair ruffled, but still looking soft as it tumbles over her face and over her neck. 

It doesn’t fully obscure her flawless neck, however. The white skin is only marred by small freckles sprinkled sparingly throughout, as if an artist had decided to flick paint.

She doesn’t realize she’s halfway to crying until she’s blinking back tears, her chest tight.

_I… I don’t understand._

Kara tentatively reaches forward with one hand, brushing hair out of the woman’s face just to confirm that— yup, it’s Lena Luthor.

It takes her a bit longer to realize the room they’re in is completely alien to her, and she flings her head from side to side before it registers.

She’s in her childhood room.

Not in Midvale.

On _Krypton_.

She gasps, and the sound appears to wake Lena because the beautiful woman stirs, a soft murmur sighed from her lips as she shifts in the sheets.

“Kara?” Lena’s voice is raspy with sleep, but it brings back memories of _better times_ , times when Lena didn’t hate her. But… now?

“I’m here,” she whispers tentatively, wondering what exactly she’s forgetting.

“Come back,” Lena mumbles sleepily, pressing her face deeper into the pillow. “S’cold without you.”

The Kryptonian sits back onto the bed, suddenly aware she’s completely nude again, and red creeps up her neck all the way to the tips of her ears.

“Lay down.”

She hesitates, watching the slender hand grope blindly for Kara’s. The Luthor sighs in contentment when she finds Kara’s interlacing their fingers.

“Lena? What’s going on? Where are we?”

Lena opens her eyes at that, and her breath catches when she’s met by a startling green, so, so familiar, laced with a softness she hasn’t seen in months. Her brows furrow slightly and the corner of her mouth twitches into a frown so adorable, Kara can’t do anything except blink dumbly.

“We’re in Argo, darling. What’s wrong?” She says it with such care Kara’s hand flies to her mouth, eyes brimming with tears. 

“A-argo City?”

“Yes, love. Where else would we be?”

“B-but Krypton exploded.”

“No, it didn’t, silly,” Lena chuckles lowly and Kara’s heart does another somersault. “Not exactly. Your dad made a fail-safe, remember? It preserved Argo City. Clark and Lois came here to have baby Jonathan. We’re here because, well,” the woman’s voice is so awed and joyful Kara lets her lips twitch into a fond smile, “Krypton has the technology to make us parents again. Biological parents.”

“Wait,” she gasps, shaking her head. “I’m- I’m not sure I’m following. Fail-safe? Clark- like Superman? How do you know his name? Are you mad at me? Why don’t you hate me? Parents? Wait, _again_? Lena- what-”

“Darling.” Lena squeezes her hand gently. “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Of- of course I know Clark is Superman. You told me, remember? Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because I took three years to tell you I’m Supergirl, remember?” Her voice cracks as she says it, her chest aching so hard, she chokes on a sob.

“Hey, hey, Kara,” Lena soothes, but her eyes are worried. “That was six years ago, darling. Don’t tell me you forgot? Is this a prank?”

“N-no,” she stumbles, blinking quickly. “I’m- I’m d-dreaming. Yes! That must be it. Because- no, there’s no way I would’ve forgotten something so- so important. I- I need to wake up. I- I can’t lose you again. Please- please don’t-” Kara stumbles on her words, tears spilling down her cheeks. “This isn’t real,” she whispers to herself, arms wrapping around her own torso. “This isn’t real, this isn’t real. I- I need to wake up.”

Her hand seems to turn to ice the minute it’s removed from Lena’s, but she keeps it tucked between her arm and her body, her naked body. She pinches herself, but she only feels a twinge of pain..

She stumbles to the window, peering through the blinds, but she finds that she has to pull it to the side to see through. “I- I don’t have my powers. This simulation has me under, I dunno, red sun lamps, but it’s mimicking Krypton’s sun. Someone- someone’s using my memories against me.”

“Kara, darling,” Lena says so softly, so caring, that Kara freezes. Another wave of tears spills from the ocean pulsing behind her eyes. “C’mere.”

She finds herself drawn to Lena, but she stutters a broken, “This can’t be real,” as Lena’s hand smoothes over her cheekbone, wiping away the tears.

“It is real, love. I promise.”

“No- I don’t remember- how could I not remember- I still have nightmares of that day. The day you left me in the Fortress. I- I still wake up screaming because you- you used kryptonite on me.”

An image of Lena flashes in her mind. Bundled up in a dark coat, hair tied back in a ponytail, gripping Myriad in one hand. Screaming. Sobbing. Looking at Kara with such contempt and disdain even the kryptonite feels like nothing compared to that.

She’s cut off when the ground trembles under her feet, and her heart drops into her stomach. “Lee,” she gasps. “What was that?”

“It’s nothing,” the Luthor murmurs, softly tugging Kara so that she’s sitting on the mattress. “They can deal with it.”

“Who’s th…” she trails off when Lena pushes herself groggily to a sitting position, the blanket pooling around her waist.

Her eyes fall down, down, _down_ , flickering over the expanse of milky skin, speckled with freckles that Kara suddenly has the urge to kiss.

Lena yawns, her head tipped back as her jaws part. A tangled river of black tumbles down her back, exposing the perfection that is Lena’s neck and jawline. Her back arches, and Kara’s eyes drop and _get stuck_ over her chest, her very naked chest that Kara can’t stop ogling at the moment.

“I-” she stammers for a response because everything _down there_ clenches, and her mouth goes dry at the sight. Lena’s mouth closes and her eyes flutter open, soft and warm until they see Kara’s expression, and then they darken, green making way for black and _blazing_ with heat.

“O-oh,” Kara stutters, feeling like the breath has been knocked from her lungs. She’s suddenly struggling to draw in a breath.

Lena beckons her with a single finger, lips twitching as if fighting a smirk.

She finds herself shuffling forward, unable to pull away as if there’s a magnet in her chest, tugging her toward her other half so they can finally fit together.

When their lips finally meet, all doubt vanishes from Kara’s mind faster than she can fly. 

“I love you,” Lena murmurs, delicately, against her lips, and then against her carotid pulse, moments before she sinks her teeth into Kara’s collarbone.

She’s already straddling the other woman, and her hips buck forward, her head thrown back, eyes closed and jaws parted in as the feeling of pure ecstasy just rushes through her..

“Lena,” she gasps, feeling the Luthor’s lips pull into a smirk against her skin. Her hips jerk reflexively, chasing friction, chasing pleasure, chasing love.

 _This is real,_ her heart sings happily. _This is real, and Lena loves me._

***

Sometime in the next few hours, there’s a fuzzy memory of Krypton that she feels like has come back to her, and she sighs in contentment and relief as Lena presses a tiny kiss to her forehead.

“C’mon,” she murmurs, “We should get up. We’re having lunch with your parents, remember?”

Kara nods, her heart jumping. _My parents?_ _Oh right, Argo._

She gets up and finds herself blissfully sore, and now that they’re on part of Krypton, her skin is vulnerable, meaning… 

Lena’s eyes flicker to her neck, alight with amusement, “I’ll never get over the fact I can leave a mark on you here,” she husks, and Kara flushes, running a hand through the rats’ nest her hair is almost self-consciously. “I sort of want to stay, but,” she clicks her tongue, “Earth needs you.”

“Earth needs you, too, baby,” she says, and the term of endearment flows off her tongue so naturally, it makes her heart swell. 

The dark-haired woman laughs softly, and the sound is so beautiful Kara just can’t help but stare in amazement. Lena walks around the side of the bed to kiss her softly, her thumb stroking softly across her chin like she does right before she kisses her— and although she has no memory of other kisses, she just _knows_ because she’s watched Lena kiss James (with envy) long enough to notice _everything_.

“I love you,” Kara breaths, loving how it’s so easy to say it, how there’s not a trace of resentment in Lena’s eyes; they only soften and light up like she’s _happy_.

She’s never wanted anything more to have this.

The lack of memories from the last six years troubles her a little bit, but the fact that Argo exists isn’t that jarring anymore; she just feels like Lena mentioning it had reopened that memory. Now, she just needs to get the rest back.

“I love you, too,” Lena says so easily Kara’s breath hitches, and she searches Lena’s eyes, her tone for _anything_ resembling disdain or betrayal. There’s nothing, just pure love and joy, and as much as Kara’s soul lights up at that, it feels _weird_.

She just shakes her head to clear it, letting the infectious joy seep into her. “I thank Rao every day for you,” she says softly, taking Lena’s hand. “Let’s shower and get dressed.”

They take their time in the shower, Lena’s hand warm and soft on her skin, spreading the tiny bubbles everywhere. Kara grins and pokes a few bubbles that are gently blown into the air, laughing unrestrainedly. At one point, Kara finds herself pinned to the wall, the tile cool against her back, dizzying kiss after kiss pressed to her lips until the hands that slowly creep lower are batted away with a chuckle.

“We don’t have time.” Kara giggles breathlessly, giving Lena a final kiss before she wrings the water out of her dark blonde hair and steps out, inhaling the steam in the bathroom. She looks at herself in the mirror, admiring the tech that keeps it from fogging up; they have those mirrors on Earth, but she’s never owned one.

Her blue eyes glint with joy, but uncertainty still glimmers underneath. She still needs to figure out the problem with her memory.

“Darling, you okay?”

Kara blinks at Lena, losing herself in pale green eyes momentarily. “More than okay,” she promises dazedly, feeling the apprehension in her chest lift when Lena smiles, one of those rare, genuine smiles that make the corners of her eyes crinkle. “Perfect.”

“You’re perfect, love,” Lena whispers, and the unbridled _love_ in her eyes makes a sob well up in her throat so fast she’s not able to swallow it in time. It comes out like a strangled laugh.

They slip on clothes, and Kara blushes her way through putting far too much concealer on a hickey because— _oh right, I can get that here_. 

“Let’s go,” Lena says when they finish, holding out her hand.

When they step out into the sunlight— Kara notices that it has a faint red tinge that’s barely noticeable; there’s definitely something in here simulating the red sunlight of Rao. Well, of course there is. The small rock that is Argo City is barrelling through space without anything to slow it down or orbit. Thankfully for them, it’s shooting _closer_ to Earth.

Kara’s not even sure why she knows that, but she grins, knowing some of her memory is coming back. She had probably just had to readjust to Krypton and its gravity.

She frowns. “Hey, Lena?”

“Yeah?”

“How come the gravity here doesn’t affect you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” she fumbles for words uneasily. “Krypton’s gravity was a lot stronger than Earth’s. I assume Argo has artificial gravity. But that also means you’re a lot heavier here.”

“Oh, please,” Lena says. “I’ve had enough practice walking in heels for a little extra gravity to trip me up.”

“But… but won’t your heart inflame? Because, well, if your heart is used to Earth’s gravity, then it’d have trouble beating where everything is compressing you a lot more.”

Lena just shrugs, turning to give Kara a dizzying kiss that makes her stumble and forget what she was saying. “It’s Argo. Science is far more advanced and technology is much better here.”

Kara blinks dazedly, tightening her grip on Lena’s hand. The doubt is back, swirling in her stomach, but it’s too easy to ignore it when her fingers are intertwined with Lena’s.

A gentle arm is wrapped around her waist, she sighs. A tremor runs through the ground, but Lena’s fingers splayed on her hips are too warm and distracting for her to point it out.

“Have a fun night?” a man says, and Kara’s head snaps up to see Kal-El.

“Kal!” she yelps happily, extracting herself from Lena’s grip to wrap him in a hug. “How’s Lois?”

“Kara, you saw her yesterday.”

“Oh. Right!” She looks beyond Kal to see a woman and two kids running up, one maybe around seven, and the other about three. She’s struck by how much the boy looks like a younger Kal.

“Jonathan!” The name springs to her lips, and she drops to her knees to embrace him. He giggles, wiggling out of her hug.

“ _Ehrosh :bem eh aiahv ,kahrah,_ [Hello, Aunt Kara]” the little boy exclaims with an adorable wave, and Kara freezes at the Kryptonian. The accent is completely Kandorian, broken only by the lisp of a young child. She hasn’t heard anyone speak like that since… 

She swallows, tears welling up, but there’s no time to say something because the tiny girl hurls herself into Kara’s arms nuzzling her nose into her neck.

“ _Ehrosh :bem eh ,ieiu,_ [Hello, Mom]” the little girl giggles, and her resolve just shatters right there. She bursts into tears, choking out an embarrassingly loud sob. She just buries her face in the little girl’s shoulder, a hand stroking jet-black hair that feels like Lena’s under her fingers, just thinner.

“Oh my God, hello, _iste_ [my baby (little one)],” she whispers, and Kal looks a little worried.

“Kara, what- _tanahn rrehd jolum_? [What’s wrong?] Wait, are we speaking English with Lori now?”

 _Lori_. The name strikes her in the chest, and she lets out a shuddering breath.

“English?” she stammers out.

He frowns. “Yes. Remember how you said you didn’t want to speak English to them until a certain age so their _kryptahniuo_ didn’t have an accent?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

Kara turns when she feels a warm hand on her shoulder.

“You okay, _:zhaote_ [my love]?”

She closes her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. She has to fight back another sob because well, _Rao, she’s refering to me as family rather than just a girlfriend or wife- oh Rao._ It’s stupid, but gosh, she can’t stop the tears. “Yes. Of course. I’m just-” She gestures to her face, wiping the moisture away on her sleeves.

Lois finally approaches with a smile. “Hey, Kara.”

“Hi, Lois,” she sniffs. “Uhm, excuse me. I don’t know why I’m crying.”

The little girl still in her arms, Lori, finally bit steps back a little, patting Kara’s cheek with a tiny hand. “ _kaozha-owahshodh eh ,ieiu,_ [don’t cry, Mom],” she says earnestly.

 _Ieiu_ , she hears, _really_ hears for the first time. She bites her lip. _Mom_. This is her _daughter_. 

She just shifts her grip around Lori’s torso, heaving her upwards so she rests on her hip. It feels so natural, so easy, and she blinks against another onslaught of tears.

And then she looks into the young girl’s eyes, piercing blue eyes, the _zrhythrev ,ehl,_ [House of El] eyes, flecked with a hint of kryptonite green, almost as if Lena’s green had been dominant enough to show in the form of tiny flecks. Her chest swells, a feeling so overwhelming she sways on her feet, and for the first time in a while, she looks into her daughters eyes and feels _ukiem_. 

Family. Familial love. It’s familiarity, it’s a wholeness she doesn’t know she’s been craving until the hole is filled.

She holds Lori to her chest, kissing the toddler’s forehead gently. “ _.ukiemodh khuhp w rraop eh inahte_ [I love you, my daughter]” She hasn’t spoken it for so long she has to slow down to recall the correct way to pronounce the voiceless velar fricative or the trill.

And then her daughter reponds, so solemnly Kara has to force down a sob of happiness at the cuteness of this little being. “ _.ukiemodh vahdhah w rraop eh ,ieiu,_ ” _I love you, too, Mom._ Kara finds it hard to believe someone so _perfect_ exists. The fact that the _someone_ is her daughter makes her heart scream with joy. Well, other than Lena, of course.

“Hey, _kaozhatuvodh w khuhp im_ [don’t forget about me],” Lena steps forward, sandwiching Lori between them. The young girl switches over from Kara to Lena, chubby arms reaching out to wrap around her shoulder.

 _.ehrosh :bem eh ,mahmi,_ ” she giggles, pressing her face into Lena’s shoulder. 

“ _tagrhehshahzh w khuhp_ [missed me] _?_ ” Kara’s heart skips a beat before pounding in her throat. Lena knows _kryptahniuo_ as well. Almost flawlessly. She just kisses Lori on the temple and then Lena on the lips, feeling too overwhelmed to speak. 

All uncertainty seems to evaporate when Lori looks at Lena, blue eyes alight with joy. Lena gazes back tenderly, and this is it. This is her whole heart. Her everything. Her world.

“Kara!” 

She turns to see a man and a woman walking up to her— no, not just any man and woman. Her parents. Her biological parents.

“Mom? Dad?” she gasps.

“. _:zeht :bem_ [good morning].” Zor-El waves. “. _kaogahv khuhp skilorodh wenahte_ [let me see my granddaughter],” he says.

“, _khehthgr,_ [Grandpa]!” Lori squeals, wiggling until Lena puts him down, promptly running into her grandfathter’s open arms.

“ _.ehrosh :bem eh ,Lori,te_ [Hello, my Lori],” he says, pulling back to look at her. “ _tanahn rraop w :bem_ [Are you doing good]?”

She nods vigorously flashing a toothy grin that pretty much evaporates the puddle that Kara’s melted heart is. Alura, and oh— Astra is here, too— and they coo over her daughter.

And the _kryptahniuo_. It sounds so familiar but so alien she suddenly feels like she hasn’t been speaking it in a while. But she’s not sure why she feels that way. She’s spoken it constantly with Lena and Lori these past few years, right?

Kara dries her eyes with the back of her hand as they head to the restaurant, the smell of Kryptonian food prompting her stomach to growl.

Lena laughs, a soft giggle that makes her chest ache for no reason. “Even without your powers, you still have the appetite of a whale.”

“Hey,” she protests, swatting Lena with her free hand. Her other hand grips her daughter’s gently, the tiny fingers warm and a little sweaty in hers.

They sit down, but something strange catches Kara’s eye. Auburn hair. A woman stands, looking a little out of place, gazing around like she’s looking for something.

Her face makes something twitch in her chest because it’s so familiar. _Alex? No, Alex is on Earth._

It can’t be Alex. She just doesn’t look the same. The woman’s eyes lock with hers, wandering to her and Lena’s locked hands, and then to Lori. Her chest seems to deflate as if defeated, and when she looks at Kara again, the look in her eyes is one filled with… pity?

And then she disappears.

_What?_

Kara squints at the place not-Alex had been standing just a second earlier. People continue walking as if nothing had happened, so Kara just shakes her head, blinking quickly. She must have missed the woman walking away. 

“Kara, darling, you okay?”

She blinks quickly once more, returning her attention to her wife and the rest of her family. “Yeah, of course,” she says, tracing her thumb over Lena’s knuckles.

Everything is okay. More than okay.

***

Kara excuses herself to the bathroom. Her cheeks ache from smiling. She looks at herself in the mirror. She looks radiant, her eyes bright. 

“Oh, thank God I got you alone.”

She jumps whirling around to see a dark-haired woman.

“Who are you?”

The woman blinks, her pale green eyes filled with such pain Kara recoils. 

Green eyes.

“Lena?”

The eyes are the exact shade, but the sadness, the anguish in them seems so… foreign. She has the slight underbite, the sharp jawline, everything. But… there’s something _wrong_ about this woman. Her face is streaked with sweat, as if she had been running, and if Kara peers closely enough, she can see that her eyes are a little bloodshot as if she’s been crying.

The woman, Lena-but-not-really, slumps as if relieved, running a hand through her hair. “Alex told me I’d find you here. Just… Kara, listen to me, okay?”

She looks utterly exhausted, and when she looks up again, Kara can see an unfamiliar-but-not glint in her eyes, one of pain, of hurt, perhaps one of anger.

“You- you’re not my Lena,” she says.

“No,” Lena pleads. “Listen to me. This is-”

The door swings open and Lena, _her_ Lena is there, peeking her head in. “Darling, what’s taking so lo- who the hell are you?”

Lena, no, the doppelganger, ignores Lena-her-wife, gazing at Kara. “You have to get out of here. This is- it’s not real. You’ll be dead within the hour if you don’t reject the fantasy.”

“What are you- what?” Lena, _her_ Lena glares at the other one. “You’re using an image inducer. Reveal yourself.”

“I’m really your Lena, I promise,” she says pleadingly, eyes never leaving Kara’s.

“Why are you here?” Kara asks, uncertainty wavering in her voice.

“I’m here to take you home.”

Lena’s arm slips around her waist protectively, and she instinctively leans into it. “I _am_ home.”

The doppelganger looks so anguished, so helpless that Kara suddenly wants to take back what she said, even if she’s not sure what she said wrong.

“Kara, let’s go,” her Lena says firmly, guiding them out of the bathroom. The other Lena tries to follow, walking quickly after them. “Don’t follow us.”

“Kara, listen to me, please.”

“Leave,” Lena snarls, “if you don’t want to get hurt.”

“Baby-” She hears Lena, the second Lena’s breath hitch at the name.

“She’s an imposter.”

“No, I’m not. Kara, listen to me!”

“I think you should leave.”

Pain flares up in Lena’s eyes, her face crumpling as if she’s been hit. Kara averts her gaze, her heart thumping in her chest.

“I’m not going to hurt you, please.”

“Why would you make me leave? I’m happy here.” Kara steps closer to Lena, arm linked with hers tightly.

The imposter lets out a strangled sound at that, shaking her head. “If I could leave you here, if I could give you this life, I could. But you’re going to _die_ , _we’re_ going to die, Kara, so please. Listen to-”

In a flash, Lena, Other-Lena is on the floor with a thump, and Lena slowly pulling back her fist the only sign she hit her.

No one in the restaurant bats an eye.

“Lena.” Kara backs up in horror.

“She was going to hurt you, darling. I had to. C’mon, we need to take her in.”

Everything seems to pass in a blur. Lena’s there, kissing her soundly, reassuringly, and it helps quiet the storm in her head, even if it’s just a little bit.

Kara snaps back to reality when her mother’s voice rings out across the courtroom, commanding and final.

“The High Council has rendered our verdict on the imposter. We impose the maximum penalty. Banishment to the Phantom Zone.”

The Phantom Zone. She freezes.

“Kara,” Other-Lena says, backing away from the Kryptonian guards that approach her. “If you let them send me away, we’re going to die. We’re going to be stuck here until the Black Mercy kills us both.”

The words _black mercy_ sends a bolt of dread straight to her stomach. _Why do I know that name?_

“Don’t listen to her, love,” Lena, _her_ Lena murmurs, hot breath tickling her ear. Kara shivers, watching motionlessly as the other Lena is seized by the guards.

(This is the real Lena, right?)

“Why do you think she’s trying to silence you?” the imposter cries, grunting in pain when a knee is driven into her stomach. She gasps, thrashing against the guards that struggle to drag her to the platform.

“Once the imposter is gone, we’ll be happy, I promise. Just like before. Lori will be safe,” her wife says, hand slipping into hers reassuringly.

“They’re afraid of what I have to say!” she wheezes, letting out a sharp cry of pain as she’s forced to her knees.

“She’s lying, Kara,” Lena says from next to her. “Remember, we promised each other? No lying. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Kara remains frozen, eyes fixed on the woman on the floor, looking just like her Lena, face twisted in one of determination despite the agony in her eyes.

“Please,” she whispers. Kara doesn’t even need superhearing to hear the small crack in the plea. “I’m trying to remind you of the truth, Kara. Please. Why- why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me you wanted this?”

“Silence,” Zor-El growls, and Kara can see Lori, sitting next to her, covering her eyes.

“Life isn’t perfect, Kara,” Other-Lena says. “It isn’t. It’s always going to have cracks and sometimes it’s lonely. You and I, we can get hurt. But that- that doesn’t mean it’s not worth living! I’m sorry I hurt you, Kara.”

“I love you.” The Lena next to her kisses her on the cheek, and Kara sees something flash in the other Lena’s eyes. “I won’t hurt you. I promised, remember? We can’t hurt each other anymore.”

“No!” Other-Lena’s elbow strikes a guard in the gut, and she’s dropped for a second. She scrambles towards Kara, not before a hand strikes her in the face, pulling her closer to the Phantom Zone projector. “The people who love you can still hurt you. Life isn’t perfect. And sometimes, the people who love you the most are the people who end up hurting you the most.

“Remember Reign? And- and when you told me you were Supergirl? And then Myriad? Remember Leviathan? Crisis? What about Crisis? I know how hard it must’ve been to lose your world, all over again. But-” Lena drags in a breath, body twisting, feet kicking. “-we can’t escape pain. That’s not how it works. This isn’t real, Kara. And you know it isn’t. Deep down, somewhere, you know it’s not real. So why won’t you _listen to me_?”

Her head is slammed into the ground, no match for the stronger Kryptonians, even with the adrenaline and determination that courses through her bloodstream.

“Lena,” Kara chokes out, and everything bursts out of her in a sob.

Her wife’s grip tightens on her hand, so tight it hurts. “Darling, don’t listen to that imposter. She’s trying to trick you.”

The ground heaves under their feet, but the grip on her fingers only tightens more. Kara winces, staggering.

“I can’t- I can’t promise you a life without hurt, Kara,” Lena (the real Lena?) gasps, managing to knee a guard between the legs. He crashes to the ground, and Lena turns to Kara, pale green eyes brimming with tears.

“You can keep running away from it. Nothing’s ever kept me safe from pain, and staying here definitely won’t. You _know_ this is a lie. You know we’re not okay, Kara. But give me a chance to fix it.”

“No, we’re perfect,” Lena says smoothly, her thumb stroking Kara’s hand softly despite the iron grip it has on her.

“Life isn’t perfect!” Lena sobs again, eyes wide with anguish as she’s thrown on the platform. “You know this. We can fix this, I promise. I- I love you, Kara.”

It’s everything she’s ever wanted to hear.

She tugs against Lena, the Lena holding her hand, but the grip is unrelenting.

“Lena,” she cries, but she’s not sure which one she’s crying to, one, or the other, or maybe both.

The Phantom Zone projector powers on, rotating slowly until the tip points at Lena.

“Please come back to us,” Lena pleads, not fighting anymore. “Please. I know you remember. Earth needs you, Kara. Earth needs Supergirl. And the DEO. And CatCo needs Kara Danvers. And Alex and Kelly and- and Winn and James, they need you. 

“Your parents are gone, but Eliza, she needs their daughter and Alex needs her sister. And- and I need my best friend! I can’t see you _die_ without fixing things first. I need you, Kara. I need my best friend and- and the love of my life, and I’m so, so, so sorry I hurt you. But come back to us. Come back to _me_.”

The ground shakes violently, throwing Kara to the ground. She rips her hand away, but it’s impossible.

Kara sees Lena, her wife, striking the other Lena, staring coldly and allowing the guards to slam her into the floor, watching with an almost satisfied glint as the second Lena is forced into submission.

 _Non Nocere,_ she thinks. _Do no harm._ Half of the reason their relationship is as shattered as it is now.

Lena would never hurt someone. She would never even allow for someone to be hurt if she could help it.

And then, she realizes, this Lena, the one holding her, _she’s_ the true imposter here.

The ground shakes, the strongest tremor of them all, and plaster crumbles from the walls.

From beside her, Lori cries out in terror.

“I can’t choose this for you!” Lena gasps, looking Kara in the eye as the projector begins to buzz, humming increasingly louder. “You have to choose this for yourself!”

“I- I- this isn’t real,” she whispers, more to herself than anything, but Lena nods frantically.

“It’s real,” her mom urges, her voice so certain Kara just wants to cling on to that certainty.

“Your mom is right,” Lena says from beside her.

“Your mom is _dead_ ,” the Lena crumpled on the platform says softly. “You know this Kara.”

“She’s lying, Kara. She’s trying to trick you. What about _me_? What about our daughter?”

“ _.,ieiu,_ ” a small voice says from next her. Lori. “ _nahn khuhp w udolkhehdia .sokaovokaiodh w khuhp_ [I’m scared. Help me, please.]”

Kara fights every urge to just close her eyes and wrap her arms around Lori, shielding her daughter from this world that is crumbling around her.

“We could have this one day, Kara,” Lena continues fervently, tears silently streaming down her face. “We could have this life. We- we could _be this_ one day. But no, not like this. We’re going to have to fix all these wounds and we’ll be left with scars, but that’s okay because it means we healed and we made it. 

“We still have to fix everything between us, and I promise you, if you will let me, I can give you this life. I can give you happiness and I can love you because God, I love you so much it’s killing me, and- and now you know. But not like this. We can have a daughter someday, and we’ll name her Lori because you love that name and because it means honor and victory, but it’s also a tribute to your friend Sara’s sister, Laurel. But- but you have to come home to me first.”

“She’s lying!” Kal stands up from his seat.

“No, no I can’t stay here,” Kara says, tears streaking down her face. “I have to go back. You have to understand, Lena. I- I love you, but-”

Her wife throws herself at her, crashing their lips together, arms slipping around her waist. Her fingers throb as sensation rushes back into them. She almost breaks right then, but the ground shakes again, lurching underneath her.

She tears herself away, twisting out of the arms wrapped around her body, but Lena’s grip on her tightens and her eyes go completely black, so inky black and clear that Kara can see her own tear-stained face in them.

Kara’s blood turns to ice.

“We will never let you leave,” intones her voice, but it’s not quite her voice because it’s dropped in pitch and vibrates with other frequencies that resemble her family’s voices.

 _No,_ she shudders, scrabbling away from the voice, from the icy sensation that slinks up her spine dreadfully.

“Kara!” The Lena on the platform sinks to her knees, shoulders shaking, blood dripping down the side of her head.

“I- I got you, Lena,” she says, even if she’s still fighting to rip herself out of the other Lena’s— she knows now, the _fake_ Lena— hold. “I’m coming home. I’m coming home to you. I love you.”

And the sky falls in and the projector fires and the world goes white before her eyes.

***

The first thing Kara notices when she comes to is that she’s warm.

A weight _literally_ lifts off her chest as the alien creature releases its tight grip around her abdomen.

She hears yelling, screaming, filled with pain, with fury, and then relief.

And then there’s anger, so intense it burns like fire in her chest.

She struggles to open her eyes, finally pushing the oxygen mask off her face, clawing at it until the elastic band slips over her head.

The room goes silent.

And Lena is there.

_Lena._

Her breath catches and the overwhelming heat ebbs to something more manageable for a moment.

“Are you okay?” Alex asks, glancing at Kara and then Lena, whose cheeks are soaked with tears.

She hops off the bed, breathing slowly as she searches for her powers. Her head is down, and she hears the soft buzz that is heard right before she fires her heat vision.

And then she turns to everyone else, feeling a sudden rush of déjà vu when she asks, “Who did this to me?” Her voice is low and intense, full of barely suppressed rage, and Lena actually looks slightly terrified.

“Lex,” the Luthor whispers, arms wrapping around herself. “He had a Black Mercy in his vault. I’m so sorry. He-”

She barely hears the apology before she’s flying out, her entire being vibrating with fury and adrenaline.

Kara bursts through whatever walls are between her and Lex and drags him out onto the concrete, her shaky, barely-controlled fists striking him.

It’s like Non all over again, but exponentially more satisfying. His human body actually caves under her fists.

She lets out a wordless yell, slamming him into the concrete. His bones crack under her punches, he bruises and bleeds when she kicks him.

She doesn’t even notice when he pulls out a piece of kryptonite. The rock sends a rush of nausea through her, and her skin begins to burn, and suddenly she’s back in the Fortress.

Lena’s slipping the trigger back into her pocket, and although her lips are moving, Kara can hardly hear what she’s saying. Kryptonite sears her from the inside-out, but it’s nothing compared to Lena’s stoic expression, hard and cold. There’s no love in her eyes.

“You have no idea what you did to me,” she snarls, the sharp crack of his nose giving way under her fist doing little to satiate the urge to punch things.

He grunts under her hits, spitting out blood. Lex doesn’t reply.

“You made me lose _everything_! You took Lena- you took my best friend from me, and then- and then you made me lose them again. My friends, my family, my best friend, my whole,” she punctuates every word with a fist to the face, “goddamn… world. Again.”

Scarlet trickles from the corners of his mouth and she pummels his face until it’s little more than a broken, bloody mess, but she doesn’t stop. Kara knocks the kryptonite from his hands, gritting her teeth through the agony.

“Supergirl, stop!”

Her jaw clenches, and she swings at his face again. Lex lies motionless on the curb, face and body bloody, and Kara just stands over him, slamming her fist into his face.

“Supergirl, please!” It’s Alex, running up behind her, trying to restrain her.

“Kara, _stop_! What are you doing?”

She does. Only because Lena’s anguished cry sends a shuddering chill up her spine. Lena is next to her, hands splayed over her fists that are painted over with red, tugging her backward. The fog slowly clears from her mind, and she’s left standing over an unconscious Lex Luthor, panting.

“I- I…” She backs away, clenching her fists so hard her knuckles whiten.

“He’s alive,” Alex reports, fingers pressing lightly over his carotid pulse.

Kara flees. She flies up, so high that her tears turn to ice on her cheeks until she gets dizzy from the lack of oxygen. She circles the city from that altitude until her chest aches and she feels cold, like she’ll never be warm again.

She allows herself to drop, plummeting down so fast it’s like her stomach is being left behind. She barely catches herself, drifting away from the top of the skyscraper while blood rushes loudly in her ears.

“Supergirl, what are you doing?” Alex’s voice sounds in her earpiece.

She switches off comms, tuning her superhearing on one particular sound so she doesn’t catch Alex’s voice in the multitude of sounds her inhuman ears can catch.

There’s a steady heartbeat, a little faster than resting, but one she knows quite well. It’s Lena’s.

Along with the metronomic thumping, she hears the sound of breathing, slightly ragged and so slow it seems intentional. And then there’s a slight hitch and _oh, she’s crying._

Before she realizes what she’s doing, Kara is already hovering by the floor-to-ceiling windows of L-Corp. She’s about to turn away, but Lena catches her eye and all of a sudden, she’s frozen.

Her heart pounds in her ears, the steady thump much faster than normal.

Lena steps out on the balcony, wiping away her tears almost angrily before turning to face Kara once more.

“Hey,” she says. Her voice is hoarse and scratchy, and it makes Kara’s throat ache.

“Hi,” Kara says back. She hesitantly lands on the balcony, and Lena has a comforting hand on her back, guiding her inside.

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Kara doesn’t say anything, just allows Lena to lead her to the bathroom and scrub the dried blood from her hands. She stares numbly as the room momentarily fills with the scent of rust, the red becoming lighter as it mixes with the water and swirls down the drain.

Lena uses a towel to wipe her face gently, so gently she feels like she might cry. Her skin is soft on Kara’s and she’s hyperaware of every soft touch because it burns and tingles and lingers long after Lena’s hand has moved on.

“You have clothes under the supersuit, right?”

A nod.

“Okay, then. Let’s get that off. We need to get that washed.”

“The nanobots kind of do that for me,” she says quietly, pulling out of glasses from a secret pocket in the suit.

“Oh. How does that work?”

Kara shows her, nudging the small device Brainy had stuck to the frame of her glasses. The suit seems to dematerialize, and all of a sudden, it’s just Kara Danvers.

She hates how it’s so awkward. The conversation is quiet and strained, words slow as if trying to skirt around any sensitive topics.

“I’m sorry,” she blurts out.

Lena’s brows furrow. “I think I should be the one apologizing.”

“What I did was wrong,” Kara says, wringing her fingers. “I should’ve told you earlier.”

“Told me…?”

That only reminds Kara of the second large secret Lena had found out on her own.

“That I’m Supergirl. The fact that I’m I- the other thing doesn’t matter.”

“Well,” Lena chews on her lip, “it’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Kara sinks onto the bed, smoothing out her rumpled clothes. “Not now, please. I’m, I’m tired.”

“Okay,” she says simply.

They’re silent then, words trapped behind Kara’s closed lips. _Can I stay?_ She’s not quite sure how to say it.

She can hear the slightly elevated beat of Lena’s heart, pale eyes alight with uncertainty.

“Stay?” Lena says at last, voice quiet but steady. Her eyes flicker to the floor and stay there, and it’s the anxious twitch of her fingers that betray how bad she wants it. “Please.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” She exhales slowly.

“Okay.”

Lena blinks at her.

Kara cracks a small smile, and some of the tension is alleviated when the dark-haired woman laughs softly.

“I’m going to get changed, and I’ll be back, okay?”

Kara nods, scooting so that the covers drape over her legs.

Lena bends down slightly as if to place a small kiss on Kara’s head, but she freezes halfway, a blush blooming across her cheeks. Kara stops breathing, watching with a pounding heart as the other woman swallows and leaves to the bathroom, not before squeezing her hand softly.

The blonde brushes her fingers over the soft covers. Her legs rest comfortably into the mattress, not quite sinking into it; Lena’s mattress is harder than hers. It’s the familiarity that makes a lump lodge in her throat.

She brings the sheets to her nose, inhaling deeply. The smell of Lena’s shampoo and perfume overwhelms her momentarily, and she closes her eyes, fists closed tightly around the sheets.

It’s been a while, to say the least.

There’s a falter in movement from the bathroom, and Kara looks to the side to see Lena hesitating by the door. In the slight space between the door and the frame, she sees a hand creep up the wall and hesitate at chest height.

 _I’m afraid of the dark,_ Lena had confessed once. They had been tucked under Kara’s blankets, tentatively facing each other. 

_I think I would be if…_ Kara had trailed off, recalling that humans couldn’t see well in the dark.

 _If what?_ Lena had prompted.

In the moment, she had hesitated, thinking for a split second to tell her best friend her secret. _If you weren’t here,_ she had finished lamely.

She’d watched with a slight fascination as Lena’s cheeks colored, only noticeable to her Kryptonian eyes.

 _You’re my light, too_ , the dark-haired woman had answered softly, and they had left it at that, both inhaling intentionally slowly and precariously so their breaths couldn’t be heard.

Kara had missed the pounding of Lena’s heart over her own.

“You can keep it on,” Kara says softly, and the woman starts, pulling open the door with a sheepish twitch of her lips.

“You remembered.” She doesn’t sound surprised in the slightest, but she sounds dazed.

“Of course.”

Lena climbs into the bed beside Kara, keeping a decent distance between them. “Can we talk about everything tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Kara says, exhausted.

“Good night, Kara.”

“Good night, Lena,” she says quietly, reaching out to the lamp beside her to switch the final light off. Light from the bathroom glows through the crack, illuminating Kara’s movements, just barely.

“ _zhindehd :bem_ [sweet (good) dreams],” she breathes when she’s sure Lena is asleep or close to asleep.

The last thing she sees as Kara slips into a dream-filled sleep are pale green eyes, gazing at her a way that makes her chest ache.

Those eyes and their beautiful owner star in her dreams that night.

***

They don’t end up talking the next day.

Lena awakens to the sound of sirens and an apologetic look from Kara, who changes into her super suit in a mere second, hair brushed back in her usual Supergirl curls.

“Go get ‘em, Supergirl,” she says, and the blinding, four-septillion-watt smile she receives makes her heart swell.

Kara’s gone in an instant, the only evidence she was here at some point the crooked glasses on the nightstand.

She’s called into the DEO to question the rogue alien and to treat some bruised ribs.

Lena goes to L-Corp.

She’s on edge the whole day, checking her phone for Kara's updates, her leg bouncing up and down.

Jess urges her to head home early, and for once, she complies, packing up her things because she’s no use jittery and unfocused.

The next few days are uneventful and while Lena’s slowly calming, her nerves plague her. Her heart jumps whenever she catches blonde hair in the corner of her vision.

Kara never returns to pick up the pair of glasses.

***  
Lena takes it upon herself to call Kara, a full week later when there’s a long-enough lull in her workday that has her thoughts increasing in volume.

Her thumb trembles as it hovers above the call icon, and she smacks it down with her other hand before she psyches herself out.

She picks up after four and a quarter rings, just before it redirects to voicemail.

“Lena?”

“Hey,” the CEO says breathlessly. “I have two hours free from now to the end of lunch. Can we talk?”

It takes Kara almost a full minute to answer. Lena’s heart is beating so loudly in her ears she barely misses the small, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay,” she confirms.

***

“Okay.” Lena sits next to her on the couch, hands resting on her knees. Her fingers twitch on the cloth, undoubtedly wiping grease onto her dress. She grabs a leftover fry from the Big Belly Burger bag and pops it into her mouth just to have something to do. “The Black Mercy. It basically trapped you in your mind with what you desire most, right?”

Kara nods.

“And this isn’t your first encounter with it.”

“No,” she confirms.

“What did you see the first time?”

Kara hesitates. “Krypton. My parents, Kal-El, Astra.” Lena’s eyes flash with recognition at the last name. “My planet never exploded.”

“But this time?”

“It did,” she whispers. “My dad succeeded in building a fail-safe, but one only large enough to protect my home, Argo City.”

“If you could have your entire world back, then why didn’t you stay?”

“Because you’re my world,” she murmurs instinctively before blanching the minute she realizes the words that have come out of her mouth. “I- uhm, I mean, if Krypton didn’t explode, I would’ve never come here and met you.”

Lena’s breath hitches. “But your family, Kara. What about them?”

Kara shakes her head. “Family doesn’t always mean blood bonds. It could be the family we choose, the family we make. And here, I have you. And Alex and all my friends.”

“Your parents? Your planet?”

“Krypton had its chance. And you were right, Lena. My parents are gone.” She shrugs. “I’m not getting them back.”

Lena looks at her with an almost pained expression. “Why me?”

“Because it’s always been you.”

The Luthor swallows, and Kara hears her heart rate increase.

“I’m not good at love,” Kara admits. “When I fall in love, I fall hard. And fast. It was James, and then Adam, then Mon-El, and now…” She trails off. “And maybe that’s why I don’t get to be human, you know? Like, I’m Supergirl. I’m a symbol. I don’t get to be a person. And that’s what makes it so much harder for me.”

“We could have that if we tried,” Lena says.

“But that puts you in danger- the whole reason I didn’t tell you I’m Supergirl was because I wanted to protect you, Lena. You can’t be associated with me as Supergirl!”

She just snorts. “How is that putting me in more danger than I’m already in? I get quarterly assassination attempts.”

“Exactly!”

“Kara, you’re in love with me, right?”

Kara doesn’t miss the way her heart pounds so fast it sounds hopeful, how there’s hesitation in her voice and a little embarrassment in the flush of her cheeks. “Yeah,” she replies simply.

Lena takes her hands, slipping their fingers together. “I’m trying to say that I’m in love with you, too. I love you, Kara.”

“You- you do?”

“Yeah.”

“What about… me? What about the lie? I thought you hated me.”

Lena exhales, the corners of her lips quirking downwards. “I never hated you, no matter how much I wanted to. I was mad at you.”

“You should still be mad at me!” Kara cries. “I lied to you for _years_. I almost killed your brother right now.”

“To be honest, I wouldn’t have minded if you did.”

Kara frowns. “I’m serious, Lena.”

“I am too. Why can’t we have this?”

“There’s so much-” Kara gestures frantically at herself. “I have all this baggage, and plus, you’re still mad at me. I don’t get to be a person, a human. I can’t.”

“You can’t or you won’t?”

Kara doesn’t answer.

“Why can you let yourself have something?”

“I can! Not this. I’m going to hurt you, Lena. I’ve already hurt you so bad.”

“The people you love most will always have the ability to hurt you the most. Everything I said while you were under the Black Mercy was true. I meant all of it, Kara. You’ve hurt me, sure. But I hurt you, too. That’s just the risk we take.”

“Lena…”

“Why can’t you be selfish? For once!”

“Because I was selfish, and I hurt you. And then I lost you! What’s the good in being selfish if I lose everything?”

“You’re not losing me again, Kara. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” She chokes back a sob.

“I can keep it,” Lena insists. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily. You lost me because I ran away. I overreacted, and I hurt you, and I’m so, so sorry I did.”

“Your reaction was pretty justified,” Kara mumbles.

“No, it wasn’t. You know it wasn’t. I don’t know what I was thinking. But if anyone doesn’t deserve someone, it’s me. You’re good and strong and kind, and nothing you do will make me any worse. Kara, _please_.

“I love you, Kara. I want you, so bad. And I know you want it, too. So please, just let yourself have this. Let there be an ‘us.’ You want that, right? I want that, more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

"I didn't just... casually fall in love with you like it was a hole I stepped into on accident, okay? I walked into that love with my eyes wide open, and I _chose_ to love you. And maybe, for a bit, something got in the way, something... something tried to stop me. And- and that something was me, but I never stopped loving you, Kara. I never stopped _choosing_ to love you, and I never stopped choosing you. I know I'm not usually this forward, but I'm- I want you- I want _us_ more than I've ever wanted anything. The feelings are there, and- and so just let me love you. We're going to have to work out all these stupid kinks that got in the way, but isn't that what love is?"

“But... what if it doesn’t work out?”

“Then it doesn’t work out,” Lena answers evenly. “But we never know until we try! I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life, and maybe I figured that out way too late, but shouldn’t that count for something? I don’t know if I can go the rest of my life being just friends, Kara. I understand we're going to have to work for it, but you've never been one to turn away from hard work. You're- you're Supergirl. You can do anything. Just… let us try.”

She frowns, her heart pounding and gut churning as she contemplates this possibility. Kara sees her family, her home, the love of her life, and she’s never wanted anything more.

But she also sees pain and hurt, and Lena crying when Kara gets hurt, when maybe she hurts her again.

She sees Lena screaming at her, tears pouring down her face, locking her in that icy kryptonite cage before turning away, the look on her face colder than the ice and kryptonite combined.

 _You're Supergirl_. That was the cause of the whole fall-out, the whole breakup that made her doubt if love is sustainable.

(It isn't, she finds out. It isn't, not when the relationship is built on hidden feelings and half-truths.)

She shakes her head rapidly, her hands shaking, and before Lena has a chance to say anything else, she flees.

Just runs and runs until she’s alone enough to jump up and fly as if she could fly free of the shackles around her ankles, chaining her down.

She cries, watching as the tears drip off her face and onto the city below.

Kara tries to enjoy the cool air on her face, the breeze lifting the hair off her shoulders, tries to feel _free_ , but she feels anything but when she’s chained up and trapped in a whirlwind of agony and fear.

She flies back to her apartment, tearing off the super suit rather than slipping her clothes over it.

She looks at it in disgust, the bright red and blue. She’s supposed to be a symbol of hope. She sees now that Supergirl might just inspire pain as much as she does hope.

Alex finds her, hours later, staring blankly at the TV as the news plays quietly, hunched on the couch and wrapped up in a woolen blanket.

“Kara…”

She doesn’t move. She sees Supergirl on the TV, shots of the battle with the alien a week back. She sees her determined face and the beaming smile she gives the camera.

(Rao, she needs to get rid of those bangs.)

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Alex says, sitting beside her.

Kara begins to cry, her sobs muffled as she presses her mouth into the blanket.

“Okay, now you have to talk about it. What’s wrong?”

“Lena’s in love with me,” she says quietly.

“That’s great… why is that not a good thing? Last I checked, you were madly in love with her.”

Kara flinches at the comment. “I hurt her.”

“So?”

She turns on Alex, her eyes suddenly blazing with all the rage she’s held back. “I hurt her! And- and now, nothing’s ever going to be the same again. Nothing’s ever going to be… okay again.”

“Oh, Kara.” Her sister wraps an arm around her shoulders. “Hurting people is a part of life. And sometimes, it’s the people who love you the most that get the most hurt. And if they really love you, they’ll come back. Lena came back.”

“Only because I nearly died and she got a peek of my,” she rolls her eyes, “perfect fantasy life.”

“Maybe it made her realize how much she loves you.”

“But I _hurt_ her!” Kara’s shoulders crumple down more than they already are, blue eyes glistening with a fresh wave of tears.

“And she hurt you. Pain is just a consequence of love, Kara. You can’t run away from it. You out of everyone would know that.”

Kara clenches her fists, “I hate Supergirl, you know? I _hate_ her.”

“But after Mon-”

“Supergirl was a superhero. She was special and a symbol and famous and that part of me was enough for him. But _Lena_. She’s always seen me for who I am, not some stupid superhero I play. And she doesn’t like Supergirl.”

“Oh, Kara,” Alex says again, hesitant pity trembling in her voice.

Kara just lets the blanket fall behind her and walks towards her bedroom.

“Kara?”

“Give Lena a chance, okay? She loves you, you love her. Hurt is just part of the process. Remember Maggie? I took a risk with her, and I may have gotten hurt and hurt her, but I’m never going to regret it because she made me into the person I am today. You won’t regret it.”

She nods, turning back around to retreat to her room.

Alex stares helplessly after her.

***

The next time they meet, it’s in an elevator.

Kara is riding the elevator up to Lena’s penthouse, fingers drumming on her thigh, her heart pounding as she runs over possibilities of what she can say in her head.

Just as the door is closing, she hears rapid footsteps and a breathless, “Can you please hold the door?”

Kara’s hand shoots out pushing the metal doors open to reveal a very familiar CEO.

“Uh, Lena, hi!” Her cup of latte goes spinning towards the floor and she’s only able to catch it due to her fast reflexes.

“Kara. What are you doing here?” It’s breathless and high, filled with a strain that makes her heart palpitate.

The doors slide closed.

Kara taps her foot fingers drumming harder on her thigh, and Lena stands watching her, worrying her lower lip between her teeth.

_She’s so beautiful._

Lena meets her eyes and smiles softly, and her breath hitches. _Maybe…?_

“To see you.”

Her lips tug up in a sudden smile, eyes shining with delight. “I missed you.” Her eyes widen almost imperceivably as if she hadn’t meant to blurt it out.

“I missed you too,” Kara whispers.

Lena blinks, eyes soft, and just steps forward to embrace her softly. She melts into her friend’s arms, burying her face in her shoulder with a sigh.

“Lena?”

“Hmm?”

“I think I’m ready to give it a try.” Her heart turns violently inside of her chest and the tapping of her shoe on the floor only grows a little more anxious, her fingers almost puncturing a hole into the paper coffee cup that is held behind Lena’s back.

The Luthor stops breathing. “Give…?” The only indicator that she’s anxiously awaiting a response is her rapid heartbeat, jerked into the speed of a freight train at Kara’s hesitant words.

“Us,” Kara says, so quietly it’s barely a breath.

Chests pressed together, their hearts beat rapidly, hammering against sternums as if trying to reach the other.

“Oh, wow, okay. Uh,” Lena fumbles for a reply, and Kara giggles, a high, perfect sound that makes the Luthor just stop and stare for a moment. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“To clarify, like… us? As in.. you know,” she clears her throat awkwardly, “dating? Girlfriends?”

“Yeah,” Kara breathes.

“What changed your mind?”

“Alex,” she admits. “She reminded me how much I love you. And that… maybe the consequences of taking a risk aren’t all that bad.”

She takes a breath. “Okay, uhm. So what now? Uhm, I’m terrible at this.”

“I, uh, I don’t know,” Kara says, shuffling a little closer to Lena.

“Uh, okay, can I kiss you? Because well, technically you’ve kissed me, well not really, fantasy me, but I haven’t really kissed you and I’d really like to. Wait, sorry, are we moving too fast? I haven’t even taken you out on a date yet. Shoot. I-”

Kara’s eyes sparkle with amusement. “You’re rambling, Lee.”

“Oh. _Wow_ , I just pulled a Kara Danvers.”

Kara giggles and steps forward, pressing Lena into the wall and kisses her, so softly she gets dizzy. And _oh_ is right, because _oh,_ she’s not sure she ever wants to kiss anyone else ever again. And Kara knows, just _knows_ , with all of her heart, that this is going to be her last first kiss, that she’s never going to kiss anyone else ever again because even if Lena’s not quite her forever, nothing in the entire goddamn universe will ever compare to kissing Lena.

There are no fireworks, like all those romance novels say. There are no sparks behind her eyelids and no planets falling into alignment. It’s not quite mind-numbing or earth-shattering.

It’s the world finally spinning back on its axis again. It’s everything slowly piecing itself back together again, the kryptonite finally draining from her system, it’s the home she’s been looking for since the day she landed on Earth. 

It’s everything finally making sense, all this longing and pining and hurting and healing all compressed into a single, perfect kiss that makes Kara feel like everything’s going to be okay now and forevermore. It’s not quite _hello_ , but _hello again, is this what I’ve been missing?_ , and it’s _I can’t believe I didn’t do this before_ and utter and complete certainty and _this is what kissing is supposed to feel like._

Like she’s saying: _It’s you. You’re the one I’m looking for,_ even if she’s been right in front of her this entire time.

The kiss ends sooner than either would like, but they stay there, foreheads pressed together, pale green gazing into bright blue and maybe, maybe this is it, maybe this can be it.

Lena lets out a shaky laugh, her shoulders finally relaxing.

Kara grins, a bright giggle escaping her lips. And she kisses Lena again, just to see if- _yeah, I’m never kissing anyone else ever again_.

Before either has a chance to say anything, the car jerks to a stop and the lights flicker.

Lena stumbles, and Kara is by her side in an instant.

“Well, that’s not spooky at all,” Lena grumbles dryly.

Kara giggles nervously.

The lights blink out completely, drowning the two in darkness.

A faint buzzing starts, evidently closer and different than the faint humming of the machinery that had faded when the elevator car had stopped.

“Kara?” She sounds panicked.

“Hold up,” the Kryptonian mutters, before she turns to Lena, eyes glowing, buzzing as they do before she uses heat vision.

Lena blinks. “That is… terrifying.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“No, no, don’t stop. It’s dark.”

Kara nods, taking a deep breath, and lets her eyes light up a little space.

“I’m claustrophobic,” she admits.

“You can get us out of here, right?”

Kara’s breathing is fast and shallow, and she’s pacing back and forth.

“Last time I broke a hole right through the roof.”

“That was you?”

“Uh, sorry.”

“The repairs were expensive, but nothing I couldn’t afford,” Lena says. “Now, um, can you pry the doors open?”

“Yeah, right, okay,” Kara murmurs, sliding her fingers into the crevice between the doors. She pushes it open, twisting her mouth when she sees the foot of concrete in her face. “We’re actually in between floors.”

Lena takes out her phone flashlight. “Oh. Can you get the outside doors open?”

“Up or down?”

“What floors?”

Kara lowers her glasses to squint through the metal doors. “Oh, up is our floor. I’m- I’m going to have to carry you up. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

The Kryptonian gently loops her arms around Lena’s waist, lips twitching upward at the soft huff and the uptick in her heart rate. The woman bats her arm softly and buries her nose in Kara’s neck with a grunt.

Kara just grins and hovers upwards, squeezing them through the gap.

“Let’s notify the building about the elevator, and then we can… talk.”

Kara sets the Luthor down gently when they get inside, gnawing her lip anxiously as she taps out a quick email to the building staff.

Lena makes no move to step away, so close she’s almost pressed up against Kara. She holds her breath, eyes drawn to the pink tongue that pokes its way between soft lips in concentration.

When she finishes, she exhales deeply and looks up to meet Kara’s gaze.

“Hey,” she says, grinning.

“Hey,” Lena says back, eyes creased with the weight of her smile.

Kara twitches, fingers playing with her shirt. Her heart pounds in her throat and despite only being inches away, there’s an urge to be closer, to get closer, so she blurts, “Can I hug you?”

“Yeah, okay.”

She takes Lena into her embrace, tucking her face in Lena’s neck and holding her as tight as she can without hurting her, like she can never get close enough. She remembers when she first learned about atoms on Krypton, _zharrahdhehd_.

How they never truly touch. How they repel each other. Maybe that’s why she feels like she can never get close enough to Lena.

“I love you,” Kara breathes, pressing herself as close as she can. She inhales deeply, committing the smell of her shampoo and perfume to memory.

“I- I love you, too, darling,” Lena says back, and gently extracts herself from the Kryptonian despite every urge to stay close. Kara grunts in complaint, flopping onto the couch.

Lena chuckles and Kara is immediately enamored, her heart swelling as something resembling relief and joy overtakes the pain and anger that had lingered for months.

“Why did you come back, Lee?”

“What?”

“Well, I thought I would have to be the one to, you know, ask for this whole thing back, but then the black mercy happened…”

Lena smiles ruefully. “I didn’t mean to… overreact so much. But Kara, it… it could’ve been anyone else, and I would’ve survived it. Anyone else.”

“Oh.” She swallows.

“And then that night, you came and you made me realize I was acting like, you know, Lex. Like a villain.”

“No, Lena, you did what you-”

“What I did was objectively _bad_ , Kara. Maybe I didn’t see it then, but I intentionally hurt you. I thought- I thought giving the hurt back would get rid of it, but it only made it worse.” Her voice catches and she swallows.

“And then the black mercy happened, and I saw into your head. And I realized that maybe you weren’t lying when you- when you said you wanted me back.”

Kara reaches out a hand to brush away a tear, and Lena flinches back as if she hadn’t realized she had been crying. “I never lied to you, Lee. Not since… Supergirl.”

Lena nods. “But that was the part that hurt the most. And then, I saw what you really wanted in the black mercy, and I would’ve doubted it. I would’ve doubted it if it hadn’t been for Lex, who gloated about the black mercy to me, so many times.”

“I saw you and me. And I saw that you could’ve died in there. And it hit me then, that, I’ve been so many things. I’ve been your friend, your best friend, I became a traitor-”

“No-”

“Just let me speak, Kara.”

“Okay,” she whispers, swallowing back the sob that rises in her throat.

“I’ve been a stranger, your best friend, your boss, a traitor, a _villain_ , but this whole thing? It made me realize that while I’ve been all those things at one time or another, I never stopped being a girl who was in love with you.”

Kara’s breath hitches, and she chokes back a messy sob as tears spill down her cheeks.

“I’m in love with you, Kara Zor-El Danvers. All of you.”

She sniffs loudly, running her hands under her eyes. “And I love the human part of you, and also the Kryptonian part. And Supergirl may not be my favorite person-”

The superhero laughs wetly.

“-but she’s still Kara.”

“You know, I’d stop being Supergirl if it meant I could keep you forever.”

Lena hums quietly. “But Supergirl is the city’s hero. And she’s my hero. Even if her name is under yours on that list.”

Kara scrunches her nose up in confusion, “Well, technically, I’m above myself, but I’m also under myself…”

“You’re a lot of things,” Lena whispers with a chuckle. “You’re Supergirl, investigative reporter, Kryptonian, former assistant of Cat Grant, former… Noonan’s employee. Similarly, while you’ve been all these things at one time or another, on and off, you never stopped being the love of my life.”

Her cheeks flush as she says the last four words, and Kara quivering lips pull back into a wet smile.

“Well, technically, before we met-”

“You’re the reason I came to National City, Kara. Well, Supergirl. But I came here, looking for you. You know what I found instead?”

“Kara Danvers?”

Lena shakes her head firmly cupping Kara’s face gently in her soft hands.

“Kara Zor-El Danvers?” She tries again.

The Luthor lets out a huff of equal parts exasperation and amusement, eyes twinkling with something beyond the sheen of tears.

“Kar-”

Lena rolls her eyes, shutting her up with a soft kiss to the mouth.

It’s effective.

Kara tries not to stare at the smirk lingering on the other woman’s lips.

“A home, darling. I found a home. I found my family, the people I want to stay with. For the first time in twenty-three years, I felt like I was okay, like I was home again.”

“In National City?”

“With you, idiot.” Her hands fall onto her lap in fond exasperation.

“Oh.”

“Yes.”

Kara almost swoons.

“If Lex had known the easiest way to take down Supergirl was by simply being his sister, he would’ve invented the image inducer way earlier than I did,” she mutters, but her tone is light.

Kara giggles, cheeks flushing pink. “Yeah, but he’s not as smart as you are.”

“He’s definitely sm-”

“You invented the image inducer, Lee. You created Earth’s first transmatter portal. You were a chess prodigy at age four and graduated MIT with three Ph.D.’s by eighteen. You made me anti-kryptonite suits, and you made Harun-El safe. You synthesized _kryptonite_.”

There’s a flash of pain and a sharp intake of breath at the mention of the alloy.

“Well…”

“Lena, you’re a freaking genius, and there’s no way Lex has anything on you.”

Kara receives a sheepish smile. “Okay, now shut up.”

“Does that mean I can kiss you now?” she blurts.

Lena brings a cool palm to her cheek, Kryptonian skin blazing under her colder, human skin. Kara leans into the touch, deep blue eyes watching every movement of Lena’s face.

“Yeah.”

It’s not perfect by any means. Their teeth hit more than once, and their awkward position on the couch doesn’t help, especially when Kara shifts and almost breaks Lena’s nose.

But it still takes Kara’s breath away, knocks the air from her lungs and leaves her reeling.

“Miss Luthor? There’s a Miss Danvers here to see you,” a tinny voice sounds through the intercom. “Should I let her up?”

Lena pulls away reluctantly, hands slowly sliding from where they rest on Kara’s cheeks. The latter makes a small noise of complaint, pressing forward to press another kiss to the former’s lips.

“Darling, your sister is here.”

“One more,” she murmurs, leaning forward to steal what is definitely more than just a single chaste kiss.

“Miss Luthor?”

Kara pouts as Lena pushes her away gently, scooting back over to her side of the couch.

She clears her throat. “Let her up.”

Kara is practically vibrating her fingers tapping on her knees, body shivering with excess energy.

“Do you need to, I don’t know, take a lap around National City?”

“Maybe.”

Lena sighs, albeit fondly. “Go.”

A kiss is planted on her cheek and there’s a blur as Kara bounces out the window.

“Don’t break all the windows!” Lena calls after her.

A tap at the door knocks Lena from her dazed state, holding fingers to her lips. She steps over to pull it open.

“What windows?” Alex Danvers stands at her door.

Lena just shrugs and closes the door once the auburn-haired woman walks in.

Kara lands on the balcony a little too roughly and staggers in until she’s almost leaning on Lena, breathless.

“Oh, hey Alex!”

The former DEO agent frowns at the two of them, eyes flickering to the mere inches between them followed by their faces.

“You two kissed didn’t you?”

It’s a lot more accusatory than Kara expects, and her heart gets a little bit heavier.

“What? Pshhh, no-”

“Her lipstick is on your face.”

“Oh.”

“What’s wrong, Alex?”

She shakes her head.

Kara frowns, “Do you have a problem with us? You were the one who told me to, and I quote, ‘give Lena a chance.’”

“Yeah…” Alex shifts her weight.

“Is it because the kryptonite thing from, like two years ago?”

“Exactly that.”

“I haven’t made kryptonite since, okay? I’m not going to put Kara’s life in danger like that.”

“You were fine with it before,” Alex throws back.

“Alex! No need to be so hostile. Look, I don’t want to talk about the past. We all did things wrong. But who says we can’t start over now?”

“Kryptonite is the one thing that can _kill_ you, Kara.”

“Red Daughter and Reign did it just fine without it.”

“It’s not a joke!”

“I’m fine with Lena making kryptonite. I- I trust her with it.”

“She pointed kryptonite cannons at you.”

“She didn’t fire them.”

“Still right here,” Lena mutters, but her grip on Kara’s is tight and sweaty, her eyes downcast. Her entire being seems slumped over, almost like guilt weighs her down.

“You could have died!”

“And I would’ve died if she didn’t stop Reign.”

“There was probably another way!”

“No.” Kara’s voice cracks. “I saw the other way. When we didn’t use kryptonite. They all _died_ , Alex. Mon-El, Sam, _Lena_. They all ended up dead. Because of me. Because I was too selfish to allow something to hurt me. Lena was right when she said that, you know? Everything can hurt you guys. Cars kill humans, and you don’t ban cars. Everything on this Earth can kill you, and there’s one thing for us Kryptonians; maybe I should be able to take it.”

“Kara…”

“You were fine with loading the lights in the training facility with kryptonite.”

“That’s different,” Alex argues weakly.

“What are you here for?” Lena cuts in, eyeing the manilla envelope in Alex’s hand. The older Danvers sister visibly deflates in relief.

“I, uh, I just needed you to sign an NDA for the whole Supergirl thing. We trust you,” Alex rushes to add, “but it’s become mandatory after Colonel Haley came in and tried to squeeze it out of the agents.”

“Okay,” she says, extracting her hand from Kara’s.

She signs on the appropriate lines, and to prove that she can trust, she doesn’t read over the pages and pages of words.

Kara blinks. “You’re… not going to read it?”

“I trust you,” she says simply.

Just days before, if you had asked Kara what her kryptonite was, she would’ve said _Lena_. She almost had that one time the latter asked, biting her tongue to keep from blurting the two obvious answers.

It’s clear now that the answer has changed. Kara links their hands together once more and decides that maybe Lena isn’t her kryptonite, her _weakness_.

If she’s the sun, the Lena’s her moon. Dark and cold, but still able to shine, still able to give off light given some help from the sun.

It's quite fitting, Kara muses. Everything about them sits on the far ends of the same scales, a perfect balance as they dance around each other.

They’re perfect opposites, but equal in every way.

And maybe the sun hardly ever meets the moon in the sky, struggling to catch up in its eternal orbit, its place in the sky.

But eclipses still do happen every once in a while, don’t they?

“Lena?” Alex turns, a hand on the doorframe.

“Yeah?”

“Take care of my sister.”

“I will,” she promises.

Kara beams at her and it’s like maybe everything can be okay again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're wondering about the _/:zhaote/_ thing, and how Kara freaks because Lena is referring to her as family, it's because the suffix /-te/ is a familial possessive. it should be _/khuhtiv :zhao/_ , since romantic relationships, even to marriage is still an alienable object. when lena refers to kara as her _:zhaote_ , it holds so much importance because lena is saying that kara is part of her family.
> 
> for the last kryptonian phrase of the day, someone finally got it in the comments! makes me feel like I'm not doing it for nothing, hehe. thanku [maiwriting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maiwriting/pseuds/maiwriting)  
> for your lovely comments and being the only one to take the effort to do that :)
> 
> the answer is  
>  ** _stars cannot shine without darkness_**
> 
> here's a similar phrase! it's a bible verse actually. let's see if anyone figures it out.
> 
> **  
> _/.:divilodh tiv :divi w tiv dovrrosh fis; zov zhajivuhsh tiv dovrrosh w gehd/_  
>  **
> 
> before you go!! i have a few things i must erm advertise. for anyone interested, i created an Instagram account where i basically teach kryptonian by writing out what I've learned and how i learned it. it's called [learning.kryptahniuo](https://www.instagram.com/learning.kryptahniuo/)
> 
> happy new year!! hope 2021 is much better than 2020 was <333


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